Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)

I don't smoke weed. But one day I was on vacation at the cottage and my sisters bf had weed cookies. I ate a full cookie and had my first panic attack it was really scary. A few weeks later I started to get more and more of them. Now I get them at least twice a day and wake up in middle of night with them.

I've had the same experience with marijuana. Started smoking at 14 and stopped at 16. I played guitar in a rock band and loved it. My dream was to become a rock star. One typical night we got in the car to get high. Turned out to be the worst night of my life. Started hallucinating and panicking. Told my friends to bring me home. My parents' faces were melting. I started hearing voices. Had the strangest thoughts ever. I was thinking about aliens, demons, the devil you name it. I really experienced the dark side of life. I will admit it: that night I slept next to my parents. How embarassing is that? Very. A lot more disappointing for 2 loving and caring parents. The next day and following 2 weeks I still felt high. My life would never be the same again. Anxiety, depression, counseling, depersonalized, panick attacks, paranoid, bipolar, schizo, you freakin name it. I went through it all. To make a long story short, I didnt wanna be a rockstar anymore because all the drugs associated with that dream. I stopped hanging out with my friends or anybody that was into drugs. To this day I DESPISE the smell of marijuana. I hate the fact that united states is legalizing marijuana. I kept on saying over and over that I wanted my old life back. Guess what? Ain't gonna happen. but you know what? you have the potential to become a better person then you were before. A lot better. A lot more smarter. Its a blessing to still be alive 11 years later, married to a beautiful woman and with 2 wonderful kids. Ive been through hell and back. Am I fully healed? nope I dont think I will ever be. I have many phobias and try my best to avoid them. Many mood swings when I smell weed. my next door neighbor smokes all the time. absolutely cant stand it. I wanted to share my experience with all of you and wanna let you know that Im here to support you guys and girls 100%. If anybody needs help, or just someone to talk to. Someone that has gone through the same or worse. I AM HERE FOR YOU. God bless you all.

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i know the everyway for  stopping weed from daily life. so if u want my help contact me personally. don't it wouldn't cost nothing.   i m just trying to help u cz i know how much pain u r in ....... trust me or not i Can help u.... 

Hey man, this happened to me a long time ago. I tried weed for the first time when I was about 17. I immediately went into a dreamlike state and it lasted for about a year. Actually, I'm not sure if it ever went away .. NOBODY UNDERSTOOD what I was experiencing.. it's about 20 years later and I'm having these strange feelings again even though I never touched weed again. It may not be related to when I was 17, but just feel strange like things are bright and dreamlike. To me, it's like it opened a pathway in my brain that shouldn't have been opened, or closed a pathway. I've always been an anxious type of person, and think that might have something to do with it... Hang in there!!

Man, i've been searching on internet for someone who suffers from the same sh*t i've been suffering for six years now. Once in my life i tryed smook weed to become a cool guy, When i was teenager the other kids were used to call me bad names because i was i little fat, they caught my clothes and used to say if i say that to anyone they would beat me outside school, i kept inside school looking through the windows until the last guy would have gone, i cried a lot i couldn't do anything, i had no old brother to defense me from those guys, and then passed a few years my parents got separeted my father came home many times and hit my mom and again i could not do nothing to help my mom only cry, i grew up and became a nice guy but inside me i was broke when i tryed smok weed inside i was afraid what would my mom think about me if she discovered i had tryed marijuana during the effect i got panic attack, my mind told me i was in "hell" i had died and never more i would recover from that, I am desesperated too man, i would like anyone to help me i am from Brazil and my family don't understand what is going with me, i believe sometimes they tuink i continue smoking but i did it once in my life, i dont know what to do, it has been difficult to study,to work, to live... i think i have suffered a lot i want to wake up look out the window and enjoy living, the world outside me like unreal, my vision went worse and worse, help me please

