Can Depression/Anxiety make you think you don't love someone?

Hi Chantal, ive been feeling the exact same way! my boyfriend and i have currently broken up because of this, he has been so supportive and so undertanding through it all he wants me to find my feet again and then him and i will get back together. i know i love him deep down but these thoughts are eating me alive, ive convinced myself so much that i dont love him thats its hard to think that i do, i have none stopped called him, texting him all the time i cant stay away from him. i was wondering if anyone found help through medication ? i just want things to go back to how they were and for me to just feel normal again. someone please help me out. 

Hello, I hope this discussion is still active!

I’ve been suffering from bad anxiety and depression for the past 6 months, and low moods for past 2.5 years. In this time, I’ve had issues at work (bullying) my Nan passing away over the Christmas period and recently more bullying at work and my parents announcing their getting a divorce. 

Bullying at work is all sorted now and the person involved is moving on. But what I can’t get my head around is that I think I don’t love my boyfriend anymore and it’s easier to throw the towel in a RUN. I feel a burden to him and I feel he can do better than me. Thoughts go around and around in my head, I’ve been with him for two years..when I’m in a high mood I love him to the bone but when I’m low I don’t think I love him anymore, when I’ve gone to dump him a few times I’ve heaved so badly and I know that’s the wrong choice. I’ve been on Fluxotine 20mg for 3 weeks now which has helped a tiny bit but not the full effect. I’ve also started going to the gym this week too! Please someone tell me this phase will pass and the thoughts would stop to make me feel the love again with my boyfriend!! 

I'm going through the same thing that all of y'all are going to through . But I'm not gonna make this long . I have got help , I'm seeing a therapist and I'm also about to get on medication . I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend a month ago but I got back with her recently . Something just struck me , I do love her and I do want to be with her , even if I feel like I don't , I know I do . And I decided to get through this with her , she is very supportive and knows everything that I have told her about my problems , she's caring and she's with me every step of the way , once I got back with her it got a little easier (and I thought it would just get worse) the first two days we was back together I didn't feel bad at all , I was at peace , but of course it has came back , the thoughts of (do I love her ) or (is she the one ) hasn't came back , I trained myself to not think that because I have got closure that I actually do love her . Now I do think of things like (will we work out ) or (am I wasting her time ) and it has taken a tole on me . Whenever me and her make new memories or do something romantic that is usually when I get those feelings but I'm not gonna let it get to me anymore , at one point I was totally drained didn't want to do anything , all I did was wake up and cry even scream sometimes because I was so messed up , but now it's not like that , I find more excitement these days and love , but for 3 days straight the bad feelings came back but they are not as bad as they use to be . You have to tell yourself you can get through this , if you really do love this person then it will work out in the end , we all suffer from anxiety and you can't let it get to you . I know you have tried this before trying to tell your self you do love them and you do want this to work out but trust me , you have to be patient and so does your partner . It's gotten better now , and if they truly do care , and are helping you through this then you will get through it . We all will . Don't lose hope . I'm a perfect example . I felt horrible for two months ended my relationship but came back and got her back into my life . I have my bad moments and good moments and sometimes to I feel like I have no hope . But I never give up and that's what keeps me going 

I just don’t get it, I hang onto those thoughts and I think I believe them! My boyfriend gave me a break from seeing him for a week which helped, I didn’t feel so stressed and not relying on him so much., I missed him a little bit but I made myself go to the gym and do activities in the evening. I think I’ve talked myself out of this relationship which is sad really. I’m meant to be moving into his middle of April but I’m too scared to make that jump in case we don’t work out and I have to move out. I’m going through a really rough time at the moment due to Home/Work life 😢😢😢

Hey I know this is an old post but my partner is suffering with the feelings your feeling I just wanted to know did it get better or what happened. If be very grateful for any help right now xx

Hi

I think something wrong with my fella, we always been open with how we feel, every day we tell each other we love them, when we at work we text to say we love each other so you can imagine the shock I had when he comes home and says I don't love you . It's not working we are over ? . I know he been suffering few bedroom issues but he had surgery in July and he has high blood pressure and then told he got diabetes. So I understood

The lack of libido. When I questioned him he tells me it take him while to get over me because we adored each other and we were soul mates in every sense. I am confused as to why this is because if you don't love me, you would already be over me right ?? I have got some where to move on to and he seems very happy about this, but when I thanked him for letting me go if he doesn't love me . He gets upset and tells me he didn't want to drag me down as he feels a failure , I deserve better than what he is and what he can give. I have asked if he depressed but he says no.. I am about to move out . But I don't know if this is combination of all the meds getting to him making him feel tired( he sleeps a lot when not at work) or if he genuinely lost these feelings. Anyone who in this please advise as I am struggling to understand

