Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)

I have had really bad trips with weed a few times and I still smoke today. Why? because the good outweighs the "bad". During the bad trips I loose my sense of self and time. I can't focus on a single thing like walking or if someone says something to me I can't figure out what to say cause I can't remember the question or I'm busy panicking cause I feel like my reality is different and I'm trying to fight it and get myself back to the mentality that I had before. I swear up and down that im never smoking pot again after this during the episode and i sit there thinking why people even smoke weed if it feels like this and is this the dissociation they are looking for when high. The answer is no...you are just tripping balls, congratulations rookie. Its true that there is bad weed out there and weed could be laced and that may cause the bad trip as well. The weed i smoke right now is good quality and from licensed dispensaries and I can honestly say I can have a bad trip with it if i get "too high too fast"/smoke too much of it. I know this because before i had the bad trip whenever i smoked weed i didnt feel "high". I felt relaxed but normal and didnt realize what being "high" was until after the first panic attack. I kept smoking weed after that to try to figure out what went wrong since mostly everyone i knew that smoked pot enjoyed it and never experienced the bad trip. I think i might be sensitive to the chemicals in weed like thc. So now i only take one strong hit and sit there waiting/watching tv/etc. for like 15 min for my state of mind to change a little like feel relaxed or whatever and then take another hit and repeat until i feel like im high enough or i just decide to go to sleep (cause im so high). whenever i do this routine i dont have panic attacks and i enjoy it. I also noticed that if l take 3 strong hits in the span of 5 minutes i will trip out. At that point i no longer get so scared as before because i know exactly what is happening and i know that for the next few hours or so depending on how much i smoked im going tofeel the dissociation and all the other negative side effects i mentioned before. i dont like it but i tell myself to "ride it out" you smoked too much turn the tv on and sit there cause you literally cant do anything else when tripping out and just dont do it again. My personal opinion is that when I am experiencing the bad trip i am too busy scared of dying and not being able to get my mind back to the way it was and just never experiencing life the same way again. And that scared me. Now i know i will be okay and its just the drugs playing tricks on my mind. Im not so scared of death anymore as I believe it will come whenever it is my time. I haven't had a bad trip in awhile and i still hate them and wouldn't wish them on anyone but if it happens again to me I will know the reason why and how to handle it. Anyways, i hope i made sense and if i didn't i apologize. I actually ran into this forum on accident googling " is it bad smoking one strain after another" to see if anyone experienced a bad trip so I wouldn't do it lol. (I'm running low on weed and have two strains left). I am wondering if the people with continued paranoia or anxiety even after quitting marijuana had the same fears as i did.

Hope you are finding ways to cope! You may be able to fin solice that your not alone, by reading on this disscussion board.  I will make my life storey short and sweet as possible.  I assume that I have had anxiety/depression/PTSD my whole. I was taken by my parents when I was five.  Lived in foster homes for 6 years, that neglective in emotional ways, not to mention abusive in mental and physical ways.  I was even sexual abused by a neighbor that never got dealt with.  Of course me being so young at the time, I didn't know what it was till I got older.  Finally adopted by a family, to only suffer more mental and physical abuse.  Eventually switched schools, which I am sure made my anxiety/depression worse.  Made friends with the wrong crowd, drinking lots of alcohol and getting in trouble with the law.  Had what I believe several panic attacks when I smoked marijuana at times.  But ignorant as I was then, continued.  The final straw was I the worst episode of panic from smoking marijuan, it screwed me up mentally for the rest of my life.  By mentally,  I have suffered from chronic anxiety.  Possibly PTSD from childhood/episode of anxiety from marijuana and it's after affects.  Eventually saw counselors, and got diagnosis' Which I battle with becaue it made me feel inadequate (Perfectionism) I still suffer with perfectionism, because I should be able to cope and control my anxiety.  I do cope when medications working, currenty taking antidepressent that is specific for anxiety disorders. I am currently struggling with a medication switch, which is reeking some havoc.  I was on Paxil 50 mg,  talked with doctor about switching.  I am know on Lexapro 20 mg.  With my anxiety/overthinking/perfectionism, what if's, and so is difficult.  I do believe that my doctor most likely did not handle my switch of meds.  I had read others issues when switching.  My Dr. did not explain process of going from one medication to another.  What I did is automatically start taking new medication.  I have read that they were told about weening of one, stopping then starting new medication.  I don't know, but great for someone that is anxiety/perfectionist that feels they have to get it right (perfect) or it may not work?  The crazy think is I live in WA state.  Well, it come up on ballot to legalized.  I made the mistake of voting for it.  I wish I hadn't.  Because it sends a wrong message to those unaware to mental issues that come with smoking it, especially if you are inexperienced to its affects.  Well, If any thing you may benefit or others benefit from my experience. Hope all those that have posted on here, that have experience negative affects.  Will eventually find peace, and get help needed to find it! 

