Can Depression/Anxiety make you think you don't love someone?

You love him , it's obvious .

You can't imagine a life without him. You might have a hormonal imbalance or even just your cycles could cause this. Hormones affect everyone. Be more confident in yourself and your relationship . Just write that day off as not feeling yourself and don't analyze it. Instead realize how good life is with him and get to the next day as it comes.

hi everyone. i started this thread about two years ago and was really struggling at the time with anxiety. im glad that people are still posting here!! my anxiety had me questioning my relationship a lot which made me even more anxious. i went and spoke with a therapist a few times just to help sort through my thoughts. i still struggle with anxiety daily but only mildly. i have developed many coping mechanisms. also, i am still together with the same boy i posted this message about. we are going on 5 years together and have even gotten through two years of long distance while he is away at college. listen to your heart and manage your stress. everything will work itself out 😃

I think my bf (now ex) is going through the same thing. He broke up with me stating he did not feel in love, but loved me as a best friend, doesn't want to lose me, and I am so amazing. But now that he moved out, he admitted he is battling depression (already knew he had that plus anxiety, but first time he stated the depression). Now he texts and calls off and on, and even cries sometimes because he misses me and said stuff like I wanted it to be you so bad, but I feel like you deserve so much better than me and he’s so numb that it even blocks good feelings. So with him saying all of this, do you think he has ROCD ? He cares about me so much and he looked horrible when be left me like he didnf want to and now still always contacts me. This is so hard because we loved each other so much I just wish he would feel better and come back to me.

Hi!

I am really thankful for your sharing your experiences. My situation is a bit different and was hoping to get some insight on what i could do. I recently (6 months ago) separated from my husband. We were together 6 years in total, but the last year was absolutely miserable for both of us. So, when we finally called it quits it was hard a for a couple months, but I really started to realize that we could not live each other as we needed to be loved. Well, about 2 months ago I met this wonderful guy who I have no complaints about. Everything felt like it was going great and this was the start of something wonderful. We decided to take things to the next level and had some issues resulting in me deciding to take an emergency contraception pill out of pure precaution. It was a Saturday when I took it and everything seemed fine Sunday. Monday I was still in the excitement happy go lucky phase. Excited to hear from him and talk with him. The Tuesday a full 3 days from the time that I took the pill a sudden feeling of nothing wiped over me. I cried. I've spent the last several days in a severe depressive state unable to eat. I think about just ending it, but then when I try I can't. Today I was feeling better. I went to see him and he was ready to call it quits due to his prior experiences with someone close to him and depression. I convinced him to give me another chance. i left him feeling positive that we could rebuild only to start having these feelings or nothingness toward him. its like a pit in my stomach. could depression from the medicine (as well past dealings with depression) cause this? or did my feelings for him just disappear over night?

Hello Chantal, I had the same thoughts as you couple of months ago and I had them for about a year or more. I felt so guilty for being with my boyfriend, something inside was telling me that I was no longer in love with him. Sometimes I felt nauseous too. It felt like I had a knot inside me. I tried fighting those feelings but they would just get stronger and sometimes I would break up with him. I would feel relief for a while but few days later I would miss him again. He kept trying to go back with me and I kept giving him chances but those HORRIBLE feelings would come back, until one day I told myself that I will give it a real chance even if I had those tormenting feelings. Once I made that decision I let my self accept those feelings. I surrendered to them. My fear was that they will never go away but I still gave it a chance. I began to read about depression, anxiety and panic attacks a lot. One quick search was: how long does panic attack last? They last from 10 mins to 30 mins. Every time I had the panic attack (not in love thoughts, guilt and more; the whole shabang) lol I would just tell myself "these feelings are temporary and eventually they will go away." I know sometimes the feelings stay for a day or two and that's when I would feel exhausted and ready to give up. Allow yourself to feel them. I can't remember the day I stop feeling them but they stopped. I started to work out and focus on myself. Having someone who really loves me for who I am even after breaking up with him multiple times and telling him that I no longer love him makes those feelings makes this struggle worth it. I even moved in with him when I had those feelings to see if I was really not in love with him. It was horrible especially at night. I had those thoughts at night but as soon as I would surrender to them the feelings began to decrease in intensity and i would fall back to sleep. Little by little they will go away. I feel like I felt in love with him again, actually I feel more in love now that I did before. So weird in a good way.

