1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

Is my doctor being inappropriate with me?

Posted , 6 users are following.

bpel
bpel

Hi. I know this may not qualify as depression I couldn't find a category it would really fit under. I recently got a new doctor. I had seen the same doctor (a pediatrician) for my whole childhood. I am 20 years old and female. The first time I went to my new doctor, my mom came in the exam room with me. It went really well. The next time I went by myself and my doctor came in and talked to me and then started listening to my heart and lungs. He asked to me to lift my shirt and started to touch my chest and then my boobs. I didn't say anything but I think he knew he could tell he was making me nervous. It went on for a couple of minutes. He finished and left the room temporarily to get the papers that say a summary of my visit. He came back and talked to me a little more and then my appointment was over. I went back a couple days ago and he did the same thing. He knows I have an anxiety problem and nervousness. I am just wondering is this normal? My pediatrician never touched me like that ever. But also, he had a nurse in the room all the time or my mom was in there. My new doctor doesn't. Should I request a nurse to be in the room with us? I think he sees lots of patients and gets good things said about him. I am not scheduled to go back for 3 months. Should I even go back? He prescribes me meds and I feel like he is genuinely trying to help me. It took me months to get in to see a new doctor. I wanted a female doctor but I couldn't seem to get one. I would appreciate hearing what the public has to say. Thank you.

1 like, 46 replies

46 Replies

Prev Next
  • borderriever
    borderriever bpel

    Posted

    bpel

    If you are not comfortable with your Doctor you need someone to go in with you, someone you trust. You could ask for a nurse or if your Mother is happy to go along, take her.

    We are in the UK and if we feel unhappy with our GP we will change to another one in Practice. If that is nor possible change your Practice.

    If you feel the Doctor has caused you distress through your appointment you can make representation to your health authority, there will be leaflets in Practice. or you can phone.

    Remember you need to be comfortable when being examined, a feeling of trust and partnership needs to be there between Patient and GP. I see some female doctors for certain problems and male doctors for others, depending on their professional interest, you can do the same if in the UK.

    BOB

    • bpel
      bpel borderriever

      Posted

      I am going to go to another doctor. My mom tried to get me into her doctor but her doctor isn't accepting new patients. I was trying to go my doctors appointments myself. I wouldn't feel comfortable to keep going to that doctors office even to see another doctor. Actually that office, only has one female doctor and she is a nurse practioner. I prefer to see a psychians assistant or medical doctor. I do feel that he has been inappropriate towards me. Do you know who exactly I call to report this? I have done that but for certain things like this I would prefer to have a female doctor examine me. Thank you all the information you have given me. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my post and reply to it. smile

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane bpel

    Posted

    Hi Beth how are you doing? So did you share with your mom what happened? I would look on the Internet for help. Type in briefly what happened and see what comes up. Keep us posted you can see how much we care about you😊. Diane

    • bpel
      bpel Adldiane

      Posted

      I'm doing better. I had trouble sleeping for a couple nights but last night I slept better. My mom kept telling me to call the doctor about my medicine so finally I told her I don't want to go there anymore. I told her I am going to go to a female doctor instead. Whenever she mentioned the doctor I kind of shut down. I don't know if she noticied. I don't really feel comfortable saying what happened to me. So I told her to just forget about it and I will get a new doctor. I know I will have to when I report him but I will try to stay calm and explain as best over the phone. I know that touching a female's chest isn't the worst thing that can happen but it really made me nervous and shaken up. I've never been a situation just like that before. Ok I will try doing some research. It helps to have support and to know other people care about me. It makes me feel better to talk to you, Diane and others on this website. I don't have much support from family and friends aren't really an option. I am thankful for the users of this website. -Beth

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane bpel

    Posted

    Hi Beth you amaze me. I just went to the Internet and typed in "report a doctor in New York" and I got just what you need. I have known much older women that could not face this head on. What courage you have. I am not putting anyone down. Of that I promise. It's just that you are strong and sure and came looking for help and support. God bless you!! I love this support group! People are so...honest and helpful. Keep posting so we know how you are. Alright?? Diane

