I still don't feel the same after smoking weed for the first time. NEED SUPPORT PLEASE
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Hello, Im posting here to get some reassurance and support. It has been over a year and a half now since I tried an illigal high (weed) for the first time and suffered a panic attack in which I thought I was going to lose my mind and die, and end up in a mental hospital. The high lasted about 4.5 hours. Nothing felt real and when the high wore off things didn't feel the same as before. I found out about derealization and depersonalization and I think that is what I have been dealing with since. I was diagnosed with GAD and I think I might of had it prior to smoking the pot but not to an extent that it bothered me.
The best way to explain it it just feels like something is off, nothings the same, i feel disconnected in a way. Like i keep trying to compare how i fet before the high (normal) to now but I cant exactly pinpoint what it is.
My vision gets weird and its hard to focus on anything. I see "noise" or static like tiny dots (visual snow) when looking at the night sky and floaters when looking at the blue sky. All things I have never experienced before the high.
At the start of this hell I thought I had died or that I was in hell. (It felt like it and my anxiety was through the roof and i felt nausous and panicky). I was obsessed with thinking i was going insane (schizophrenic) infact I still do get VERY VEEEEERY scared about it. Thinking that i could go mad. I also have light sensetivity wheb i look at something i get an afterimage if it that stays in my vision for a bit.
I feel like i had all my life ahead of me and now i cant live life like before. As if a part of me died. (Im not delusional though i dont think).
What has made it tolerable is being busy with study and work... But when im free all i do is be upset about it and feel miserable. I dont want medication because if the side effects and risks of psychosis/suicide.
I have no energy to do anything at times...
And i think the more time goes by the more i lose hope.
Please PLEASE if you can relate or have advice/support please contact me or reply to me here.
Thank you so much
19 likes, 207 replies
tilly98417 Leah208
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tilly98417 Leah208
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Hi, I'm not sure if what I'm going through is the same but I did weed the other day twice in two days (for roughly the 3rd time) and my head feels slow, like the speed of everything has gone slow, I cannot feel pain and when people are talking to me nothing feels right. It's like im on an all time high, i wont lie in scared because I have 15 exams in school this year and what if it affects my performance, did any of this happen to you?
Guest tilly98417
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that normal, dont worry., Youve smoked some potent thc, dominant indica strain. Just dont smoke next time before school exams...
jye00972 Leah208
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Hi mate I'm going threw the exact same thing it happened to me when I was 13-14 years old I'm now 24 years it hasn't gone away but I have noticed when I have a anxiety attack it feels like I'm loosing my head!! Have you gone to see a professional about this ?
Guest jye00972
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duuude, i tried it when i was 15, and it almost passed a year. This is quite horrible, but i still smoke weed, i think im getting used to it. But i still dont suggest you to try it. I may figure this my self and let to know... Psychedelics and our people brain is very powerful...
cody56 Leah208
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aspen53435 Leah208
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cameron91917 aspen53435
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hey are you still feeling like this?
brian72288 Leah208
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shakeel10995 Leah208
Edited
Leah208
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Hi everyone, just an update and last post from me so it'll be a long one!
It's been almost 4.5years since my bad trip and I definitely still have anxiety and all the other stuff I posted earlier (weird vision, floaters, feeling distant). I've definitely become used to it and still try to live life like normal.
Some days are harder and more uncomfortable than others, some days I make it worse by drinking coffee or getting drunk as **** lol.. but I try to live life as normal as possible. (Again I don't recommend drinking or smoking anything because it will most likely exacerbate everything.. took me 4 years to get the courage to drink again after I developed this lol).
As I mentioned in my previous post you have to trust me that you won't go crazy! (But definitely put that joint down and take a break if you can do safely because the mind is very fragile...hence why you're here in the first place)..
Just know that crazy people don't know they're crazy so if you're here looking to figure out what the hell is going on that's a pretty good sign you're okay! Haha
If you do feel like you're going crazy it's because anxiety is a motherfu*** and will make you feel like you're not in control.
It's a constant battle but overtime you'll own it, just like a few other people on here have commented- you'll overcome fears and things will slowly but surely get easier and more normal.
Having anxiety is not just feeling"nervous, or shy at times" like people post on Facebook/insta etc...
Having anxiety is a constant battle with your mind, a mix of uncomfortable body sensations, stomach crunching fear, confusion etc..
I saw a few (ok a lot) of healthcare professionals who confirm is just anxiety.. in my case I probably had it before the bad trip..made it 100x worse after smoking the devil's lettuce haha. Rip..
Some people are lucky and they just have a few days/months of this bull (and hopefully that's you!)
But for some of us like me unfortunately, it'll be a constant battle with some days being harder than others. It definitely gets better over time and who knows maybe in a few years time it'll keep getting better.
The derealization (which is the bit where you feel like everything is a dream.. detached, spaced out feeling) is a symptom of anxiety and other disorders. If you have no hallucinations (audible/visual) it's most likely just anxiety.
Cannabis can trigger (awaken) pre-existential mental illnesses like anxiety and depression and I think the best thing to do is to go see a professional.. even talking about it (like on here) makes you feel less crazy and not alone.
Last thing I wanted to do is list things that can help you right now. Like right now.
-1) STOP taking substances that affect your cognition (drugs, alcohol even cigarettes). A glass of wine probably won't kill ya but honestly... Why risk making it worse?
-2) If you can't stop smoking weed, cant quit cold turkey and/or have tried in the past but quitting made you feel worse then please see a healthcare professional. They can often provide support/medication to help you come off weed. And it's 100% confidential.
-3) Go see a general doctor (for a general check-up as they suck at mental health stuff) and get your thyroid checked, your bloods checked (check for iron deficiency anemia, vitamin B12 deficiency, etc). Deficiencies, imbalances, thyroid problems can mimick the symptoms of anxiety and/or heighten them.
-4) Once you've had a general check-up then go see a mental health professional such as a councellor, a psychologist anyone who has experience and a personality that you can work with. They work for you and should suit your needs, they should listen with respect and kindness. if you're lucky you may find a psychologist who was once in the same boat as you but was able to overcome it and guide you in the same direction.
-5) Stick to seeing someone as talking about your symptoms/sensations helps to normalize what you're experiencing.. helping you to overcome it.
-6) Excercise and review your diet (what I'm trying now). Excercising is basically like doing drugs.. but your own body makes them for ya lol (endorphins, dopamine and serotonin) same sht that prescribed medication such as SSRIS help increase/balance. (If you're on prescribed medications don't substitute/stop them unless you've discussed it with your doc).
-7)If you have been prescribed medications to manage this take it as directed but give it time. It usually takes about 2 weeks to start seeing/feeling changes. If you're afraid to take meds like SSRIs then remember that tried you tried weed.. (which had the potential to change your brain chemistry negatively) then why should trying medications that are meant to help be scarier?
(Now this one I'm a bit biased because I'm still too scared to try anything but leaning towards trying it especially for the harder days... Definetly giving myself some advice here lol).
-8) Review your life. Cut out stressful people, environments, situations if you can.. now it's about you..
In my case my energy is very limited now so I don't have time for stressful draining people or events.. You come first now- your health is priority.
9) Write down your sensations, triggers, what makes it better what doesn't to keep ttack
sarasmiles757 Leah208
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Thank you Thank You Thank You !!!
Leah208
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Accidentally pressed enter before finishing my post-lol sorry.
10) it'll get better. Remember that
Lots of hugs to you all. Good luck on your recovery!
crystal79610 Leah208
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crystal79610
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And I'm trying to figure out what's going on with him been at the Erie like 5 times
KasperSco crystal79610
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How does he feel?