What I learned from this horrible experience is that anxiety says present into our life when is time to re-invent ourselves. That's why we want to cut everyone from our lives to really focus on us but if your boyfriend really loves you he can give you your space. What helped me was working out, meditation, cooking, just taking care of myself. Really think what brought you to this position, did you loose your job, do you want to start something new, did you loose a family member. There might be something deeper in you that you have to work on. Take you time and think about it. Hang in there!

Hey all! I looked up this forum a long time ago when I was feeling the exact same things, so I decided to finally come back on and tell my story. I was dating my boyfriend for 3 three years, and one night during a camping trip, all of the sudden, I had thoughts like, "I don't remember what it was like to feel happy with him. I don't remember any of our good memories. Do I love him?" Our relationship has been amazing for the past three years (with occasional arguments like all couples), so this was absolutely random and spontaneous. I couldn't sleep that night with those questions in my head, but I called him and he reassured me and I calmed down (just because I can't recreate the same feeling at that moment in time, doesn't mean they didn't happen). He had experience with anxiety, so having him be able to tell me these thoughts were irrational helped me so much. After those initial anxious thoughts, my anxiety would come and go in waves. Some months I'd be miserable with anxiety and others I'd be happy and confident that in our love and our relationship. But the bad months were absolutely horrible. My anxious thoughts were on the lines of: "What is love? Do I feel love for him? What would I do if we broke up right now? Would I be relieved? Would I be upset?" I was so susceptible to my anxious thoughts. They were so convincing that the love in my relationship didn't exist. My anxiety got bad that even I would feel the physical symptoms of a panic attack, and immediately associate them with my anxious thoughts. Then afterwards, I would spiral and ask myself "What do my panic attacks mean? Is there importance in why I'm having anxiety attacks? Is the universe trying to tell me something?" {Side note: the universe wasn't telling me s**t. I'm in charge of my own life, not the universe.} Every time I had these anxious thoughts, I would confide in him and he would help me calm down. But, this lasted for 2 years. It became exhausting for him. He started getting upset about my anxiety and got tired of telling me the same things over and over again to calm down. He compared it to the story of the boy who cried wolf.

I tried going to therapy. One therapist creeped me out, so I didn't go back to him. I tried another therapist and she helped for a while, but it wasn't what I was looking for. I'm confident that therapy will work for you if you find the right therapist, but I just couldn't. If it wasn't for the COVID-19 pandemic, I'd go back to therapy.

There were points where I thought we'd break up. Sometimes my anxiety would be so frequent, he would also believe that I didn't love him. And why wouldn't he? If I'm getting anxious thoughts and were BELIEVING them and then TELLING him what I believed, wouldn't he think I didn't love him? It's important to note that I should've known it was anxiety when it came with panic. I had heart palpitations, heavy breathing, my brain would ask so many questions, and I felt like I was going crazy. PLUS, when I wasn't in the wave of anxiety, I would feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have him as my boyfriend. I KNEW that I loved him, but as I said, anxiety is f*****g CONVINCING. But after times of communication and crying and remembering my thoughts were just irrational, we would always make it through the hard times.

At a certain point, I started getting annoyed with my anxiety. I was sick of having panic attacks. What an inconvenience! I went to my doctor, and he told me I was suffering from Panic Disorder and prescribed me anti-anxiety medication. Let me tell you, the first month I was on it, I felt mentally stable. Like, I've never felt like that in my life! Is this what regular people feel like? EVERY DAY? I had no panic attacks, no anxious thoughts, NOTHING. It's been about four months that I've been taking the medicine, and I feel great. I still get small panic attacks (not as much as I did), but I'm 100% able to deal with my panic attacks and not associate them to my anxious thoughts about love. I'm so happy in my relationship right now. I'll update how the medication is going the longer I use it. My doctor always suggests that if my panic attacks come back, he can up the dosage. I'm on a pretty low dosage right now, and it's working wonders. I've never been so confident in my relationship, and I'm also confident in how I handle my panic attacks and stop anxious thoughts.

