Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)

Hey. Just spotted your thread and can relate 100%

Was just wondering how you're holding up.

Idk if you have been having any gastro issues with this but I went through a good 2 years of this starting in 2010. I thought it was all kinds of things until I did an isolation diet and found out I had something called Celiac Disease. I was intollerant to all kinds of foods and when I ate them I got brain fog and anxiety after a while. After cutting out all grains and a few other things I started feeling normal again. I doubt this is your issue but if you have tried everything else you might aswell look into that. Try a paleo diet and take a multi-vitamin with it. I hope this helps in some way even if you don't have what I have.

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You need to get used to who you've become. I get these too, the thoughts constantly, but I've learnt to change it so they work in my favour. You're not alone. I feel personally someone's helping me. I really do. I felt like you a year ago. But after I passed that I lost all my feelings. Because my feelings had been fighting one another for so long About what I was thinking and how it was making me feel and how I am to people etc. they just all gave up and I was too late to fix myself. So if you can do everything you can or you will hit the bottom and you really won't care. Go doctors and etc.

god how I can relate to so many of u..

I was about 15 or 16 when I first experienced a full blown panic attack in the cafeteria of my high school. Vision became tunneled, loud sounds of the room began to lower, felt dizzy, heart was racing and I soon began to feel like I was losing consciousness. BANG. From there on I started missing school, avoiding it in fear of the attack reoccuring. I began to see a school therapist who after several sessions suggested I omit myself to teen help centre at a psychiatric hospital. There I was diagnosed with Panic disorder and Major depression. I was prescribed Celexa and after 2 months of therapy with other kids my age I was able to reintegrate into school and conquer my fears. I was stable enough to complete my education at high school and graduate.

Shortly after graduating, I began college in communications (Cinema). This is also around the time where I first started experimenting with weed. My girlfriend at that time introduced me to the drug and I was curious. With a bit of peer pressure i started to smoke up a few times per week but with her and her only. I had my share of bad trips but I soon began to love the sense of euphoria it brought me. Meanwhile, I was doing great in school, and I mean great! Enjoyed the program so much, made friends easily and was very liked by the majority of students. (Also important to mention that I was taking Celexa 40mg every night). 2 semesters passed and I decided it was time for me to break up with the girl I was dating. I could not take the stress she was causing me due to her Borderline Personality Disorder. Despite all the amazing adventures we had together, I put an end to the madness. I also stopped smoking marijuana cause I had no one to smoke with anymore and never spent a penny on it cause I was always using what she bought.

I continued my session at college, although less motivated, I started to go out with many girls and created many memorable and sad moments. I eventually went back to smoking pot. I made 2 really good friends one of which became my girlfriend and we stuck together like a family. That summer of 2015, was the craziest time of my life, and by crazy i mean amazing. Around this time I was purchasing my own weed as were my friends. Besides being high almost all the time, we went on camping trips, bike trips and pretty much lived outdoors.

The euphoric haze soon came to an end as summer came to an end. We had built a tight bond and were full of new ideas as art students in the making... Existential thoughts, psychedelic music, sex, marijuana, poetry and just sheer beauty... Now it's just painful nostalgia... But before I get to that...

That fall I decided to drop out from college. I was close to finishing but was not altogether motivated to continue. My friend also decided to drop out and my gf abandoned university. Winter came and we found a perfect room in my building to isolate ourselves in till its passing. We would meet up and spend hours in this room, watching winter do its work from a small window of the rooms door. After countless joints in a matter of 2 and half months, it hit me... I had a panic attack and my reality was completely distorted...very very scary. From that day on I would not stop waking up with an utterly crippling anxiety Symptoms included; derealization/ Depersonalization,everything looked strange, my neighbourhood looked unfamiliar and my anxiety was out of control, trouble concentrating, disconnected from my friends... It was Hell!!!!!. I can remember telling my mom I wanted to die because I could not take what I was experiencing. (I already knew what dp/dr were and had already experienced it before in my life but only for short moments) My mother, brothers and friends were completely puzzled and scared so eventually we called an ambulance and I was hospitalized at a psychiatric department... 2 months... They told me I was having withdrawal symptoms from marijuana along with depression and anxiety. I was seriously out of it. I just let the doctors do their work and hoped for best. They began treatment with medications. Here's a list of the meds they tried on me;

1. Seroquel, Abilify with what I was already taking (celexa)

No improvement after a few weeks. My depersonalization was only getting worst. Dream like state was killing me... Doctors confirmed it wasn't a psychosis since I was able to act normally and that I would not be worrying about a psychosis if I really had one. I began to obsess over everything I felt and did numerous searches on google from the hospital to understand what the hell was happening to me. I felt distant from myself everytime I talked to a doctor or nurse. I did not feel connected to my own words. Started having nightmares, became delusional with the help I was being given in this place, felt like nurses, docs, psych were all punishing me! I began to lose more and more hope as the second cocktail of meds (Respirdol, Effexor and Ativan) failed to ease the mental pain I was suffering.