Hi all

This has just happened to me and at loss of what to do

My partner of 11years told me a week ago he has fallen out of love with me. Big shock i didnt think anything was wrong. He moved out straight away leaving me and our 6yr old son. After thinking about things he had said at the time and next few days i knew it wasnt just this that was making him behave how he was, i suggested to him that maybe there was other things going on and that i felt he had some type of depression. He said he thought so aswell. He now wants space which i will give him although hard when he has to come and look after our son in the morning so i can work. I have told him to see a doctor and offered to go if he wants, there are a lot of other factors that i fink may have caused this depression but what i want to know is could it be the reason he feels like hes fallen out of love with me, i dont know what to do for the best and is still all very raw but have offered to be there for him if he needs me

Any advice would be grately appreciated as have no experience with depression

Thanks

This is going to be very very long, just a warning. Let me start by saying that I havent been diagnosed with rocd or any type of ocd. I do suffer from anxiety (GAD) though. so let me get started. I grew up with my parents fighting all the time, barely ever saw them happy together, they're still together though. (Background info) Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 and a 1/2 years we both fell in love. we were young 14 and 15 now 18 and 19. We always talk about the future together. Ive always been the jealous kind of gf i would obsess about him with another girl, I would dream about him cheating, I would get SO angry if he would look at another girl, every time he went out i thought he was going to see someone else. Def a lot of trust issues on my part. Tbh i thought I was bipolar at the time and i went through depression and came out. I would constantly think that if i were prettier he wouldn't look at other girls . I would think all day long about what I can do to make him like me and if i was good enough or not.Every decison i made i thought of him first to see if he'd approve. After researching I think I may have had relationship anxiety? fear of being unloved maybe? fear of him breaking up with me? Anyway I just started college this year. Ive been stressed about making the decison for my future and career. Through stressing about my future career my bf was the person i can talk to and feel good afterward. No matter what I was deciding to do I always thought about him in my life and how our lives would be together. We also just planned two trips together which i was totally excited for. (theyre our first trips together) One night about a month ago because of my stress about the future ,we had an argument ,he said some mean things and so did I.He was talking about setting boundaries because I was upset at him when he said he didnt think of me all day long (weird on my part ik) . we made up and everything was fine, I was giving him his space (even though i didnt want to ) and repeating to myself that we're two different people and that we both need our space. until a few days later all of a sudden I started thinking 'what if i dont love him?' ' is he the one' 'is he the right person for my future?' "can i see myself living with him?' etc etc etc. At first the thoughts broke my heart, I spent a week without eating much , crying, sleeping and hidden underneath my sheets trying to feel the love i had just a few days back for him. It's been a month now and Its still so painful , I'll wake up in the middle

Of the night and cry myself back to sleep. My whole history log on my computer are questions and articles that ive read about "falling out of love" or "ROCD" etc . Reading the articles gives me some temporary ease. unless theyre the "falling out of love articles" then ill start breathing really heavy and panicking. Ive talked to him about it and he says its just my thoughts and it'll go away (Hes used to it because i was always thinking he was cheating and it wasnt true at all) . When im with him he makes me laugh and smile and he calls me beautiful and tells me he loves me. Yes he has his flaws, hes stubborn, has a HUGE ego and doesnt care for feelings much. Ive been finding myself observing him and seeing if hes 'enough' for me to stay or not then when i catch myself doing it I get angry at myself. The last time I saw him (yesterday) I got really STRONG break up urges that I went as far as asking him his opinion on breaking up. While I was trying to get those words out I couldn't stop crying. Every time I see a picture of him now i feel uncomfortable and then i start crying because I feel guilty. Every time I see a baby I get tense because all I ever wanted with my bf was to have a family someday. Whenever I see an attractive guy I feel guilty. Im scared ill like someone else. Whenever another guy looks at me , i also feel guilty. Before the thought of having sex with another guy grossed me out (seriously) and now I feel as if im grading every attractive guy that passes me to see if maybe he'd be good to have sex with or be a good bf. I think it may be because Im looking for love and rn and My mind wont let me have that with my bf??? People are saying I'm getting curious or bored because I've only ever slept with my bf. BUT I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE ELSE BUT I FIND MYSELF THINKING ABOUT IT SO MUCH And then I feel sooooooo incredibly guilty. I feel like Ive lost myself. Now i Feel like im numb towards my bf. Everytime I get good thoughts about him I get contradicting negative thoughts. Every time i see another couple it makes me feel weird and again guilty. I find myself getting mad at him quickly when he says something i dont like. I also find myself comparing my relationship to everyones (something ive always done but this is different.) I just want all of this to go away. I want to be the girl that was madly in love with my bf. I want to feel love with him again. I dont want to feel guilty when he calls me beautiful or tells me he loves me anymore. I want the butterflies back before the guilt that If i say i love you back I might be lying. But thats the thing I dont know what this is. I dont know what to do. im confused. whenever i get anxiety my first response to it is to get rid of whatever is causing me the stress. i dont want my bf to be in that category. Im tired of feeling like im hurting him every time i think this way. The breakup urges. The thoughts that I dont love him. The werid turning feeling in my stomach. The fast beating heart every time I think of breaking up or him. The thoughts that Im young and need to explore. I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS STUFF THAT IM THINKING CAME FROM. THIS ISNT EVEN ME ANYMORE. IF YOU WERE TO ASK ME 1 MONTH AGO IF I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER GUY I WOULD PROBABLY MAKE A DISGUSTED FACE AND SAY NO WAY. IF YOU WERE TO ASK WHO I WANTED FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE I WOULDVE SAID MY BFS NAME. IF YOU WERE TO ASK IF I NEEDED TO EXPLORE OTHER GUYS I WOUDLVE HONESTLY PROBABLY LAUGHED. i feel sad. i feel numb. i need help. please help. I know that we are young btw but i've always wanted my love to last forever with him. I believe and so does he that we can make it thats why we've been together so long so young. We've been planning our futures since we were kids. We still are. And i still want it. I want it with him. even now when i see videos of happy couples getting engaged or having babies i see it with him and i want it with him in the future. but then i get the contradicting negative thoughts that say no you dont. I JUST NEED ALL OF THESE THOUGHTS AND PAIN TO GO AWAY. I WANT THE FEELINGS BACK, I WANT THEM BACK AND STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE. i want to accept his flaws instead of measuring them. i want to accept his love without feeling guilty. i just want what i had back... any advice? anything? strategies? etc . Anything at this point sad 

