Hyper awareness to my existence

I've literally had the same experience aware that I am so alive. I think I have been dissociated from my body and now I realise that I am trapped in my body, and see the world through my body not through some wider lens. I am more aware that my body is the mechanism through which I live and comprehend the world, and i now see myself as the most important person to myself, because without me the nothing will exist to me without my body. I used to see through the lens of some 3rd eye or as if I wasn't in my body.

hey there. how are you doing these days with this situation? what you are going through is a shift in conciousness which is also known as a spiritual awakening its really scary at first because your ego mind is trying to stay attached to the material world and material reality. it eventually passes and you will see the world tor what it really is which is the greatest expwrience someone could ever feel. im also going through this and it sucks but have been through it before a few years ago. the key is to stay busy and try to live your normal life and stay away from researching it

are you through it all now?

i feel this all the time and it is the most consuming feeling i could ever imagine. its the only thing i think about and when I'm not having a panic attack, I spend my time worrying that I'm gonna have one. No one I have ever met has ever felt like this and my brain loves to convince me that I'm crazy. i haven't found a way to really deal with it yet. I'm only fifteen but I'm glad to know other people feel this way

i feel the exact same way and i feel so overly aware of my emotions and what im doing to the point i feel like im just spectating and not a person if that makes sense.. sometimes ill be perfectly fine and then all the sudden im thinking about every little thing, its so scary

I never thought that someone else would know how i feel but you do. Does it mess with your memory too, like you focus so much on this feeling of being in third person that it consumes your brain. You're there, but it's not the same you. Did you starting panic attacks recently? That might have something to do with it

I've felt this way every so often since i was a little kid. Right now its been happening more often. i get struck with this feeling of " Is this real?" " Am i really conscious and in the right body?" Its very strange

hey so I just seen this and this is exactly how I feel. I don't know why or what causes it , but I have had it since I was a child. the best way to explain it to someone is I can look around and feel werid that I'm alive. I know that may seem strange, but it seems any one I talk to about it thinks I sound crazy. maybe I am I don't know I hate feeling like that though

okay i know im like EXTREMELY late but maybe someone will pass by (as i did) and my answer could help them(as yours did).

so ive been feeling this "dissociation" thing since im like very young like sometimes i will suddenly look at my hand be like "ok this is me,im existing,its my body and it's so freaking weird" i couldn't really put words into that feeling until today when i read that some of the ppl here experienced it as well. it's just weird and i don't know how i get out of that feeling or how i get into it,it's so sudden and frustrating i hate it. I can't help thinking "so this is who i am? that me in that body and im talking to pp,ppl are also talking to me and ive got a family" and i become aware of every aspect of my life as if it was the first time for me to encounter those thing.

Yeah I have felt this, I get generally scared of being alive and scared of dying. I question what I would be after I died, what's going to happen to me? and I get scared of what I was before living, If I wasn't alive where would I be right now? what would I be right now? What does it feel like to not exist? I'm scared of being alone I ask myself How scared am I going to be after my parents pass away? Am I going to be alone after I die?

And then I have a meltdown. I know that there's nothing I can do about it.

I could actually cry. This sounds exactly like what I have experienced since I was really young. Not a single person--friend, family, therapist, or psychiatrist--has been able to understand what I'm talking about. For years I have tried desperately to google my symptoms and this is the first time I have finally found something that sounds like me. I've been told it's panic disorder, existential crises, derealization/depersonalization, OCD, and just anxiety. I'm an adult and have not tried to google it for a long time but am glad I decided to again. Mine almost always happen at night, when I start to think too hard about who/what I am, what life is, and oh my god I'm in a body and alive and terrified and now I am panicking and crying. It always builds and builds until it's full-blown panic where I feel like I'm insane, but usually goes away within a minute. Thankfully I got medicated years ago and the meds for some reason seem to help me de-escalate myself when my thoughts go there. It's almost like the meds help me keep from overthinking and allowing myself to go into that state/stops me before it's too late. But I remember how utterly horrifying the feeling is, and I sometimes get too close for comfort to having them happen again.

Thank you so so so much for posting this. I honestly thought I would never find anyone else who goes through this and felt so alone. I hope one day we get an official diagnosis so I know what's going on and can address it better. But again, thank you. I'm literally crying after finding this, it's such a relief.

Also, the way i describe it to people is it's like I have been suddenly dropped in someone else's body with their thoughts and memories and feelings. It's a very alien feeling, where my brain is basically extremely aware that I am alive and living and omfg am I in a TV show or what even is all this and what is a TV or an animal or a bed or anything?? It just spirals out of control until I'm terrified.

Also to be clear, it is not dissociation. I never have out of body experiences or see my body in a weird way, I'm just suddenly aware that I'm in a body and living life and wondering what life even is. It's less of a detachment from reality the way dissociation is and more of a hyper awareness of reality.

Hi, new to the forum and have just come across this thread which is ringing so true for me. Just wanted to keep the thread alive and see how you are doing. Have you found anything that helps you with this? I am really struggling with similar issues and feel like I'm going insane.

I’m really glad that I found this forum . I experienced a panic attack in 2017 that threw me into severe depersonalization for a long time. Ever since then it has come and gone. But one thing that hasn’t left me is hyper awareness of myself. it is extremely hard to explain to anyone who has never experienced it therefore it can be extremely lonely. The way that it is for me is like there is half of me that just goes about my day normal, my normal personality throughout the day talking, doing things etc. Then there is this other half of me that is extremely aware of everything that I’m doing and even thinking. It’s like I am not completely “locked in“ to myself. I don’t remember what it’s like to just function every day without noticing or examining everything that I do. It makes it very difficult to live every day simple life. I was taking medication that I feel was too high for me and making me very drowsy and disconnected, so lowering that medication has helped some. But I still get very depressed and sad sometimes that I am cursed with this and that I can’t just live a “normal life“. I get very triggered by looking in the mirror. I know that it’s me but I don’t recognize myself necessarily. I have a deep rooted fear that something is significantly wrong with me, that I will end up alone in a mental institution, I am afraid of death and what comes after. I have significant religious trauma so I think that might have something to do with it. It feels like every day I wake up and I’m fighting in my head against anxiety and the fears that I have of going crazy. luckily my partner is very understanding about this and she tries to sympathize with me as much as she can. Sometimes I joke about it to make light of it. I believe that this is something that I’m just going to have to accept. There are times where it isn’t present, but as soon as I notice that it’s not there it comes back. I don’t typically create accounts or join forums like this but I don’t want to feel alone anymore and this was the most comforting thing I found online so far because it seems that other people can relate to my experience.

I'm not sure if this is relevant or not, so I apologise before hand.

You know when you have a child, and you have this overwhelming love? You know when you meet someone and you have this overwhelming feeling "this is the one"? You know when someone or something like your dog passes on, you feel broken, you miss them, you cry, shout, have this overwhelming pain? You remember the way they smelt, their voice, how you felt when you hugged them?? I've never felt this way, I've always felt like I just existed. Yet I'm afraid to leave the house on my own. then randomly I have this overwhelming feeling of being aware of everything. But it only lasts for a few moments.