After 2 months of absolute freaking hell, I was released..

I'm now home... And feel worst than ever. Currently being weened off all the meds I'm on which include Ativan 1.5 mg(0.5 x3 daily am/noon/night) Effexor 225mg in the morning , and 15mg of Remeron at night.

I feel like I've lost myself. I don't know what I like anymore. Constantly confused on what to do. Can't commit to any activity cause I feel so depersonalized. Negative thoughts. Can't be myself with my gf. Feel like im floating through life. Very Sensitive to light. Can't wake up knowing I have to face reality. Taking less and less care of myself. Memories aren't clear and feel like dreams. I can't leave home without my brother or mother by my side. I litterally can't enjoy anything!! It is terrifying to be outside cause everything looks so strange and unfamiliar. I feel like I'm trapped in this body I have to forcefully care for daily!! I feel disconnected from my own family, can't see my friends cause everytime I do Im reminded of the past me, the funny , full of life and energy me, the me with big ideas for the future. Almost everything causes me anxiety. Just moving around in my own body. I can't work or go back to school right now . I'm stuck with myself and this thing we call reality everyday. I can't even listen to the music I once loved cause It's way too painful to hear! I'm really afraid of being by myself. My family is really supportive but I feel so disconnected from them. Nothing feels real. I've become dependant on my family to the point I cannot make my own decisions! I'm really losing it... My creativity and artist side has been completely wiped out and I feel like deep down I have given up in some way. I feel so lost... I miss my old self so so so much!! I don't know who or what I am!! I'm 23, no longer smoke weed, or drink caffeinated drinks like red bull or coffee and haven't since the incident in the room of my building.

Please if someone can help me out with a few words... What's going on with me... ? I want my old self back ...

I can't take this anymore... And I feel like I'll never wake up from this...I've never attempted any form of self harm or suicide but I don't want to live like this.... Where did reality go? It feels so fake out there... So loud... Overwhelming as hell..

Hey well I am experiencing the same thing your going through right about now yes we did messed up who hasn't but we never knew it was going to turn on a light switch on against our life we are talking about freighting here we now suffering anxiety disorder for crying out loud but of course no one know what we are going through we don't need tuff love we need love just like everyone else. Now what I do is I eat healthy all the time now sweetie exercise everyday for about 30 to an hour a day it helps a lot do meditation every night before bed do not take medication for anxiety disorder it sucks badly and u don't want to mess up our life afterwards because getting off of them u going to have the worst withdrawals ever ugh FYI that's what I heard but I don't take it! Even though having a panic attack try now to panic even more think real hard about something else like telling urself it not afraid of them breath very slow lay or sitting up with our eyes close so u can concentrate it will go away and u will be fine after that u have to fight them u have to take the anxiety its scary trust me but to me because I have them its going away to me I was worst oh gosh but now I'm getting better I'll have it here and there but I use to have it everyday.. Another thing I do is don't ever talk about it ever that's why it having it u worrying about it to much I sing so me singing kinda gets it out my head if I can't think happy places do get lots of rest it will rest it mind and that's about it u just have to have faith its the devil that's in our mind if u can't block it by thinking about other things try to do something to keep ur mind busy I hope this works.

I know this is a really late reply but I just to let you know I have had this feeling it really does hurt me to read that you have been feeling like this for a long time it's a horrible feeling the first time i smoked weed I had about 5 or 6 cones and I greened out I didn't vomit but It The felt like it was in slow motion and spinning. the day after I, I lost my appetite and I was hysterically crying in my room for about 4 days it's a horrible feeling i really thought I had stuffed up my life. About a week after I had a few drinks and the effects of that were doubled because of the fluoxetine I take after 4 drinks I smoked again but I didn't get the same feeling as the first I felt good that time I was happy. The day after I was feeling abit down but not like the first time it felt like it was just from the alcahol but I've noticed ever since I first smoked I haven't had as good memory and I don't feel like myself sometimes I don't even know how I feel anymore I don't notice things I don't even know if I feel like I'm in my own body or I do feel like I am I really hope you are feeling better by now it's such a horrible feeling

Hi Everyone,

It's been awhile.