PS people are saying the horrible stomach turning feeling is a gut feeling that we shouldn't be together but how when I want it to go away soooo badly and start crying when I get it 😥

Look I figured out why all of us feel this way and have felt this way , it's depression , something happened to you that made you this way and it slowly took ahold of you , I've researched and I've studied , depression makes you think your out of control , and you can't find joy in a lot of things , if you can't find joy in something you like , like one of your hobbies , or even things you use to do , then that means that you are depressed , which means you can no longer find joy with your partner , if your partner truly loves you , cares for you and helps you , then that means that there is no red flags and they are good for you , you have to beat this depression and fear find help , talk about it with your partner. If you know you love them then you do even if you can't feel it , depression knocks these feelings away , there's hope for all of you . 

Hiya, i really hope there are still some active people on this discussion! i don’t really want to explain everything fully, but i’m having the exact same thing as almost every person on here. Basically, I started the pill about 2 and a half weeks ago and stopped taking it a few days ago due to various reasons. Is that long enough for the hormones to be affecting me? Because i really feel like they are but i’m worried that i’m not in the same situation as other people, is it still likely that the hormones have affected me enough for this to be happening? Bearing in mind i’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and have always been very deeply in love with him. Any replies would be really appreciated, thank you!

Hi all, this has given me great comfort in reading all these posts. I have been with my partner for almost 6 years and he suffers with depression. About 4 years ago he had a melt down and we did get through that, he said he felt numb and low but we stayed together and soldiered on. We have had the best relationship I could describe and we are so perfect together, however a few months ago I started to notice he was edgy and snappy at small things, last week I asked him if he was still happy and he admitted the depression has returned, this time he’s said he doesn’t know how he feels anymore and I’m absolutely broken 💔  he admitted he’d stopped taking his medication in December as he said he didn’t want to be on anti depressants anymore, He said he weaned off them, after much persuasion he agreed to go back on them and also go to see his G.P. he moved out on Wednesday as we agreed he needed head space, we spoke on the phone and via text and it was comforting for both of us. On Saturday he wanted us to see each other so I agreed (far too early I now know) we Had an amazing night and didn’t discuss anything, he was completely at ease and stayed the night! On the Sunday I could tell he was anxious and so was I which wasn’t helping either of us, he decided he was going back home and got slightly upset and asked what we’re going to do if his feelings don’t return, I told him we’re trying to do the right thing by having space and what’s meant to be will be but I’m here as I love this man with all my being. 

He now tells me he thinks he doesn’t love me anymore, I haven’t spoke to him since yesterday at all and it’s breaking me apart. I have 3 children and he took them on and was a Fantastic step parent but he also says he doesn’t know if he took too much on with me and my girls, when we talk he constantly says how he’s suffering and how he’ll have nothing if he lets me go. I pray with all my being it’s the depression talking, he’s questioning wether he’s depressed because he doesn’t love me or talking this way because he’s depressed, he more or less said I’m an added pressure to sorting his head out, he was the most caring considerate human being befor all this. I am trying my best to be strong for my kids but I’m torn so badly. Broken hearts really do suck! 😢