Disabled, has this "disabled" your self worth?

That looks like you might also be deabled by fear. The high profile given by public servants to warning against abusive behaviour has come with great rapidity to be a cloak for laziness, inefficiency and uncorrected error. Any display of distress by the 'client' is taken as abuse and your record marked as abusive without notice or possibility of redress. A downward spiral to disaster becomes all too likely. All that, it seems, are added to a situation and condition that is very trying indeed as well as very restricting as to the work and recreations that may be undertaken.

Are there any champions who may strive on your behalf to minimise the impact your disabilities have on your enjoyment and fruitfulness of life?

Your name shows your spunk!  I love it, sky blue with a lining of pink!  At least that's how I see it.

I cannot agree with George enough.  Just because they are the "professionals" we must accept whatever happens or what tests they ask for (and yes, oftentimes at our expense).  The fact that Doc pointed out laziness, inefficiency and uncorrected error, words that cannot express enough how I feel. 

Doc, again, thank you for your wise,wonderful and willful determination to help and enlighten all of us!

Frustrated XxoO!!

 I'm thinking angry.

Anyway, never be sorry for stating your feelings, please.  I'm not a fragile person and can handle most everything, however, ignorance, has no merit in my book!   Today, there is no reason anyone should be ignorant about the disabled.

Okay, I'm off on another one of my tangents but thank you for your post.

I'm still on the mend from an awful weekend long stint of vomiting and nauseated.  I'll be fine soon enough and will most definitely get to your important discussion on Dystopia and Totalitarianism.  That requires much thought and I'd like to really totally understand how I'm actually feeling about both.

Again, thank you for your post

Frustrated

When you are riding in a wheelchair how do you like being treated? I don't mean with politeness and consideration. What do you like in terms of the nitty gritty of human interplay. For a starters ( to show how my mind is working ) eye contact ?

You're welcome!   There is one good thing we have over here in the UK in CineWorld cinemas which are special rooms that can be booked online. Basically, they are rooms above the standard seating areas where there are 2 seats plus room for 1 wheelchair. You get treated liike royalty if you book one, because a person with a key to the Lift to that level is required.

Everyone else is below you, and you have the best seats in the house! lol At least no one can sit in front of you, or block your view in anyway. The good thing is the seats are the same price!

One thing that really bugs my wife and I is people have no respect to people that hold Blue Badges. Not sure if this system is in place in the US though. People with a Blue Badge can park right outside supermarket exits and entrances, also park on double yellow lines on roads, etc. For that we have to pay around £15 for 3 yrears, so you would think normal people would abide by the laws of the EU not to park in these areas.

The other week a large BMW was parked length ways across disabled 3 parking bays. They didn't even use the store just a dam ATM cash dispenser machine on a wall....grrrrr Makes you feel like popping their tyres! lol

Regards,

Les.

I noticed people mentioned where I went the other week - well I was having more bad days than usual and my son asked if I could teach him how to put up a forum for him on the internet, so I did that. It is not that difficult really, at least it has no dam Google Ads on it.

So in the past few days I been doing some abstract images. I wiill show you what I have done, one effect is called 'Dispersion' which was used in the recent movie called 'Lucy' where she starts to fall apart in small parts, it's not gory or anything like that... it's a movie effect that's been around for awhile now, I think the first time I seen it used was in 'Transformers' so it quite old, but more advanced these days.

Regards,

Les.

TBH George I hate it when my wife takes me down a kerbstone, I always get the feeling she's gonna drop me!!!  She always the same she says "Don't panic" lol

George this may sound strange, but I feel more at home when going to hospital appointments. Maybe it is because there is many people like myself, attending similar appointments.

As regards for towns we dont use them all, we do all oiur shopping online, it saves us time and going around aisles would be a nightmare. I was the time of guy that would just go in get what I needed, pay and out the door. I hate queues, stuck in aisles or even worse stuck at those checkouts.

TBH George, I don't make much eye contact, I wear bi-focals all the time. I am more now in what I'[m buying that looking at people. Outdoors is another matter, you might get the odd smile here and there if you're  lucky. You do find the odd one that is interested in what is wrong with you, once I tell them they normally say "that just went straight over my head". lol  It's mainly because many people think the same and that is I have MS, which is totally different.

