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Feeling Low

Posted , 13 users are following.

jamie50513
jamie50513

Hello Ladies,

I was really contemplating on wether or not I was going to post because I know I sound like a broken record. But I am feeling so low today. This is one thing that I haven't really dealt with in the last couple of months. I don't want to believe that I'm depressed but maybe I am. I've been questioning so much since all this has started.

I was such a happy person and enjoying life and now all of a sudden I don't know what is going on. When all this madness started about 5 months ago. I didn't know which way to go. Now that some of those symtpoms are gone for now and I finally felt like I was getting back on the path to normalcy, I feel like I'm right back where I started. I have been crying for 3 days now and I don't know why. You would think that since I'm feeling a little better physically that I wouldn't feel so sad.

I tried to handle things on my own as much as I could but I don't think I can handle this anymore. I hate that I feel so sad. I am thinking of talking to a therapist and maybe they can help me sort some things out. I've never dealt with anxiety, depression or anything. My family tells me I'm so skinny, I don't look or act the same. I've been so consumed with trying to figure out what is wrong with me that I can admit that I have let a lot of things go. Docs won't help, they tested everything including my hormones and eveything is normal except me being anemic and I'm getting help for that. My cycles are still somewhat regular so they say no peri. I just don't know anything anymore and I'm so discouraged.

Sorry for the long all over the place post and I really hate to be a downer. Since I don't have a therapist yet, I just needed to get this off my chest.

0 likes, 98 replies

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  • kezzabird30
    kezzabird30 jamie50513

    Posted

    It is a comfort knowing you are all here to help each of us through this. I really am coming back as a man next time round. I have been totally naive and had no idea us women have to go through this. Just wants to make me cry eveb more thinking about what we are going through! xx

     

    • jamie50513
      jamie50513 kezzabird30

      Posted

      You are so right. I can accept the transition has to happen and I'm getting older and I know that comes with adjustments. I just don't want to be in this pathetic state and that's what I feel like. I feel crazy with no answers to anything. I want to help myself but don't know what to treat. I feel bad that my kids ask me all the time am I ok. I tell them yes but they can see that I'm not and they worry. They are too young to worry and I just want them to be kids. My other family members ask me am I ok and when I tell them what's wrong, they tell me go to the doctor which I have done a million times or they are like wow you still don't feel better it's been 5 months. They think I'm just supposed to snap my finger and feel like I used to before all this started. I wish it was that simple.
    • kezzabird30
      kezzabird30 jamie50513

      Posted

      I do find people who are not going through it dont understand. My mum had a hysterectomy at a young age and for some reason she never got any symptoms so she also thinks i am being a drama queen but I know i am not. I too worry about my daughter as she can see how miserable i am and my other half said to me last night that he had not seen me smile for ages and what was wrong with my face! Ie it looked miserable. Please go back to the doctor and demand to be listened to. Its our body, we know what we are feeling and i will not be made to feel stupid or dramatic. I want help and i am dam well going to get it. Would just rather not have to fight the world to get it xx

       

    • sharcerv52408
      sharcerv52408 jamie50513

      Posted

      If you don't mind me asking how old are your kids? Mine are 7 and 2 (about to be 3). It is hard when the kids have to see you like this. The other day I had EMS come and take me to the ER. My daughter was watching TV and just said, "bye mom!" Like it was the norm. That shouldn't be what is normal for her to see at this age. It is not fair that we have to suffer like this!
    • kathy8894
      kathy8894 jamie50513

      Posted

      so right jamie wish we could snap our fingers to get back to our normal selfs!! this is just not me and i hate it and want the old me back!!!
    • kathy8894
      kathy8894 kezzabird30

      Posted

      i agree with you next time i am def coming back as a man too!!! lol just tired of always be sad want the happy days back!

       

    • jamie50513
      jamie50513 kezzabird30

      Posted

      That's how I feel. I feel it's me against the world when it comes to docs. My hormones and thyroid was normal, and my I'm still getting somewhat regular cycles so the docs just totally dismiss peri on top of me being 38 they think I'm too young. So anything I say related to it goes in one ear and out the other. They just think I'm depressed. The whole ordeal is beginning to make me depressed. I have some good days and then some really bad days. Since anything serious has been ruled out I just put it down to hormones. I started journaling my cycles and symptoms to see if there is a pattern and now that's not helping since the symptoms come and go. I just all over the place.
    • kathy8894
      kathy8894 kezzabird30