Hello Chantal, I've been going through the exact same thing. my partner and I broke up about a year and a half ago (because of me) and got back together about a year ago. during the break up, I felt incredibly guilty for breaking his heart, and I was very much heartbroken myself because I love him so much. when we got back together, the guilt remained, and I started having intrusive thoughts of breaking up again, and eventually I started having thoughts that I didn't love him anymore, and then I started feeling those thoughts. it was horrible, I was so devastated, and I still am, because despite all the love I have for him, I still get doubtful thoughts telling me otherwise. I didnt know what was happening and i was terrified i was going to lose him again because of my mind. shortly after, i developed a severe anxiety disorder, the thoughts started getting worse and worse about different things, making me doubt every single thing in the world. I realized that if anxiety made me doubt things that were absolutely ridiculous to think about, so were my thoughts surrounding my love for my partner. I too, felt all the love, the happiness, the peace, when I was with him, every time we would lock eyes my doubts would just melt away, but there were always times where my thoughts would not stop even when together. it certainly is anxiety to answer your question. Anxiety strucks on the things we care most about, and it's completely irrational. that's something I'm still trying to learn. hope this helps.

Ive been going through this for 10 months. I went to God about it and I almost gave up in my faith because I had the urge to leave so bad. But there was moments I knew this was wrong. That I loved him there was just so much pain and anxiety blocking it. I couldnt feel joy or happiness either. I even knew if I left I couldnt be with our son all the time and that is not me. I felt numb to it but wanted to escape what I thought was the pain.. my situation. I literally woke up one morning and all lights were out. I felt nothing. How could that be hes the love of my life! I would do anything for my family. Im giving medication another try because you dont just wake up and want to leave your family. I know something is off. I can see our future together I just cant feel anything. The main one is happiness. I will go to my car and scream in pain in not understanding. Ive even been so bad I went into his closet and held onto his cloths balling like a baby. Why cant I feel??? I feel like I'm in this dream well nightmare and I dont feel myself. My vision is not clear it is like I'm living in a fog with no color. Nothing feels alive or vibrant. I catch myself looking at old pictures like where is that person. Where am I. Many times he looked like a stranger to me like we never met! Never in the first 9 years did I see this coming. I love me family, I'm proud of us and how we work as a family. I couldnt ask for anything else! Theres nothing wrong with my husband if anything hes gotten better through this being so supportive. I can feel the thoughts and panic creep up as I get my morning going and my daily routine is fighting them off saything how there all lies. Up until that one morning Id wake up early ready for the day. Always happy and bubbly truly. Now I wake up afraid of the day. I bracew myself before my feet hit the floor ready to fight another day. I feel alone, scared, pain, and everything seems grey. I moslty cry all day as I try and hide it from our son. I was always the happy strong one. Now I fight minute to minute

I am in a really similar situation rn

i have been in a relationship with my bf for 1 and half years and we didnt always have the best relationship but we tried so one month ago he broke up with me and asked for a break but two weeks later he told me that he cant live without me and that he loved me so i agreed and we still fought and one day he says he is afraid to loose me and the next day he says he doesnt think he loves me and he doesnt show affection at all i know he does so i want to be next to him because his family isnt but i am scared he doesnt love me and he will leave me .

hi. If you read this can you please send an update? You guys still together?

hi chantal!

thank you for sharing this as i am going through the exact same! me and my boyfriend moved in together over lockdown and in may i just woke up one day and i had these thoughts about if i love him, do i still want to be with him, would i be better off without him, should i leave him? i still have the same thoughts now. some times they go and im so in love then when i have these thoughts i dont want to be near him and better off on my own. i got diagnosed with depression and anxiety and i am on medication but its not helping me. i also went private with a therapist and she has been helping and said its down to your previous relationship and how you view yourself. i am getting so tired of feeling like this and having these thoughts i am driving myself mad constantly looking on the internet. is anyone else experiencing this or has because i need to know if this is normal and i am not the only one. thanks

Reading those made me feel kinda at home about how I feel as well.

I was always unlucky with love.

But I finally found my love and for the first time I was happy.

Even if we started in a weird way because of my anxiety and fear.

I sometimes live with him and time to time I got anxiety crysis, thinking "If I love him for real or Is just my illusion" something like that.

I feel really low, bad, sad and can't do nothing.

Then... Everything changes and I feel all the love back.

And maybe all I wanted was some time alone for myself doing my stuff.

I was afraid that anxiety could make us be apart.

And I don't want it!

When I don't live with him and stay with my family instead, I'm always afraid that as soon as I'm with him again I'll have anxiety again and intrusive thoughts again or even doubt my love.

Even if everything so far was Good and perfect and I know I love him.

It just choke my stomach and I hate it.

I was really afraid I was going to tell him to take a pause or broke up and let my anxiety win. But I managed to overcome it.

Sometimes it pushes you to a point in which you can't do anything... You don't even know what's real anymore.

We can do it