The UK gov't which at the moment is David Cameron and his idiots of a party Conservatives. He stated he wins the next general election then he will be Taxing Disability Living Alloiwance, bearing in mind he's said all benefits will be dropped by 1% and frozen for 2 years.

This country is becoming worse all the time, he's already been classed as the worse Prime Minister in UK history!!

Regards,

Les.

Has then the emphasis during the last 40 to 50 years on disability set people's thinking in the wrong way? What we should be doing is to treat EVERYONE with politeness, kindness and consideration. What do you say Les?

You are welcome, and it is very true that you feel alienated as a disabled person. Ironically, if we go down the shops which are local, it’s a total different atmosphere. Usually, it is about 3 staff – but they go out of their way to help you.

One example is delivery charge from a supermarket where you order online for next day delivery, cost varies from £3.00 to £6.00. Now our local shops, even though we have a car, which is leased through a Gov’t funded fleet lease, they still offer to bring your shopping to your door and do not charge us anything. So basically the supermarkets charge extortionate fees for delivery and our local shops do not. With the local shops we can phone orders through and pay cash on delivery.

In the aforementioned, I said about a Fleet Lease of Vehicles. I am not sure how your gov’t works in the USA, probably something similar. Over here you can claim a non-means tested benefit called Disability Living Allowance. This allowance is broken down to 2 core components which are Mobility and Care components, these are broken down further depending on disability. If you receive DLA on the Mobility High Rate, you can give this up to Motability Finance, which is a huge body in the UK, which allows you to go to virtually any dealer in the UK and choose a car, which you lease on the Motability Hire Scheme. Depending on the car make, model and engine size does make a difference on which cars you can choose from. If you choose a model that is just outside the range but would suit you better in the long run, you can request for a deposit to be paid by Motability Funding, you can also pay extra on delivery of your vehicle for a model higher up the range. Most people tend to go for the lower range models, in which case they do not need to pay all of their Mobility High Component out, so they receive whatever is the difference paid back to them. This normally happens with the SMART cars, or where people do not require a large family car.

We have found over the years, it is not the best option to take an entry level vehicle. Every time I am in the car, we have to carry 3 walking aids depending on where we are going, usually a wheelchair, quad-walker and a quad-walking stick (this tends to cause me more pain than its worth). We had to pay upfront a fee of £499.00 for our car, but its bigger than your standard car, it’s a 4 x 4 Mitsubushi ASX4 with an on the road value of around £22,000+ – we don’t buy petrol cars, only diesel which seem better on long journey’s.

Motability Finance make sure the customer is always first, we are covered for any breakdowns, insurance is paid and so is all servicing, 2 sets of tyres and road tax is all paid. There is a good incentive as well, if you return your car back at the end of the 3 year lease, Motability gives you a £250.00 cheque.

 I like your last question “What we should be doing is to treat EVERYONE with politeness, kindness and consideration. What do you say Les?” – place them all in the same room and bang their heads together! Lol - TBH George, I can never see this happening, okay there are people out there that do go out of their way to help you, but on the other hand you’ve got others that look down on you, as if you shouldn’t be around – that’s a feeling I see more often these days compared to the 80’s onwards. I would like to see how “Frustrated” view on this, and whether it is the same in the USA.

George this part of your post is interesting - “As far as I can see the ONLY essential difference between us might be that you are sitting and I am standing.” I see that would be quite right, but I think it stems back to when disabled people were discriminated by employers – even these days there are places where you feel you’re not welcome

“Has then the emphasis during the last 40 to 50 years on disability set people's thinking in the wrong way?” – I was thinking about this while having breakfast, it was ironic really because I hadn’t seen your post until after. Considering I’m 51 in December this year, I can see where you are coming from. I used to see many disabled people, because my mother used to volunteer at a local center for people with learning difficulties. Back then I was young, and used to think to myself, “I wonder what’s life would be like if I was born with problems or been involved in a serious accident?” – But one thing I not anticipate was that actually happening to me in my early 20’s. It was something that even now, I remember like it was yesterday.

The stupid part about all of this is we are all the same underneath, whether you’re disabled or not – yet people still do not understand, either through they are not sure how to approach you, or have problems trying to hold a conversation, in the UK there is plenty of people like that.