I wanted to invite you all to subscribe to my YouTube channel and checkout all of the videos that I will be posting. A lot will involve my personal situation but a lot will also be helpful and specfic to sufferers who have newly acquired a manifesting mental disorder.

Talk soon.

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I have smoked weed for 4 years now, almost on a daily basis, and I can tell you that everything is fine. I don't want to sound like some hippie but i think that high opened your mind. I was really a happy and carefree(or whatever's the word) guy and after some time, i think it has opened my eyes too. I started seeing flaws, started to think more rationally... in short, i began to see the world as it is. Then i began to think about life and death 24/7. I was really depressed that period. One month or two i was busting my head with thoughts like "when will my time come", "am i ready to die if i have to die soon"... but one day i realised that it was all in my head. I continued to see the world and people in a slight disgust, i still knew and i still know i am going to die one day but without breaking my head and sanity. I realised that nothing bad happened, just got my point of view a bit wider. It may appear terrifying(that what you're experiencing) but just relax, have a cigar(if you smoke) and just try to realise that everything is OK because it IS. You may not like the world as you see it but thats how it really looks like and just embrace it. Then, when you embrace it, youll rejoice. Just remember that your mind is very strong and that you can be happy and normal with noone's help but that of you yourself.

I had quite similar incident, In the beggining I have so many cognitive difficulties that I thought I am going crazy, I started to theorize about my condition and I think It really didnt helped me much. Time definitely heals in this case But I most also say I am not anywhere close to be fully recovered.

It is also hard to explain my condition to anyone else and it seems nobody quite gets what I mean. I don't know if this is beacuse I have gotten dumb or the condition is so weird and unsimilar that it makes it hard to explain or simply I have gone totally nuts(but friends disagree with the last option). I have seen doctors aswell.

Please do share anyone on this forum if anything helped you with this.

[I rather not go into the detail but in the case if someone needs just send PM or leave comment here!

I apologize since I am not native English-man but I Think my English is good enough to handle any conversation regarding the issue.]

If you have anxiety issues smoking high THC marijuana isn't the best choice. THC as everyone knows is the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana. Which means it can trigger this pretty quickly and exasperate the symptoms. Usually the best treatment for anxiety if you're going to use marijuana is marijuana/cannabis with high CBD and little to no THC. THC triggers different receptors in the brain and in strains with high THC it is easier for the THC to trigger paranoia, anxiety etc. It depends on the user and what strain you're smoking as well. Strains: sativa, indica, and hybrid: sativa and indica. Usually with hybrids though one or the other is dominant depending on whats been grown.

Usually sativa dominant hybrids or sativa strains alone, have higher THC. Sativa's are also more of a head high which means it's activating your brain more and usually Sativa's are the strains that have people feeling paranoid, they have anxiety etc. From my experience I try to stay away from sativa dominant or sativa strains entirely. Also you can tell if it's a sativa that you're smoking because you feel more energetic, like you wanna move around and it also in some people it causes them to talk a lot because they're thinking.

Indica dominant strains/indica dominant hybrids still have THC of course, but it's more of a body high. It's still activating the brain but it's activating the more relaxed calm feeling that some people get the couch lock you don't want to move and you feel very tired feeling. Those are Indica strains. They make for a better more pleasant experience when you smoke pot.

I know that you won't ever smoke pot again. I was that way as well when I my anxiety attack from the first time I smoked. I had another one back into 2014 and had a weird feeling of depersonalization also. I still smoke it, but very occasionally and I don't smoke a lot I literally take one small hit and I'm done. I have a limit basically and I don't smoke it that often. I don't smoke weed if I don't know what strain it is and if it it looks weird or suspicious i don't smoke it either. I also don't smoke it if I don't know the person.

Heres another FYI... vaporizers are a lot stronger and have more THC if it was a vaporizer with weed anyway. it's also possible that something else was in the vaporizer other than weed. It's also possible that you didn't smoke weed, but you smoked "spice" the fake weed that isn't weed basically. Also if the weed you got was from a dispensary, I don't know where you're from, but a lot of the dispensaries where I'm from spray a chemical on the weed to make it grow "faster." This doesn't happen at alot of dispensaries, but a lot of them do always get weed grown organically. From a trusted dealer. My bf stopped going to dispensaries because of this reason.

Anyway I hope this was informative...