I can't take it anymore!! Perimenopause horrible..HELP!

Your not alone! I sought psychiatric care and not one of them guessed it was Peri. I did the research myself and realized I wasn't nuts. Sad that medical professionals who are being paid good money to help, don't!

Hi Jennifer,  Don't despair!! you are not alone, i think i can collectively say that we have all felt like this at some point.  I am 52 still getting periods (groan) and have always had bad PMS.  I am sure that i read somewhere that if you suffer from this it can be exaserbated in peri-meno.  Anyhow yes i know where you are coming from, i am the same a week before my period, i feel manic and like there is something seriously wrong.  I blow everything out of proportion then bingo i get my period and its all gone.  You are not going crazy, that is what i thought too.  Just come on here and the support on here is fantastic.  It has helped me no end. xxx

I too question myself constantly. I have so many symptoms I don't even know which way is up sometimes. I always wonder if I'm dying of cancer and they aren't catching it. The stress is making my hair thin out and fall out. I'm also at my wits end. I just wish I could find relief.

Oh Jennifer...I could just hug you for your post! I've just started this miseralble experience at the age of 43 and feel like a different person that I don't recognize. I was feeling so desperate and out of control that I started looking for forums when I stumbled upon your post. I'm a mental health therapist and have struggled with anxiety and depression for my whole life. They are complicated by Crohn's disease but have all been well managed by medication and using all the skills I try to teach my clients. A few months ago, the insane sweating started with worsening menstual cramps. I stumbled upon the OTC medication Estroven and it has been miraculous in stopping the sweating episodes. But, this month, something has changed. The bleeding is out of control and my mood is just....out of control too. Yesterday, at work, I bled through a super tampon, a pad, my spanx and my pants. It was so demoralizing My thoughts are so negative and hopeless. I see my body changing and I'm gaining weight at what feels like record pace. I've become hyper sensitive to sound, textures and am overthinking and reading into peoples motivations--even when I know in the rational part of my mind, that I am being ridiculous. My husband is at a loss as to what to do. He was joking that my ovaries have "jumped the shark" which made me laugh....then cry...then get mad and defeated....then laugh again--all within a span of minutes. UGH!! I, too, have feelings of impending doom and worry that I'm dying somehow. The therapist in me tries to connect this feeling to the experience of leaving one part of my life behind and moving into another but the homonal mess that I am just says that all my "good" days are gone. I don't recall who posted about the itchy scalp thing but THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT! It never occurred to me that my more recently itchy scalp could also by a symptom of perimenopause. Thank you Jennifer and all the ladies who also posted for making me feel just a little bit "normal" today--you are all so wonderful and I'm glad to have stumbled upon this forum! <3

I am your age, it is all normal. I was having terrible bone pains, anxiety, lack of concentration, trouble even responding in a sensible way!!! Which is always bad when your a qualified nurse also!!! Finally got to the point I wash totally fatigued, then started with severe anxiety with some paranoia and mood swings!!!

I thought I was terminally ill at one point, or going mental. Went to see my GP who put me on low dose HRT, which helped a little, still get some of these symptoms but not as bad.

Think all women should be aware of these symptoms, text books all go on about hot flushes and low sex drive, which I do not suffer from!!! Good luck, hope u feel better soon xx

Hi, I am sorry I do not have any advice, but I feel your pain. I just told my husband tonight I thought I was going crazy. I am also 48, and losing it! But from reading all the comments you have received I see we are not alone. That makes me feel so much better! Thank you for posting this. Hang in there, I'm going to hang tough with you!!

Does anyone ever come it the other end of this? Would love to hear stories of this ending and all is well. Have been suffering so bad since January, and feel I'm getting worse, with more symptoms! Ugh, please move on already....I have a life I'd like to live!

Hi all, I am a first timer on here and I’m so happy to see this and I had to get in on the thread.  Firstly I am 39 and I am not even where you guys are yet.  So  I have been trying to get pregnant with my second in 17 years. I miscarried last year   But anyway I have noticed some different things going on with me lately.  Last month I missed a period, swore I was preg bc I am like clockwork.  I have exaggerated allergies and stuffy head, headaches and cramps (like phantom period) all preg tests were negative.  I finally got my period but lasted only 3 days.  I have had all sorts of things happening like fatigue and feeling depressed and electric shocks in my head, dizziness, achy joints which started some time ago.   I kept thinking I am sick, something is wrong and I am so scared!  I looked up Perimenopause and bam!  I saw the 35 symptoms and I have at least marked off 23 of them.  I am terrified of what’s to come bc I suffered with anxiety bad throughout my life and I have even been on antidepressants.  There aren’t even many women in my community or family that know or talk about anxiety and depression so it is pretty hard.  I hope I can cope with what’s to come and I am still trying to have one more baby so I hope and pray when I get preg that I can handle it too!  (Now that’s added stress).  I must not worry too much as it can interfere but I am going to try my best to eat healthy and get plenty of sleep and exercise and I already started to drink less I know all that is a factor.  I just wonder if I get my lady repro parts taken out can or do these symptoms stop?

A lot of what we are going through can be exacerbated by the fact here we are with teens/young adults, aging parents, and shouldering financial stress. I often wake up in ok form and the responsibility, dealing with my teenager, my son of 23, trying to run a home, it wears me out. Then Ive a long commute to work. I love my job and believe it's keeping me sane. But working and commuting is probably as much as I'm able for. It's absolutely ridiculous how much responsibility and sheer hard graft is expected from women. For God's sake I'm just 50 years old. I only have weekends off commuting 50 miles each way to work.. Every Saturday after walking the dog, trying to tidy up & do laundry, I bring my father to the post office, off shopping then, and make him lunch, he's 84. A few years ago he wasnt well and I was pulled every way. My brother's perfect wealthy life couldn't be disturbed, no it was me who was On Call. Even though I work, have a long commute and am a single parent.

This disregard and using women, their time, their emotional support for all can't go on. I see most single mothers now, struggling to make ends meet, navigate the dodgy teenage years, cope with their health and problems - very little support out there. Doctors aren't helpful, in fact it's like low income perimenopausal women are cast aside. It's not even such a low income, it's just women are now increasingly covering ALL the household outgoings. In fact an alarming amount of single/separated ladies I know in their 40s have died, cancers and strokes. 5 since 2008, no reserve left, pure stress and horrific peri menopause symptoms .

However I see women I was at school with who are comfortably off, financially secure I mean, who never worked very hard or long hours, who have familial and steady support from a partner, ALL these - without exception are having a much easier time. They're relaxed, well groomed, one was saying to me she was going through Awful Stress, when I enquired why, expecting the Usual reply, anxiety hot flashes, she surprised me saying, oh we've bought a new house, so big, really stressful trying to furnish it!!!! That's the only stress some people have. I almost can guess by lifestyle the ladies who'll say Oh they only way I knew they went through menopause, was their periods stopped/or they'd a year of hot flashes.

We need to be careful, the housework doesn't matter so much right now, we must take care of our health. Nap, cut work down as much as possible, exercise in a way that's helpful to us.

This crazy new lifestyle - so called Equality, has put too much pressure on women. Bring home the bacon, fry it in the pan, take care of the kids, and never let him forget he's a man- wait? Was there a man? Are men just getting along on a free ride, then leaving? All I'm seeing is more and more women reaching menopause without support. As I said, whatever hope our comfy well off sisters have getting proper Doctors care and support, I believe they DO, which is making a tremendous difference to their quality of life. But WHO is caring for suffering peri-ladies financially overburdened on top of all their ailments?