I feel like I’m the only one going through this so bad ?
Posted , 20 users are following.
I read so many posts about hot flashes moods irritatability . is ANYBODY else completed debilitated with fatigue and the darkest depression ???
Why do I feel like I’m the only one going through this ?
Who else has gone to bed whilst it’s still light outside ? I have for 5 months !
Who else has considered ending it all?
Hot flashes are NOTHING compared to this .
2 likes, 89 replies
loretta63638 lori93950
Posted
lori93950 loretta63638
Posted
Finny2018 loretta63638
Posted
Loretta - I am so thankful to hear you have had positive results with the HRT and the anti-depressant. I love to hear success stories as it gives us so much hope to know that we have options.
My doctor is 60 and has been on HRT and Prozac since 50. She has offered this to me as well - I am open to options. For now I am trying that Wild Yam Cream (USP Progesterone) that my pharmacist friend recommended for years to her clients if they wanted to start with "something" - as the over the counter cream had worked for a number of women. As of now I am seeing results - but I realize this can be a roller coaster.
So glad you are experiencing a better quality of life!!
Guest lori93950
Posted
I have! I still fight the deep dark depression and death thoughts that everything is killing me, Plus I am now 61 and all I think is old old hopeless no good for nothing , too old for anyone to hire me , to old for family espically your adult children to care anything about you! It's a lonely and end world for old folks like myself ! It's like I'm NO GOOD for nothing now it all down hill dark and gloomy and suffering is all you will get or have crying and fighting is all we have on our side BUT the battle to too hard and over powering I guess I'll have to learn to ride the waves and see which one wipes me out!
lori93950 Guest
Posted
Yes at 52 and recently divorced don’t work no kids just a little cat ... thinking so negatively and wondering ... what is next ?
I want so badly to feel normal again and get my mind back . All we can do is hope 🙏🏻
jules0405 Guest
Posted
Hi Crosado,
I identified with every thing you have said, I am 57 , I have been through menopause, and had all the symptoms named on these forums and more, I have been on and off HRT over the years, I keep going off them and try to go it alone, then after a few months my symptoms are so awful I go back on them. I am currently off HRT at the moment, I have been for 4 months, but my hot flashes are so awful, my depressions back with a vengeance so I have made an appointment with the doctor to go back on them again.
I have dark thoughts, in the mornings are worse, thinking I would be better off dead, that I am no good to no one, that I have lost my job, my children are grown, my grandchildren keep me going, if it wasn't for them I don't know, I would feel I have nothing to live for, its almost as if I cant help feeling this way, because when I am taking HRT, they do come with their side effects, but these horrible thought sometimes disappear along with the hot flashes they go swell. But I get sore breast and other side effects with them, I don't think I have found the right balance in HRT that suits me yet. My heart goes out to you and all the ladies suffering, we are so strong aren't we ?
mauiblue jules0405
Posted
Hi Jules
If you ever find the right balance of hrt please let me know because this is the reason i am always going off them, because ive never had a right 'balance' if there is one.
I tried andtried, and still use estrogen here and there and testosterone, but it doesnt help.
And what is UP
with the morning dark thoughts. I swear we need to FIGURE THIS one OUT. Depression that ebbs and flows, real heavy horrid feeling in the mornings, right when i stir awake, its there, in the pit of my soul, like im cursed, its wretched.
This morning was actually mild for me, when awakening. I just traveled and slept in a different bed, very comfortable, away from my home, youd think i would be a wreck. I felt ok. Still depressed but the morning didnt take me down.
Im really sorryou feel this way. your grandkids do keep you going, just like my boys do. Its a survival mother thing we have that allows us to keep going. What happened to the joy?
Were you ok for awhile lthen it returned? I just turned 54, going through this over 1 1/2 yrs now. Pretty much took my life from me as i know it.
Not giving up, going to reclaim my joy, my happiness somewhow. If hrt helps or not, i may as well keep putting it on, what diff does it make?
Be well, support going your way x0x0x0
bev27429 mauiblue
Posted
Hi Mauiblue,
Yes, the mornings are the absolute worst. I have the blackest thoughts and just can't stop thinking any number of negative things about myself. It's awful. Then, I stay in bed for a while trying to counteract them with mantras, deep breathing... It's so frustrating.
