Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)

The same thing happened to me, except I think it was due to drinking alcohol to get rid of my anxiety. One night I decided that while drunk, I was going to smoke some weed. I did and went through the worst panic attack I have ever felt. It took 2 hours to get through but I eventually did and felt better afterwards and went to sleep. The next day I felt fine until night hit again and I started feeling anxious. I then began to realize that I had an alcohol addiction. 

Its been right around 2 weeks since that night and I've stopped drinking completely and have not smoked marijuana at all. I've exercised almost everyday, started eating a bit better and started taking vitamins and supplements to help my health. 

I still feel anxious most days but this week has been better than the last. I know it will work but I hate that its taking so long and sometimes the worst thing about my fear is that I will be like this for the rest of my life and I will never be 100% happy again. 

I then realize, no one is 100% happy and this will pass. I've began praying and reading my Bible again and developing a relationship with God. Its tough, my mind keeps telling me this and that and everything won't work! but little by little it does help. 

Some days I feel stressed, scared and depressed, some days I feel as if nothing is wrong with me, just slight anxiety at home. 

I did go to the Dr and they told me that my health was completely fine and prescribed me some anti-depressent SSRI's to take. I have not taken a single one and this past week had 2 good days, which is better than last week where every single day was bad! So I know it will get better with time and by changing my lifestyle. 

I think whats most disheartening for me is the thought that my former stress-free life is gone, which yes it is. However, I keep telling myself, there comes a time in everyones life where things may need to change due to possible destructive life-styles. I guess I can only thank God and feel blessed that I had this situation happen because if not, I would still be dealing with alcoholism and yes spiraling further into oblivion with my mind. 

The hardest thing for me at this moment is trying to have fun. My mind races to a million different situations and fears that I can't seem to enjoy anything. The thing I always tell myself is that you have to at least try, sometimes it may not be fun sometimes it is. 

Mostly, I know this will take time, i'm used to stress-relieving very quickly (i.e. alcohol) so getting rid of the anxiety daily is difficult and takes time. However, I know that I will eventually get better than this. 

Bottom line, God gave us free-will so in the end we can either let situations like this get us down or we can rise above it. 

Years on and I am now a mental health professional.  I wanted to reply with something because I have been through similar and I have some professional knowledge of mental illness.

I have not read the whole thread, but from a quick browse it seems there are common themes, with a few slightly different experiences mixed in.  I think the majority are simply experiencing a panic attack for the first time.  If you were to expereince a panic attack whilst sober on a bus for the first time, you may develop a phobia, or some negative assosication at least with such an environment; but you probably would not question afterwards; "has the ride on this bus changed the way my brain works and ruined my life forever?".  The reason being that it is illogical; however if you feel "strange or different" somehow after a drug induced experience you could fear that "a switch has been flicked" and that it has changed you.  This then of course leads to overwhelming and ongoing anxiety which can cause feelings of depersonalisation etc, which then enhances the fear that something has changed.  The reality is likely to be that the only thing that has changed is that you are now aware that you can induce a panic attack, or that an attack could occur.  So as many posters have said before me, the key to combating this is to try to challenge those assumptions becuase the fear that something is wrong is now the problem.  A course of CBT could be benefitial for this, which you could probably self-refer for to your local IAPT service (in the UK).  A word of warning though; the course should give you the tools - it is you that has to do the work.  Alternatively there are self-help books out there that may help, one that is not exactly aimed at this but could be useful to some is called The Happiness Trap.

Now, some people's experiences do seem to have some charecteristics of psychosis and there can be some cross over between anxiety and psychosis i.e. extreme anxiety can lead to paranoid ideation.  If anyone has ongoing feelings while sober that people may be out to get them, or are hearing voices, or feels their thoughts are being tampered with by an external force, or feels the tv or radio is communicating with them, then this is a sign that you are experiencing psychotic symptoms.  In a case like this you should absolutely stop smoking and seek medical advice.  In all liklihood they would start antipsychotic medication 2 weeks after the last time cannabis has been used (if symtoms are still present).  This kind of early treatment is considered important as thought pathways are thought to be formed and stregthened through repetition, so not allowing this to embed is important in terms of prognosis.

Anyway, not sure if this helps anyone but it's my 2 cents worth.  If anyone wants any advice, just message me.

