Feel like an absolute useless, worthless, colossal failure.
Posted , 104 users are following.
Right, where do I start?
I'm 26. Male.
Working but on a zero hour contract but usually work the whole week (45 hrs).
That's where the good ends and the real crap begins.
I have no qualifications after getting two C's at A-level. Studying is something I find almost impossible.
I am socially awkward. I'm always afraid of what I said sounded stupid. I actively avoid any form of social activities.
I have zero friends. Yep nobody to hang out with.
Sure I say a few words to work colleagues and I think they genuinely like me but who really knows.
I've never had anything remotely like a romantic relationship and pretty much given up hope of ever finding anyone. I mean who would want to be with me anyway?
I'm boring, stupid, and unsuccessful.
I've tried taking to some girls online but after a a few sentences I can tell I'm being nothing but a boring drag.
I'm a nice guy but that gets me nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. I think I've gotten to the point where if I had a button that would kill every human being on the planet I'd push it.
When it comes to physical work and actually producing visible results at work I'm unstoppable. That's the main reason I'm called in to work as much as I am.
Work is the only good thing going on in my life right now. Without that I don't know what I'd do.
Not a day goes by where I don't think of committing suicide. But I know I won't do it. Not at this moment in time anyway.
My mind often ponders about what would be the best way to kill yourself.
Jump off a building, car wreck, dive off a cliff, hanging, slit wrists, overdose, gunshot to the head (overseas). That's as far as I've gotten.
The topic of death occupies a big part of my daydreaming. I find it fascinating. What happens when you die? Do you just switch off? Do you wake up elsewhere (life doesn't seem real to me, more like a dream). I hardly recognise myself in the mirror. It's more like looking at a stranger.
As if the other day I've started cutting at my arm. Self harm. I never thought I'd end up here.
I'm on anti depressants at the moment. I missed one dose and went very far down hill. Back up today but not fully there. Doubt I ever will be.
I don't even know why I've written all this. It's unlikely posting this here will have any effect for the better.
The best words to describe my current feelings:
Low/down, disconnected/detached, zero self worth, useless, worthless, failure, unwanted.
Of well. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
Regards,
X99
17 likes, 161 replies
sarahannhill X99
Posted
x71182 X99
Posted
Its just i am goin thru the same thing . i feel like i start cry . feeling like a complete looser
9999 x71182
Posted
You are not a loser!💕🙌Depression makes us think like this. 💖💖💖Wish you well!
harry48911 X99
Posted
hey, how are you doing buddy?
I'm 20 now, going through the same feeling! Just an useless person, dont have any friends to hang out with, haven't had a girlfriend, not very good at studies, have no talent, ugly. i dont what to do, feel like suicide is the only option.... Im completely depressed, thinking about drinking poison and sleep...
Patient harry48911
Posted
Hi harry48911
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.
Kindest regards
Patient
9999 harry48911
Posted
Don't do it! It's never the way out. You're so young now maybe you don't have friends now but you'll make some.💕Everyone has a talent you have probably not found yours. You're not good at studies but maybe you are at something else. In another area construction, lol idk but there's many other options. Just try to give it all your best. Wish you all the best! You're not alone either.🙏💖
sameera62823 X99
Posted
rhian77 X99
Posted
I feel You, I've never spoke to anyone but I think I can understand or try to understand what you have got going on x
Kevin_BlueOcean X99
Posted
Hello i'm kevin from Philippines and I think we got the same life except im 23 yrs old now and living with family. I find it hard for myself to live alone especially being introverted because im not confident and brave enough to get out of my comfort zone. Best regards
spencer11 X99
Posted
How I can relate to this so much except that I am absolutely good at nothing. Well, at least you're good with your job.
God, I just wanna disappear.
jason18076 X99
Posted
DashVoid X99
Posted
I'm only in high school and I don't have a job and I'm only in 9th Grade. I feel the exact same way, I feel like this place was only created for me to live in this hell. And whenever I tell someone about that, they always are like "No it's all real!" But I feel like I can't trust them, because what if they are only there to persuade me that this is real and that they want me to live another f*****g 67 years in this s**t hole. I just really want help and I feel like I can't tell anyone that I know in person and that is why I am doing it on here because I want to remain anonymous.
-Sam
shivam14770 X99
Posted
I also want to commit sucide and i am sure that one day i will do it.... coz everybody is selfish..I don’t want to live anymore...
Barla X99
Posted
Hi x99,
I get so emotional reading your message. I can totally relate to your story. I'm socially awkward, feeling dumb and scared to talk to social that I might spit out the wrong words that would make them go away. I have 0 friend. I'm so lonely I'm feeling useless ,hopeless,helpless and wants to end up my life. My life feels so miserable right now. I'm in the point right now where I ask myself. " Why do I even exist in this world. What makes other people lucky enough to be knowledgeable to get along to other people in social life."
Never been in a relationship. I'm 25 female
fiona14691 X99
Posted
I feel a complete failure and what's more i have no support from my family its a case of it your won fault you can't find a job. Thye are emabarressed i havea bit of a mental health problem that actually is around 90% caused by them. Even to the point the coment was made to a nast neighbour of my mothers i had learning difficulties wihta mental health problem of course imbein shunned becasue i could not cope wiht my mother and stoped caring for her and im now being punished becaseut ehy ahve to do their bit.