    • bpel
      bpel Adldiane

      Posted

      Your words mean a lot to me. I am thankful to be able to talk to you Diane. I typed that in too and I found a lot of information including a complaint form to fill out. Wow that is amazing. I just have this brave side to me. People don't see it much. I don't believe you would ever put anyone down. You have been so supportive of me from the start. Thank you very much for always talking to me. I never wish anything like to happen to anyone but knowing you have gone through this and know others who have, it makes me feel better to talk to people who can relate. It is a horrible experience but I do hope that some good comes out of it. I hope I am able to prevent this from happening to other young girls and even adults. It would make me feel better if something does get done about this. Only in time will I know. I love this group too!! People are so nice and I learned a lot from all the users that replied to my post. I definitely will let you know how things turn out. smile -Beth

    • bpel
      bpel Adldiane

      Posted

      I did tell my mom. She kept mentioning my doctor and I just told her I am going to see another doctor a female one. So I decided to ask her if she wanted me to tell her why. She said yes so I did. I didn't even have to say it. She already knew it I guess. She was surprised. I felt a little weird telling her. It's just a hard thing to talk about especially face to face with someone. But she's the only person who knows. I am just glad I don't have to deal with that doctor anymore, hopefully. I don't know what is going to happen when I file a complaint. I will let you know. -Beth

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane bpel

    Posted

    health.ny.gov. Hope this helps Beth. Diane

    • bpel
      bpel Adldiane

      Posted

      I found this website too. I am using this website to do a complaint. Thank you for telling me about it. smile -Beth
    • Adldiane
      Adldiane bpel

      Posted

      You are welcome. I am glad that it is helping!😀 Diane

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane bpel

    Posted

    Hi Beth you are strong! You are a fighter! I am so glad that you told your mom and I am not suprised that she sensed something was wrong. Yes the people on this site are nice and kind. We all know what it's like to hurt and helping others make us feel better!! Sharing your pain makes the load easier. Please keep posting. Have a blessed Sunday. You make my day!! Diane

    • bpel
      bpel Adldiane

      Posted

      Thanks! I try to be. I am glad I told her too so at least somebody else knows not just me. I am not surprised either. She usually picks up on things. It is really great that they have websites like this. It really does help to talk to others about what the person may have gone through. Thank you! Have a wonderful day too, Diane! I never told you but you make my day too! Reading what you to have to say always puts a smile on my face and makes me feel better when I feel like what happened to me is dragging me down. I will keep posting! And thank you always! -Beth
    • bpel
      bpel Adldiane

      Posted

      Diane, can I ask your thoughts on something? Do you think maybe my doctor was giving me meds in exchange for touching me? I am not sure if I worded this right. I tried to make it make sense. This thought has crossed my mind and I just want to know someone else's thoughts. Thank you. -Beth

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane bpel

    Posted

    Good morning Beth. The answer to your question is I don't know what his motives were in giving you meds. That's the problem with breaking the trust in any relationship once it's broken it's hard to trust anything a person does. My answer to the situation would be to move on to another doctor as fast as possible and I always try to learn as much as possible from every situation. I hope this helps😊.  Diane

    • bpel
      bpel Adldiane

      Posted

      Sorry for not being on in a couple days. Was quite busy and not feeling well. Am a little better now. I agree with you Diane. I still have to call other doctors offices around me to see if I can get in sooner. Will do after the weekend. It does help very much so. Thank you always.

      -Beth

    • Adldiane
      Adldiane bpel

      Posted

      Hi Beth so glad to hear from you have been wondering how you are😊.  Sorry that you are not feeling well. Get well soon!! You will call for a new doctor in your own time you have done the most important thing! You have made your decision to change doctors. Feel well soon.🌹Diane

    • bpel
      bpel Adldiane

      Posted

      Thank you. 😊 I go through feeling fine sometimes and feeling really bad other times. I'm glad I did this. Yes I will when I can. I am thankful that I have support and am able to ask you questions and for advice. Thank you always, Beth. ?

    • Adldiane
      Adldiane bpel

      Posted

      So glad to hear back from you!! You know that I am here that we are all here to support you! Keep me posted. Diane
    • bpel
      bpel Adldiane

      Posted

      Thank you. I get so into doing other things that I don't reply for days. My apologies.

      -Beth

Back to top
Prev Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.