Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)

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Hi,

In December of 2012 I made a completely moronic mistake. I smoked a lot of weed and had a panic attack. I took a few hits of a joint, was already too high without realizing it and then I got passed a vaporizer and hit that without realizing how powerful it was. I didn’t even know what a vaporizer was, it was my 3rd time smoking pot in my life and it has been haunting me to this day.

The next day when I woke up I felt what I later found out to be depersonalization/derealisation. I went on an SSRI and after 2 months of complete HELL I was able to live…decently. That being said, my anxiety was through the roof, I was having physical symptoms that I never, ever had – or even knew existed for that matter, I’ve been getting weird, annoying thoughts, halos around lights, visual distortions and a bunch of other stuff that’s been hard to deal with.

Now I’m really ambitious and despite feeling this way I just kept pushing through, I ended up moving cities, switching my life, was studying nonstop, doing music production, working, blah blah and I had a panic attack one day that seems to have relapsed me into the exact same hell that I endured when I smoked that pot.

I should also mention that I got off of my SSRI about 3-4months ago because of sexual side effects and I think that was a bad idea. I’m back on Ciprilex 10mg, in a mood and anxiety program, I’ve purchased a couple programs, im eating better (when I can actually eat), going to the gym, etc. I will do ANYTHING to get my life back. Before this I was a 3.97GPA student and I was making good money, loving life. Now I can’t go to school this September and I’m flat broke – I feel like I’m living in hell.

I knew I had GAD before this but it was always controllable. I was always told marijuana was good for anxiety and I know firsthand that for me, it’s not. I obviously triggered a latent disorder or exacerbated my pre-existing condition but I am praying that I can get it back to where it used to be (its 100x worse in every way possible) and get rid of this depersonalization in time.

Has anybody ever experienced a reaction to marijuana like this? I messed up, I know it but I’m praying I didn’t ruin my life/future. I'm not suicidal and I'm absolutely determined to get better, I will fight nonstop and do everything necessary -- but in 5 years if I'm still living like this I would honestly kill myself. I do not want to die and just the thought of that and having these thoughts in my head are killing me because I have so much good to offer the world and I love life more than anything, it's truly beautiful, I want to be me again.

Please help me. I’m desperate.

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  • Posted

    Pls I need help, some months ago I smoked marijuana and got severe anxiety, I slept off woke up the next morning feeling fine then exactly a week later the anxiety came back I thought I was going to go mad my heart was pounding, I couldn't think straight lots of unconnected thoughts couldn't sleep so I took diazapam and I think that where my problem started, I woke up the next morning feeling like I never slept at all,a song stuck in my head to cut it short over the past five months this are my symptoms;

    Intense Feeling like am in a dream

    Head feels clogged

    Can't hold a thought

    Songs playing in my head

    Annoying thoughts

    Can't understand things the way they are like I could be watching a romance movie and be feeling scared

    Can't sense my environment

    Can't concentrate

    Can't feel what what am seeing or hearing

    Unconnected thoughts

    Dream every day

    Feel like am thinking while sleeping

    Ears ringing

    Pls this is too much for me I don't know if it was the weed or the drug that did this to me pls I really need help, always thinking of killing my self but I really want to live pls what should I do pls I hate weed if you are still following this post pls reply how are you now what did you do to etc better

    • Posted

      You probably have too many cannibinoids/CBD in your system. Remember, when you smoke weed it gives you 3 main components, THC, CBD and CBN. Cbd stays active in your system much longer than THC, I would say if THC lasts an hour cbd lasts 3-4 days. Dont smoke until you feel normal. You are in a schizoid state, similar to schizophrenia. You appear nervous. Smoking tobacco will help alleviate it. It could take up to 3 months until you feel normal. DO NOT SMOKE.
    • Posted

      i dont have an answer, but this is how i feel, it started with marijuana and i beleive this is the cause, i can relate to everything youve said and it is hell and its so hard to live this way, but you gotta hang in there and keep your body clean of drugs and alchohal, make connections with friends and family, try your best to live your life the way you used to. and surround yourself with loving people, in time it will fade,
  • Posted

    It's been 4 months now my brain don't seem to be recovering just the same from day 1i need help
  • Posted

    It's been 4 months now my brain don't seem to be recovering just the same from day 1i need help
    • Posted

