Disabled, has this "disabled" your self worth?

What do you all say? And, please, just express your own view. Don't give anyone a hard time because their view runs counter to one of your views. Consider that a yellow card matter. (You would have to blow your whistle and show yourself a yellow card. I hope that no one else would dream of doing such a thing on this forum.)

I say you're right.  I'm here because people have helped me and I'm hoping through what I've gone through, I can help others.

This is a place of help and guidence not a place to tear someone apart then leave.  It isn't facebook, you're right about that!  It's a forum where the intelligence of many come together to create HOPE to other's as well as themselves.

Hope, without HOPE, it's pointless.

Love you guys!

Frustrated

Hope without Hope is hopeless. 

No?  Ok ok a pointless reply.

Yep I did do that deliberately!  I could have written it differently but would it even be noticed?  Who knows.  It is a moot point, really.

But let me see you rephrase it, please? 

Xx Frustrated

That penultimate proposition when kicked arround ends with an ultimate proposition that the point of giving and receiving help is only meaningful because there is an eternal first cause of all things who cares.

I don't do sports so what does yellow card mean please explain

You don 't need to hide here. We all have bad problems and anxieties. Here you get straight taking and honesty. And a double zero for a forum name would be amusing if it did not jell much too uncomfortably with your post. Then I look at your profile. But no one is there. Looks like you are locking yourself in and you friends out.

Yes, people find it difficult to know how to deal with a seriously ill friend. We have to help them to be sensible. They can then become part of the oursupport team. The same applies to your potential friends on the forum. A little help, a little annonimous information and anyone with relevant experience is likely to respond.

Please give us a try. I found the forum a crucial help when I first joined this forum. I was a complete mess of panic and anxiety. How wonderfully my new friends got me sorted out. Please give us a try.

George

Your name is a reflection of how you feel?  I hear you what you said.  It is hard to not work yet look like you're somewhat healthy.  I choose to believe that with my afflictions, this has showed me who my real friends are.  Those who make snide comments can kiss my....foot  I am female but experience all the same fears and reactions that you mentioned.  I was a good part of our income.  It's hard but I believe that saying, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!  Sometimes, I slip back and get depressed but when I come to this site, I seek out my friends and all is peaceful and I'm feeling whole again.  

I hope you take time to get to know us.  You will find that this place is a good distraction from your illness.  May I ask what you are suffering from?  I have sarcoidosis of the lungs, heart, gums, cartiledge in the nose, ears and I have sarcoid also on my skin and fingernails.  I also have sjogrens in my eyes but it's spread recently to my face, ears, neck, scalp, inside my nose and and really severe in my eyes.  In addition to all that, I've been in two auto accidents and broke my back in two places and fractured my neck...many surgeries.

I'm not saying all that to toot a horn.  I just want you to feel comfortable talking with us about our situation.  This site is a tremendous support group and help with any given situation.  Sometimes one of us may be having a hard day and ask a question that takes time to figure out, there are many I've been in communication with that will take thier time out and look it up  for me.  And, I'd do the same for them.

You  can reveal as much as you want or as little.  Some at this site are judgemental, but I finally found a group of people that are very much sensitive to any given situation and does not judge one because something was said in an awkward way.  I always like to remember, that we are all here because we are all ill in some way.  

If something hits you wrong, send them a private message and ask what they meant by what they said.  This keeps it between you and the other person and will allow all of the others to keep clear from it, thus making at least one feeling "ganged up on".

Anyway, thank you for your post and I welcome you and hope we read more of your posts!