Regards

Dave

After struggling with this issue for months I have finally found the solution. A "bad high" is essentially a high in which little to no dopamine is released because you do not have a healthy amount of dopamine in your system/brain. I struggled with this for 8 weeks and today I realized this is true, so I found a supplement I bought a year ago (Mucuna Pruriens) it has L-dopa which your body makes into dopamine to restore you to normal. Obviously be careful and don't do anything risky but if you feel numb, lifeless, without pleasure from weed and don't understand why, this might be your answer. Its a lack of dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter. My case was severe because I originally thought smoking more would make me feel ok again but really I dug myself a deeper hole. I was in a bad high for 2 months. It felt like, as the original poster puts it, pure hell.

I've not felt normal, yet, but I've also been making changes in my life such as diet, quitting alcohol and caffiene and going to church and what not. 

30 days ago I was a complete mess, now its as if I'm functioning pretty normally. Most days are hard and I have 1 or 2 good days before the bad days come in. I also feel pretty normal in the evening for some reason. I also have mood swings but that may be due to quitting my alcohol addiction. 

I almost took anti-depressants but everyone around me is saying you don't need them you can't beat this. I am beginning to agree. 

I no longer have deblitating panic attacks and the intrusive OCD thoughts from those aren't as bad but they are still there. I'm thinking that I've always had anxiety most of my life and I'm just dealing with it now.

To those who are scared and worried that this means their life is changing, don't worry about it! We all change here and there. I also notice this happens to people in their 20s, early 30s. I've also talked to several people who were in the same boat as me and are now older. They say it takes some work and stress-relief, maybe some counseling and reaching out to friends/family but it can be done and it doesn't require massive life changes. Also they say that you grow out of it eventually. 

What I would recommend is to work at it for at least 6 months, if its still very debilitating then consider an SSRI. Also make sure to always surround yourself with family/friends. Make sure to involve some fun. I wouldn't take sleep aids unless you haven't been sleeping for days. 

I mostly find that things I were interested in are less but to be honest I wasn't interested in too much to begin with. 

I seriously never thought I would be this much better a month ago although it is not too much better. I still get the looming panic attack feeling but they never come. When I am in my depressed mood it feels like I'm going to be this way forever but just wait it out, it does get better and hold onto that even though it doesn't feel like it. 

So what works for me, and it might not work for everyone, is to write or type my thoughts down every so often. Spending time with family and friends even when I don't feel like it. Another thing that works is making plans for the future that will help you. For example I always think about the future now but if I set a certain plan and am proactive I feel better. I try and take it one day at a time, but that takes a lot of practice so at least try to keep that mindset when you can during the day. 

Mostly I wouldn't set too many goals as that always just causes more anxiety especially if the goal seems like a lot of work. I found that even if you are in a good mood and feeling optimistic, you still shouldn't set long-term goals. Mostly set short term goals like something for tomorrow or this evening. 

One more thing is that I've had this explained as Acute Stress Disorder is what many of us may be going through. My doctors have told me that this will pass it just takes time. ASD is a mild for of post traumatic stress disorder. It really is best to ignore the thoughts of am I depressed or have a serious problem? Most cases, you don't, like someone said before, its more like your brain is trying to figure out whats going on and the brain activity soars. It'll get balanced, just give it time, I have to tell myself that all day and it does get better, I've gotten better maybe 60%!

Hope we all get through this eventually!

I hate rememebring it, since I have fully recovered since then, but I also experienced a living nightmare. I had smoke about 5 times (reluctantly) with my pressuring then-boyfriend and his friends. I never felt like I was feeling what they were so one night I took 11 hits from a pipe. I remember wandering in the dark barthroom far away from everyone, looking in the mirror and getting scared. Then I looked in the mirror at my reflection in the living room and didn't recgonize myself. From then the nightmare began. I saw myself run frantically, scream at the top of my lungs, and smash into the couch, passed out on the floor. Like, I stood there, watching myself do that, in slow motion. Then I really did black out, and awoke hallucinating thousands of colored papers swirling around my boyfriend, who was talking to me but I couldn't understand. I felt like I was going to die. Somehow I started to cling on to a few words of his, (he had bent down and was trying to snap me out of it) and I was crying and freaking out. It was the worse experience of my life. He took me and our other high friend in the car and I remember waking up over and over and over. (i'm sure you all know what feeling I'm talking about) Panic hit me in crashing waves, I thought it would never end. I passed out again in the car, and woke up in McDonalds. At McDonalds, I completely hallucinated a an orange soda in a curvy glass vase with a straw, a cake, and my boyfriend was merged with a waterfall. I was sitting on bleachers and saw my reflection in the mirror. I kept looking at the reflection to sort of "ground me" and help me remember who I am and what's going on. I started to feel less panicky, because our other high friend started dancing in the middle of McDonalds XD I instantly felt better and after that had a great high with them. Thank God.

