Have herpes, unprotected sex

Ma I ask how things went? I'm in similar boat.

could I have a question about your antiviral medication?

You say you keep up with your meds - are you taking the antiviral medication continuously or only when you have prodroms/symptoms? Aren´t there side effects (on liver or so) after long time use? And most importantly, have you been taking it during your pregnacy(ies)? I would like to know if it is any dangerous to take aciclovirs during pregnancy,as research seems to be non-conclusive about the matter at this point...

I have been married for 10 years, we have 2 beautiful children and i caught herpes 2 months ago....coming from oral sex that i received from my husband and its cold sore (who wasn't there at the moment but i guess he was shedding the virus and i gave birth 2 months before that so i guess i wasn't totally cured...)

I have been wondering how we would have a normal sex life and another kid (because i want a third and maybe a forth one!) and i don't know...i didn't want to go back to condoms, neither did i want to gave up on kids and reading you is hopefull...thank u for that!

Thanks for posting

J x

I see your post is a month old, and I am not certain if you will even read this as it so long ago now,  but I felt I HAD to write you as my 'story' is so very similar to yours and I want to offer you some reassurance.

In 1996, 20 years ago (yikes! Time goes fast!) I had the exact thing happen to me.  My husband has mouth cold sores that break out a few times a year.  We were just kids (19) at the time and did not realize oral cold sores even WERE herpes!  And like you and your hubby, we had had a baby a few months earlier in November.   We frequently had oral sex and one day I was sore/had stinging pain in vaginal area.  I, and my hubby looked and  saw blisters!  I went immediately to doctor who did culture and within a few days I got diagnosis of genital herpes, type HSV1.  My husband's cold sore that he got a few times a year in the corner of mouth was also found to be HSV1.   I was upset over whole thing for months (and it affected the happiness I should have had with our new baby) as I was afraid I would break out all the time, wondered the consequences, felt dirty!  Finally, near hysterics, I insisted in referall to Infectious Disease specialist.  He  explained to us that since my husband already had HSV1 orally that he (hubby) would not - could not - also develop it genitally.  And vice versa for me - I could not develop it orally since I had genitally.   We both shared the same virus, just in different areas of our body.  None the less, we BOTH equally had developed antibodies to the same virus and had same virus 'stored' in our bodies.  I was also informed at that time (and many more times over the years), that when HSV1 (typically an ORAL virus) develops on genitals, it rarely causes frequent or severe repeat outbreaks because the HSV1 virus is not in it's "preferred" place.  HSV2 is the type of virus that prefers the genitals. I assume you and hubby share the HSV1 type since your hubby had it orally, but I have read that while uncommon, oral herpes has been found orally. If you have not been tested, you both could get tested, even without an outbreak, as the doctor can order simple serum antibody testing for both of you which will show if you and your husband have had HSV1 or/and HSV2. Even if you both had the HSV2 - which is unlikely, it still would not alter your life tremendously (except that you MIGHT have more outbreaks genitally from HSV2 vs. HSV1) because regardless of type, your husband and you still cannot re-infect the other as long as you both have the same type as the other. 

Over 20 years, I NEVER took any meds, to my knowledge never once broke out, have had 7 more babies w/o problems, always refused meds drs wanted me to take in last trimester (not recommending it as if you did have outbreak, it is c-section) and of course, husband never contracted genital herpes as he already has the virus 'stored' on his mouth.  Over the years, I kinda felt like the whole "OMG! HERPES!" was a joke.  I know it is not and some people have frequent breakouts, but there are those like myself who never have problems either. Maybe I will have break out someday, but won't spend a minute worrying about it.  And I hope you don't either!   I was terrified when it first happened and wasted months worrying!  If I only knew!  I usually don't even remember I have it.  My husband and I split up for a few years (and then reconciled and remarried..lol) and I got together with ex boyfriend from HS for 2 years with frequent sex (never protection) and he never caught it either.  I did tell him but we had had sex many times by time I even remember I was a herpes carrier!  Once I told him, he did got tested and was negative for any HSV. I hope this helps you and makes you rest a little easier. Think of it as a benign skin condition that likely will give you little if any problems. Ask your DR about the fact that you and hubby both have same virus and unless I was lied to by my DRS, your DR will tell you that nothing needs to change between you and him as you can't give virus to someone who already has it!  DON'T SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WORRYING ABOUT IT!   My life "after herpes" did not change at all except for 1st outbreak and KNOWING and FEAR that I had herpes - which I think is the worst part of this nasty virus for anyone!