I see this was posted a long time ago, but i have been living like this for about a year now, i wasnt aware that others have been through this, doctors have refused to help me, ive tried to do everything possible, ive come to the point in my life where ive lost connection with my family, friends, and everyone around me. im living a life of being completely alone and frustrated. ive become numb with this idea of unrealness and i am struggling ever second of my life. i gave up on medications and therapy, nothing has worked and professionals seem to have no answer for me. like you said i also had a panic attack while smoking weed, i had many, and was high for about 2 years straight smoking to relieve my depression, but it seems ive gone to far to a point i cant go back and doctors do nothing. i dont want to commit suicide, i want to live life and enjoy it and be happy and love everyone, but its so hard when im living like this, like you said, in 5 years.. it wont be worth it anymore. i dont know how to make it go away and it feels like everything i do makes it worse, i quit weed, alchohal, all types of medications, trying to make every possible positive change in my life... i would really like to hear about where you are with this, and if theres been any positive progress to you and for anyone going through this please reach out to someone, i find that talking to people who dont seem real are better then talking to nobody at all. and anyhelp is good help.

Hi

This my story ,I never found anything on line so close to my experience

When I was 18 and studying in school I developed a fear of my own thoughts.

It went like this, when I am studying something, another thought would come in and say, how can you study, I am aware that you are studying now, so the more you try to study, you won’t be able to because I know you are trying to study (the intrusive thought itself blocked me)(I don’t think it’s like telling someone not to think of an elephant, its seems like there is a force not to accomplish what I would like to do).I developed heart  palpitations from it for about 2 weeks, the most horrible  moment in my life up until that age. So I stopped studying and started doing sports like basketball and that was a fair way for me to avoid thinking about my negative thoughts.

When I was 22, I took marijuana  (or at least I thought it was) and went into total panic about that fear I developed ,my fear felt like its 100 times the size, so I started to run, so my mind should try to think about something else,so of course that itself intensified  the fear. After a while my mind went into self-analyzing itself with all sorts of destructive thoughts and fears (which I can’t remember) .I came to a point where I lost confidence in my ability to know when I am aware of doing something or unaware of doing it, (I know this all in mind, but it felt very real) which made me think that I might cross a street without knowing that I am crossing it .My head felt like it was going to explode until i gave up and said, yes, I lost control, then I sat down holding my head ,It felt like it was a breakdown of my abilities psychologically (I still relive that moment today when I am falling asleep, I would get get jolted by that feeling ,but my mind still wants to sleep, and it would happen again and again until I force myself to wake up ,go to a chair ,sit down for about an hour and then go back to sleep). There were a lot more self-destructive thoughts that I can’t remember any more. Anyway the marijuana started warring off.  I came home (this was at night) and looked in the mirror and I was happy that at least I look the same.

I went to sleep saying to myself this was hopefully a bad dream .When I woke up in the morning I felt strange, because when I was in a room ,I didn’t feel like i was in it, I felt like i am somewhere else ......I feel like this up until today ...I am 60 now...this happened 38 years ago.I think the reason I don’t feel like I am in a place although I know I am, is because my subconscious  mind thinks its still under the influence of the drug.

A few days later I had to take valium ...I couldn’t handle my fears

I started going to therapists on the hope that I can be like I was before I took the marijuana, but no avail. Then I had to take Anfnaril to ssris to Effexor

A year and a half ago the Effexor stopped working and started to make me feel worse so my Dr started changing my medications up until 3 weeks ago. Nothing seems to work anymore .

My Dr. went on vacation and  decided to try to go without the meds (I just stayed on klonopin).

My  question is

1)      how do I handle the fear of: how can you study, I am aware that you are studying now, so the more you try to study, you won’t be able to because I know you are trying to study.

2)      Since all my fears all happened and developed under the influence of a drug ,they are all in my subconscious mind how can I do an AWARE program ,I don’t know what many of the fears are ,they are spinning in my head and my mind is trying to protect me from them?

