I consider withdrawals to be the devil

Probably tried more than 100 times though!! I like what you say misssy. Detoxing is the devil. Especially if you have hallucinations as I have in the past. Xx

We are all very much the same....we feel sorry for offloading...but not really when there is no one else around to off load too and everyone has given up...its a comforting feeling and we are worthy of it.....

I think people give up because they can't emotionally handle losing us in this way and HAVE to for their own sanity put us aside until we get better or worse "die". 

As we get older the chances of us dying increase...because our organs are older.  Last time I was in hospital they said I was having organ shutdown.

Do you have Gatorade where you are? I was told by the Nurse to drink that ASAP when I quit because it replaces important electrolytes...

Important which I didnt do for myself because I was essentially crippled by this freaking withdrawal period was get a BANANNA....Banna replaces the potassium. 

The first 2 days I could only take small bites of things..but a bananna might have been easier to get down if I had them.  I honestly found driving under the influence to be easier than driving with a hangover...so I just laid there on Day 1 and thought of all the things I WANTED to do and couldn't.

Its not only a physical withdrawal...but my brain started getting all messed up when I got sober too...thinking of all the bad I had done and all the bad to come.  Honestly, here starting Day 3..my outlook is getting a little better.

How many Lorazepams did you get? Possibly with those if enough...and support here..fluids...and small amounts of food when you can...you can get thru this.

Plus no one mentioned and maybe this only happens to me...but my eyes were so swollen on day 1 and day 2....my skin looked like it was peeling from a sunburn...my poop (sorry)...turned to mush....

The poop turning to mush..per the hospital is a sign of an unhappy pancreas...the dry skin and swollen eyes...are dehydration.

My hair is like straw another dehydration sign....

All these things clear up after a week or so....its pretty messed up how we mess up ourselves so much and in a very short time...if we put as much effort into getting sober as we did to getting drunk...all these things get better.

I agree with you about AA...I went for 6 years...this time I went back a few times (I had 2 months sober recently-before this week binge)...and your right....its a cult of "happy" people that have maintained sobriety. Which really didn't do much of anything for me...except make me feel lower than them.

And to feel low in a group of AA people is almost worse than feeling low in your inner circle.  LOL

 

My friend hasn't come yet with lorazepam. Just couldn't take the withdrawels today. Had I lager, still felt horrendous, now drinking watered down wine with ice cubes. Terrified again. 

My detox in the past..1st day can't eat. 2nd days manage a banana and apple in the evening. 3rd day..manage some toast and fruit in the evening. 4th day appetite returns. In bed all the time. Can read and watch tv by day 3!!! 

Not able to go out for 7 days..

thanks for advice re Gatorade tho never heard of it! 

Keep going you, you're over the worst. A massive well done xx

I'm sorry your terriried.  Maybe it will help to realize that the terror will disappear when the alcohol does and in the meantime...don't beat yourself up over it.  Try and enjoy the wine or whatever you drink today and tell yourself...THIS IS IT.  Tommorow when you wake up give the Lorazepam the first chance...take a pill instead of a drink.

Your detox sounds like mine...really not looking forward to company today...but must push thru it.  I couldn't have yesterday....they were supposed to come yesterday.

At least try to squeeze some water in today too (besides the watered down wine . I know its hard...what am I saying? I couldn't do it...when I drank, I drank alcohol...and that was IT.

Again, don't beat yourself up....no one is better than you...you just have more to bear right now and you can do this.

My face does that and the rest you meantioned.

Yes re AA. Think city meeting are good but the rest are too clicky with gossips, especially the women. 

Well not sure what the rest of the day holds for me. More wine? I just don't know.

friend says can't get lorazepam until next week now? 

Feel defeated..xx

Thanks for your positive words xx

Hi Ya Paper fairy

No nead to feel defeated? Just look at the facts; alcohol withdrawal symptoms are a biological fact (check out alcohol withdrawal syndrome) Know one knows their own body or symptoms better than you.

