Another symptom?

I went to the doctors and she confirmed I was probably experiencing peri menopause. I could have told her that, but to be fair to her she gave me all info on my options from a medical point of view. As she was in her twenties I did want to tell her to enjoy life now as it doesn't get better when you are older!!!

I've had various symptoms so far, as you all will have done and anxiety, fuzzy head, memory loss, loss of hair, sprouting of hair where I've never had it before, dry skin, crying uncontrollably, wanting to rip someone's head off, hot flushes (one today when visiting a potential new customer), lack of patience, bad skin, lack of energy, weight gain and wanting to eat like a horse are just a few. But do you know what?

I'm buggered if it is going to take me over and control me. And that has truly been the scary thing for me. The lack of control over my body. I've always been a woman in control, in charge and not to be over come by something. But for a while I lost it. I truly lost control and became someone I didn't recognise.

But Bobbins, I can tell you we can do it. I've decided not to go down the hrt route even though I was offered it. I'm not keen pumping drugs into myself at the moment for the symptoms only to return later.  So I'm taking a combo menopause vitamin thing, b6 100mg, sage leaf and something to combat osteoporosis.  I've learnt to recognise when my moods are coming, do breathing exercises when anxiety starts, talk to myself in my head when I want to cry and/or snap at someone, take myself off when I feel I can't cope and fling the covers off in the night when I feel the heat and sweat start. All these things I tell people about, laugh about, make light of it and then listen and swap stories with others about it. Those women of a certain age understand, those younger women think you are slightly potty and eggerating, and the men either laugh nervously or ignore you and move onto talking about sport or DIY.

But it works for me at the moment.  You just need to break things down and work out how you can tackle with your symptoms. You can I promise. Take each one and come up with something to take charge of it. 

I hope one my waffle has helped, if it hasn't feel free to come back and rant at me anytime when things feel bad 😀

This is a new era for us ladies who deal with these menopause symptoms we can not rush our body, we have to give our body time to adjust and yes we will get back to normal no i don't know when but we will. 

Just try to do some meditation and relaxation and take it easy. Take a break from doing stuff and stay home and have a sick day all to yourself and just cry it all out you will probably feel better in the long run. 

I will pray for you and i hope you get better soon 

Family history - my maternal aunt had breast cancer, never took hrt, but had an unhealthy lifestyle.  She survived the breast cancer.  I would never let that prevent me from having a healthy life.  One in four menopausal women die from heart disease because they don't have the protection of oestrogen for their heart.

There are too many myths surrounding hrt, drs having personal biases and pass this on to their patients, not keeping up with the latest on hrt, doling out crappy hrt so that it fails.

Then they quite happily dole out psych, pain, antidepressent, etc. medication instead.

Do the research yourselves, real medical research, not blogs and read the whole paper to see under what circumstances that the study was carried out - don't just go by the end result.

Some of us never stop menopausing - our bodies need the oestrogen, which is a natural part of our bodies.

I have been on it for 25 years, and will never go off it, we don't have to - so strike that myth.  Family history of breast cancer - strike that myth.  Besides they now know that breast cancer and ovarian cancer are linked.  The medical profession now say to get rid of your ovaries and go on hrt if you are worried about breast cancer.

I have also had a dangerous cancerous tumour removed with my parotid gland - not caused by hrt and there was not even one mention of not using hrt anymore.  Maybe it was caused by the oestrogen starvation for 6 years prior to that - who knows?  The oestrogen starvation was caused by an undiagnosed prolactin tumour on my pituitary gland.  Again not caused by hrt, and not one hint of not taking hrt because of it.  In fact, I needed it all the more.

I have had prolonged periods of oestrogen starvation because of incompetent drs (one 6 years), so I know what it is like, and I am never going there again.  I have become assertive, knowing that drs are not demi gods, they are not infallible and don't know enough about anything.  So I have to depend on myself.

You know I got so tired of hearing all these self imposed menopause woes that I unfollowed 'menopause', but somehow I was relinked.  No one seems to learn anything and move forward, it is so repetitive.  Wallowing in menopause is not the way to live - unless you like it that way.  I know I don't - I want to keep healthy, happy and married.

I know exactly what you are going through. I have been on this roller coaster for about 12 years.  It started at the age of 38.  My periods have started to space out over the past 3 years which have been the worst time for me.  i have just gone 5 months without a period and low and be hold one turns up yesterday. The last 20 days have been full of anxiety, depression, no sleep, crying and just wanting to not be here.  Today the hold had lessened and I was able to get around with much more freedom. It's just crazy that one week you want to die and then the following your starting to plan for things ahead.  I have periods of feeling just okay and then "WHAM" it hits me again.  I have lost so much confidence in my life and in my body.  It really is a day to day thing at the moment.  I find it so hard to plan ahead.  I have ativan to take on really bad days which my doctor is okay with.   It's a very very low dose and she trusts me to be sensible with it. 

She told me today that due to me having a period yesterday I'm not estrogen deficient and most likely estrogen dominant. She said at this stage my progesterone levels are decreasing and my estrogen levels are spiking all over the place which are causing all the symptoms. Apparently some woman can't handle these fluctuating hormones.   She said if I was to take HRT it would make my estrogen more dominant and my symptoms would be worse.  She doesn't seem to be able to give me any ideas of how to balance these hormones. She said once they both bottom out I should be standing on stable grounds. Once my blood tests show that i'm in full menopause she will be happy to prescribe bio-identical natrual hormones.  I'm praying that this is my last period and once my hormones become more balanced i will feel like a new woman.  My sister was very similiar and she has been well since her periods stopped. 

I have spent 12 years trying everything to try and balance out these fluctuations.  I have kept diaries and sometimes I read back over some very bad times and I wonder how I'm still here.  The times that I'm well I really cherish and thank whoever for the bliss.  I sometimes don't think there is a God becuase how could he put me bloody through this for so long.

The only thing keeping me strong is the fact that this will all be over some day and I'll be able to live the life I was supposed to live.  I have a very supportive husband who has been my rock.  I'm sure his mental health has been affected seeing me suffer so much.  When I'm through this we are going to start "Living the dream"

Love, hugs, better days and smiles to you all.

xxxx