I'm struggling to cope with my anxiety

Hi Alex,

My boyfriend (fiancé) is very good but I feel I'm letting him down as he has never suffered with anxiety and he doesn't understand, he is always there for me tho, I want to be at his mums as I feel better there, but he wants to be at home , plus his work is only round the corner, I'm still waiting for this increase of pregabalin (100mg twice daily) as it was increased on Friday.

I came home from my mother in laws today and I just feel miserable at home, all I want to do is watch the soaps then curl up in bed with my dog as my fiancé waits for me to be asleep before he comes in so he knows I won't panic if we both go into bed together and he falls asleep and if I can't il be very anxious as i can't sleep!

How do you cope being home alone as that's my biggest fear at the moment, I have negative thoughts that I'm going to take all the tablets if I get in a full state of panic , Amdahl now my aunt and uncle want a break from me I don't know what to do xxx

L O Hollie. I do feel for you. If it wasn't for my dog and her needs I wouldn't be here now. My Pregabalin was put up to 200mg twice a day today. won't be able to pick it up 'till Thursday.

The loneliness is a pain at first, but it eases in time.

I'll try and get back to you later-am having meal now.

Chin chin XX

Hi Hollie. Perhaps I've missed the obvious but It's struck me; you aren't 'lonely', you are afraid of being alone. Is that correct? I think there's a subtle but important difference.

Forgive me, I'm no councillor but are you clear why? Have you told this stuff to your GP?

I'm having my own probs and am at my limit with this. I hope someone else will join the discussion, who knows more than I do.

I'm not closing on you, but there's only so much I can do.

Hi Hollie, just read your discussion with Alex. I think he could be right when he says that you may be scared of being on your own rather than being lonely. I was wondering as unfortunately your parents passed when you were young could it be that it's your immortality that your scared of and that's why you don't like being on your own. That is the anxiety I suffer from i am very conscious of being on my own and i also have to go to bed before my husband as i don't sleep well and could be awake most of the night. Have a good think about it and see if it is that as that will make a difference to what you do about it. Keep posting and keep smiling 😊

Hi Alex and Sally

Yes Alex I have told my gp everything, up until 4 months ago it did not bother me in the slightest been home alone, but now I'm petrified of it, tomorrow is going to be a difficult day as my fiancé goes back to work and I'm going to be alone, until 6pm, it's very difficult for me to concentrate on things as I'm so anxious and have negative thoughts which I hate

I just don't know what to do!!

Xxx

Hi Hollie, good to hear from you.

I'm going to do my best to suggest what I'd do based on accumulated layman's knowledge (remember I have NO qualifications).

It's a form of aversion therapy. It seems essential you face your fear. Take one day at a time. You must 'ride the Dragon's tail'. There's no one to hold your hand, but you must try and face the day alone. It clearly won't be comfortable, but by the end of the day, even if you're a gibbering wreck, you are more than likely to survive it! The next day you will have the knowledge you did it. When you get through the second day, you'll have that behind you! And so on. Ultimately, it's up to you.

You have a phone if you really do need rescuing.

Its the best I can do Hollie and you have my best wishes XX

I agree wholeheartedly with alex, you have to face it, however I would add that you set yourself specific tasks to get through the day. They don't need to be big just enough to keep you occupied between meal breaks and the odd cup of tea!

Something like, clear out drawers and chuck out stuff you have been clinging to for ages, get rid of old clothes, shoes etc, try and spring clean your life. If you need to get out take a bag of clothes down to your local charity shop.

What I mean is, do something with an end result so that you can look back on it and see what you have achieved.

Well said Designergirl. You can tell I havn't got a woman in my life to help with such details LOL.

I'm sure we all on this forum wish Hollie success.

We should stick together for moral support.

I am not suffering form anxiety any more fortunately, I had a bad bout for two years when i was jelly on the floor of my doctor's surgery. She gave me pills but I never took them.

The reason I never took them is because I am once again relying on inner reserves of strength which we all have.

Many years ago I suffered form Post Natal Depression, in the space of ten weeks, I lost my job, was diagnosed with Pulmonary TB, was told the baby I was expecting 'would be all eaten away', and what was 'in there' was n't worth having and then my mother died from bowel cancer.

I refused the abortion and panicked the whole lot of them, but I and faith in myself. I never give in.

After the baby was born I was in aright state and my husband threw me in the deep end and left me at home with the bay all day. My then doctor gave me pills , I never took them even though I thought my life was over, but I bought myself a knitting machine and knitted away my stress and baby blues.

Each day I and something that i had created and it proved to be a positive force in my life, people commented on how well dressed my baby was and orders started coning in. I had no time to be depressed or anxious.

Make each moment count. have something to show for your efforts each day, no matter how small, everything grows.

HI, designergirl.

I agree with your strategy, I've endeavoured all my life to do something similar, We all are subject to different influences.

I always considered I was able to rise to the slings and arrows..... until things began to go pear shaped no matter how I tried. The struggle overwhelmed me in the end and I needed serious help.

I was fortunate to get CBT spread over some years, where my history was charted and dealt with in detail.

I have no wish to discus my case notes on the forum, but the CBT was able to focus on events that clearly had influence on my well being.

The uncontrollable imponderable for some at least is the latent power of the subconscious. It is this which propels GAD into play. No amount of wishful thinking can combat the effects of subconscious interference.

Fortunately our American cousins are actively investigating the brain physiology underlying this condition and are able to show problems with how a child's brain wires itself when subjected to intolerable stress. The affects are often not apparent until midlife.

I think the point I'm really trying to make (with all respect) is that, like much in life, a one size fits all world view is not always appropriate.

designergirl is correct. We can pool our experiences and try to support each other.

It would be nice to think everyone cares. Let's show that we do.

Designergirl, you're experiences which you shared with us made me feel for you, you are a brave person. I admire how you coped.

I honestly hope you are getting all the love you clearly deserve. XX

Thanks Alex, that means a lot to me.

I'm always here if you need to chat, it's difficult to talk to people who don't understand.

Hollie, how are you?

Hi Alex

I kind of failed today, I thought no I'm not going to go around my aunts house as she hadn't replied to my text, so I got up at 9ish watched Jeremy Kyle (sad I know) then went and got myself dressed, j pottered around the house but but by the time 1pm came I got very panicky I was on my own and I failed and went to my aunts, I was having horrible thoughts too and it scared me so I had to get away

Xxx

Hollie, You take your time.

It's not for me to judge you. I honestly have no more ideas to help you. Ultimately the choices are yours. I think you have already said what you are doing isn't working. And you're looking for strategies to cope, and I honestly hope you find one that works for you.

Nothing's going to change until you break this cycle. How you go about that is up to you.

It will take time.