      You definitely have way too many cannibinoids. Drink a lot of water. Drink a bottle every hour. I have not been to a doctor about this because my condition cleared up on its own in only 3 months. I'm not sure if they can help, but they might be able to, but I dont know. Smoking tobacco will help release some of it slowly. You might get a really intense head rush and might feel like you will pass out so be careful. Don't do anything dangerous, keep yourself safe, no driving crazily or anything like that. Get as much sleep as you can. Basically just lock yourself down to your basic necessities and drink lots of water and do not smoke weed or else you'll gain cannibinoids and your condition will worsen. You come off socially as being retarded, gay, creepy and weird so just be quiet in public and do what you have to do. I dont mean that as an insult but it is true; that is how people with too many cannibinoids come off as. Good luck. You'll make it through. Do not think about suicide, that is a natural mechanism for when you are in too much pain to bear. You must be tough. Pull through. Drink lots and lots of water (but not too much, you can internally drown yourself I've heard). Just be careful, try to remember what the old you would do in every situation. Just be quiet and drink water. You'll be ok.
    • Posted

      I don't know but there is this numbness at the core of my brain I think the valium locked my brain up with marijuana still there cos that's the only way I can explain it I just feel high and stupid I just keep on remembering things from nowhere I know it's that way cos I can't think just like you said I have been drinking lots of water as advice from my elder bro but it's been 4 months am already forgetting who I was
    • Posted

      Bro could you list the symptoms you had pls am very scared nothing is changing
    • Posted

      Couldn't think, very tense, felt really sick and ill, dilated pupils, brain feels like it was soaked in toxic juice, neck very tense, couldn't sleep, dizzy, anti/non social, racing thoughts
    • Posted

      It takes a while man just hang in there. I definitely think you have too many cannibinoids. Drink lots of water and try to relax. Just focus on your mind (meditate.) think that only your mind exists and nothing else (put your brain on 'low, basically. I think if you try to depress yourself you might use cannibinoids faster and thus might heal faster but dont think about suicide, it simply isnt an option even if you are suffering greatly. You must pull through. You'll make it. DO NOT ADD ANY MORE CANNIBINOIDS TO YOUR BRAIN. Do not smoke weed! It will definitely make it worse. Get rid of all your stuff do NOT smoke it.
    • Posted

      You probably havent damaged your brain too badly. If you were to live with too many cannibinoids (even at a level much lower your current) for a long time you would develop schizophrenia, which is basically your brain wearing down but that wouldn't happen for a long long time of having too many cannibinoids. You'll make it man please hang in there. I've been through the same thing. It takes a while. Give it three more months and you'll be ok by then as long as you get enough sleep, drink water, and do not add any more cannibinoids.
    • Posted

      Thats exactly how I felt, like my brain was locked up with marijuana. Thats the cannibinoids. You have too many. Theyre just soaking your brain, theyre not locked up. Drink water.
    • Posted

      Oh man my brain feels frozen I know for a fact if I hadn't taken that valium I might be fine now or at least I won't be feeling so retarded now worst decision of my life my brain just feels devoid of activity

      Only God can save me now

    • Posted

      Oh man my brain feels frozen I know for a fact if I hadn't taken that valium I might be fine now or at least I won't be feeling so retarded now worst decision of my life my brain just feels devoid of activity

      Only God can save me now

    • Posted

      Man I saw your post on the second page of this thread how are you now are you healed or still getting there
    • Posted

      Man I saw your post on the second page of this thread how are you now are you healed or still getting there
    • Posted

      Im mostly healed, I can see reality now but I still feel slightly impaired (retarded, gay, a little weird, awkward) but i should be evened out in 3 weeks. Took 2 months for me to be able to see reality (get out of the confused state). Im ok.
    • Posted

