I wish I was dead. Tired of living.
Posted , 211 users are following.
I really don't want to live anymore. I'm alone but do have some friends. Have a grown daughter that has a busy life and no time for me. I think people would be sad and miss me, but not terribly. They'll get over it. I recently had major surgery and it went well. Not life threatening. Yet I am so very sad and just don't want to continue. I have no reason to be be depressed but I am and I just don't want to face another day. I was seeing a therapist until 2 weeks ago when he released me. I'm very good at hiding my true feelings from everyone. If you so me at work or with friends you'd think I was a happy go-lucky person. It's all a front.
I'm not looking forward to anything. I just want to die. I'm not in danger of hurting myself, I just want to be dead. I'm so tired. So tired of living.
36 likes, 302 replies
everett80629 jahnssteve
Posted
give yourself a break. And with me, if it is that deep, I'll take up a crack habit first,
and rob a bank to finance it first.
scr65041 jahnssteve
Posted
I liked the rhyme, everett80629!
everett80629 scr65041
Posted
Thnx. I know only too well life can be painful. I have official mental disorders.
Somehow, some way, find a reason to continue.
scr65041 everett80629
Posted
Thank you everett. I'm already doing it, otherwise... There is a thought that says "Life is hard, but I am harder". But some times... i go deep down...
scr65041 jahnssteve
Posted
We're here in this discussion on the "Patient". Maybe we have something in common. (i don´t know...) Maybe we want to be ... free ... How can we live life as dependent on something as artificial as money. And what it did to people ... On the only planet where there is life ... how it was decided to create an artful and stupid way of living ...
Guest scr65041
Posted
Were you responding to the "I want to die" conversation or was it something else? I was confused by your response, but was intrigued by it as well. Would you be okay explaining more about your comment? If you would rather not that's okay, I'd just thought I'd ask.
scr65041 Guest
Posted
I'm answering to the "I want to die". Sorry, tikvah, if I confused you. I'm just tired...It was kind of an outburst.
cathy74757 jahnssteve
Posted
I'm sorry to hear that your sad i to feel exactly like you i have a grown son and daughter. The only difference us that i have taken care of my family members all my life and they have sucked the life out of me. My parents seperated when i was 10, I had 5 siblings & raised by my grandparents , which was not good. I left home at 18 & my dad moved in on me and my 1st husband then the rest of my family moved in with me off and on throughout the years . When i was 21 I was pregnant with my son & my mom & dad got back together, my 1st husband died from a car accident when my son was 10. I remarried 6 yrs later had a daughter. My parents and siblings we always in & out of my home living and needing money on a weekly basis I moved 30 miles away 21 yrs ago hoping thye would let me breathe. My parents both came down with enphezma and needless to say i had to drive to them on a daily basis with a small child to do everything exepected of me u was there to do everything for them uo until the both died. I have 3 siblings left 2 if which we dont talk anymore since my parents death and 1 that is living with me. I just want to sat that I feel like I want to die constantly i have no life except going to visit my husbands parents and my son. I've always thought I loved my family. I've helped each and everyone if them without asking anything in return and I never hear from anyone unless they need me for something . I resent and almost hate my parents because of them being so needy and i hate myself for thinking this way i feel like my whole life was sucked out if me and for what ti sit in my home feeling like an idiot and a bad person because if this i would say to everyone out there that their parents & family doing this to them to start saying NO to them and live your life because in the end there is NO reward just an empty feeling of so much resentment it will consume you. I now hate them and wish I were not here anymore. I will never to to my kids what my parents done to me . I absoulutely had my life now and dont know how to exist with myself because i've never has the chance to do that and live a life in peace i'm 62 and am tired no money. i do have a living husband and i feel like I dont deserve that . Thanks for listening
everett80629 cathy74757
Posted
Holy smokes, you've been a busy girl !!,, There is so much to say, For myself, I'm not going to get into all the self-destructive behavior of my youth. But with how I started out, I consider myself very lucky. When you helped everyone, that came from a good heart. And beleive it or not, you will be rewarded. Sometimes we just have to be patient. At least that's been my experiance. What goes around comes around, and sister, your poaitive Karma meter is pegged-out in the positive. You've hit a rough patch. It will pass, just keep a positive attitude and your side of the street is sqeaky clean. I'd say, I'll say a prayer for you, but I'm not religious nor believe in a so-called God. But there's alot more going on here on this planet than meets the eyes. Keep your chin up, I'll check on you again.
cathy74757 jahnssteve
Posted
I'm sorry to hear that your sad i to feel exactly like you i have a grown son and daughter. The only difference us that i have taken care of my family members all my life and they have sucked the life out of me. My parents seperated when i was 10, I had 5 siblings & raised by my grandparents , which was not good. I left home at 18 & my dad moved in on me and my 1st husband then the rest of my family moved in with me off and on throughout the years . When i was 21 I was pregnant with my son & my mom & dad got back together, my 1st husband died from a car accident when my son was 10. I remarried 6 yrs later had a daughter. My parents and siblings we always in & out of my home living and needing money on a weekly basis I moved 30 miles away 21 yrs ago hoping thye would let me breathe. My parents both came down with enphezma and needless to say i had to drive to them on a daily basis with a small child to do everything exepected of me u was there to do everything for them uo until the both died. I have 3 siblings left 2 if which we dont talk anymore since my parents death and 1 that is living with me. I just want to sat that I feel like I want to die constantly i have no life except going to visit my husbands parents and my son. I've always thought I loved my family. I've helped each and everyone if them without asking anything in return and I never hear from anyone unless they need me for something . I resent and almost hate my parents because of them being so needy and i hate myself for thinking this way i feel like my whole life was sucked out if me and for what ti sit in my home feeling like an idiot and a bad person because if this i would say to everyone out there that their parents & family doing this to them to start saying NO to them and live your life because in the end there is NO reward just an empty feeling of so much resentment it will consume you. I now hate them and wish I were not here anymore. I will never to to my kids what my parents done to me . I absoulutely had my life now and dont know how to exist with myself because i've never has the chance to do that and live a life in peace i'm 62 and am tired no money. i do have a living husband and i feel like I dont deserve that . Thanks for listening
everett80629 cathy74757
Posted
Listen, if you you are capable of helping anyone, thru, a house to stay in, or whatever, it is a good deed, and the good deed will be returnered to you.
hanah12 jahnssteve
Posted
Wow. I literally don't know what to say cause I've been on that case too. I just wanna hug you.
Miguel-fatman jahnssteve
Posted
at least you have friends, i have none. i have an ungratefull boss that i work an average of 14hrs a day for, have had no pay rise in 7 years. i have a son who is a crack adict and another who smokes weed like it was free to the world and wont get a job at 35yrs old. my partner wont say nothing but steals from my meger wages to pay for their drugs. mean time i just work, sleep in my car in week nights, cry and ask if there is a god that he takes it all away and lets me not have to ever wake up again.
yes, i too wish i could just die, i never asked for this sy life, i begged for my family to be normal, respectful, loving and happy but my world is so fd up that i go days without sleep or food in the hope that i can just die.
my partner is riddled with a debilitating disease, and i have to keep this st together when i should have retired several years ago but i have to keep going to look atlfter others, where the hell is the justice in this life. just let me die and rest without all this st
Miguel-fatman jahnssteve
Posted
just for the record, i have done the medication, theropy and the usual garbage. even to the point that they have said they cant help no more so thats out of the question. oh, please, no offer of hugs or other form of mental/physical contact please, it scares the pants off me just to think of it, thank you
sam18386 jahnssteve
Posted
Both of you have us on here! We WILL listen.