Finally admitted I have a problem

It will be hard at times Helen. But well done for 2 days and for being open with your husband. Possibly you may benefit from meds but there are some who have done it without, such as Robin. 

Months ago i was the same as you, hiding bottles and drinking like mad. The effect it had on me and my family was devastating. Without going into a long story, i lost my family for a while. They moved out and everything. There is nothing that can describe that feeling trust me, all down to me drinking. It just isnt worth it. Everyone i believe has there own rock bottom and for me that was it.

But while there were some blips along the way, my family and I are now getting back together. Moving to Scotland with them over the weekend! I am determined that there will never be any drink again. 

I didnt do meds myself but did attend support groups and a councillor. Yes it has been hard but it can be done. I think like Robin has often said, you want to get to that point where you can walk down tesco wine asile and not feel tempted. 

This forum offers a lot of help, all very supportive. I never would have got through the last four months without it to be honest. It sounds like you have a lot on your shoulders in terms of helping family and all that, maybe its time to step back and think of YOU for a while. 

There are various books that may offer support to you such as '' stop drinking now'' by allen carr. I read this back to back. Im not saying its a miracle but it does make you see drink in general differently. It will be ok hun, somehow you can get there. Also mind if you feel tempted to maybe say to your hubby. It helps to maybe make you just not do it at that moment. When you have got used to drinking so often there are points when you stop when the ''voice'' comes back in your head telling you its ok. But i have found that it does pass after a few hours maybe, so important to keep busy and as i say be open with your husband. Use this forum if your tempted too. We are all here for you. I hope you keep in touch xxx

Thank you Sharon thank god I've admitted it before I destroyed my family the kids just think I like a glass of wine. They've shown concerns over the years but theyve no idea of the extent of how bad it's got as they've left home. Good luck with your move and well done to you x

You will get there in your own way... take it day by day and eventually the days add up. As i call it, dont let the ''voice'' take over. I know what you mean about being an all or nothing person and i agree stopping all together is the only way. Not only was i drinking moat days but also one was never enough. My partner and i used to row about it all the time... id promise to stop and then a few weeks later, back on it again. But no more. Your family, health and well being are whats important. Try the book i mentioned maybe. Like i say we all have helped each other on this. Brilliant people! Take care x

I don't want to sound unhelpful and it's probably just me, but why do you feel paying for a private counsellor is fine, but telling a free doctor fills you with dread and humiliation? What's the difference, apart from forking out paying someone.

Medical records. I don't want it to be on my records

Fair enough, that's your choice and I respect you for that. All I will say is that, from personal experience once alcohol has taken control, what's on your medical records won't bother you. In fact you won't even think about it. Pride, humiliation, self worth is peanuts compared to the desperation and degradation you'll go to in order to get a drink.

Sorry if you think that's hard, but when you have literally crawled on all fours to the dustbin to drain what might be left in a bottle that's humiliation, not what illness is on your medical records. Don't expect sugar coating from me, and that's to anyone, it's about time mental health problems are not pushed away as a dirty little secret. AUD is an illness like a broken leg, would that be a problem on your medical records? Or would you suggest paying to see someone so it's not on your records

I hear what your saying but it is my choice and I thankfully have the resources to exercise that choice.

As I said previously, yes it's your choice and I respect you for that

Thank you Vicky and I respect you and others find your way too. So long as we succeed then that's the main thing. Good luck

Thank you Gwen I really appreciate the support

Hiya

topping spirits up with water! The times I did that. Was once mortified when OH offered a friend a drink of his very expensive old malt. Problem was it was still in its box, but full of oxo and water. Only similarity was the colour!!

Thankfully only hubby found out.

OMG vicks - I have to laff - your description of oxo and water - did it not go to sediment at the bottom?! lol.  Mine to my OH was cold tea and yes he did offer it to a visitor - mortified like you say. 

Why on earth did we think we'd get away with it?

when friend said yes, I told OH I'd get it as I'd sorted all the cupboards out in the breakfast room and he wouldn't know where it was. Unfortunately (accidentally on purpose!),  I dropped the bottle on the granite tiles. I wouldn't let anyone help me as I didn't want them cutting themselves. Nothing to do with the smell of cold oxo!!

Yes I can laugh now

God knows ...he poured himself a vodka and tonic the other week and it was all water. TBH how he hadn't twigged what was going on I don't know. He knows everything now though so he will help me.

Hahaha oh Vicks, I had to laugh at that. Oxo and water! That's a good one.

Glad your still ok. We arexx

JulieAnne

There was no sediment. There was at first, so I strained it through a Muslim cloth, job done

hi Julie-Anne 

so so pleased to hear TSM is working. Glad your dinner party went well

Yeah TSM still working, Yay! Coming up to his danger time now; 3 months. No reason why the Naltrexone should suddenly stop working, its a psychological hurdle we need to clear x

Oh god - if it was not so serious I would p++ myself laughing.  You could be a detective - bet you wiped your fingerprints off as well.