the outbreaks won't be as bad as the first and will be less frequent xxx

Im coming to the end of my first outbreak now x

You just gave me hope! question, has he ever gave you oral sex?

Dear Madison,

You're story gives me so much hope to pick up the pieces and carry on with my life. I recently contracted genital herpes hsv 1 from oral sex, my partner didn't disclose this with me before we got intimate and is still indenial that he gave me this which is annoying. I'm really Just scared for future relationships, my life is just starting (recently turned 18) and the fact that I have to deal with this bump in the road is holding me back from true happiness. Anyways thank u for sharing your story, it's a good reminder that there's hope for All of us.

Hello I been with my bf for a little over 5 yrs I found out about 2yrs ago I had hsv1 and 2 he have been very surportive very but he love for me to give him oral Sex but he can't seem to want to give me oral Sex. I asked what's the difference and he said that he got tested that he doesn't have Herps but he never showed me the test results I told him as soon as I found out about mys I think I got it from my ex husband even though he haven't said anything about it we were together for 15 yrs so what Im asking is can he still give oral Sex to me with out caughtin hsv1. Please help I miss oral Sex so much but I love him more if I had to do with out I can. Thanks in advance for the help

What meds do you take? My ex gave me herpes without him having a breakout which is called shedding. He didn't know he got it from the girl he cheated on me with till I had an extreme breakout and ended up with a catheter for two weeks. I still have breakout but now bad but frequently. I just started talking to a guy but I'm afraid to get close to him because of this. I'm trying to find out to have some what of a normal life. What are the best meds to take so when I do decide to have sex not spread it

Yes. My son sleeps wit me & ive had several outbreaks. Don't sleep naked & make sure you're covered up. Catching herpes is skin to skin contact

Hi carol, thank you for this reply, I'm so worried that I could pass it on to my kids I just recently diagnosed with herpes, my wife knows about it and she was furious about it because she know s it's not from her, please let me know how do I take care of myself not to get my kids infected, I'm hoping for your reply

I really needed to read your post Carol. I just found out yesterday that I have HSV 1 and 2 and I've been devastated. I have a boyfriend and he has been staying positive and saying it's not the end of the world. I don't even want to kiss him because I would feel responsible if he got anything. But seeing that you found someone who can look past it gives me hope. Thank you so much!!

Are you on suppressive medication a lot of daily..??? Do you take them often atleast? I asked my doctor if I could do that but she wouldn't let me she said i don't need it.

This is inspiring Thank you

We have the same situation I am still 18 but it feels like the end of the world for me ;(

We actually have almost the same story, I have it just recently

So if u take your meds u can have unprotected sex and will your partner catch it if you don't have a out break??

Carol... If you have an outbreak how long do you wait to have sex? I've had two outbreaks consisting of one sore each time. The second never became an ulcer. Only a red bump so the severity is decreasing. But once the bump is gone is sex ok? Or do i wait x number of days after the sore clears?

My boyfriend of 7 years probably has it and may have given to me but is asymptomatic. However we aren't sure and while he doesn't care about catching it, i don't want to put him at additional risk in case he is hsv free.