Warmly, 

Frustrated

its a bit hard to explain what I have, the doctors say its a neurological disorder that they cant diagnose yet, I have been going to john hopkins for help for over 3 years, and after tons of tests, specialists and even therapy, they found very little, and when they did find something, they never went to dig deeper in that area to see if it relates to what I have. My sickness is a bit weird, it is alot like tardive disconesia, the limbs move on they're own, so does my muscles at times and even my tongue, though not all at once since I found out what triggers it, which is caffeen. if I drink caffeen, I can go into a state that is almost seizure like with all the movments, along with those, I get seering pains in my hands and feet, with sensory problems touching paper, if I touch it with my hands, the feeling is almost like a bee stink mixed with a shock, the paper thing has been my worse one since you never think about it, many things are paper: sugar packets, money, oat meal packets, certain labels, grocery bags, fast food bags, mail, etc

you never think twice when you touch them, then once shocked, it almost feels like a slime sensation that you want to badly rub off.

sadly the doctors have no diagnosis, and told me they arent sure science is good enough to have a name for it, between that news and the other problems, I tend to be stuck at home for weeks, and it really gets to me hard at times, especially since I got this sickness not even less than two weeks after graduating high school.. its been three years now.

Wow, I'm so sorry you're going through so much discontent and discomfort.  That's crazy in a day and age as we are in today, they cannot dx your situation.  Hopkins can't either?  I have to say, I've never heard of such an affliction.  It must be hard.  You're so young to be stuck in a home w/o stimulation of what life has to offer us.

You're right, we do take for granted from the simplest.  Touching paper and products surrounded with paper are very much a huge part of our lives.  I sure wish they could put a name to it and find a cure or at the very least, something to help you not feel so much pain.  Are you on an medication for this?

May I ask, do you live in the UK or the US or where?  If you're uncomfy answering, it's okay.  

Well, I didn't expect such a detailed response from you but I grately appreciate it.  I too am confined to the limit out of my home visits.  I usually spend most my time in bed as my bed has the comfort of being able to be adjusted to find my comforts.  I have a hard time going up and down the stairs because of all the pain it stimulates in my back and lower back and the nerves in my legs, so it's easier to make that trip once or twice a day.  My husband joins me around 8pm and we watch a movie together and talk.  He also comes up and talks to me throughout the daytime.  He's my contact with the outside world.

Well, I hope you get some answers soon with regards to your situation.  Please join us in other topics put up for discussion as the more insight on a subject, the better it seems to help  with healing and loneliness.

Again, thank you.

Warm regards,

Frustrated

to be honest, I have tried many many times to fill that void, but internet friends can only help for so long, after a few years, it became hard, fustrating and depressing to me to feel like I graduated, then my life just stood still from that point on, even leading to a few times I tried dangerious ways to stop my pain, even slicing my skin so I can pull away focus from the naturally intense pain from my sickness, or in other words, A knife pain feels better than my sickness's pain, with that said, I had most sharp items taken from me to stop it from happening again, I came here to see if I could find a way... to cope, or find something to keep me away from suicide, I have tried a few times, but never went through with it because I honestly dont wanna die, just be out of pain and be free, therapy doesnt help either, so finding this site is one of my attempts at reaching out for help to pull away from the dark things pain and the suffering has brought me to my knees to do.

I'm so happy you found this site.  Unlike a livechatroom, this allows time in between thoughts for one to ponder on.  Other's join in and they do with care and understanding.  No judgement!  

I feel your pain, I really do.  I have physical pain, like I said, from an auto accident and before finding this site, I was just in a hold and in great depression.  This site has helped me and distracted me from what had been haunting me for a number of years.  I'm not trying to sell this site, but merely trying to make you feel welcome and know that many on here can and will listen to you.

I have thought and thought about how I found this site, and to this date, I don't remember!  I really do wish I could remember but whatever happened, it was a good thing!

I hope you don't go back to that route of hurting yourself.  The scars don't go away and will always be a reminder of a time in your life that was so painful, and who wants to be reminded of that, right?  I know it seems like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but it will happen.  I didn't believe that myself, but when it did happen, I started opening up and feeling good again.  I still had the pain and the auto immune diseases, but with having a distraction, my family noted a difference.

Anyway, I look forward to your posts.  They are interesting and I believe many can learn from your experiences.

Take care!