Like I mentioned before, if I am going to feel well at all, it is almost always in the evenings. I can be having an absolutely horrid day, and then I can get a lift in literally seconds. Then, I putter around my cottage, happy as a clam, feeling peaceful, appreciative, and whole.
This whole experience has been beyond bizarre!
It is incredible to me that we have the strength to actually survive this !
Your posts always really speak to me. I am with you sister, every step of the way.
Much love,
Bev xo
monique_93857 lori93950
Edited
Hang in there I can tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel I still go through ups and down sometimes and some of the symptoms all of what you just explained and more I went through the night sweats then I would freeze to death I went through the burning tongue I went through dry eyes dry mouth dry nose I went through the stomach flopping around as if I had a baby kicking around in there I went through anxiety panic attacks depression I had times I didn't want to leave the house I didn't want to be around people I felt doomed like something was going to happen all the time I went through sleepless nights I went through the dryness of the private part up and down weight loss my shoulders aching my elbows my wrist I developed bursitis carpal tunnel you name it I think I've experienced it hang in there majority of the symptoms to go away mines will peek out every now and again but I'll get up and get to moving around get myself busy praying for all of us
lori93950 monique_93857
Posted
The little things don’t bother me too much ... I’ve had the sweating flashes dry eyes ringing in ears . Can handle all of that .
I just feel like I’ve lost my spirit .. which I’m sure many women on here feel that way too.
All I think when I wake up ... is how many hours until I can close the curtains again and go to bed . I’ve watched so much tv seen everything twice or thrice ..... helped me get through this though . It’s a lonely old road .
monique_93857 lori93950
Posted
Yes I truly have been on top of everything else that I mentioned in my post above during all this time I lost my dad my mom my brother my sister my sister-in-law and lo and behold today I found out that they're going to pull the plug on one of my friends I just thank God for the strength that he gives me because without him I think I would have went insane by now Lord only knows keep your chin up I pray that you go through this quickly after so long you'll just forget it's even there little things will happen and you'll say to yourself oh it's just the hormones that's what I tell myself every time something new comes along it shall pass good luck to you Lori if you ever have any questions for me just inbox me cuz I've been there and done it
lori93950 monique_93857
Posted
Yes I’m praying to God everyday all day and thanking him that my life although I feel terrible mentally and physically that it’s very dull and boring ... at least I can focus on just myself and getting better . I couldn’t handle anything else right now as can barely function.
And yes! I’m not a baby can handle all the other symptoms ... can’t wait for this time to be just a bad memory .
Guest lori93950
Posted
I always considered myself to be a very strong person. Had a bad childhood, alcoholic father, valium addicted mother married multiple times, lots of strep throats as a child, bad mono that I was hospitalized for as a teen, lost all of my hair from alopecia at age 17, had meningitis in my early 20s, lyme disease twice, hard childbirth with complications, but nothing, and I mean nothing, has knocked me on my arse as bad as perimeno. It hit me out of the blue. If you read any of my posts back from two years ago you will see that I asked the same thing as you, I didn't think anyone could be suffering as bad as me. I really thought I was checking out. I lost 30 pounds, was a shaking skinny sickly woman with so many symptoms it was unreal. You wouldn't believe it if I named everything I went through. The only thing that kept me somewhat sane was knowing that others were going through the same thing as me. I think some of us just get hit with everything, while some get a few things, but all experiencing symptoms that are making our lives miserable enough. I'm still not completely back to who I used to be, I probably never will be, it has been that life altering for me, but I'm determined to stay on this forum and give some encouragement to others to hang in there.
There are many women who had the exact same symptoms as you, but have gotten better and don't post as much here anymore, but I know they are out there. Please know that we all understand!
XOXO
lori93950 Guest
Posted
My childhood was awful too full of trauma violence and a mom God bless her that didn’t know how to be a mom .
I was run over 11 years ago by a car and got through that ... each day saw improvement but with this there’s no definite time frame ... that is what sucks about it ... if we had a date we could at least power through until then .
And yes women who are feeling better probably don’t post as much and I don’t blame them for moving on . Can’t wait for the day!!
evi75119 lori93950
Posted
My childhood was difficult, too Lori
my mother after my birth was suffering from depression...she was diagnosed as bipolar!
Now I asked her how she was back then & she told me that she was complaining about hot flashes, irritability, restleness, anxiety, severe mood swings etc and as usually doctors gave her antidepressants etc...