Depressed,Alone and A Phobia of Doctors

Hi, I haven't been on here the last couple of days because I've not been able to sleep, at all. I've hardly slept for a week now. I have so much on my mind and no sleep makes everything so much worse

hiya rachel

im sorry but this cant go on you must seek help, somethings gonna give if you carry on like this rachel

have you looked at the book we mentioned, have you e-mailed the Samaritans, tried the 'mind website etc, you have to act and make a start at tackling your problems, dwelling on them wont help one little bit, how long ago did the depression/anxiety start, have you had treatment for it in the past ??

you have to put your feelings aside and start confiding in somebody, ANYBODY

sorry if i sound like im bullying you but you must act and the sooner the better, im sure that deep down you know you must get outside help one way or another :[

cheers, keep talking,

Ken ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi Ken, I know you're right, I'm just a wreck at the moment. My heart has been thumping, I've never had that before, its been quite scary. I feel guilt because I haven't looked at the book yet, I've been quite rough. I did manage to email NAPAC, which is a huge thing for me, and now I have to wait for a reply. They apparently counsel by email, which I would feel safer with. I've never had any treatment. All my life I had blocked it all out and a few months ago it all just hit me hard... Its so difficult, I've felt like giving up this week. I'm so tired. Thanks for thinking of me Ken.

Rachel

Ken is right, you have to do something. Doesn't your husband realise you are not well? My partner did when I was bad and he contacted my parents the first time I had a major breakdown. He had tried to get me help but in the end he resorted to my parents as a last resort.

Please, please tell your husband, Maybe he is afraid of discussing it with you as he doesn't know how to cope. Depression does not only affect the sufferer it impacts on the people around you.

I am thinking of you and hope you get some rest.

Justina

Hi Justina, sorry Im so late in replying. I really wish my husband was more like yours... I married quite young, ..too young.... He actually asked me today if i was left or right handed.. I dont think he will notice how much my hands shake or that ive had no sleep... He doesnt care for people who cant get over their past and especially anything to do with depression. Its why Ive never told him about anything....

Hi Rachel, not goin go on im not in very good place myself at mo just wanted 2 say u do need get help with depression things change so quickly.

Take care, thonkin of u.

U not on own.x

Hi Shadow, I hope youre ok... I know its the anniversary soon x I will try.... Take care of yourself xxxxx

Shadow and Rachel, you both need to get help becasue you owe it to yourselves. Life is rubbish at times, Its only a few months back I was in the same situation and I feklt I was the only one who has ever felt the deep hurt that I felt, I believed no one was worse than me, and that no one understood me BUt I now know that we are no alone, we are just ill and neeed treatemnt at that time but someone has to make first move. Life is precious - Shadow, who woudl miss you the most if you gave up now? Would you leave anyone feelingliek you do now ? WOuld your best friend be pleased that you felt you had to give up too?

Shadow, if you cant turn to your husband, turn to someone that you can walk away form. Thats why I turned to the email samaritans- I had control, if I didnt like what they said, I coudl walk away. But I didnt until I didnt need them any more. There were there for me, they understood my situation, they gave me options? they made me think, they actually got me through a time when I didnt think I coudl. Yes you will think like I did, but I am worse than you, but I wasnt- I wanted to finish my life, it was all too hard, there was no point, BUT I am now 6 months down the road, and I am so glad I got that helo because now I can make a difference and Yes, I have depression which hits hard some days BUT the other days are fine. Yes I have to take medication BUT hey whats a few tablets !! Once you get the support and treatment you need as you have a chronic illness, life will start to look up again and you WILL get better. You are not thinking straight atm so you have to trust others to do the sensible thinking for you until your mind is better. Keep talking and contact jo@samaritains. You will both get there xxx

I agree with Coggy. The trouble with depression is that there seems to be a stigma attached to it becasue it is a "mental health" issue.

Today I feel a bit low and yesterday I felt O.K. Its swings and roundabouts with this illness. You are ill Rachel, just because you don't have something like flu or something like a broken leg doesn't mean your not well.

Coggy did you sat you had just email contact with the samaritans?? That's what I need. Just email. I could do that. I di send a msg to napac but haven't heard anything yet.

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Justina that's exactly how I am - ok ish some days, very bad most days

Ken I've had a look at the book now. I will definitely buy it as soon as I am able to. Thanks for bossing me!! x

Hi Rachel,

Yes email jo@samaritains.org - they get back within 12 hrs and they always did - in fact at night they often got back sooner - they were my total lifeline at that point - and just to let you know, my husband didnt know how bad I was at all - since then I have told him and he was totally shocked! We can hide so much if we want to but actually letting it out (to somneone - not nec the closest person to you), does help . Take Rachelxxx

Rachel because I emailed you the smaritains email, it has to be moderated before it gets put up - dont know how long that will take - go to samaritains website and look for email contact - its at bottom soemwhere and starts jo at samaritains at org

dot org even!

Rachel glad you have had a look for the book and thinking of getting it. You could try your local library as well, just a thought.

Fingers crossed you get to start reading soon and trying the exercises.