I wish I was dead. Tired of living.
Posted , 211 users are following.
I really don't want to live anymore. I'm alone but do have some friends. Have a grown daughter that has a busy life and no time for me. I think people would be sad and miss me, but not terribly. They'll get over it. I recently had major surgery and it went well. Not life threatening. Yet I am so very sad and just don't want to continue. I have no reason to be be depressed but I am and I just don't want to face another day. I was seeing a therapist until 2 weeks ago when he released me. I'm very good at hiding my true feelings from everyone. If you so me at work or with friends you'd think I was a happy go-lucky person. It's all a front.
I'm not looking forward to anything. I just want to die. I'm not in danger of hurting myself, I just want to be dead. I'm so tired. So tired of living.
36 likes, 302 replies
k84430 jahnssteve
Posted
Hey Jahnssteve, I'm sorry you're feeling this way, no human should have to go through this, but inevitably we all do..
I hope you're feeling better. Idk how these replies are helping, and I don't understand why your doctor couldn't prescribe antidepressants ssri's can help. Maybe your next visit you can broach that?
You are not alone, as you can see from all these comments.. feel free to reach out to me anytime. If your daughter can't visit you is there any way you can visit her?
There are many book clubs and such, if you have the time you should check that out as well
aurora86047 jahnssteve
Posted
Come on! You deserve better! If you look around I am sure you will find plenty worth living for
eri37369 jahnssteve
Posted
me too
eri37369 jahnssteve
Posted
i have things to live for I'm just so tired and I can't pretend to be happy anymore.
i wish I was dead everyday.
jill93164 jahnssteve
Edited
It makes me sad to read about your feelings. You are not alone. Remember that it takes a lot of energy to pretend to be happy-go-lucky when you are not. It can be draining.
Maybe you are like me and you were raised to feel bad about yourself if you expressed any negative emotions.
frankie53077 jahnssteve
Posted
I understand the feeling but im making peace with the knowledge that i need to leave this world. I survived a car crash without a scratch 3 months ago and I'm not happy about it. I mean i love my son dearly and i dont want to leave him. but i dont want to be here either.
candace03610 jahnssteve
Posted
Hello friend,
i wondered how you were feeling today? Please don't feel you need to pretend that you are well though,feel free to be open and honest with me. I am in a similar 'place' as yourself so would like to maybe support you in some way
Take care
Candy
lisa06826 jahnssteve
Posted
Me too
carolyn61954 jahnssteve
Posted
im right there with you being here is totally pointless
i hate this place lots of pain and nothing else
im to the point that i should be grateful to have a roof over my head but that doesnt really seem like a good enough reason to be here
carolyn61954 jahnssteve
Posted
im right there with you being here is totally pointless
i hate this place lots of pain and nothing else
im to the point that i should be grateful to have a roof over my head but that doesnt really seem like a good enough reason to be here
doubting carolyn61954
Posted
carolyn61954,
I totally feel what you're saying. Y'know? I've really, seriously, thought long and hard about how I feel about life a lot. I mean, what is wrong with me right?
All my life, if someone had said to me "hey! I'm your fairy god-mother and I can grant you any wish, you can have anything you want, right now. Just name it and it will be your's. Money, status, career/job, tour the world, live anywhere, however you please. Just say the word and it will be your's".
I wouldn't have an answer for that. I knew when I left school that I couldn't not work and pay my way, in all my years I've never known unemployment, and I've worked hard but again, if someone had said to me at any time "I can take you away from this, what would you like?" I wouldn't have had an answer. And that has always been my biggest failing. What I DO know is nothing interests me, life itself, really! What [is] the point?
I don't know.
michael79536 jahnssteve
Posted
I forget that I am not alone with these thoughts. Our circumstances are different, to be sure, but the thought of ceasing to exist connects us. Thanks for sharing.
Understand25 jahnssteve
Posted
Hi,
Everything you said is exactly how I feel. Thanks for sharing.
shaun28757 jahnssteve
Posted
I know how you feel,i put on a brave front but when im alone with my thoughts i tear myself apart and am really hard on myself,such a hard cycle to get out of.
Been off work 6 months nearly and cant seem to get myself out of the hole im in,so know how you are feeling,your not alone
david57454 jahnssteve
Posted
well done for opening up , we in uk are good at suffering in silence . and not good at listening to ourselves, as you can see with 275 replies you are not alone we are a large community of kind hearted people who fall prey, to experiencing huge lows.
im going through one know and yes i would love to leave this world , you owe to the world to seek support and solace .
i love your bit about putting on a mask or as i put it avoidance that's me when im feeling bad .
so watch a great comedy Curb your enthusiasm series 4 episode 6 Larry goes to the ball game
it will get you laughing which is so good for you.
Remember 275 replied sincerely which means we feel your pain .
started anti depressants , the increase serotonin is making me crazy and feel low .
Good luck