Warm regards,

Frustrated

Hmm, distractions, well, I would sit in my yard and make bird houses (boring, eh?)  and I'd paint them in somewhat of a folk art style.  I made many bluebird houses.  I did a lot of research on different birds and found out what kind I like and disliked.  It's all in the feed you use that will depend on the kind of birds you attract.  I wanted singing birds, cardinals, bluebirds (not blue jays) hummingbirds.  I also planted (well my husband did the digging) but I planted butterfly bushes, flowers hummingbitds love, cosmos to attract all kinds of butterflies.  It was a serenity type of thing, I'd do but to this day, they are all around.  I cannot maintain the 5 gardens I had so my daughters dug up; a lot of the plants and placed them in a garden designated for a particular bird or butterfly.  

I go  to lunch wiht a few friends when I can.  I use the computer to utilize a lot of time.  I have many doctor's appts (whoop!).  I wish that would slow down, really.

Also, my husband and I planned a few trips around our girls.  We took my youngest and her boyfriend on an Alaskan Cruise for 10 days.  My oldest daughter, we took her on the Disney Cruise and visited Disney World.  I love to travel and we're planning a grand trip hopefully this summer or winter.  All that takes money so I save and save and when there's enough, we take a trip.  Local or abroad...the Medeterrian (sp?)

I try and read.  I do play games on the computer as well as my Kindle.  My  husband bought me a guitar so slowly I'm trying to learn that.  He also bought me a metal detector to which I love if the ground isn't hard lol.  I don't dig things up, I usually take my grandson with me and he loves that part...it hleps me maintain a bond with him.  The girls, we usually go and have our nails done.  I used to do that every week when working but things have changed.  I save on money and purchased an LED lamp to dry gel polish (which stays on for approx 2 weeks) and my granddaughters love that!

Well, I'm not sure you were expecting a book, but I apologize, I did just that.   I'm just overly tired.  Been up too many hours w/o sleep.  As soon as I finish here, I'm going to nap.  I do apologize if the spelling is off or I am not making any sense!  I'm not always an air head, lol.

Anyway, you take care and ty for writing me, I really appreciate it.  Also, if you would, could you tell me what you do on a daily basis..  Friends etc...

TYVM.

Frustrated

to be honest, I dont do much because I have very little money, we are still fighting disability to give me help, and my family is very very disfunctional in alot of ways, my mom having drinking problems being the worse, so normally I stay in my room most of the time.

Um.. and friends, I dont have many, I havent made any since high school, and most went they're separate ways, I had one that stood around, but I wouldnt count him as a friend, he tends to be a very bad person to hang out with..

About the bluejays, the feed I put into the feeders are seeds that the bluejays don't like.  I found this out from a person I used to work with.  He was somewhat an expert when it came to the right kinds of seeds to attract the birds I wanted.  I took his suggestions and they worked!   The bluebirds aren't anything like the bluejays.  The bluebirds are a very bright bluish color and they are small and love to have a bird house that is 4-5 ft from the ground.  So, if you put up bird houses to attract the bluebirds, you should put up at least 3-5 of them, depending on the size of your yard.  They will fill up quickly.  The great part about that is, they come back every spring and stay through the beginning of fall.  With the chickadees, cardinals, finches, hummingbirds and bluebirds, our yard is pretty busy and there's a lot of sweet music coming from them.  Then the butterflies...well that's a whole other story lol, I won't bore you with that.

I'm sorry about your situation at home.  It has to be hard on you.  Dysfunction was my family's middle name, so I'm no stranger to that!  I hope you are able to get out soon and perhaps find a few friends at a coffee shop or bookstore...or any where!!

Thank you for your response, it's always fun to read your  posts!

Warm regards,

Frustrated

but on the up side, he is great at mimicing voices, sounds and even tv audio, along with the fact he is easily trained, I actually got him trained to use the bathroom in a litterbox!

I still cant figure out if I am just silly or a mad genius for doing that.. but it worked!

ever taken care of animals? we have also taken care of baby birds, nakes, squirrels, etc.

