dla appeal yesterday and feel like just giving up on life

well done hun hope i am as succesful

the forms dont seem to allow for how pain and stiffness impends your life

its more about what treatments you have and what aids you use 

well with most Fbro and ME folk its the restriction of caused by the pain and stiffness and fatigue ,

you just need to fill in the form as if it was your worst day. include how the meds make you feel. if it asks can you lift an empty box, put it varies, because there is days you cant get out of bed. Good luck, hope you get a good result. 

 

i dont take meds at the moment .i feel to bad to want to feel any worse 

the blood tests results wont be back in time for the forms going  back 

but i suppose they will get in touch with the doc anyway and the results if important to my health problems can be added then .

i have not been any where in 7yrs except to scarborough and back a few times which is 25 mins from us .i dont go out for meals and iv not been able to attend any family do's i couldnt even attend my dads funeral 

because the upset brought on a flare and i was crippled and couldnt do the 4hr car journey and i so wanted to say good bye .

i just dont know how to explain stuff , in the right way i am hoping i can get some one to fill it in for me

, but the aniexty is taking over my logical part of the brain and making me feels so much more pain every thing is getting out of proportion.

i hoped that when my girls left home i could go clothes shopping with them and out to lunch i can t even do that because the pain after being on my feet for just a little while is so bad i can bear it

,i cant hold my arms up to look thru clothes rails so i just do it all on line i have missed out so much

,i am not one of these people who say i cant go to work then spend my evenings drinking and eating junk food 

iv tried so hard so many things to get better because thats all i want i would like to go to work and feel valued and have a social life and i feel so depressed that i have to try and make people believe how much i and other suffers go thru . 

 

Well done Claire <3

thanks for posting your good news this gives me great hope, for i too have been fighting my dla appeal for 2yrs in may.

validation at last!

angie x thanks="" for="" posting="" your="" good="" news="" this="" gives="" me="" great="" hope,="" for="" i="" too="" have="" been="" fighting="" my="" dla="" appeal="" for="" 2yrs="" in="" may.="" validation="" at="" last!="" angie="">

thanks for posting your good news this gives me great hope, for i too have been fighting my dla appeal for 2yrs in may.

validation at last!

angie x>

I really think you are far to hard on yourself, maybe you need to except the fact that you are not well. You do not need to be working to feel valued. Take time to realise all you have came through, and your still standing. just because your pain is not visable, does not mean that you have to justify it to anyone. Look at what you have achieved instead of thinking about the things you cant do at the minute. Take one step at a time. Concentrate on one thing in the day, like getting washed and dressed, anything more than that is a bonus. Take your form to CAB and they will fill it in for you.  I know you are having a rough time, but in the last 3 years i have lost my job, my home, my son lay in hospital for a month with a severe head injury and last May I burried my brother who was only 47. Give yourself credit for what you have came through, and allow yourself to be looked after. keep your chin tiswas, and you will get there. 

Big gentle hugs to you. xx

i know your right hun and i am aware that other people have problems to and life crisis . the thing if i wait for anyone to look after me il wait along time .

i get no understanding from my family .

i dont even get a meal cooked for me ever .

cab here dont do forms anymore they funds have been cut .

but i am hoping that D A G will the guy there is a whiz what would take us days to do takes him minutes but he is always in demand . 

i am just sick of going from constipation to direoh  and from not being able to sleep to not being able to stay awake.

sick of my aniexty ruling my life ,i want to start my relaxation cds again but i feel so on edge dont know if icould . 

i know what you say about realising little steps such as being able to get washed and dressed .but i want a life iv done my daughter bit ,my mum bit ,.now i want my time i dont think its to much to ask for . 

i am like many others i am sure fed up with exsisiting i want to live i dont want to spend the rest of my life feeling glad i managed to get dressed .

i know you mean well but i really do wish i could just go to bed and not wake up .i am tired of it all .

i wish i was brave enough to end it myself i am just not that brave .

but i think really its not life i am tired of its just my life i am tired of .

i hope your son has made a good recovery ,and i am so sorry about your brother 47 is so young . 

Yeah 47 was far to young, and it was such a needless death and could have been avoided. Death is very final and there's no coming back from it, so be very careful with that train of thought. I'm sure you feel that you are just existing but each life is precious, if not to you I'm sure to your daughters. You are not going through something that I have not already experienced, in fact I have complex regional pain syndrome on top of it all. But I do try very hard to keep on top of my emotions because it's all a vicious circle. Fibromyalgia does not have to be a death sentence, maybe you should reconsider taking meds. Sounds to me like you could do with some help coping. I really hope you get things sorted. And I really hope you can find some inner strength to take control of your life and not let this illness become you.

Keep fighting x

Hi Claire

Totally agree with the advice you have given to Tiswas.......

We all need to take a day at a time and be greatful to the day we all have and make the most of it with positive thoughts.

I do understand some days can be difficult but we all gave those but being truthful and accepting is the biggest hurdle we all have to deal with.