 Thank you very much

Hi there i've looked through the same window for many many years let me tell you its not a rare condition and there is alot more help out there now  than in the time i suffered , quick history on myself i  came from a bad up bringing due to my parents having problems i wasn't treated nicely at all , moving along it was later 17 year old when weed was introduced to use ( a group of mates ) we started  smoking it continuously for about a 1,1/2 years or so, everything was ok up to then , then acid came along thats were it started first 2 trips were mild and  ok, it's  a a situation wether its the weed or the acid or both the experience is much the same with individual differences 

  The next acid trip  changed my whole horizon when i came down. then  2 weeks latter it started like something niggling  it eventially  intoxicated every part of me it was stuck in my psyche it was a bad bad time i thought i was going mad no one had answers and i was scared to get help because of what they may think of me and maybe i just didn't wont to know, the anxiety/fear one night sent me blind for half a minute i was reading the bible trying to keep focused  at the time i could feel it building up and then it just sweeped over me for that moment or so,the brain saps at night that use to roar through my head at night  momentarily leave paralysed these were the physycal effects the thoughts were killing me i'd lost myself i'd withdrawn lost all my confidence i was a babbling idiot it took every thing that i was and replaced it with negative scenarios, 24/7  continuous tinnitus in the ears visual distortions shimmering vibrating ever so slightly  grainy surfaces a more this happened to me 42 years ago 

 As i will tell you more i've run out of time and got to go to work 

just remember its a thought dont wrestle it away   take its power away by not reacting to it and not giving it the attention that you normallyt give, those are the things that drive it its your reaction that fuels it and the feelings behind it. At the moment quickly i've weaned myself of medication after 20 years,

catch up with you soon 

 

Its hard thing to do but i iknow it works for me, you have to remember you are not in your right frame of mind and you are reacting to it activates more so  and it changes your brain chems by your very reaction  adrenaline stress all sorts of things without getting technical  now that drives it more so, you have to start look at it differently its strength is in the way you react to it at the end of the day the 2 componets are its a thought and a feeling that you put to it ,  is reality ? if not which  is almost always, then it serve no purpose it is an intrusive negative thought the trick is DONT react to it sound easy ? it takes  time practice its an attitude shift, 

When every you catch the thought or it comes to you dont push it away let it play along  you are not give it much notice and your not going to qualify it by reacting with fear you know in your heart you have a deep sense of trust and im not going to be emotional stuff around its an unlikly scenario.important get upset avoid any fearful emotional reactions 

Next part in dealing with this is to down grade the the importance of the thoughts  and images, using imagery you recreate with this  cartoon characteristics, imagine Donald Duck telling it to you with an anxious squeaky voice with with stupidly over size shoes for instance now you are really scared by doing this to your fearful intrusive thoghts it tkes away the authority you would normally have over you.

the better detailed to this imagery you create the better it works , 

The  2 point are that you never over react when it spring upon you secondly you rerun it in a cartoon way and make it rediculously silly as you rephrazed thought .

last point for tonight when ever you feel a panic attack coming on for no likely life threatening reason,  Firstly don't go looking for thoughts to justify or unjustify this very inmportant  do not think at all, the only thing that is  relavent at this momemt is a feeling but  but dont push it away, go with the feeling  with it its just a physical squirmish feeling when at this point there is nothing to sustain it it will decrease the thinking go's to  breathing pattern you need to do breath in 1/3 of the way hold it and count to 3 then exhale most of hold count to 10 and repeat it takes practice and control,.

By  practices all of the things i've discussed takes away the the importances and by this same nature slows down the frequency and strenght of these episodes

to a point were you can control the outcome

  Cheers Mick 

 

    cheers for now 

I'm sure people are wondering how I'm doing.

Short answer, not good.

I have OCD, GAD, clinical depression, depersonalization disorder and a psychosomatic pain disorder.

I had OCD/GAD from birth and the marijuana undoubtedly made my conditions worse and gave me depersonalization and a psychosomatic pain disorder.

