I can't take it anymore!! Perimenopause horrible..HELP!
Posted , 336 users are following.
I am 48 years old, stay at home mom with two children. They are in school, I try to keep myself very busy. I have had OCD and anxiety, I have been fighting it for years. But, now the Perimenopause is really terrible..depressed, mood swings, tension headaches, dry and itchy skin.
I have spoken to my sisters who are all past Menopause, they tell me their stories but I just cannot believe that hormones can cause all this havock. I do not feel myself at all, my PMS is worse and the week of my period I actually feel like I have a disease and I am dying. Feel like I am going crazy!! Please tell me if this is normal to feel this way at this time, because I am obsessing and cannot get my mind off of it. Need Help!!!!
32 likes, 739 replies
didi0613 jennifer85396
Posted
mary75120 jennifer85396
Posted
I feel all your pain. Since the beginning of this year I have felt like death each time I have had my period. Not just the usual bloody awful period pains, but another layer on top of it, a sort of generalized feeling lousy, and the two combined finish me off. Periods are also closer together (not welcome) Quite often this lousy feeling has occurred at weekends and I have had to go to bed from Friday night to Monday morning. I now work 7 days a week, so don't quite know how that is going to pan out long term, but just have to grit my teeth and get on with it, as at present I have no choice.
I never had children, as my period problems have always been so bad (from the age of 10) that at 16 I thought "I can't deal with a child and this as well". I have tried supplements, healthy diet, painkillers etc...nothing works, except a bottle or two of wine and going to bed. I never used to drink, but for decades all I wanted to do was cry, all the time, I just couldn't stop crying - and had a bloated churning stomach the whole time too. Alcohol fixed that to some degree, nothing the Doc prescribed did any good and in any case I am against medication. Always had stomach problems since puberty, horrendous spastic bowel problems, to this day can't drink any beverages EXCEPT wine as all of them, including water, churn my stomach (!). I also have fibroids which have possibly grown larger in recent years, so digestion is something of a nightmare. Solution is to eat when I'm hungry, stop when I'm full and avoid sweet foods and fruit.
Woke up late today (alarm clock didn't go off) and I am NEVER late - was on the verge of crying, had to literally jump out of bed, pull some clothes on and run down the road to work, no time for a shower but ironically (even though I have been sweating for England) I feel cleaner than when I DO actually have a shower (I can shower as much as I like these days and 5 minutes later think "what was the point"
.
I woke up yesterday with a thumping heart and I thought I was going to have a coronary/ die, coffee is not kind to me right now but without it I feel dozy. Had my first hot flush 2 years ago (drenched), definetely much increased body temperature, less drive than I used to have, save energy for the most important things (like work). Come home and go straight to bed most nights. Very little interest in having romantic relationships, but this could just be because I have other issues going on right now/ have been disappointed in the past. Sensitive/ itchy skin (thought I had an allergy).
I have thought I was premenopausal for a while, but am gobsmacked to read the comments on this site. Men really, really don't realize how good they've got it without all this constant hormonal s*** going on.
sharon1984 mary75120
Posted
Hi Mary,
I can totally understand your situation. I too, had very difficult periods in my twenties and thirties. They were debilitating, and though I agree with you on medication, I did give in to taking larger doses of Ibuprofen combined with heating pads for a oouple days a month to alleviate some of the pain.
My periods in my early forties actually became easier to deal with, but I did not realize what was waiting around the corner, that being,after 45. From 45-50, my periods were twice the pain and fatigue as those earlier years, peaking in intensity at 48-49 yrs. And like you said, I was getting them more frequently, which I think, might be less common. It seems more women get them less frequently. I'm 50 now and do not get pain much because I finally am not getting the periods, but I still have some pretty heavy fatigue.
I too, did not have children and I actually believe this may have been, at least, part of the problem. I know that women with children do have period and meno problems, but I sincerely believe that women with no children sometimes have it stronger. The reason I say this, is I have talked with numerous friends, who when I talk about my peri and meno symptoms, replied that I am describing what they felt like before they had several children. They had tough periods before but they said once they had multiple pregnancies, their symptoms were not quite as bad. Most women don't want to talk about or admit this, but women's bodies were made to conceive children. There are always exceptions- women who can't have them due to low estrogen, fertility etc..). But when you don't have children and you are fertile- I think your hormones can get even more screwed up and your symptoms can get worse. My body was made to have children-my mother had twins and my grandmother had 10 children! We are fertile
My mother did have a tough menopause but not quite as bad as mine, Women can't win period. 
There are all sorts of unwanted health things, different from bad periods, that women deal with during and after pregnancies. For example, my mother has a severely disfigured stomach and abdomen due to a difficult twin pregnancy delivery back in the 60's. I also think it can be genetic too, whether you have difficult periods and difficult meno.
