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Emotional wreck

Posted , 10 users are following.

emily52713
emily52713

Despite going to the hospital yesterday and being checked i still think im dying. Infact i know i am. I told the doctor everything and he didnt say much. He said he cannot find any signs of weakness in my muscles. Then i told him the stress i have at home..i have another hospital appointment on friday and im so scared because i know that they will tell me i have an illness and that i am dying.

0 likes, 34 replies

34 Replies

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  • catherine23104
    catherine23104 emily52713

    Posted

    Hi Emily, i feel for you.  You're only young and you're on here a lot.  I went for a stomach scan yesterday, convinced i had something awful.  I don't i have a gallstone.  I do have every symptom of some sort of cancer though but that could also be my IBS flaring up.  I know its so hard. Before my scan i was panicking and thinking i was going to die THAT SECOND.  Had that today too which is annoying as i felt good after the results of the scan.  I've read most of your posts but not sure if you are seeing a counsellor.  I do find talking to someone helps.  Also are you taking medication?  I was about 25 when my anxiety flared up when my mum died.  I am 42 now.  Medication really helped me to live a normal life for about 4 yrs but i came off as i felt better but after a year i'm back where i was.  Wish i had the courage to take it again.  Try not to loose as much of your life to anxiety as i have.  I have a 7 yr old son i want him to be happy and have fun with me. Also remember Doctor Google does you no good.  Maybe set yourself a goal of not going and looking up symptoms for a few days or something?? I really hope you find some peace soon. xxxxx
  • LoneWolf7
    LoneWolf7 emily52713

    Posted

    Hey, you're going to be okay. Your scared, we know that. But your anxiety makes you feel like your not doing the right things, or your body isn't functioning. When I was at school, I was ill for around four months. I had multiple blood tests, even had a belly scan ( thought they were trying to tell me I'm pregnant wink)  I went through all of that and they said nothing was wrong with me, then I ended up developing a fear of going back to school because of it.

    Because your so convinced something is bad, it's taking its effect on you, and one small little thing like for instance being tired, you think your dying, your not.  When you go Friday, talk again about your anxiety, talk again about everything,  make sure they know what your saying instead of blowing it over their heads, your okay and you will be okay soon.

    You'll get all this sorted and be on the up, it's a slow process but you'll do it!

    My inbox is always open to you! smile

    • emily52713
      emily52713 LoneWolf7

      Posted

      I honestly am not going to be okay. The doctors have fobbed me off with saying im okay. Amd theyve probably left it too late now because theybaret giving me a scan. 
    • Aspinan
      Aspinan emily52713

      Posted

      Hi Emily, you are going to be okay, your listening to your health anxiety instead of your Dr.

      You and your health professionals need to concentrate on the health anxiety your suffering from.

      Drs don't fob off if they think there is something wrong, they have given and done all the tests for what you believe is the matter and they have come back negative so you haven't got what you believe you have.

      Have you done the diary thing I suggested, and printed some information on health anxiety for your mum?

      N 

    • emily52713
      emily52713 Aspinan

      Posted

      Ive spoken to my mum about it, but she just doesnt listen. Only shouts. Ands tells me that ill end up in a mental hospital if i dont stop. But she just doesnt realise what is going on in my head and ive tried to talk to to her but she isnt having any of it. I undersand that shes sick of me askig to go to the hospital all time so then she has to come out of work, but i do it because im honestly concerned and worried about my health. 
    • Aspinan
      Aspinan emily52713

      Posted

      You mum sounds like she doesn't know how to help you through this, especially the mental hospital thing, it also sounds like she has the wrong idea about mental hospitals also, they are not even called that they are are phychistric wards.

      Would you say that irrespective of what the Drs tell you, or the test results show you will not be convinced or even slightly satisfied that you don't have the condition you think you have? Because that is at the heart of your actual illness.

      What appear to be happening is that you can't associate your physical anxiety symptoms with the anxiety condition you know you have unless your feeling anxious at the time, or any "normal" physical sensation has to be associated with some form of terrible illness so you go looking for a self diagnosis which then feeds directly into your heakth fears and the cycle continues.

