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Can't stop drinking

Posted , 33 users are following.

YLT
YLT

Hi. I've been drinking since I was 14. I'm now 39. For most of that time I've been a binge drinker. Often, like 2 or 3 times a month, drinking till I can't remember how I got home or what I was saying or doing. Now I drink most nights. Not loads every night but I do think about drinking  most days and look forward to the next time I can get melted.

Recently it's been affecting my relationship. My girlfriend has warned me that my drinking could be the end of our relationship. I love her more than anything but still I can't stop drinking. Sometimes I lie about what I've drunk or I hide empty bottles from her. I've  promised myself I'll cut down or I'll just have a couple instead of loads, but it never works.

I think it's now the time to stop all together but I'm not sure I can. I have a lot of good friends but socialising with them usually involves a night in the pub and I don't think I could do that without getting drunk.

I've also been trying to stop smoking for about 10 years and haven't really managed that either! I think I have an addictive personality and not sure what to try next. 

13 likes, 95 replies

95 Replies

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  • GTAndy77
    GTAndy77 YLT

    Posted

    First time on here first msg nice to know I'm not alone, i stopped drinking for 3 years but achieved nothing as I replaced it with weed, one for the other and quitting weed was horrible now that's done my drinking is on the up again what do I do? I feel like I can't live life with nothing 
  • alison_frances
    alison_frances YLT

    Posted

    I'm not sure if I can comment on this as I'm the girlfriend of a drinker? I moved my daughter and myself in with a drinker (I knew he drank) and I drink also. But his drinking was horrible, binge drinking for days, not going to work, abusive, violent (smashing things not hitting me or my daughter). After a few years and one more drunk weekend, I left him and ended up homeless for 2 months living in a B & B and then family. I finally got my own flat, but I am still in contact with him. He stopped drinking nearly two months ago and now thinks everything will be ok. BUT I dont trust him. I love him and want to be with him and move back to the house we were making a home together, but can you ever really stop drinking on your own with no professional help? I just wondered how YLT and the others who commented on this page are doing. Can you really trust someone who has behaved and treated you so badly again.
    • tembel
      tembel alison_frances

      Posted

      If he is being honest with you and more importantly honest with himself, if you still really love him and he loves you, take it slow, dont just move back in, but check out true intentions more carefully.  I think you will know when/ if the time is ready.  What is important for you is not putting your daughter in a situation which will negativey affect her.  If he has truly stopped, I know that people say you shouldnt have to but make it a dry house, dry relationship, a good precendent for your daughter too. just my thoughts, however, I cant answer your main question because, hey, I am the drinker with the problem in my marriage and I am the womansmile

    • alison_frances
      alison_frances tembel

      Posted

      Thanks for that, it's so hard and my daughter is now my priority. Trouble is I enjoy drinking and probably drink too much as well but I ain't horrible with it......I know the only way to live together again is a dry house, but I'm not sure that 'I' want a life of no alcohol, that sounds selfish I know but why should I stop something I enjoy because he can't. Oh well I'm sure it will sort itself out one way or another. Take care 😀
  • jamie_44327
    jamie_44327 YLT

    Posted

    i m also 39 and started when 18, my problem has been more to do with secret drinking i am happily married and my wife also drinks but in a different way, i think what i want to share here is that my issue was that i have always purchased drink and hidden it; for example drunk it when cooking tea whilst she is in the living room, got 2 bottles but pretended there was 1, drank it quickly from the bottle; that is a bottle white wine in approx 35 min, then share a red.   Purpose of me saying this is that recently i decided to be more open and say - i just fancy a drink, not hide it and i think  / hope that this will actually help me reduce the urge, helpme drink less and be more social, it has not been easy though
  • YLT
    YLT

    Posted

    Well, I got to day 286 then blew it. Had a tough Sunday with my kids stressing me out and went on a solo bender. Pubs, then a carry out then more pubs. Woke up vomiting and with my head splitting in pain. Forgot how awful hangovers are. I’ve reset my counter, which was so depressing. Back to the start. Day 4. 
  • tom95274
    tom95274 YLT

    Posted

    I personally have been where you are at(as of writing this post and beyond). Alcoholism is no joke and if you have the disease you are in mortal danger. From what I have read I would classify you as an alcoholic like me. There are all different types...the main thing is that we cannot stop drinking when we want to. Me being 23 years old; have been through more than I personally can bear. It's not about your story but if you are ready I implore you to attend an AA meeting and pick up a Sponsor. They will do most of the work for you and you will soon be living a life you couldn't imagine. Without alcohol everything can be achieved. I hope this reaches you in time brother.
  • juanfo
    juanfo YLT

    Posted

    I just finished reading the entire thread and immediately registered. Some parts I cringed from the despair. Tears running down my face. I am 32 and have been drinking for 13 years. Last night I had 20 beers and a half bottle of Jack. This happens about every other week.

    I am came home at dawn to find my wife crying in our bedroom. She yelled: get out! My 3 y/o son was asleep in his little bed. I share a house with them but they might as well be abandoned. I miss them so much.

    I am so alone. No one wants to hear my sorry excuses and empty promises anymore. Please help me.

    One day at a time right...

     

    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 juanfo

      Posted

      You have a physical illness and need medical treatment, Juanfo. Firstly, you need a detox to enable you to stop drinking safely (withdrawal from alcohol can be extremely dangerous). Then you need to decide what to do after that few days of detoxing. Traditionally, total abstinence has been the only choice but now there is a treatment method called The Sinclair Method which you MAY be able to take advantage of, depending on the condition of your liver. That method allows you to take medication which controls your drinking and keeps it down to less harmful levels.

      If your wife wants to hear what an alcohol problem really is (that is not a behaviour choice but a medical complaint which nobody chooses) I am happy to talk to her on the phone and explain things.

      Do some reading online about The Sinclair Method. I would recommend the C Three Europe website.

    • juanfo
      juanfo PaulJTurner1964

      Posted

      Thanks a lot Paul for your quick reply. I was really on the edge. It feels good to know there is someone out there. I was really staring in the dark this morning.

      I read up on the website you recomended. It looks interesting but not for me. I was going to AA last year but stopped. It was not a good group. Bunch of bitter old deadbeats beating me down saying I was not drunk enough to be there just because I have never been homeless.

    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 juanfo

      Posted

      You say 'not for you' about The Sinclair Method. Is that because you feel that total abstinence is what you want to achieve? You can also do that with The Sinclair Method. It is nothing like AA, it is a physical treatment not a psychological one. And it works. 78% success rate, compared to less than 10% for any other treatment method.

      Whatever you decide to do to STAY off the drink or control it, the amount you are drinking means that you must do a detox initially.

      You will find many people on this forum to support you, many of whom are going through similar issues to you.

    • juanfo
      juanfo PaulJTurner1964

      Posted

      I would like to try it. I'm ready to try anything. There is just a geographical barrier as I'm on the other side of the planet(the dark side).

      I want to get out. I can stay clean and sober 99.99% of the time. Then seemingly out of nowhere randomnly snap and lose it.

       

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