Can Depression/Anxiety make you think you don't love someone?

That is such AWESOME news! So happy for you -- you give us (those who have loved ones that have depression/anxiety) and loved ones who have the depression/anxiety hope!

Best advice stop asking ppl for there advice cuz there gona all say sum thing they probably dont even understand themselves...let him go he ain't making u happy simple...

Everything you've said has gone through my head too but I'm unsure as to whether or not i have depression. For as long as i can remember, i have had trouble with my emotions. I attribute this to my poor upbringing and social life as my mother is an abusive drunk, and i was bullied a lot at school. 

ive been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now, and i started to get these thoughts a month or so after i returned to uni. the day he dropped me back to my house before i had to leave was one of the most painful things ive ever had to experience. I had severe stomach pain, every time i moved or breathed the muscles under my ribs would cramp so intensely i almost threw up. I could barely eat or drink, i ended up having to go to the doctor, and they gave me medication that is usually prescribed to people with gastrointestinal disorders like IBS or IBD. it didnt really help much, but eventually, after a few visits from my boyfriend, and a weekend back at home, the pain went away. and then a few weeks later, we had a huge fight, and this chest pain just overtook me. I was so afraid, it felt similar to when my ex boyfriend broke up with me via text a couple of days before we were supposed to celebrate our 6 month anniversary (silly i know, but we were young and because we were both still doing exams, we hadnt seen each other in a while, thanks to me, and i thought it would be a good idea to celebrate it). anyway, this feeling appeared, even after we resolved the argument after many hours (it was now early in the morning, like 4/5am) and i was so shook by it. I was afraid it for what it meant, and suddenly my mind answered it for me- i didn't love him any more. but i knew, logically it wasnt true. I wouldnt have gone through hours of arguing and resolving, trying to prevent us breaking up, if i didnt love him. however this feeling persisted, and then he said he was going to come and visit, right then and there and my heart skipped, but not in a good way like it usually does. see, at the beginning of our relationship i was the happiest ive ever been in my life. we were so in love, and i dont mean to be crude, but my sex drive was through the roof. we hardly ever argued, and if we did then we resolved it very quickly and we both moved on. it was forgotten. I know a lot of people will say this was the honeymoon phase but he says he still feels like that with me, when im not crippled by my own emotions. and i know i could still feel like that again, and i can feel it buried inside me, but i cant get past the sadness and emptyness i feel now to reach it and im so afraid i will push him away too much and lose him. i can be so mean sometimes and i dont mean it, i try to tell him that and he says he understands but it doesnt take back the words i say and i feel so awful for treating him like this i love him more than anything on this god forsaken earth and i honestly dont think i would survive very long if i lost him. 

anyway, since that night, these thoughts of 'do i love him' 'you should leave him' 'he deserves so much better than you' etc have been a constant background soundtrack in my head, and even when he is with me, i feel alone and i hate myself for it. i just want to go back to the way we were before. i want to really feel the love i know i have for him. i want to be excited about seeing him, i want to fall asleep thinking about our future, not worrying about whether or not he loves me, or if we're right together. ive mentioned this to him, but he's very sensitive and takes a lot of things personally so i dont like to go into too much detail but he knows what goes on in my head, he doesnt necessarily understand it fully, and i know he worries that he isnt good enough because he can't make me happy anymore like he used to. i try to explain to him that nothing makes me happy anymore, not really. i get moments where i forget almost, it might last a couple of days, but then like a ton of bricks it hits me again, the bad thoughts, the self-pity, self-loathing. but then i still manage to drag myself out of bed and go to my lectures. then again im more scared of the repercussions if i stop going. i know that would be a hole i couldnt dig myself out of. 

a few weeks ago, my boyfriend finally convinced me to get help for this mental issue, whatever it is. i went to see a doctor, and he sent me to a therapist who asked me about my 'history'. for some reason i didnt feel like i could tell him everything. i told him a bit about my mum, about my past suicide attempts, a little about how i felt now but now i think about it, i watered it down a lot. i didnt mention the times where i couldnt even open my eyes because every part of my body hurt and the lights just made it 1000x times worse, or how every time i get into a slight disagreement, my brain shuts down and i curl up in a ball and ignore everything until i feel marginally okay again. or how i cant even stay normal for more than a day before i feel the sky closing in, and my world crashing down. 

so he offered me cognitive behavioral therapy, which will take up to a month for a re-referral. this was two weeks ago, and i dont think i can wait another two weeks. ive been drowning in work for uni, and somehow ive been managing to churn out coursework and even do revision for tests. i really fear failing this degree. it would honestly ruin me. im one of the first in my family to go to university, a cousin of mine dropped out after two weeks and is now doing dead end jobs and is living with his parents, and every family member i talk to tells me about him and the job he's doing now like hes the black sheep of the family. i know my mother would be so disappointed if i dropped out or failed. she cares more about how she appears to other people than how we actually feel. when i was younger, she found out about my self-harm scars, took me to the doctor and said 'get rid of this' but not in a 'i fear for my childs wellbeing' kind of way, more of a 'i fear for my reputation'. since then, i gave up on maintaining a positive relationship with her. we still talk and i'll be civil, her partner, who i actually love, just got diagnosed with lung cancer so i know she's struggling. i want so badly to go home but if i do i'll probably end up flunking a module and i can't do that. 