      Some symptoms you say you have like the side of your face dropping is psychosomatic in that you see it although it's not happening, in a similar way a person with an eating disorder sees themselves as fat when they look in the mirror when in fact they are Severly underweight.

      i can understand none of the above will probably make you feel any better or helps but you have to chase your GP for the treatment you need, I recall that you were still waiting for the councelling session date and I suggested you chase it up and get it underway, have you of your mum chased it at all?

      Neil 

       

    • emily52713
      emily52713 Aspinan

      Posted

      We are going to ring them back up tomorrow. And i understnad the thing about it happening in my mind but not happeimimg in real, as everyone i asl about my face says it is completly fine..i also understand about the cycle and i agree with this as i automaticaly go looking on google for diseases and ilnesses related to symptoms and then diagnose myself. For example i had a cold, so started to search things about pneumonia and bronchitis. At my hospital appointment tomorrow i will tell them all of this just to clarify that i do have a problem with that to see what they say. 

    • Aspinan
      Aspinan emily52713

      Posted

      Emily that is fantastic and VERY BRAVE of you to say you are going to discuss it at the hospital appointment.

      Please tell me how you get on and what they say.

      Nx

    • UrAlliGOt
      UrAlliGOt emily52713

      Posted

      NO your mum loves you, it's the same reaction my mum gave me when i tried to tell her abt whats going on with me, she too also goes to work and all that stress shes having, we end up arguing and she started rasing her voice, so I just realize she doesn't understand whats going on in me so as many parents out there, even your friends will think your going nuts, I'm not saying they're bad parents but its a fact, people with anxiety or mental health problems looks very well from the outside and its really hard to understand a person if you really have no idea whats going on and its frustraiting at there side, what we're having is not as common as a flu or a cough or any familliar disease, i took me 5 months of hell before i tried to tell open and explain it to my mum coz I rally can't take it anymore, well we argued a bit but not she half clueless on whats going on in me but she's very supportive, she came along with my check up and and tomorow we'll be going to the lab to check my heart, lungs, stomach and spine.

      she's probably mad because you already have a few or many visits to the doctor and all came out fine, just try to ask her if she knows any good therapist that can help you.

    • LoneWolf7
      LoneWolf7 emily52713

      Posted

      The internet is just a big virus for people with anxiety and that sometimes because for example, I don't go out, so I stay on my phone and on my laptop alot but then when I dony I freak out and think somethings wrong with me.

      What did the docttors say?

    • emily52713
      emily52713 LoneWolf7

      Posted

      She tested my reflexes and strengths and eyes and said everything was fine, but she is sending me for an mri scan to see if there is anything and to put my mind at rest 
    • emily52713
      emily52713 LoneWolf7

      Posted

      I felt okay i suppose well kind of scared , but then when she told me about the mri i was alot hapier knowing that they will actually do something about it and wont just send me home without anything being done. 
    • LoneWolf7
      LoneWolf7 emily52713

      Posted

      Should exercise a little go running, takes some stress off you and helps alot!
  • rachel62244
    rachel62244 emily52713

    Posted

    Iv had all this and the same as you. This time its back and its about thinking child birth will kill me so I need a section but my consultant refuses even though I'm becoming suicidly and mentally unstable. Their answer is to throw prozec at me they have it all so wrong. 
    • Aspinan
      Aspinan rachel62244

      Posted

      Hi Rachel, it's not unreasonable to think that about child birth but I'm sure you know that the incidents of child birth death are so small abd generally due to severe complications, but I know how anxiety hangs on to the negative side.

      Natural child birth is probably the safest option to be fair as the risk of complications after a section including infection are whilst slim are greater.

      im not sure you can insist on an elective section, obviously not.

      I can only suggest you contact your midwife or the hospital and discuss your concerns fully especially the suicidal thoughts and your mental state.

      Nobody has a crystal ball and can tell you everything will be okay and you will be fine but on the balance of probabilities everything is likely to be fine and you will have a lovely baby and be in good heakth throughout the birth and after.

      You might be able to ask them what akternatives there are also such as an epidural (which is much better than a section anyway).

      N 

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