I've done CBT, used pharmacological intervention, I've done it all and I have a very long way to go -- if getting better is even a possibility. A stressful incident also triggered everything and this was not drug related but a stressful life event.

Here are the facts -- if you are an anxious person or suffer from a mental disorder and you do drugs, you are playing with your life. You're playing Russian roulette.

If you want to believe marijuana is good for anxiety and all of that other nonsense, go ahead. I know the truth since I'm living it and I've read about it all over the internet, every now and then someone like me gets iced and becomes very, very mentally ill.

Long story short, if you suffer from mental issues, stay away from drugs. If you don't, you're a moron. If you argue or disagree with me, really, I don't care, it's your future so if you end up psychologically incapacitated, it doesn't bother me at all.

To those suffering:

-get diagnosed

-start CBT, learn about metacognition, learn about ERP, learn about ACT

-use pharmaceuticals if you need it (I don't personally recommend benzos and if you're going to use them, SHORT TERM USE ONLY, DO NOT BECOME DEPENDENT)

-seek professional help (therapy, social workers, whatever)

-find a support system

-lifestyle changes (no drugs, no drinking, cut caffeine, eat better, sleep better, exercise, etc)

Mental health isn't a game. It's serious business. If you're struggling, get your ass in gear and start being proactive. If you don't, it's not going to end up pretty.

To all these people saying "weed didn't do anything" -- yadda yada, I hope all people with half a brain ignore them. It triggers mental disorders and can make you way worse than you were already.

I don't respond to private messages much because I don't enjoy having to discuss this type of idiocy. I should be making 90k/year and having sex with 10s 3 times a week on my scheduled breaks from work. Instead I'm mentally and physically ill because of psychological issues, on work leave, making $0/yr and life is just horrendous.

I hope many of you take my advice and recover. For me, it's still possible, I didn't realize many of the problems were in my mind but that's because mental illness created these problems. I used to think I was normal but really, all of the sh*t I had been experiencing since I was 5 (negative thought patterns, anxious behaviour, etc etc) was all apart of GAD. Compulsions, obsessions, fixation, all apart of OCD.

It is what it is, I hope you work hard and get better.

Good luck.

Thought I'd check in also, been going through this since February 2013. I am now at the stage where I am almost myself again, it seems to come in cycles for me at the moment, I feel ok for a few weeks then end up in the hole again for a few. Have stopped seeing my therapist, as I felt we were continually going over the same thing. I have regained a bit of trust in myself and my own perception, which honestly is invaluable in beating this thing in my opinion. The moment you stop trusting yourself your mind is given permission to run wild. Which mine did and still does if I let it. You have to try and stay grounded in reality. It is a hyper vigilant state you enter after experiencing trauma. Your mind is looking for danger everywhere as a means of self preservation. Another thing I've learnt is that being in this state is highly exhausting, and remembering to keep your blood suger up is invaluable. This stopped the trembling for me instantly. I do remember a time when the thought of eating anything made me want to throw up, however I can now see that all it did was make me feel worse. Your brain can't function properly on an empty stomach, that's basic logic!

I've also realised today that a few members have tried to pm me which I didn't reply to, I can only apologize, this is the first time I've been involved in a forum of any kind, and didn't realise I'd had any messages. I know the score now though!

And lastly, be kind to yourselves! It sounds a bit wet but you've obviously been through a lot, and the last thing you need to be doing is beating yourself up even more about it.

Keep fighting.

Hey I've been going through this same thing but with me I keep seeing time replay I know everything I do I've done it before but when I try something different it's still just the same thing as before I have seen myself die multiple times I keep seeing a giant Satan face and I do remember speaking to someone after I died asking me if I want to keep my memories I heard this story that our bodies are like gods palace and every time we smoke we go down a level I didn't believe in this until now and I 'remember a dream when I was younger seeing myself now talking to me back then saying I should never smoke when I'm older I had another dream once where I was God creating my own life... I know this doesn't sound real I know you must think I'm crazy but I really want help I know I can be something greater than this