I thought like you, how could I handle children when I feel like this in my twenties and thirties? But I think having children could have helped, at least maybe a little. I came from a tough and abusive family situation, so I also did not want any children due to that. But if I had to do it over again, I would have made the effort to get out earlier and make an effort and maybe a family would have come. I was caught in a domestic family abuse situation and it is my fault for taking so long to get out.
Anyways, all in the past, and it is what it is. I hope you find some comfort in alleviating your symptoms. Massage, epsom salt baths and going on gentle walks helps my overall mental health.
It can all be so overwhelming-meno, job, health, etc.. ( I also help take care of 2 elderly parents now-very challenging)
And men, like you said, often do not understand.
I suppose we will all get through it. Know and find comfort that others understand what you are going through. Like they say "this, too, shall pass" --(though it is taking a really long time!). Take care- Sharon
leoniejean jennifer85396
Posted
Hi Jennifer, Im going through the same things. I've started bio identical progesterone cream you can buy pretty much anywhere on line. It has been helping and for all of you out there, look it up
colleen90305 leoniejean
Posted
I bought the progestrone cream and was using it daily then a few days I was so fatiqued and stopped it. I honestly dont think it was the cream that caused the tiredness now, and should probably resume the use. How long have you been using it now?
notsure47790 jennifer85396
Posted
This was posted a year ago but I need to vent.
I too feel like I cannot take it any more. I feel a wide array of symptoms. Fatigue is big! I am sleepy all the time and in the evening I feel ill from fatigue. I feel waek, skin is dull, all kinds of indigestion problems, achy all over, brain fog, sweat and I don't smell like myself, sometimes I get tingling and numbness all over, but anxiety and depression have been bad. I went to the doctor- to a few. They say it is not perimenopause but don't know what it is. I am 35. I have 1 ovary and no thyroid gland. All removed before the age of 30. My periods still come. The last one was late 10 days. But they say it is all normal and it is not peri. I want to be normal and be able to take good care of my kids. I push myself to the limit and have no strenght left for nothing else. I feel ans look at least 10 years older than I am. I feel sad about that. I am such a lousy partner to my husband
! I wqnt to be strong and normal. I am not even shure if it is peri. My doctors just don't pay attention and I feel like I am missing something. I am so tired
I hate the constant worry.
maria____a64048 notsure47790
Posted
Good luck.
becky53379 notsure47790
Posted
colleen90305 notsure47790
Posted
Some doctors don't get it!!!!
notsure47790 maria____a64048
Posted
maria____a64048 notsure47790
Posted
I take magnesium it helps with my anxiety. There are also supplements that help support your hormones. Research them, give them a try.
anna42582 notsure47790
Posted
Hi notsure, So sorry to hear that you are going through this, from what you have said it deffinately sounds like peri to me... I have been in peri for around 3 and a half years although seriously it feels like a lifetime... I went to my gp, he sebt me for some blood tests and calmly told me I was in Perimenopause and it will last for up to 5 years..Yay...NOT! Like you I have had a full range of symptoms, some worse than others and yes, you do feel as though you are going crazy, but it's all normal! I am taking multivitamins, extra calcium and St Johns Wort for my Anxiety. We're on this hormonal rollercaster ride from hell, we're here for each other to get through it together...You're not alone... Take care, Anna :-)
notsure47790 anna42582
Posted
Thanks so much Anna
I am very thankful to all of you. It does make a difference to talk to people who undrstand.
I have also taken advice from here about some vitamins and will still keep trying herbs and vit. My Gyno does not follow on me much. She send me birth control pills because I am 35. She never called or anything. I am. Ot sure I want to try it. Have not started it
deirdre01438 notsure47790
Posted
Hi!! I'm almost 35 as well and going through awful symptoms which I believe are Peri but doctor just wants to diagnose anxiety and depression. It's awful. Have you checked your thyroid levels? My mom has thyroid problems and she has symptoms years ago similar to this and it was her thyroid-I've had mine checked and I'm ok-all my mom's side of the family have thryroid issues. I thought maybe it was the answer to my situation but I've been told I'm just struggling with anxiety. Which incidentally all started within 2 months of stopping birth control. I wish I had gone back on it there and then but I was being stubborn thinking I'd balance out but I didn't. Now my anxiety is stopping me from going back on it. Vicious circle!!!
deirdre01438 notsure47790
Posted
Hi!! I'm almost 35 as well and going through awful symptoms which I believe are Peri but doctor just wants to diagnose anxiety and depression. It's awful. Have you checked your thyroid levels? My mom has thyroid problems and she has symptoms years ago similar to this and it was her thyroid-I've had mine checked and I'm ok-all my mom's side of the family have thryroid issues. I thought maybe it was the answer to my situation but I've been told I'm just struggling with anxiety. Which incidentally all started within 2 months of stopping birth control. I wish I had gone back on it there and then but I was being stubborn thinking I'd balance out but I didn't. Now my anxiety is stopping me from going back on it. Vicious circle!!!
tonia_2003 maria____a64048
Posted
What kind of magnesium do you take?