drunk again
Posted , 13 users are following.
yup
0 likes, 77 replies
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Notes on drunk again
tess33005 Misssy2
Posted
Misssy!!
You do not have to say sorry to anyone in the world, especially this forum, for doing what addicts do. Hell, I ordered 160 Xanax last week and tanned the lot in four days.
So that neatly ruined my diazepam taper - until I saw Dr. Diazepam and told him, and he was unfazed.
He was interested in what had triggered it - so we discussed that - then he wrote me a new prescription and told me I'd done well and that he appreciated my honesty.
You must be feeling VERY unwell - so am I. Suddenly withdrawing from a massive Xanax-Fest is terrible.
But I can berate myself forever and it won't change the fact that I did it.
If it was that easy to stop drinking or any other addiction, this forum would not exist.
Misssy, if I was begging for help at any time, you'd right there with the first responders. That's how we get through. We're here for one another. When one falls, the others pick up and nurture the wounded one.
Memo to self : do NOT take 160 Xanax in four days ever again........
But I might, all the same.
Misssy2 tess33005
Posted
160 in 4 DAYS? I would be DEAD.
And I know you pay an arm and a leg for that many.
Just 30 Lorazepam will cost me 142 dollars...really?!
I think I will also be going cold turkey on them as well...unless I can somehow get prescription filled before this w*tch psychiatrist figures out I drank.
I can't get comfortable...freezing then hot...then sad..then mad...
Restless...hungry but won't eat...I want to make a recipe but cant go to the store...pure mess..
tess33005 Misssy2
Posted
I took all the diazepam too!
A benzo addict of very long-standing can build up an amazing tolerance to them. They were only the 0.5 mg ones.
I'm not proud of that, by the way. Just telling it how it is......
You shouldn't come off any benzo suddenly, Misssy. You know that.
Hugs, love and I'm here - we're ALL here, for YOU.
Misssy2 tess33005
Posted
I'm not wanting to come off suddenly but because I will not report to Dr. this week for a Random Drug screen (which I requested by the way - stupid me)....than they will not prescribe them.
I'm scr*wed....and p*ssed off at the moment. I have 7 pills at 0,.5 left...and I have to wait till I stop drinking to take them..even thou right now...would be really nice to take one....wtf
tess33005 Misssy2
Posted
Why have you got to wait until you stop drinking to take them? When Jim had to go to hospital (this was ages ago) because he'd broken his leg, he got to A & E and they gave him a different benzo, but still a benzo, to stop him trying to leave (he was very drunk at the time)
They always give benzos here to alcoholics who are in A & E.
Paper_fairy Misssy2
Posted
Misssy, my twin, we've been through so much together. Please try and stop( although I know how hard it is). You'll know when when you're ready no matter what we all say. WE NEED YOU, you're advice, empathy and humour. Hurry up and come back...please don't die. If you carry on you might die. Please don't die. I think you are in a toxic relationship like I was. My girls treat me like sh*t if I drink. Please find the strength to get well again, take tha campral and they will come back to you eventually. They will. I promise. Never give up xxx
Misssy2 Paper_fairy
Posted
They aren't coming back to me....I've been sober here and there for 2 years and they haven't come back.
I just have to be sober for me....cause as you know it feels so much better than this.
poppy47815 Misssy2
Posted
Don't feel bad. Guess what stupid thing I did yesterday too. Well I was cleaning out my armoire yesterday. Yes pretty productive and I found a half of a pint of vodka stashed from God knows when. And I thought perfect! I have a baseball game to go to tonight. This will come in handy. How stupid. So I drank those four shots before the game. Felt horrible this morning. Killer headache. Dehydrated. Really from only a few shots? I just put it aside in my brain. Made a big pot of green chili and said to myself. It will be okay. And Missy it will be okay for you too. But there has to be a starting point. Make it your day. Today.
Misssy2 poppy47815
Posted
hmm.what is better? If I go to sleep..i will wake up with tremendous hangovoer..if I go to bar...same thing but I will have a beer here..for Monday morning...so confilicted...
vickylou Misssy2
Posted
So misssy which won, the tavern or bed? I can relate to this. The common sense side would be to go to bed, but the body says the tavern. Have I got it right that today is day 3 of drinking?
i know that if I saved a beer for the next morning I'd want another and would be in the same situation again. I hope you went to bed even though you know you'll feel horrible tomorrow. Thinking of you xx
poppy47815 Misssy2
Posted
Misssy2 vickylou
Posted
But, too restless to sleep more...
Misssy2 poppy47815
Posted
bed it was..I would have drove to the Tavern...bad idea...glad I didn't go.
vickylou Misssy2
Posted
See you can do it!! So pleased you chose bed, so be proud of yourself for not giving in. I know how it feels. Shall I or shan't I, I'll just have the one or two to make me feel a bit better. No I won't cos I'm just prolonging the inevitable hangover and withdrawal. I does my head in, yes just one. Only with me one never happens. It's all or nothing with me.
Thinking of you.
Take care. Try to eat something if you can even though it's the last thing you want. I lived on glucose drinks and meal replacement drinks for 3 days once.
Misssy2 vickylou
Posted
yea, I only drank 3 days but feel like I got run over by a truck.
I'm really concerned that i will give in to drinking today....its so twisted...I will try to explain it....
I feel horrible...although I felt more horrible yesterday because the night before i had about 16 beers...so I woke up with the taste and feeling weak, etc...and I had 1 beer in my car...so I drank it yesterday and then I went to store....felt better after about 4 beers.
Today I feel like the hangover could be tolerable....and I COULD get thru it...but my sick brain is saying...maybe you could have a tolerable one tommorow too so you can drink today.
I just don't want to think about anything...and drinking does that...turns me into a nothing blob.....As soon as I woke up today (no beer) my head gets flooded with all my problems...and I want to escape.
I look like garbage...and pretty soon I do have to go to the store for cigs...I hope i only buy cigs...but the more I move around the worse I feel...and I keep thinking the drink...one more time...UGH.