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I wish I was dead. Tired of living.

Posted , 211 users are following.

jahnssteve
jahnssteve

I really don't want to live anymore.  I'm alone but do have some friends.  Have a grown daughter that has a busy life and no time for me.  I think people would be sad and miss me, but not terribly.  They'll get over it.  I recently had major surgery and it went well.  Not life threatening.  Yet I am so very sad and just don't want to continue.  I have no reason to be be depressed but I am and I just don't want to face another day.  I was seeing a therapist until 2 weeks ago when he released me.  I'm very good at hiding my true feelings from everyone.  If you so me at work or with friends you'd think I was a happy go-lucky person.  It's all a front.

I'm not looking forward to anything.  I just want to die.   I'm not in danger of hurting myself, I just want to be dead.  I'm so tired.  So tired of living.

36 likes, 302 replies

302 Replies

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  • matt41718
    matt41718 jahnssteve

    Posted

    I feel the same way im 18 and i really do wish i was dead. I don't have a job or much friends either. I don't have a girlfriend either and i have no motivation or passion. This has been going for i think 4-5 years. I want to kill myself one of these days but i can't seem to bring myself to it. I really want to do it to be over and done with my life. In other words i feel like my life is a curse and im jst a burden because i don't have much of a will to change it

    • joanne_17939
      joanne_17939 matt41718

      Posted

      Matt Darling.. you're 18.. believe me in 10 years time life will be so different. In the meantime get focused.. use the time wisely and work on what interests you.. don't worry about relationships ..as you become passionate about something the more interesting you become 💕

    • everett80629
      everett80629 matt41718

      Posted

      do something you like doing. And if you seek a psychiatrist, please, don't let them give you "Benzodiazapenes" or anti-psychotics, the side effects are actually worse than your ailment, 

  • joanne_17939
    joanne_17939 jahnssteve

    Posted

    I feel exactly the same way.. life feels like such a chore.

    I don't even think I'm depressed.. just realistic that it's unlikely to get any better..maybe I am depressed though as I have no motivation. I have few family left as they've passed away but I do have a daughter who is my only reason to carry on..also had two sons.. Alex died of cot death and Michael is mentally challenged and is violent and been locked up.. haven't seen him for years and have no desire to ever meet him again. Also divorced after a 24 year marriage and he is remarried.. I sometimes wonder what the hell its all about?

  • 5urf99
    5urf99 jahnssteve

    Posted

    I know exactly how you feel. I have a random health issue where I can constantly smell yuck smells. Been going to doctors for years and tbh they have done hundreds of tests and no reason found. It had mega impact on social life and work. As a result of not working a month debt is building. The only reason I haven't ended things is because it would break my mum's heart. The whole world thinks I'm mad or I stink. She is the only one who loves me unconditionally hence why I'm still here.

    People can say don't do it but they have to walk a mile in your shoes to understand. I am religious but my faith has almost gone.

    I really wish I could find a way out of this mess and not commit a sin by ending it but I truly believe that I don't want this pain anymore.

    I hope for your sake you find the light you need. Only thing I guess you can take from this is that your not alone. Even in the darkest part of your mind remember there's hundreds of us there as well. Turn to them before you decide to do anything drastic

    All the best.

    • everett80629
      everett80629 5urf99

      Posted

      Smoke crack, at least before you check out. But then again, I'm a lunatic who grew-up in Miami in the 80's. 

  • michelle22830
    michelle22830 jahnssteve

    Posted

    Hi, are you still alive? You are so lucky to have cancer! I wish I would get cancer and die! I don't want to live anymore and the thought of living 30 to 40 more years is unbearable. Everyday I pray I will have a heart attack or get cancer and die.

    Where do you live? What is your name? How old are you?

    Michelle 

    • everett80629
      everett80629 michelle22830

      Posted

      Grew up in Miami, Florida. Been in Lansing, Michigan since 1998. It's gloomy here in the winter, but it really makes you appreciate the spring, summer and fall.

  • everett80629
    everett80629 jahnssteve

    Posted

    Yeah, I get it. But I tell you what, before I check-out, I'm gonna do a Charlie Sheen and smoke a 7 gram crack rock. 

    • everett80629
      everett80629

      Posted

      not, really, i was having an off day when I posted that. stupid-me.
  • rene_boy_devero
    rene_boy_devero jahnssteve

    Posted

    ,,,you are just like me I don’t want to live anymore,,,I just want to die but I’m afraid of god,,,wish I don’t wake up anymore ,,my life is so sad,,,,my heart is always broken no reason to continue for living ,,,,im so sad very sad ,,,,i don’t want to live anymore im always alone my life is so boring and sad but I don’t want end my life by hurting me,,I just want to die like no more wake up or accident to make me dead,,,
  • everett80629
    everett80629 jahnssteve

    Posted

    It seems I got a little bit of that going on myself. As I'm getting older. 

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