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Found out girlfriend of 5 months has herpes- HSV2

Posted , 44 users are following.

BummerKC
BummerKC

Good afternoon,

Yesterday was quite the day.  I've always had a fear of STDs, I'm not sure why, I'm just a germo.  I've gotten better as I've gotten older, but I've tried to be careful to protect myself.  Yesterday, my girlfriend received test results from her gyno appointment.  She apparently requested a full battery of tests, to try and fully ease my mind as we discussed my worries in the past and she was confident she didn't have anything.  Well, it turns out she test positive for HSV2.  Bummer.  We've been dating for 5 months, probably have sex about 3 times a week on average.  We have used condoms every time except twice.  She was quite shocked, as was I.  I didn't, and don't know what to say.  Statistically speaking, I know the odds I contracted it are very small.  Most of the data I've read indicate somewhere around 2% per year from female to male with regular condom use.  I believe her when she says she didn't know she had it, else why come clean now.  

I guess the point of this thread...I'm searching for advice.  Has anyone dealt with this situation?  I'm sure they have.  Finding out down the road that their partners has herpes.  What did you do?  What mental steps did you take to move forward?  What options do I have?

As far as I can figure if I want to try and stay with her, perhaps just suggesting we don't have sex while I sort through this is a good approach.  I care a lot for her, but I'm also realistic.  Taking the risk of contracting it (assuming I haven't already) is a big risk even if statistically small as women I'd date in the future I'd obviously have to tell assuming I tested positive.  I've always had trouble connecting with others, so limiting the future dating pool sounds like a bad choice.  ANY thoughts are appreciated.  My brain can't seem to spit them out.  Thank you.

0 likes, 71 replies

71 Replies

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  • feelbroken
    feelbroken BummerKC

    Posted

    Hahaha! God you are trash!!! So pathetic you are.... You really are...ml bravo, what a man you are, talking to a woman the way you do... Bottom of the pond scum you are. Thanks for the good laugh today! I needed this ans it was great! Very amusing... Very
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken

      Posted

      Sorry bummerkc.... This post was meant for that trash box Frankie-man-sissified .... Posts were jumping around. I know you vs found peace in all this, because you haven't been on here in a long time and now a pathetic soul who is internet trolling, because he's a low life has started running what your post was for and about... Sorry about that bro... Pay no mind. Hope all is well w you ans your girl and your anxiety hasn't been getting the best of you. Hope your other condition is not causing too much higher either. Take care hun and I'm here like you know. Hugs.
  • currychic
    currychic BummerKC

    Posted

    I get what your saying and if I am totally honest if my BF had have had the decentancy to tell me he had herpes instead of just letting me catch it I would have walked away from that relationship but I was 19 at the time so i had my whole life ahead of me. Be grateful you have found out before you got infected and now you have the choice to stay or go. I wish i had been given that option. I know what i am saying will sound cold and harsh to some people but it is what it is and i am sure if we were all given the option to not be infected we would choose to not be. like i said i got it at 19 and it has ruined my life,and i always wonder what my life would have been like. as it is and i guess it because of my own attitude i am single didnt have kids. purely because i feared rejection and people talking about me as the girl with herpes. I never trusted anyone enough to keep my secret not even my best friends.
    • stressed
      stressed feelbroken

      Posted

      Hello hi out of curiosity did you find out bummerkc results?
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken stressed

      Posted

      His gf or his? He was concerned about her having it.... We chatted some in private messages, but nothing more but his struggles. I think I checked in on him some time back and he didn't respond... Why, what's up?
    • stressed
      stressed feelbroken

      Posted

      Wait I'm confused his go as he quoted had herpes 2 for sure but the question is did he get it passed to him?
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken stressed

      Posted

      No it didn't get passed to him as far as he knew. This is 3 months old.

      This post is old and popped back up because of a nasty internet troll who posted. it's old and he's not been on here for awhile.

    • currychic
      currychic feelbroken

      Posted

      49 single no kids and often wonder what if. Ihad a few negative reactions when i finally got the courage to tell a boyfriend so i guess i just gave up
  • phil6736096
    phil6736096 BummerKC

    Posted

    I don't know if you are still with her but you answered your own question. I dated a girl I fell in love with then she told me she had herpes and it lead ultimately to our demise. To many people out there without herpes. And you will worry yourself sick stressing about it. To the point you will be fighting over it indirectly. Take care. Health is the greatest wealth. And your sexual bill of health is most important
  • phil6736096
    phil6736096 BummerKC

    Posted

    He never said he didn't support her and shame on bummerkc? Why? At least he is posting a ? That I am outdatedly answering . he could have shallowly just ended it with her. You don't have to judge her on it and you staying with her won't be based on the overall social stigma to herpes. It will be to the fact you don't wanna contract it. Trust me. I loved the girl but herpes consumed my mind being with her. Then when I would eat her super tiny tight vagina. Which was the nicest one I've seen, it was so hard to let her go. But the thought of getting it consumed me. And I thought what of it got on my face and mouth. And I work in a sales environment....kapesh?
  • FancyN
    FancyN BummerKC

    Posted

    I wonder what choice you made, did you stay or go?
  • Toodone
    Toodone BummerKC

    Posted

    Omg!!! If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were my ex-bf. The only difference is he was the only person I'd been with in almost 15 years. I was celibate for 8 of those years but he tested negative. So the dr said I must have contracted it prior to 15 years ago. I was always careful & paranoid about contracting something(obsessively so) i have never had any symptoms and still haven't had any. I have gone every year to get my pap and in the 8 years that I was celibate, I didn't feel there was a need to test for std's. So when we started back, it just so happened that I had my yearly coming up and I asked my dr to test for everything (Absolutely not worried about anything) to my surprise, I tested positive for 2, sure that it had to be a mistake, I immediately retested and again it came back positive. In shock, disbelief and denial, I had a 3rd test called a western blot which not only confirmed the other tests but also confirm hsv1. He has been my best friend for more than 25 years and now he's very cold and distant. Of course the relationship part is over and I'm extremely hurt but worse, I think the friendship may be over too. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life but I have no clue how to begin picking up all these pieces and making sense of something that doesn't make any sense. Im freaking out, I'm afraid, I'm sad, I'm lonely and I feel completely and utterly alone. If you care about your gf at least be there for her. Don't let her have to sort this out alone. It's painful enough.

    I hope your situation turns out better than mine.

  • kenneth57797
    kenneth57797 BummerKC

    Posted

    Have you had a test? Perhaps she caught this from you, the fact is the majority of the population has one or the other. And you gave to ask for the herpes tests they are not standard. It should not affect your decision to be with someone
  • christy14815
    christy14815 BummerKC

    Posted

    Most people have HSV, (statistics vary), but something like 70% to 80% of the human population have some form of HSV. If you've ever had chicken pox, then you have an HSV virus living in your lower spinal nerves. So if you break up with this woman, there is a likelihood that your next partner also has HSV. You might already have it, but not necessarily from this girlfriend. In other words, HSV is a reality for most humans. You and your girlfriend have the advantage of knowing about it and can educate yourselves. 

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