You have decided it is not safe to proceed with withdrawal until you have the correct medication. It has nothing to do with mental or pschological weekness or defeat. Just a minor set back which on a positive note gives you more time to prepare.

Listening to you and Misssy has been inspirational, emotion, anger with a lttle humour. I hope someone from the medical profession is monitoring this! they can learn alot from both of you. Take care and dont give up the fight, "you will win".

Allan

Thank you so much AWS... I feel like a failure tho. X

You're no failure, don't think that ever xx

Addaction in Leamington Spa are just as bad. I phoned them up to tell them I didn't need my next appointment because I was taking action into my own hands, but I would keep the appointment and come and give them feedback if THEY wanted. They said yes and could they bring along the manageress, who proceeded to talk over me for the entire half an hour.

Now, I'm a big bloke 6'2" and have held middle management positions, so I am quite capable of cutting across someone and shutting them up, but I thought, what's the point, these people are set in their ways. She said at the end that she thought it was a really good meeting, I thought it was a complete waste of half an hour of my life that I will never get back. When she left the room, I turned to the project worker and said, in my old company, they had a saying, you have two ears, one mouth, use them in proportion.

I did call their head office and got a call back from a director, who was a fair bit more human, but I doubt things will change, I've yet to see a good word written about Addaction on this forum.

Yes, I would feel defeated as well after having the lorazepam fall thru.

Its important to have something like that to fall back on when you are withdrawing.  I am still using mine on day 4...well, I haven't yet this morning..but I have an appoint for an unrelated topic today and I am nervous about it...so I will probably take 1/2 tablet before I leave.

But, with the alcohol withdrawal...I definetly think you need something if not only to calm you fear about the withdrawal.

So now what fall off the face of the board until next week?  Don't do that...I would like to see you check in everyday....and STOP BEATING yourself up.

Are you managing any water?  Any food?  That's important too.

Hi. Well I just can't carry on the way I have been so I'm tapering on my own. After passing out last night I woke this morning feeling terrible. Think I'd drank 2 beers and 2 and a bit bottles of wine yesterday. It got to 1.00 and shakes started, aching all over and sweats. So I had a beer. Then I've just had another one and feel slightly better. I have 1 can left and no other alcohol in the house. Thinking I will have 3 cans today. 2 tomorrow  and 1.on Wednesday and then stop. Done it before and can do it again. I can't eat but will try and have banana and apple before bed time. I feel horrible but hopefully in a couple of days will start to feel a bit better.

its so bluming hard. In touch with 2 friend by phone. Don't want visitors as I feel and look like hell. 

Do you think I'll be ok doing it this way? Please wish me luck and I send you my best wishes too xx

Does the beer help? I've had it when desparate, but to be honest it's not made much difference. I know how you feel about not wanting visitors and shutting off. Will you have to go out to get more beer if none in the house? It always amazes me how I can make the effort to go and get alcohol even when feeling crap, but can't do anything else. I've finished my diazapam now, had last one on Saturday. GP won't give me anymore though. I take NITRAZAPAM at night which helps with sleep. Agree with missy about checking in every day. Take care xx

Hi. I'm only having the beer as I'm terrified of having hallucinations or worse again. Alc Adv service told me not to just stop. I don't even like beer! If I wasn't on my own or had medication th help I would rather just stop but I'm so frightened being alone. Wil keep posting and thanks for everyone's posts xx it all helps 

I ended up just drinking 2 cans of fosters and I've eaten a banana and apple.  Roll on day 2. Well 3 actually!

Not sure why Deidrie has been moderated? She always gives a lot of good advice, bless her. Sleep time now I hope xx

GREAT WORK paperfairy....keep going

Yes tapering is good..its hard..but seems like it is working for you.  I totally UNDERSTAND>..not wanting anyone to see you..usually takes me 4 days to want to be seen!