Thank you so much for that I'm 40 no children and I have 1 and 2 ashamed to say I don't know where it came from.But I'm at the age where I'm ready to have children but I walk around in constant shame because of my diagnosis.I feel like no woman will ever accept me or wanna start a family with me and I wanna be honest and upfront with with this person.Feels like I'm doomed to be a single lonely man and I'm a really handsome great guy alone it makes me sad.Is there a future for a guy like me?

Do you get OBs? I was diagnosed 9 mos ago and have had 3 OBs, none for last 4 mos. If I had more OBs, I think I'd feel much like you. I'm 35yo female ready to have kids too. I take loads of vitamins and eat healthy. This I feel reduces or eliminates (yet to be seen over more time) my OBs.

Yes Im actually having one right now and just got tired of feeling alone and wanted to try something different.I take great vitamins and daily and this is actually the second one in 30 days.its not bad but I know what's going on down there.😔 Before these two it had been at least 7 months.One guy says stress contributes and ive got my share of that.i actually get so down about this topic that it brings me to tears.i wanna see me in my children raise them and watch them grow with someone special.

Hi Genuine,

There's so many people who go on with this to have kids and be happy. Glad to hear you're taking a healthy approach to dealing with this. Ever been to a Naturopath Dr? Look into it, it's said it's possible to boost the immune system enough to even clear the virus. I thjnk you're on the right track getting into forums here, talking to other people living with it. Have you done much of that elsewhere online? There's som really great stories out there on readit and others. Patient doesn't allow us to post links to other sites in the forums. Get over that hump and out there with open arms for the love waiting for you. If you do run into some rejection, don't let it stop you and move on to the next. I'm 35, no kids and my reproductive years are running out but that doesn't discourage me.

Hi Carol,

I just was just tested and I stage 2 herpes I have a daughter I'm scared too kiss her or her to even touch me cause I'm scared I'm pass it too her how do you do it with children and also I'm in a new relationship I want too tell him but I'm just scared that I found the right person that I am going too loose him and my business will be exposed but I know it wouldn't but I'm just scared to say anything this is my first our break i don't even know if he gave it too me or did I already have it and I finally just now having a our break. But also I'm still young I want more kids how were you able too do so with the virus and I know this could be a little personal but also did you have too stop having oral sex?? Thank you I know it's a lot thanks for your time...

Hi Ashley,

I'm sorry you're going through all this it gets better believe me. I felt my life had no chance of being happy when I was diagnosed in October 2016. By December I was feeling far better. Herpes 2 refers to herpes strain 1 or 2, not stage. During any herpes OB I guess there's a prodrome (pre-OB stage with tingling, itch, and increased viral shedding) stage, blister stage, lesion stage, scabbing stage.

After you've had your first OB, there's usually no concern to pass it to children through pregnancy/birth because you give your newborn temporary antibodies that protect against transmission during birth. Just be sure to mention it to your doc.

Yiu can still enjoy all sex acts you enjoy now, just usually considered best to refrain from all sex during OB, to not irritate the lesions and prolong the OB. Also to reduce risk of transmission if your partner doesn't have it. Not everyone agrees we even need to abstain during OB. Long as it isn't painful (be gentle and location of the blister helps) and if the blister/s don't get rubbed on too much, it doesn't seem to prolong them or make more. I still have oral sex any time I would have sex. if your OB is only genital, the home to your herpes is your lower spine, if you get OBs orally, it lives in your upper spine. There is some risk to contact spread (called self infect) to the mouth/upper spine. Seems this may be what happened to me. Don't think I ever had oral cold sores before but have had them twice since diagnosis. So oral sex COULD have spread them there.

Thank you so much Sarah this has been the most trying few weeks I have been feeling very low like my life was over and just listening too everyone's stories makes me feel better and let's me know I'm not alone and it will get better I just have to take care of my health a lot better too stay healthy and enjoy life we all make mistakes it's just a wake up call for us too do better and make sure our children don't make the same mistakes thank you this put my nerves at ease a little but thank you i appreciate this and if I have concerns I will be sure too ask thank you