i dont mean to overshare, i dont really have many people i can talk to, i lost touch with my best friend after a weed addiction took over her life and she turned into a completely different person, one i didnt like. i feel so alone, apart from my boyfriend, but then i dont want to lean on him too much because i know he has his own issues too. 

but yeah, im really struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel these days, and this therapy thing is taking way too long. i get some comfort from these forums, knowing that there are people that have suffered and are suffering similar situations to me. i know there is hope, its just so hard to hold on when everything else seems to be falling apart. 

and for people who suggest i ask for medication, i really dont want it. i want to be able to train myself out of this so that it doesnt happen any more. i want to be free. i want to be in control of my emotions. i cant do that under the influence of a pill. 

thanks if you read all of this, it means a lot. i hope that whatever brought you to this thread gets better soon and that you can see the light at the end of your tunnel. 

Hi Chantal, I hope your feeling better these days and everyone else here, I followed every word.

I dated this girl for only four months 3 months ago we had an amazing connection and clicked instantaneously with everything.

Fast forward to the last week in October we planned a 3 day getaway with her and her kids, she was so excited and she told everyone about it.

Then as she had been trying to remove the ex from her lease and banks telling her she couldn't re-finance on her own she went from the most sexiest passionate woman I've ever met to a cold or rather emotionless person inside of 24 hours.

Now I know by the way she she used to look at me that see was falling for me or already had and I was too but then there was silence and when I asked if she was ok she said im sorry I'm just overwhelmed this week, then disappeared for 3 weeks and I thought I'd give her space to reach out to me but got worried and I texted her to see if she was ok and she replied " sorry for ignoring you it's not personal I've been ignoring everyone but you deserve someone ready for a commitment" ( which I never asked for).

Now even though I assumed it was just a break up and as a 35 year old I've been through enough to know this one didn't make sense, but I happened across this and other simular forums by accident (I've never been depressed before so can't possible imagine what you, others and possibly her) are going through.

My question is since it started 4 months ago and have actually broke up 3 months ago that she was hiding this dark passenger and we weren't together long enough to let me in when it happened? Am I just kidding myself? And do you think it's worth me holding on because I'm dating girls with one foot in and can't get her out of my head. Ps she did mention to a friend that once she's in a better head space in a few months ..who knows what can happen because he's the one I'd see myself settling down with.

Hi everyone.  I’ve always been an anxious person, and prone to sadness & feeling down at times.  I am going through menopause, and it might be hormonal, but I have been suffering with this same thing.  I desperately love my husband, and experienced that anxiety before we got married.  I had no idea what was going on, was terrified, but pushed through it because I knew I loved him.  I still felt like that for a while as a newlywed, but gradually things settled down.  But it was hellish at times.  So, the years go by, and I would have a little blip during a transition (buying a house).  But it never happened when we had a child, thank God.  Out of the blue, it came back about 1 1/2 years ago.  Totally out of the blue!!!  I was freaking out & terrified!  While frantically googling for answers & help, I stumbled upon Sheryl Paul, who specializes in Relationship Anxiety.  She is a Godsend!!  Her blogs are amazing & so comforting.  She offers courses to delve into where this anxiety is coming from & as long as there are no red flags (abuse, addiction, major value differences), the anxiety is NOT about your partner.  It is about you & the pain you are carrying around that you may not be aware of.  Your partner is the focus of your anxiety because love makes us feel vulnerable so it triggers, in many people, fear & uncertainty, which is totally normal.  So, have a look at her site.  It will really help you!

I just read through all of these comments and replies and I’ve never felt more at ease. Being able to relate to all of you is so helpful! I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 4 years ago and have had all of it under control for some time now. Recently, I began experiencing all my depression symptoms again. YAY. I tend to cry and have panic attacks randomly and several times a day when this happens. I notice that it takes place when I’m with my boyfriend because I feel so bad that I don’t seem to be enjoying anything anymore and I don’t want to push him away. He reassures me that this is not the case. I know I love him SO SO much and he’s part of my future. I just know it is depression and anxiety taking over and making me feel nothing. It truly sucks, but I know it is just a bad time for me and it should hopefully go away again. 

I made an account just to respond to you.

I currently am feeling the SAME EXACT WAY YOU DID. I swear I could've wrote this same post exactly.

I've been in this state of mind once before, and now it's back, happened the same way yours did. Anxiety and depression ABSOLUTELY causes this, it's normal.

The first time it took me about 4-6 months to fully heal. Hobbies and extra time to love on and cuddle your partner are what helped me. Therapy too.

Please, tell me how things turned out.