Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)
Posted , 268 users are following.
Hi,
In December of 2012 I made a completely moronic mistake. I smoked a lot of weed and had a panic attack. I took a few hits of a joint, was already too high without realizing it and then I got passed a vaporizer and hit that without realizing how powerful it was. I didn’t even know what a vaporizer was, it was my 3rd time smoking pot in my life and it has been haunting me to this day.
The next day when I woke up I felt what I later found out to be depersonalization/derealisation. I went on an SSRI and after 2 months of complete HELL I was able to live…decently. That being said, my anxiety was through the roof, I was having physical symptoms that I never, ever had – or even knew existed for that matter, I’ve been getting weird, annoying thoughts, halos around lights, visual distortions and a bunch of other stuff that’s been hard to deal with.
Now I’m really ambitious and despite feeling this way I just kept pushing through, I ended up moving cities, switching my life, was studying nonstop, doing music production, working, blah blah and I had a panic attack one day that seems to have relapsed me into the exact same hell that I endured when I smoked that pot.
I should also mention that I got off of my SSRI about 3-4months ago because of sexual side effects and I think that was a bad idea. I’m back on Ciprilex 10mg, in a mood and anxiety program, I’ve purchased a couple programs, im eating better (when I can actually eat), going to the gym, etc. I will do ANYTHING to get my life back. Before this I was a 3.97GPA student and I was making good money, loving life. Now I can’t go to school this September and I’m flat broke – I feel like I’m living in hell.
I knew I had GAD before this but it was always controllable. I was always told marijuana was good for anxiety and I know firsthand that for me, it’s not. I obviously triggered a latent disorder or exacerbated my pre-existing condition but I am praying that I can get it back to where it used to be (its 100x worse in every way possible) and get rid of this depersonalization in time.
Has anybody ever experienced a reaction to marijuana like this? I messed up, I know it but I’m praying I didn’t ruin my life/future. I'm not suicidal and I'm absolutely determined to get better, I will fight nonstop and do everything necessary -- but in 5 years if I'm still living like this I would honestly kill myself. I do not want to die and just the thought of that and having these thoughts in my head are killing me because I have so much good to offer the world and I love life more than anything, it's truly beautiful, I want to be me again.
Please help me. I’m desperate.
45 likes, 522 replies
Gozac6414 Ihateweed89
Posted
Pls I need help, some months ago I smoked marijuana and got severe anxiety, I slept off woke up the next morning feeling fine then exactly a week later the anxiety came back I thought I was going to go mad my heart was pounding, I couldn't think straight lots of unconnected thoughts couldn't sleep so I took diazapam and I think that where my problem started, I woke up the next morning feeling like I never slept at all,a song stuck in my head to cut it short over the past five months this are my symptoms;
Intense Feeling like am in a dream
Head feels clogged
Can't hold a thought
Songs playing in my head
Annoying thoughts
Can't understand things the way they are like I could be watching a romance movie and be feeling scared
Can't sense my environment
Can't concentrate
Can't feel what what am seeing or hearing
Unconnected thoughts
Dream every day
Feel like am thinking while sleeping
Ears ringing
Pls this is too much for me I don't know if it was the weed or the drug that did this to me pls I really need help, always thinking of killing my self but I really want to live pls what should I do pls I hate weed if you are still following this post pls reply how are you now what did you do to etc better
robell70 Gozac6414
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justsmokePOT Ihateweed89
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Gozac6414 Ihateweed89
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Gozac6414 Ihateweed89
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robell70 Gozac6414
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Gozac6414 robell70
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Only God can save me now
Gozac6414 robell70
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Only God can save me now
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