      Posted

      you are so right if you are not going through it you have no idea how we feel.  my mom and sister had no problems so i just figured that i wouldnt either- boy was i wrong and now they cant understand why i act the way i do. I tell them it is not me but the dumb hormones i try so hard to be happy try so hard to go out and have fun but i just cant do it.  most of all is the weight i am gaining and i am trying SO VERY HARD to watch what i eat and damit i still gain weight!!!! so i hope one day the old happy slim kathy comes back-i do miss her!!!! hugs to all you ladies and hope better days ahead for all of us!!!!!
    • jamie50513
      jamie50513 kathy8894

      Posted

      That's me. Just don't want to be sad. My face always just looks so sad. These crying spells I have never dealt with but I am now.
    • jamie50513
      jamie50513 sharcerv52408

      Posted

      My girls are 11 and 20. The same thing happens to me. I have driven myself to the ER dozens of times, I have had EMS take me the ER several times as well. They have been to my home so much that my kids just say bye to me the same way your daughter did. When I have the anxiety attacks my oldest just holds my hands and tells me Im alright. EMS and the hospital ER staff know me now. When I come in they just say you know the routine. I have not been in two months now. My mom told me to stop going and making bills for myself when they test everything and keep telling me I'm fine. The last doc there told me I was just anxious and to see a psychiatrist. So now I just muddle my way through and see the doctor when it's something new that I'm concerned about. Then I feel bad doing that because they tell me it's not hormones, I'm too young, and need see a therapist for depression. I feel like a animal chasing my own tail in circles.
    • michelle46271
      michelle46271 jamie50513

      Posted

      I really sympathise with you. My mum says the same 'the doctor will be fed up with you' Believe me I don't want to be going to the doctors all the time . I want to be out enjoying myself again. I've forgotten what it's like now
    • kezzabird30
      kezzabird30 jamie50513

      Posted

      Hi jamie, I hope today is better for you honey. I did want to say what a great idea re the journal. I am going to arm myself with this ready for my doctors appoitment. Please dont give up with the doctors, keep trying all of them until you find one sympathetic to you xx Sending hugs

       

    • jamie50513
      jamie50513 kezzabird30

      Posted

      Thank you so much. Journaling helps to keep up with what's going on. When I don't, I end up talking to the doc never telling them what I need to. So it helps. I have a follow up appointment with my new GP the last week of April. I will see what happens by then.
  • sharcerv52408
    sharcerv52408 jamie50513

    Posted

    Hi Jamie!

    I understand how you feel. I have been going the same thing more or less. I have lost weight too during peri. It is depressing the crazy symptoms we get. I go to ER and have tests run and thankfully all comes back normal. However I still feel like I'm losing it most times. I do have some good days every now and again but those are few and far between.

    Last week I caught a stomach virus from my daughter which aggravated my heartburn terribly. That of course triggered anxiety and depression. It is a viscous cycle. You wonder when is this all going to be over?

    Nonetheless I hope you're feeling better soon! Talking on this forum has helped me with a lot.

    • jamie50513
      jamie50513 sharcerv52408

      Posted

      Thank you, I hope we all get some relief soon. I just hate that we have to feel so bad going through it. I'm glad that nothing is seriously wrong and when I start to think positive in that way, something comes around and knocks me two steps back in my thinking. I used to have little aches and pains but never worried or got anxious the way I am now. I feel I have no control of anything.
    • sharcerv52408
      sharcerv52408 jamie50513

      Posted

      I was the same way. Young, vibrant and secure in who I was. Then peri hit and knocked me down on my butt! I used to have full luxurious long hair and was nicely shaped in all the right areas. Now my hair is shorter and has thinned out. My weight goes up and down, mostly down and I have lost curvature in some areas. It seems we are left to muddle through this all by ourselves because doctors are clueless!
    • michelle46271
      michelle46271 sharcerv52408

      Posted

      Poor you . I have only just joined this site. What a help. I didn't think there was anyone out there like me,lol. I'm so fed up with so many symptoms 😕
    • jamie50513
      jamie50513 sharcerv52408

      Posted

      That was me. I loved to dress and buy clothes. Me and my daughter shopped together get our manis and pedis together, and I'm a licensed stylist that used to keep my hair up. Now it's dry and brittle and I wear a hat all the time. I've lost weight so I just stick to a few outfits. I don't put on make up or nail polish anymore. Just haven't had the desire to do so. The only thing helps lift my mood is my kids being silly at times and when the sun is shining. It had gotten so bad that I only go places that are close to home. I just want to be normal again.
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