I wish I was dead. Tired of living.

I know what you mean, I feel the same way. I feel I will end up in a mental institution, so I prefer to just check out. There is no help for people who feel this way. When I first started with the agoraphobia, I was terrified if being in an locked up, and that freak me out. I reached at point at 42 that I think that is the only choice, but I am agoraphobic and then my family had to visit out of obligation, so I think it is better if I am out of this world, my family doesn't deserve this.

I know some people really hide their feelings very well just like you but let me tell you keeping it inside is just poisonous for you. You need to talk about your inner feelings and let go of the pain that you’re holding inside. I know days are worse and unbearable but trust me every phase passes and this will too!

Please, please , please.. continue on with your life. I do so know that it is so hard to do at times. When no one understands. Please tell me more about your life. I know it is a life worth going on.. Your friend. Pat

I know how you are feeling.

I am like this every day.

I try so hard to do things , but I never enjoy anything anymore.

I'm quite lonely, and like you put a brave face on, but I'm always crying, whatever I do never goes right.

Do you have ANY good days? Even if they are rare, that is where you can make progress, I understand everything you wrote.

Hi,

I can relate to everything you've said. I am also sick an tired of life. I don't want to see tomorrow. Hopes an dreams are gone. I only live on because of my mom being 82 an helping her. I know when she passes that is it for me. I have nothing to hold onto after that, I had thought back when growing up that joy an happiness would stay in my life. It didn't. I had to many painful experience's an actually should've been gone sooner than now. Life has lost its zeal for me. I thirst for nothing to achieve nor to accomplish. I'm just waiting on time. When my mom passes I will be finding ways for me to pass on to. I don't want to hurt anyone, nor do I want to cry anymore. I go to bed asking GOD to not let me wake up, but I must wait until mom leaves this earth. Then it will be time for me.

I know exactly how you feel. I try so hard but sometimes I wonder why. I love my children so much but they don't seem to understand that love. I feel very alone and more now that I am a widow. I would not do anything yet I think I would be better off dead. I know I should have more faith in God. I try but I feel so unworthy because I am very blessed and have no reason to be so depressed. So why do I feel that way? I guess I just want to feel "wanted". To feel like I matter for something.

Hi. I understand how you feel. I feel the same way only I have nobody but my mother left who is 84. I don't even have a life insurance policy cause I have nobody to leave it too.

I get it. I don't want to kill myself, I just want life to have meaning and purpose and joy. I want someone to love me, and choose me. I've lived my whole life just wanting to belong, to feel like I matter. I was abandoned by my parents, bullied as a child, and dumped by everyone I ever gave my heart to. I've had some moderate success in my life, but I also have a laundry list of hang-ups and addictions. I've been to therapy repeatedly, it doesn't work. I'm on an antidepressant now. Some days I feel a little better, but usually there's this fog of low-level despair. Even when I'm with people who care about me, I feel so alone. I'm so weary of it. I cry out to God asking Him to help and change me, but down deep I feel I'm hopeless. I'm 57 years old - how can I change now? How can I ever find love now? I've been this way my whole life. And some days it's just too much.

I relate 100% of what you are saying here. Do you still feel the same way? I just want to cry...I am so lost. I do hope your feeling better...your truth was refreshing.

I hope you received help. I am feeling completely like you now. I am having bad thoughts and I have tried to get help but they send me to a hospital and I just end up leaving. I have to work and cannot miss time. My insurance did not pay for the visits from my job and I am already having trouble making ends meet. My dog just was told she is blind from diabetes and she is my life. They want this huge amount for her visit to just see her. It is over 200$ and the surgery is probably over 3k. I cannot afford this and I tried to put together a page and no one from my friends list gave any donations. I just feel like no one cares. My adopted family is over 3,000 miles away and they never call and they have never done anything for me. I keep hoping that I just end up dying. I hate my life and how I feel everyday. Life really is hopeless. I hope you found your help. I feel like I am not worth helping. I am a lady living in Arizona and it really is the pit of hell here.

hi! I honestly don't think I'm so close to harming myself. Though I do imagine about it from time to time. But I believe I have a strong mind and I won't end up actually doing suicide. But I'm scared. I'm 19, btw. If I told about this feeling to my parents, I feel like they won't understand. And that they will just tell me that I'm being too dramatic. My parents and my environment are very traditional. Mental health problems aren't really a problem. So we have this mini store at home, it's been there from the day I was born. I've been selling my whole life. And I'm so so so sick of it. I've never experience sleeping for how much long I wanted because I need to tend the store, my mom will do other house chores. I can't write, which is something I really love, because I lose my idea whenever someone call to buy. I can't live the house without scheduling it because no one will tend the store. I just really hate that store. I'm disappointed with my parents. I wish they work on getting stable first before having children. I wish I didn't need to live this kind of life. I'm just so sick of this. Before, the only reason I came this far is because I have a goal. I will get my family and myself out of this situation someday. But now, as I get older, and still, nothing has changed in the way we live, I'm slowly losing my will to achieve that goal. I feel like were meant to live like this forever. I feel like there's nothing I can do so I just need to be content on this life that I have. But I doubt someone would ever be. I'm losing myself and I'm really scared. I want to go on, but I'm just really tired. At this point, I don't have the courage to commit suicide, but I do strongly wish that some accident would just happen to me. I wish to just rest forever. I've been living and leading my life pointlessly.

I'm posting here because even though I have friends. At times like this, I feel like I don't have any.

l understand how you feel your soul is tired some people think its odd or depression because we want to die. l m pray for you and myself l feel the same way my soul is tired and l love and believe in Jesus. these kast 2 years have stole alot of time from me and l m tired of trying to recapture it.

I am not a doctor or counselor, but the mind and body work together. I don't know if you were depressed since child hood but depression causes like of vitality and energy. I look at the fish in the ocean (we are not fish but this is an example)and it takes allot of energy to stay in the water and not only get the basics need met in which is not enough but enjoyment is needed. A large part of enjoyment is being able to form intimate bonds unlike the fish which is an example. When fish suffer any loss of energy they now struggle by the side of the water with the other fish who do the same. Together they share little to no joy and excitement which is needed for the mind and body and soul because they cannot give what they do not have. This is the same for human beings.

We are not fish but when we lack the energy needed to not live basically but to to bond not just in friendship but in romantic bonding which is the highest intimate connection if the person chooses as human beings. The problem with society today is the romantic bonding is becoming less and down played as if it is not needed but if there is a need and this is not manifesting emptiness and depression may take place because this is where most of the affection and a deep forms of intimacy takes place. The mind and body will experience some form of trauma, emotional instability and depression. As we get older we develop a need for the romantic and less on the friendship although this is important. When you lack the energy you become unable to achieve these things effectively and when you meet people at this stage they are unfulfilling or not as much fulfilling. This is just a theory that I have.