However after that I swore I'd never try weed again. I felt anxious 24/7, on top of that I was already slightly depressed with a raging eating disorder. Life was not good. I told myself I wouldn't smoke again but somwhere in me I felt like I didn't trust myself. I knew I'd cheat on my promise and give in to peer pressure again. That thought terrified me to no end, that I couldn't even trust myself.

And, just like a self-fulfilling profecy, I did in fact smoke again. 2 months later, my boyfriend begged me. So I only took 3 hits this time, hoping I would get a tiny high, if not nothing at all. I was wrong. I instantly was transported back to that hellish feeling, this time was even worse. My boyfriend saw I was freaking out, so he took me to the bed to calm me down. But when I laid down I was gone. It felt like I was falling neverendlessly in this black void, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Later, my boyfriend told me I actually had stopped breathing and was completely unresponsive. Then suddenly I snapped out of it and took a huge gasp for air. I hallucinated a huge blue and gold castle, and many other things. I was scared, but at least this time, each time I woke up over and over, I could remember I was somewhat safe in my boyfriend's arms. But I still felt lost.

Now, 9 months later, I am more than happy to say I have not touched weed since that day. I have broken up with that boyfriend and cut off his pressuring smoker friends from my life. I beat my anorexia and BED, exercise regularly, eat healthy foods, spend time making art, spend time with my family, and am a happy person. Yes, I'll admit I remember that dark time now and then, but my anxiety has calmed down and I just remind myself it's in the past.

For those of you struggling with this, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. All these people here with their similar stories, along with me, KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. Yes, it is a horrible thing that happened. I know it feels like you're walking deeper and deeper into darkness and there's no way out. But I promise, I promise, things do get better as long as you try to make light shine in your life. Clean out the toxic sources in your life and you will feel loads better. I didn't use any medication to recover, so don't rely on that. There is hope! And never, ever feel bad that you can't enjoy weed like "everyone else." There are plently of other ways to have fun, which aren't illegal. If you hate weed, THAT'S OKAY! It doesn't make you any less of a person, it makes you strong for knowing what's good for you and what's bad for you. For all of you, best of luck to you, and remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel, trust me. I've seen it.

The important thing is to realise is that now you are above your personality. It doesn't mean you lost it. It means you grew as you acquired new ways of looking at yourself and the reality around. It is certainly not easier but gives you many more possibilities, many of which are positive.

What I'm saying is that the main solution to your problem lies in the way you think. Since you are capable now at looking at yourself more closely you will notice that you are also capable of a better control of how you behave. For example you can affect easily you mood, which now can be controled by you. And since your mood has large impact on your emotions you will be able to attain a better control of yourself than you ever had before.

I think you are going through the phase where you see you can control yourself in more ways than before but not understand and not full control it, which causes you problems sometimes. The key is to realise that you can control yourself and think at the same time what effect on a situation your behaviour will have. Just don't other think it, enjoy your life and remember others like you when you are nice to them. And keep thinking because your process of thinking is what makes you.

It can take some time to get there but it's easier when you remember that there is always one thing that you can *always* control in any situation - your breath. You can stop or start breathing at any moment, you can breath faster or slower if you choose so. Remembering about your breath (some call it meditation) is a key to unsetresful and succesful life.

i used to help alot of people i still try to but i feel my advice is totaly different than what it used to be, so now i kinda keep to myself, i try and talk to my friends about whats going on but no one ever listens and i guess thats why i dont want to see a theoripist as repeating myself drives me up the wall, like if you ask a question shouldnt you remember the answer? yeah drives me nutts, anyway if you could reply that would be amazing.         rhyce

I am a psych student and recovering addict.

I am in my early 40's and have used many pills,marijuana,but no needles,but i know exactly what you have felt ,but never had much of a problem.I would use quite often in my early 20's and started feeling as you did and quit,but i would occasionally use with no noticeable bad after- effects.

Recently i started using for insomnia and it worked well,but i too started having bad panic attacks(as if i was having a heart attack,morbid thoughts,Emotional detachment on both levels,and decided to quit completely.I am now much more sound-minded,motivated,and more willing to deal with many issues of life with an empathetic attitude and not let little things become big things emotionally.

I just wanted to share a small bit of my feelings and let people know that Marijuana (though legal in many places)is a very powerful drug and should be respected.I wish you the best,and with a positive attitude and God all things are possible