      I got the same systoms as urs except the dreaming like stuff but I was so depressed and didnt have goals at all,my brain felt like it was sleeping while I was awake,so I carried myself on,i motivated my self,decided to do excersice, u need to rigorously jog infact run,i started jogging, long distance, there was a tym,i jogged and ran very fast,as I stopped my brain still felt like I was still running,i under stood I wanted freedom but my society(Nigeria) doesn't want to give me,i wanted to panic in public but I composed my self,calmed down, then I felt like I still have the drugs in me,so I continue jogging n running, i started feeling normal n getting my lost goals and motivation, i used to have restless leg syndrome which was extreme during these period especially when I am nervous or panicking, i decided to calm down to make sure I stop doing Dat,it wasn't easy at first but it helped me to relax,any tym I do dat my brain signal panic,even there was a way I was jogging which was telling my brain I was panicking, i decided to change Dat,your brain isnt damage u need to stop concetrating on ur problem and focus on why do you want to recover,focus on hope Dat u can recover,the more u worry,ur recovery becomes far away,u need to decide and give reasons to urself, why you want to recover, my own reason was Dat,i dont want to disappoint my single mum because she will be disappointed in me I made sure I see her in good health, i wont say I am 100 percent mentally fit now but I know I am 99 percent fit,so decide to change and stop worrying, do lot of running, write your feeling everyday on a note,try going outside,try to be urself, eventhough u might feel depressed now,you will recover and feel so happy Dat you will cry and feel the courage to achieve things in this world without fear,i live in Nigeria where there s a stigma on dat issue and I didn't care of Wat happens, I fought my thoughts in my head,decided to stop thinking at all and I defeated the thoughts,did all happy stuff even I dont have an access to dem,i improvise, you live in a more developed society than mine,try to listen to solutions instead of problem, see this as a journey in life to know about yourself not problem, there was even a tym I wrote something on my note book,it was an article about freedom, i almost panicked because I felt it was so genius, i decided to calm down and tell my self,if Wat I wrote can help humanity then I should use it to help humanity, do not panic,control your thought and be happy n sad also,try going on,only you can help yourself, no body can,you the one carrying the burden.
    • Posted

      I got the same systoms as urs except the dreaming like stuff but I was so depressed and didnt have goals at all,my brain felt like it was sleeping while I was awake,so I carried myself on,i motivated my self,decided to do excersice, u need to rigorously jog infact run,i started jogging, long distance, there was a tym,i jogged and ran very fast,as I stopped my brain still felt like I was still running,i under stood I wanted freedom but my society(Nigeria) doesn't want to give me,i wanted to panic in public but I composed my self,calmed down, then I felt like I still have the drugs in me,so I continue jogging n running, i started feeling normal n getting my lost goals and motivation, i used to have restless leg syndrome which was extreme during these period especially when I am nervous or panicking, i decided to calm down to make sure I stop doing Dat,it wasn't easy at first but it helped me to relax,any tym I do dat my brain signal panic,even there was a way I was jogging which was telling my brain I was panicking, i decided to change Dat,your brain isnt damage u need to stop concetrating on ur problem and focus on why do you want to recover,focus on hope Dat u can recover,the more u worry,ur recovery becomes far away,u need to decide and give reasons to urself, why you want to recover, my own reason was Dat,i dont want to disappoint my single mum because she will be disappointed in me I made sure I see her in good health, i wont say I am 100 percent mentally fit now but I know I am 99 percent fit,so decide to change and stop worrying, do lot of running, write your feeling everyday on a note,try going outside,try to be urself, eventhough u might feel depressed now,you will recover and feel so happy Dat you will cry and feel the courage to achieve things in this world without fear,i live in Nigeria where there s a stigma on dat issue and I didn't care of Wat happens, I fought my thoughts in my head,decided to stop thinking at all and I defeated the thoughts,did all happy stuff even I dont have an access to dem,i improvise, you live in a more developed society than mine,try to listen to solutions instead of problem, see this as a journey in life to know about yourself not problem, there was even a tym I wrote something on my note book,it was an article about freedom, i almost panicked because I felt it was so genius, i decided to calm down and tell my self,if Wat I wrote can help humanity then I should use it to help humanity, do not panic,control your thought and be happy n sad also,try going on,only you can help yourself, no body can,you the one carrying the burden.this message is meant for GoZac
    • Posted

      Man am nigerian too am igbo staying in onitsha I know I would be recovering now if I hadn't taken that drug diazapam I think it messed with my brain chemistry now my brain feels so permanently numb it's just impossible to control my thoughts they are so scattered and my mind is so empty am praying seriously for my self cos I don't know what else to do I don't have anxiety at all but these symptoms just won't go away God please help me
    • Posted

      Can you drop your number maybe we could chat on what'sapp

    • Posted

      All you have to do is calm and realize reality is in your hands. You have anxiety and you just arent getting pleasure out of your life because you think you have a problem, its like a cut that needs to heal, just let it go, drink water, get rest, and you'll be fine
    • Posted

      Man am not even anxious thoughts without meaning music and all playing in my head I dream from the moment I sleep to the moment I wake up feels like I don't know where I am am not even anxious in the least bit the noise in my ears unbelievably loud just want to survive this

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