damn what i typed wasnt actually coming up  so i am doing a much faster version. im in my 40's done about most drugs out there at least once i was also a 16 yr stoner all day everyday and like you i have anxiety and bipolar disoreder which i always taken meds for but now w/out the drugs in the mix i am doing good enough but your story sounds like my first acid trip, lol but relax weed is completely out of your body now been 28 days i am assuming only 2 times did i have the similar effects while smoking pot 1 time was when i started taking lithium got high freaked out thought i was gonna die , well i didnt and it wasnt the weed it was the med, other time was when i syarted taking geodon same exact thing called the ambulance. its the meds i assume you were taking when you got high if that is the case your problem would seem to be ptsd, not trying to be funny i am for real cause it scared the hell out of me but i qiut taking the med to something that didnt have any side effects with pot , kie i said i was a stoner just meditate when you get anxious and remembber it was not the weed  it was a combo of med w/weed or weed was laced but still it is over now everytime the scary thoughtd get into your head quickly make a distraction i turn un cod ghost or work  , working always helps me most turn the radio on you just need to keep your spirits high it will stop i promise i was using drugs for almost 20 yrs 15 those were pot and it was not a gateway 1st drug i ever did was acid but ive been clean 3 yrs and its like i never took drugs before other than the one that haunts the most which were opiates in my case but sounds like you are haveing anxiety attacks about an anxiety attack you are gonna be fine bro just stay away from drugs altogether and deffinitelt no opiates to come of those is nearly impossible w/out death or suicide i am a lucky one i suppose  i hope that helps take care ,,,,, sorry about mjsspelling but i cant type and look at the screen and dont have time to spell check    GOOD LUCK

Seems my response is more than a year out, so I hope this finds you well. I'm responding to validate your experience, as well as share my own to help others who've experienced this same thing know that they are alone or crazy. I never had (nor do I have) anything against pot. I wasn't afraid of it, and when I tried it for the first few times I looked forward to the pleasant, relaxing, humorous experiences everyone I had known/witnessed seemed to experience. First few times (in my teens) I had been drinking in a party situation, having a great time, then took a few hits off of passing joints. I found myself feeling "down", total buzz kill. Just wanted to sleep and now, not so impressed with pot. The third time I smoked it, I had just gotten to a a party well underway. I had not drank yet, and started taking hits off of joints from the same batch at least 10 other people were smoking and enjoying. Out of NO WHERE, I began shaking/trembling...so violently I felt like I was convulsing. My heart was pounding out of my chest, I had weird physical feelings of coldness in different areas... Like wearing a cold bathing cap, then coldness in my chest, or my lips or an arm, my back, fingers... Traveled. There was a strange feeling of detachment from my "self" a disconnect from the present reality. So strange. Having all the feelings of panic when I wasn't afraid of anything. Of course all these weird, unexpected symptoms certainly fueled the panic. I was having an odd stream of nonsensical thoughts and images, couldn't seem to focus on anything comforting. This lasted for hours. If I could have stopped shaking enough to sleep...I was afraid to fall asleep and potentially subject myself to hours of disturbing dreams I'd be helpless to wake from. After eventually sleeping for about 6 hours that night... I was "OK" the next morning. Shaken, but no longer shaking. Glad to feel myself again, but profoundly changed by having those feelings of detachment and disconnect that I never imagined I would ever experience. I had always been acutely self-aware, centered, present. Mind you, NO ONE else experienced anything I did, and most smoked much more than I did of the exact batch of weed. Boy, was I special or what? I did find that when I tried to figure out what happened, thought about it too much, I started to relive it and would almost have an empathetic panic attack. So. I stopped trying to figure it out. Stopped thinking about it. Stuck to drinking and politely declined to toke for about 20 years. Fast forward to a Rheumatoid Arthritis diagnosis and painful, reconstructive hand surgery. A friend brought over some weed, and one or two hits of this new generation, stronger weed would deaden the pain enough for me to sleep. Now, here I am, a much more educated, even in the medical field... and a friend made a batch of "therapeudic" pot brownies. I ate a square the same size as 4 other women. We're all having wine, chit-chatting, laughing... BOOM!! I start shaking. Violently. Heart pounding, beating wildly. Sensory functions going haywire...hot/cold spots from head to toes, like someone was hitting me with Bengay soaked sponges. Random, nonsensical, sometimes disturbing images and thought streams, feeling detached/disconnected... At least I knew, over 30 years later, this would pass. But it would take hours. And it was miserable. And no one understood. Yes, I felt like i was in Hell and was afraid I would die, but at least my older, experienced, educated self knew I'd survive. I played music I love and online word games to keep my mind off uncontrollable thoughts until I could sleep. So, I don't come here with answers, only a shared experience that hopefully validates your own, and those of others unfortunate as we are. It's a brain chemistry thing. It's seemingly rare. I don't know why we are singled out to have this reaction to a drug that overwhelmingly brings pleasure and/benefits to nearly everyone else. But that's my reality, and yours, and a small subset of the general pop it seems. I had been willing to write off my early negative reactions as isolated, never happen again instances and with decades in between, who would have thunk??!! Now, unless I know the how and why this happens to me, and how to completely avoid it... I'm completely, and regrettably avoiding pot. I've studied, support and applaud it's benefits, and so wish I could experience the fun so many do... I can't risk going through this "Hell" again.

All I can say is it was not the weed if you think that your just wrong. Thinking those prescription drugs are going to help is just... Wow