Regards,

Les.

I'm happy you saw the "pun" it was intended!  Glad I could give you a chuckle as it did me while writing so!  No, he'd never "push" me around because he is a gentleman and I wouldn't accept anymore from him!

  :D

Frustrated

In the US, there are different disability issues as far as car etc.  I was in an auto accident the other's fault but since we are a NO-fault nation, I collect from MY insurance.  However, their insurance had to pay a settlement before any of this went through and that was for a "civil suit" as my civil rights were messed with.  All that legal jargon I just allow my laywers to handle.  I am entitled by law to anything I need physically and MY insurance company has to pay it.  They are always on the downlow with this.  "we need a doctor's note, we need you to see one of OUR IMEs (who assess the person's disability usually for the insurances favor so they don't have to pay) however, because of my situation, they pay for life, so it's just an inconvience of them asking for all this paperwork because in the end, I'll get what I need but it just may take some time and arguing and going to court (again).  They count on people getting upset and just tossing the towel and dropping it.  I cannot afford to do this so I have laywers for life (so to speak).  I need a scooter as my husband's shoulder is really messed up and cannot always push me in a wheelchair, plus the scooter will give me some independence.  I know the one I'm getting is going to need a hoist and I know I'm going to have to fight for it.  They "hope" I'll get so frustrated and just take the manuel one because the other one is expensive plus the auto I'll need is expensive.  So sad. This guy hits me, actually testifies he doesn't recall the accident.  I luckily had witness' that testified he wasn't paying attention and slammed into me at 50 mpr.  Luckily!  Many don't have such a thing then it's your word against the "institutes" words.  Tangent again!  lol

Our shopping is the same as in the UK.  We shop online and either it's "free shipping" after a certain amount is reached or as far as grocery shopping there can or may not be a shipping charge, depends on the items.  But how I feel is, they can charge for groceries (not right but they can) why? because we need to eat.  Other shopping is a luxury and one doesn't have to shop so they need to give incentives and one being "free shipping".

Anyway, for now that's all I can handle as far as a screen is concerned.  My faint feeling of nausea is coming and I need to get ready for a doctor's appt.  If I didn't answer all, I'll be back   lol

Thank you, Les, for your post!  Always a challenge and I mean that in a good way!

Frustrated

We live in such different cultures, with so many differences between countries - it's hard to imagine if we ever swapped places! lol.... First thing, you drive on the wrong side of the road to us! lol Actually, we see many Americans here, where we life is a NATO base then about 7 miles away we have the huge UFO of Europe (well thats what we call it!) it's actually a huge communications HQ for Europe.

Me, and scooters just don't mix at all, again part of my dystonia. My right arm tends to pull in, while my left arm does the opposite. My wife begged me to try and use my dads scooter, so to give her the benefit of the doubt I got on it, I am fairly tall at 6'1" - anyway, I went on the path outside our property, but I kept pulling in to the dam hedge (bushes). Anyway, on the way back - bad mistake, everything is reversed so I kept steering towards the kerbside of the road. And then came our drive which to me looked easy to drive up and past our brand new car!! Well, I went ward and scraped the bumper paint off, I thought "oh sh*t!" and reversed back, but everything to me is the opposite way around so I ended up scraping it further! What I did was caught the shopping carrier lug against the car bumper, that left at least 1ft long scratch by about a few millimetres off, of paint off the car!! It wouldn't haven't been too bad if the car was an old banger, but this car was only 6 months old and in black metalic paint - with a price tag of £17,000+ Okay, we laugh about it now but never again will I go a scooter. I'm a danger to myself and people.

How can a person not recall an accident? That's mad! We've been hit twice in new car... First time was at a roundabout, the woman behind us didn't look and plough into us, but she just wrecked her car because our towbar smashed in all her bumper. Anyway, there was paint damage so we took the car in to a dealer for it to be fixed, and she had to pay for all the damages. And, in less than 6 months we were waiting at another roundabout, and guess what! A bloody lorry slams in to us!! The guy got out the lorry and said to my wife "Sorry, Madam I did not see you!" - I won't say what she said back to him, but it was along the lines of "Are you f******* blind, it's a bloody big red car and you didn't see it?"... Car had to go back to the dealer again... this time £800 worth of damage!!!  So, many people just do not concentrate on the roads these days it is unreal. Even now with a large 4 x 4 people try squeeze through the stupid gaps possible, it makes you wonder how the hell they passed their driving test. I know taking a driving test in the US, does not give you automatic rights to drive in this country. It is a theory then practical, then motorway can be taken, but this soon to be changed to a 3 Test Driving Test, failure on any means you start again, and they are going to change the driving age limit to 21.

