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I dont enjoy anything anymore!

Posted , 19 users are following.

Denise888
Denise888

I used to be fun and full of life, and patient. Now . . . perimenopause -

I'm hot, tired, and so very sad. I ache all over, cry at nothing and wake up mad as hell. I have many nagging headaches.  Its too hot to go outside.  I cringe when I think about going out in a crowd.  One other person in the aisle at the grocery store is one too many for me. I drop things and after 3 attempts, I just throw things. I run into furniture and doorways,  I can hardly utter a complete sentence without losing my words.  I just want to be alone! 

I used to be the person that everyone came to with their problems.  They still do, but I find myself so much less sympathetic.  I want to scream "Boy, you dont know what a real problem is!"  

What makes me smile?  My husband leaving for a long business trip.  My beautiful granddaughter.  A funny movie. What time of the day do I enjoy?  Bedtime.  All of the days expectations melt away and sleep is my favorite escape. It's the one thing I'm still good at.

I obsess over every conversation, every comment made to me, everything I do, everything they do.  Even the past.  Things I thought I had gotten over already.  I'm an over anxious, boring, teary-eyed, violently shaken bottle of soda.

I take black cohosh, evening primrose oil (really worked on my sore breasts btw), and chasteberry, calcium with magnesium, on top of Fetzima.  And I would trade sore breasts for the mental anguish anyday.

Nobody I know has had it this bad.  It sometimes makes me doubt the hormonal angle, and think I really am losing my mind. 

Thanks for letting me vent.

2 likes, 62 replies

62 Replies

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  • Dazednconfused
    Dazednconfused Denise888

    Posted

    Yep, this is me to a T. Waiting to get my life back but watching it pass me by. I've been in Peri at least 7 years and it feels like it may never end. If someone could only tell me when it would end I would grit my teeth and and mark each day off of the calendar and feel like I was getting there, but no, I have nothing to work towards and that for me is the worse part - the not knowing. I cling to the rare 'good' days - good days by Peri standards that is. Thank goodness for this forum and all the women like us going into battle every day. Lonely warriors. Bless you all and keep up the good fight. I for one am going to award myself a ruddy great big medal when (if) I come out the other side!??

    • maria101
      maria101 Dazednconfused

      Posted

      Hi i which I new the end myself to this madness so I can do a count down, but there is no time limit

      Everyone that been through and finish says you will get up one morning and it will be over so looking forward to that day in post.

  • Sesha777
    Sesha777 Denise888

    Posted

    Denise, I have been helped by many seemingly caring women in the last few days with a problem I have; therefore, I care enough to contribute food for thought to your problem. I am not a medical profession, but work in the mental health fields. I respect what you are feeling and would not disrespect you by trying to label you. You sound depressed. Do you snore? You may need a sleep study. Have you heard of the correlation between snoring and depression? Ask your doctor about this or better yet, research yourself before speaking with a physician.

    This is merely food for thought. The best to you.

    • Sochima822
      Sochima822 Sesha777

      Posted

      Sesha, while in peri/menopause phase some women do become depressed as a result of our hormones being off balance. This is why some women are put on anti-depressants. She maybe depressed but from hormonal imbalance. Giveaway is she's hot, cries at nothing, and mad. Typical symptoms of hormones being off.

    • Sesha777
      Sesha777 Sochima822

      Posted

      Thanks for clarifying. That is why I was careful not to sound judgemental. While having empathy for what she is going through; but not yet understanding how hormones play a significant role in how it affects us psychologically (because I am not there yet), I focused more on what she could do to elevate mood. You're right, now that I think about what's she's experiencing from a horonal perspective, it makes sense.

      I stand corrected when it is presented in the understanding and gentle manner inwhich you offered it.

    • Sesha777
      Sesha777

      Posted

      Hormonal....not Horonal    lol
    • Sochima822
      Sochima822 Sesha777

      Posted

      I knew what you meant. We just need an edit button for those of us that are perfectionist lol.
    • Denise888
      Denise888 Sesha777

      Posted

      Hi Shesha,

      I used to snore when I smoked (about 5 yrs ago), but recent reports from family and hubby says not so much anymore. 

      And thanks to everyone for the thoughts and well wishes.  Support really helps.  I've thought about hrt, but my mother had an estrogen form of breast cancer, and I wish the studies would clear up whether it is dangerous or not.  Three out of six of my great-aunts had breast cancer - only the ones who took hrt.  That's a scary thought, also.

    • Sochima822
      Sochima822 Denise888

      Posted

      Denise you have a much higher predisposition of getting breast cancer due to your family history with hrt. Look for alternatives like Macca and VD3 and other natural remedies. Flax seed oil as well. Take care.
  • barbara49965
    barbara49965 Denise888

    Posted

    Hi Denise - I have started HRT & it has been a life saver! I feel nearly normal agian.

    I do take Vit B12 - super strenth fish oil, & Osteocare tablets.

     

  • lisa326
    lisa326 Denise888

    Posted

    Totally TOTALLY know where your comming from....and definately am thé same....

    Please know your Not alone...xxx

  • TropicalVon69
    TropicalVon69 Denise888

    Posted

    Feeling the same here Denise...in fact some days I am genuinely scared I hurt someone so frustrated angry and sad, I want myself back and so do.my kids.....I weep gnash and pray every day for this to be over.......hugs all round xxx
    • becky53379
      becky53379 TropicalVon69

      Posted

      Hi I just read your post, I hope that you are doing well

      today. I feel just like you do. Praying this all ends soon.

      Are you taking any vitamins or anything?

    • estrella_77505
      estrella_77505 becky53379

      Posted

      I keep getting a pop up video on this site. Does that happen to you? Anyway no I don't take vitamins. I wasn't advised to.

    • Sochima822
      Sochima822 estrella_77505

      Posted

      Few doctors would ever advise you to take vitamins, but Vitamin D3 acts as  mood enhancer also called the "sunshine pill," because it will lift up your spirits. Vitamin D3 is one of those vitamins you most definitely need to take to avoid cancer, lack of sun, etc. I would suggest you start taking it and see how you feel after taking it for 1 month. It will change you mood for the better if you suffer from mood swings due to peri-menopause.

    • deidra40034
      deidra40034 Sochima822

      Posted

      Yep...I swear by it!  We need it up in the North West US where we live!  Works wonders!  I sound like a broken record don't I?  LOL

    • Sochima822
      Sochima822 deidra40034

      Posted

      Yes, but it's okay! It's advice few doctors ever give there patients so may as well tell everyone here.

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