Can Depression/Anxiety make you think you don't love someone?

Hi everyone, 

Finally nice to hear that im not the only one going through this s**t. I'm 11 months into my relationship with my girlfriend, however can't feel love for her anymore like many of you have already described. Every time the feeling of love should be there it's replaced with a horrible sense of a block in emotion, and I get this weird knot in my stomach that makes me bloated. In the first month of our relationship I was madly in love with my gf, and so was she with me. I was acc obsessed with her and couldn't believe we were together. It was honestly blissful. After a month however, we had quite a bad argument as I brought up the fact that she was still talking to the guy who asked her out 2 weeks before me. I think it was that argument that brought on obsessive thoughts which eventually drove me to ask for a break 4-5 months in as spending time with her made me overthink like crazy and left me feeling depressed, confused and very anxious. I'd constantly have thought like "do I love her" and started to criticise her over tiny things (in my head not in person). It got to the point where I had to force smiles and laughs and couldn't be myself at all around her as I was in a state of constant anxiety. During the break we took (which ended up lasting 3 days) I realised that deep down I really loved her and missed her, and I ended up asking her whether we could get back together as I was feeling better. However the feelings soon came back, and since then it's been 6 months of the same feeling. However I haven't lost hope as I've slowly learnt that if I truly didn't love her then I wouldn't have missed her when we took a break and I also wouldn't be writing on this forum for help. I'm now aware that this feeling of not being able to feel love comes from anxiety and depression and thoughts about whether I love her have less meaning. The next step for me is to see a psychiatrist like many people have done. I think that once I sort out my anxiety and depression then this horrible feeling will finally get off my fkin shoulders cause it's p*****g me off now. It's got to the point where I'm acc kinda tired of feeling like this but I guess that's a good thing cause I'm not getting so taken over by thoughts. 

Also I've noticed a pattern on this thread... it seems like most people here found a partner that they love a lot and are close to, and had an amazing start to their relationship, but had an argument with their partner which somehow brought on obssesive thoughts about their relationship. 

I’m currently feeling the same as you are 😞 I was wondering how things have turned out

Hi Chantal, I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through. I suffer from depression and anxiety due to ill health and being off work. I have Kobe through exactly the same as you. 

I felt strange when I was near or with my boyfriend and did not understand why. I had been off work for around 2 months and have suffered with ill health for years, I am only 24 so it has been hard to digest. 

I started to feel down and not as affectionate and even cried after intercourse. I felt we were losing our spark and blamed him for how I was feeling. I felt like we were no longer compatible. I told him as I cried that I felt things were not right anymore but I knew I loved him. 

I went to my doctor about this  as I felt it was very strange: how could I just stop feeling for him? Why did I question if I loved him? Why did I hesitate to kiss him? 

She told me she believed that I had depression and anxiety and that they were the reason I felt this way. I felt like my relationship wasn’t doomed for 3 months I mourned our relationship in my head. Although we were still ‘ together’ , I did not have the energy to put into conversation or to be affectionate. I knew I wanted him but felt that it was all too much. 

Since I started medication and began going to counselling I have seen a massive change. The past week or two have been amazing. I feel that we are in our honeymoon period again. I cannot believe it. I thought he issue was him but it was not. The more I went out with my friends, spent time alone, spent time keeping busy, the more I began to become myself again. 

Looking back I am so relieved that he has stuck by me through all of this, he even knows that I questioned if I still loved him and found him attractive which is a horrible thing. But eveything, somehow has come back. It comes back in a way you don’t even expect! 

I hope this has given you some hope for the future. The over thinking nearly destroyed us but you can fight this? 

Hi Chantal, I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through. I suffer from depression and anxiety due to ill health and being off work. I have been through exactly the same as you. 

I felt strange when I was near or with my boyfriend and did not understand why. I had been off work for around 2 months and have suffered with ill health for years, I am only 24 so it has been hard to digest. 

I started to feel down and not as affectionate and even cried after intercourse. I felt we were losing our spark and blamed him for how I was feeling. I felt like we were no longer compatible. I told him as I cried that I felt things were not right anymore but I knew I loved him. 

I went to my doctor about this  as I felt it was very strange: how could I just stop feeling for him? Why did I question if I loved him? Why did I hesitate to kiss him? 

She told me she believed that I had depression and anxiety and that they were the reason I felt this way. I felt like my relationship wasn doomed for 3 months, I mourned our relationship in my head. Although we were still ‘ together’ , I did not have the energy to put into conversation or to be affectionate. I knew I wanted him but felt that it was all too much. 

Since I started medication and began going to counselling I have seen a massive change. The past week or two have been amazing. I feel that we are in our honeymoon period again. I cannot believe it. I thought he issue was him but it was not. The more I went out with my friends, spent time alone, spent time keeping busy, the more I began to become myself again. 

Looking back I am so relieved that he has stuck by me through all of this, he even knows that I questioned if I still loved him and found him attractive which is a horrible thing. But eveything, somehow has come back. It comes back in a way you don’t even expect! 

I hope this has given you some hope for the future. The over thinking nearly destroyed us but you can fight this!! 

Hi Chantal and everyone, I’m so grateful to have found this forum. I am at the receiving end of this problem. My boyfriend has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since he was much much younger. We have had a beautiful loving relationship for the past 1.5 years and it got stronger until one day he had a meltdown out of nowhere telling me that he doesn’t feel love anymore. He’s trying to maintain the relationship because he told me he’s really scared of losing me and he knows that he would regret ever breaking up with me. I just need to see if things will ever go back to the way it was. He told me that he doesn’t want to make me think that he’s stringing me out and that he only wants to make me happy. He also told me that he knows that he can’t be putting me in this situation for too long. I’m trying my best to be understanding and trust that he’s not trying to play some crazy mind games with me. He’s hurting and my heart is breaking because there is nothing I can do to help him feel better. I love him so very much and he did too. He always looked at me like it was the first time he saw me. I wish I can turn back time to when everything was fine. When we can freely express how much we love each other at all times. I hope everyone finds their happiness back. If it wasn’t special, none of us would be here looking for answers.