Gentle hugs to all n Happy Easter x 

i used to cope well and i used to be positive most of the time 

but since i have had this bloody form iv got so stressed that emotional side of my brain has taken over and i am in a permant stage of stress .

even if i get DAG do fill it out iv got to explain to him and thats the ahard bit i get so irated becasue i am so tired i dont want to be bothered .and it all sounds so perfecte i sound such a whimp and a moaner it iratates me

most people have a bad nights sleep there snappy and iratable or if some one has a bad tooth they are bad tempered .thats understood

but we have to put up with constant pain and fatigue and put on a permant smile . because this just isent understood they cant see how anybody can be in permant pain 

i printed of some info on complex pain they do link it to fibro if your in constant pain . so when i do get a appointment to rhemotolgist  i suspect thats what he will say . 

think i said I also have Aspergers syndrome as well so i suffer with a depression that cant be cured by meds because it is not caused by chemical imbalance its due to the way the brain is wired .

we think differantly , we usaly have a above average inteligence the ability to retain information that we are interested in .

but cant tye our shoe laces , it took me the whole 7 weeks of school hols to learn to tie a my school tie.

but both conditions cause high stress levals and aniexty .

i dont want to die , i just want it to stop  

its just the only way i can see it stopping 

i just want to get well if there was an award for trying i would be well now 

iv spent thousands on gadgets and lotions potions supplements

and i am no better ,everytime i try something new i cant my hopes up only to have them dashed ,

i brought a self help training programe but every time i put the vid on i fall asleep drives me mad .

i am surrounded by negativity in a bad marriage and a son that totaly depressed allt he time its bad enough coping with the symptoms without other people putting more stress on you .

i am hopeing once this bloody form is done and sent my aniexty levals will drop . because now i am worried about getting an appointment will be stressing leading up to an appointment and the day of the appointment i wil be really ill . this is how i am . the next day when the froms gone i will feel so much better

.its the same when i have an appointment for anything ,even the dentist and its so stupid because once i am in the chair i am fine ,which for most people is the worst bit .but mine is  the what ifs before .what if  am late ,what if it hurts ,and so on .

i no i sound crazy maybe i am but its real to me 

 

i agree with claire to hun 

i cope well normally its the form and getting it sorted thats adding extra stress and making me physicaly ill 

its all to much on top of everything else .the straw on the camels back thats trying to break me.

i just want to get it sorted and sent of then i will be back to coping ,instead of stressing and coping .remember i have no support at all .and added presure gives me more physical symptoms to cope with ontop of daily stuff .

hey tiswas, it dosnt sound crazy at all, sounds to me like you suffer from extreme anxiety.  

 I know that damn form is a nightmare but you really have to try and calm down about the whole thing.

I know you might be thinking, " thats easy for her to say" but i can tell from your messages that you are clever enough to know this and you can do it.

Its good that your kids are old enough to look after themsleves, try turning all this negetive stuff around. Its the only way hun and your the only one that can do it.

The form will get sorted anyway, no matter how much you stress.

I understand that your brain might be wired differently but you still have a certain amount of control it. You are a fighter, and you will get through this, and i dont want to sound harsh, but stop feeling sorry for yourself and start fighting back.

Things could always be worse. You are the only one that can change things and the way you think about things. 

Your hubby may not understand what you are going through, but neither does mine. One of the first things i had to do was realise that no one would truly understand how i felt. Learn to say no to people, start looking for something positive and take baby steps. 

You have to keep trying no matter how hard it is or what illness you have, and as for support, its not much but we are all here for you.

big hugs x

thats just it hun i dont feel sorry for myself 

i am angry at myself 

i am just tired of being angry 

and out of control 

and annyoed at myself for not being in control 

its all crazy , and illogical .and i know it.

but i feel powerless to change it  at the moment 

as soon as i get it sorted i no things wil be better 

its just getting it sorted thats the problem.i just want to get it done

so i can forget it .

i dont feel sorry for myself ,i feel low there is a differance

i have a lot to put up with and having no friends near by 

i see no one to talk to for days and things build up 

silly little worries become out of control 

you cant talk to men like you can to a friend . 

they just dont listen . 

my husband is for every saying things that makes me feel like a burden 

my son is just so depressed all the time with his life 

that he spends most of his time in bed 

thank god for my 2 dogs , who make me laugh ,drive me mad as well we only had one then we got landed with my daughters supposed to be only temporly but its turned permant ,he is a lovely litle chap but it gets a bit much sometimes 

 

Oh Tis, try and be stronger for yourself. Made me feel so sad reading your posting. Can't your husband do more to help you? Or your family visit you more often? Saying that, my family whats left of them seem to have written me off. My parents died 36/ 21 years ago-eldest brother 16 yrs ago aged 44- (cancer) younger brother has (cancer) too far to travel he says- " youngest children never visit too far they say,(30 mins in car )

So I never see anyone when my husband leaves on Sun am til Thurs night..Hope your form filling goes ok, and keep cheerful..Anne..

well i hope you get things sorted, but i think you are putting to much prevalence on getting this form filled in, but you no best hun. Anger is not a good thing either, but u know that too. its great that you have this forum to unburden all your thoughts and you can rant and rave and get it all out of your system. 

 

once i am over this low bit i will proberly pick up again 

its just diffitcult coping on your own .

iv been on my own all my life it seems 

i am lucky that cancer dont seem to run in my family except my dad

i think the extrem aniexty started with me in child hood 

my parents were always rowing and my dad drank i used to lie awake to the early hours waiting for him to come home to see what mood he was in couldnt stand being woken up with shouting

then when they finly split my brother and i were left to fend for ourselves i was 13 he was 12 this we did for 18months alone except for sundays when we were taken to our dads partners house for lunch and tea then brought back for another week on our own .

along with the power cuts and fending for our selves that included hand washing clothes, cleaning the house and making food  , it was a lot of stress and responability to have put on me at 13, and i spent a lot of times afraid . this has since come back to haunt me . 

i know this hun i am .putting to much prevalence on it

thats what i mean about my illogical emotional  brain being in control

at the moment .

and it making me angry .

god what a state to get into .