I don't drive, if you suffer from seizures then you must go one full year without any seizures before re-applying for your license back.

Probably, more strict here with traffic offences, they use helicopters, cars, motorbikes and even pushbikes. We watch programmes on US policing here and weapons, especially guns yet our police do not carry them unless they request a special backup..

Regards,

Les.

I really enjoyed your post.  Humor is always a good thing.  As far as the guy "not recalling" the accident.  He lied, we all knew he was lying but he must have told the company he worked for that he never claimed anything on a car so therefore he doesn't recall.  No he had a friend fix his car...the car had a 6-8 inch wide blackened line all the way down and it was crushed in.  He went under my back end and flipped me upwards approx 5 ft.  That's why I had so much damage to my body.  I hit the top of my head and it jolted it sideways fracturing a bone and the slam down to the seat crushed and herniated ALL the disks in my back and broke it in two places.  I wanted to get up and slap him when he lied about that.  In fact, I wished the laywers didn't hold me down to at least say "you're a liar" and you live with whaat you did to me and my family!  Now go away and get your golf cart and hope your game goes duff!  Anyway, I was a lady about it...just fumed inside.  My husband wanted to hit him for sure.  My daughters were almost in tears that he said he didn't even remember this accident, like it was so incidental, no paperwork is incidental injuring people to a point of disabling is criminal and that's excatly how we sued him for a civil suit.  He'll remember the rest of his life when he cannot do certain things because he doens't have the money, oh wait, I'll have it! (tongue in cheek)  Honestly, Les, I'd give every cent back if I could be like I was before the accident, but I cannot so I might as well try to be as comfortable as possible, right?  (also, my husband has this right as well, as he lost his wife at that time, the wife he had was so very independent and now very dependent on many things).

Enough of that!  As far as driving lessons in the US, not sure if this is nationwide but in Michigan, the kids start out at age 15 and go to classes plus drive for practice.  For a year afterwards, they have to drive with an adult and cannot drive on weekends after 10PM.  Great idea.  It's helped with limiting the deaths that occur with teens driving and not paying attention (not even the fact that many drive drinking).  The texting is out of control here!  So many have either died or caused deaths from texting.  If they are caught, it's a heavy consequence for them and possible jail time.   They are working diligently trying to get a phone to stop texting if driving.  It's going to take a miracle to get that concept to work.

That remark about your wife "the car his big and red, what do you mean you didn't see it!" cracked me up!  She sounds, just as you do, sound like a couple who love to enjoy the best ways as possible.  And laughter is so much of my life and when it stops (my husband I swear is a comedian), I know my husband is depressed.  My affliction has caused someone who is so fun-loving and very funny person to actually become a "depressed" person because of our lifestyle now.  Things are going to change, I believe it will.  We used ot always do things with 8 other couples, all the time.  Vacations and everything.  Now, they've all slipped away into their own lives either because of having a lot of grandbabies or lives are just different.  So, we've decided that we're going to rely on US.  We've always relied on US and it can be just that again, us.

Ok, I'm rambling.  One thing, though, a quick funny regarding a scooter.  This guy wasn't paying attention and was looking up at something at Disney World and he ran into me, on the scooter.  He was walking.  He actually chased me down to see if I had a scooter number to report me.  I said, how in the He77 are you going to "report" me because you were "stupid"?  lol he was just perplexed that I'd even talk to him.  I told him if you feel strongly about this, here's my drivers license..go for it.  In Disney World in FLA, Everyone, even if  they don't need a scooter, they ride on around the complex.  It's HUGE!  I, however, needed one.  Oh well, it was funny at that time but it's lost it's luster!

Thank you for your lovely post, I really enjoyed it!

Warm regards,

Frustrated