I want to give up.

thank you Emma it's nice to know we aren't alone isn't it.

how are you doing atm?

I'm trying to keep busy but not coping with that very well. feeling really anxious like I'm about to have a panick attack so every time I try to go out I have to come back inside again.

I cant concentrate on anything either so struggling a little more than normal.

never felt this bad before tbh x

thank you for checking in on me x

hey Axle

I'm not sure why it's being moderated. nothing dodgy in my reply lol

sorry to hear you are having a rough day today. its days like those that make this journey so hard.

it's really good that you are managing to get out and about and hopefully you will feel better after going to church later.

like you said even if it's only helps for a distraction to help pass the time.

how long into this roller coaster of a journey are you?

I'm not too good today as my anxiety is so high and depression seems to have crept up on me today. I'm trying my best to keep busy but haven't managed to go out the past couple of days. it's been real tough.

normally I can and it helps pass the time but way too panicky atm.

I've just got myself in to bed and hoping it will make me less anxious if I relax x

thanks for asking how I am I appreciate it x

Don't beat yourself up about getting out. I barely functioned for the first four weeks. No work, no driving, little cooking or cleaning. I had many of the symptoms you had, but with some severe depression thrown in for good measure. I am 67 days on 75 mg for this round. I have had 4 previous bouts of depression, this one will make it 5. In all previous cases the sertraline worked. Going forward I don't plan to ever come off of it again. You'd think I would have learned my lesson by now.

you can say that again!

Didn't think it was possible today but you're reaction made me laugh. Thanks for that.

I'm definitely gonna stay on when it works for sure!

adding depression in aswell is just an extra thing to make you feel crap isnt it! lol.

this is my second bout, 4 years ago last time I felt great after about 6weeks. this time round I'm 8months in after trying to add mirtazipine and increasing my citalopram, and now the sertraline.

wow 4! you must be a pro at this by now lol. I feel sorry for you it's happened 4 times. you are stronger than me I can say that.

it's really good that the sertraline has worked for you before so that's a good sign. stay on the sertraline this time though!

thanks Axle

has it ever worked quicker for you in the past?

Only once but by about two weeks less. I had only stopped for two weeks that time. Still had all the side effects. I truly wish that I had not gone through all those previous episodes. Each time put me in danger. The depression is horrendous. It makes everything feel even more hopeless. Not a good combination to say the least. Unfortunately, I still have a difficult time navigating these things, even with the experience I have.

so not much different each time you recover?

it's really scary having depression isn't it!

like a black hole that is hard to get out of, especially like you said making things more hopeless. you've done it before and you will recover again! it's just a matter of time, I know that's hard to see right now I feel your pain.

how has today been for you?

it just puzzles me how so many hundreds of threads i have read of folks recovering only to come off to get back on again etc.is mind boggling to me how those tortures few months of stabalizing would of eventually taught these folks many lessons.not me curiosity will never get a hold of me.lol

lois your right im in trouble now due to this.

I never felt like i was feeling hopeless and despair.

I went out but felt so out of it.

I actually told my family i dont know if i could go on .

Thanks!

Good for you. Some of us are just too stubborn to accept that we need medication. While others, after a while of being good, think that they don't need them anymore. I was even told that by my GP a few times. Boy was he wrong. I've since learned that very few people ever really get off of them for good. I have to say, I've learned my lesson.

you will be ok gs.saying a prayer for you.

what is your family doing to help gs? what do you mean thought about your life bud?

youll get your life back once you settle, i know it doesnt feel that way now but you will, you have us to talk to x

I kind of been bugging them a lot in texts and stuff .

They dont know what to do anymore.

I also worried im getting halluncination now .

Im scared about all this potato.

I havent been sleeping good either.

So yeah i got a lot of stuff coming at me all at once. It has me very concerned.

My brain is wired

and tired.

Thanks!

what makes you think you have halls gs? can you let us know a bit more info buddy? cuz that must be pretty scary. hopefully someone will have an answer or an idea of what it is.

I feel you gs its really scary! but you are doing so well to stick at it.

it doesn't matter if you are bugging them . you are only asking for help and there's nothing wrong with that.

has any of them offered to help in any way?

I think im hearing music in my head.

It like a loop. is this audibles?

Am i losing it? Im very scared potato.

I need my life back buddy as do you.

My family is just saying go to group therapy

or hospital.

Thanks!

gs its competely normal that (for some) in withdrawals, i have songs in my head all the time over and over, its part of your brain trying to recover! once i had cordial coffee cordial coffee repeat in my head for hours its torture but does fade matey all these changes are bound to cause symptoms but they wont last forever x

if you want to try group therapy or hospital then go for it buddy but at the end of the day it's you who is suffering and not them. do what you need to do to recover.

toria is right its called something but I cant remember. its caused by anxiety and withdrawals too. it cant harm you and it will get better. I have it too bud and even when I felt good I would get it on an anxious day back then.

Haha Haha cordial coffee bless you toria

mine was always something I made up on guitar and it would just go round in my head constantly. used to be proud if that song but will never be playing it again x

Oh ok . Anyway im scared of these things.

I think i need a new brain.

Thanks.!

Hey toria! i never feel rested on the zoloft. its like it keep me up and never rested.

I look like a zombie.

Potato do you think this is the right med for us?

Seems like a tough one do far .

Thanks!

The big question is zoloft the right med for me and what dose is correct?

make yourself play it p! whenever i get a song stuck i put it on spotify x

we all feel like we need a new brain but trust me the song thing etc is totally normal i had it last night, only slept 2 hours not great x

gs everything you describe i have and i havent started a new med, its withdrawal x

I go to a support group every Tuesday. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for them. Their input and understanding sometimes will carry me for a whole day. The beauty of it is, they all "get it." They are all suffering like me and they understand. If someone has not gone through this they will never understand. It sounds like you need some more support gs and I truly think that if you can attend a support group it will help you too. Make sure that the support group is for your type of illness. I go to a depression and anxiety group. I once accidentally went to a drug recovery and depression group and could not relate, but I learned a lot. There are many, many people suffering out there and they all try to persevere.

These meds are tough toria.

Its been rough my body cant anymore.

Thanks!

youll be fine gs just try to keep busy x

Yeah i know toria! i tend to let it get the better of me.

The thoughts and stuff .

what time is it where you are gs? its 3.20 here x

Hey toria! its 120 here.

Not much yet so far.

I had breakfast and stuff.

I feel not that great now.

I feel kinda sluggish and just out of it.

Thanks!

any better than yesterday? x

Hey toria! not really just foggy headed.

Cant think straight.

Feeling out of it and just not myself.

Getting halls still. Im scared of this all.

gsquez how long have you been on

Hey lynn! It has been 5 weeks and still feeling it.

50 mg zoloft . im just not feeling well at all.

Hope you feel well soon.

Thanks!