I look forward to your posts!  Thank you for responding.  Barnes and Noble is a great place to start.  You say it's downtown, is that a long ways from your home?  Sometimes taking the bus opens up to good conversation, too.

Sadly, in our state, the bus system is quite scary to take.  It used to lead to wonderful shopping and diners and resturants.  Now it leads to depression.  Most if not all the stores are closed now.  There are  very, very few resturants.  Sure, they put in new casinos to attract people downtown, but  what it attracts are desperate people who bet their weeks earning and usually lose it.  It is sad.  And also dangerous to go it alone or with even another couple.

LOL@ your bird taking a spitefully poop!  Yes, birds are smart.  Most anyway.  I could sit for hours watching them place themselves on the perches of the feeders and watching them fight for the best spot.  Some are quite the bullies!  Other's are just paitent and sit on a branch above until the coast is clear then they feed.

It is amazing that with the seeds I use, NO bluejays are present.  They are in my opinion, the number one bully!  While they are beautiful, they are quite annoying and their screech is awful!  I have a book with a wand that you run the wand over the bird and it makes the sound of that particular bird.  When our feeders aren't being used, we call the chickadees then the cardinals by that wand.  It's awesome!

Anyway, thank you again for writing.  Let me know how your trips to the bookstore go, please?

Warmly,

Frustrated

I'm sorry that your trip didn't happen, I can understand why you decided against it!  Better to be safe, I always say!  What do you mean "people didn't look good here, but never knew they all were like that"?  Not sure what you mean by that.  

Do you belong to any "live chat sites"?  That may be a way to talk and meet new people.  Seems like everyone is going that route now a days.  You said that you're going to have to try another state, is your family close to you or do they live in a different state?  My family all live in the same state, oh wait, my oldest brother recently moved to a different state but he, for some reason, decided he doesn't want to be a part of this family anymore.  He's been divorced twice and I think the second divorce did him in.  I always just wanted to be there for him.  It isn't to be.

Well, again, I thank you for responding.  I wished it were better news but I totally get it!  Do you have any friends that just stop by?  

Anyway, you take care and I look forward to hearing from you again.

Warm regards,

Frustrated

and I ment what I said about the people sadly, I live in maryland, so many people are from the city, and tend to not have manners.. wear slutty clothing and tend to look the part.

I totally get that regarding the chat sites, I haven't entertained one in many years...in fact, the few I did visit are all closed now!  I do know there are a few healthy sites that are supposd'ly are good.  When I find the names, I'll pass it along and you can check it out, it just might be a good fit for you

Okay, now I understand what you meant about the people where you're living.  We have a few areas around here too, Michigan.  I live far enough away that I don't worry as much anymore but to go out on my own, I cannot drive because of my injuries and the medications I'm taking.  I have some friends that always call me and pick me up, I tag along!  

I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine.  She had a kidney transplant the week b4 Christmas, her sister donated one of her kidneys.  Anyway, she's doing really good.  Her doctor said she cannot go to places that are populated a lot at one time, like, church, grocery shopping, etc...but, she said, oh, I do go to the grocery store.  I was like OMG! are you nuts!! Those places are loaded with bacteria, your doctor told you this for a good reason!!!  I told her that I definitely didn't want to lose a good friend bc they were being stubborn!  She laughed it off but knowing her as well as I do, she will probably not go until after the flu season is over which isn't until like Mayish.

Well, my friend, I hope everything is going well for you.  I'm fighting a cold right now...drats!  I've slept most yesterday and all today.  I hate that!  I do need extra sleep but I hate it that it's bc I'm sick that I'm sleeping.

Oh well. it is what it is.  You take care and hope to hear from you!

Warmly,

Frustrated

I cant imagine getting a transplant, I once tried to give for someone way back when, then found out we were compatible (its ironic how hard it is to push when family doesnt want you to donate to save another life..whew)