Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)
Posted , 268 users are following.
Hi,
In December of 2012 I made a completely moronic mistake. I smoked a lot of weed and had a panic attack. I took a few hits of a joint, was already too high without realizing it and then I got passed a vaporizer and hit that without realizing how powerful it was. I didn’t even know what a vaporizer was, it was my 3rd time smoking pot in my life and it has been haunting me to this day.
The next day when I woke up I felt what I later found out to be depersonalization/derealisation. I went on an SSRI and after 2 months of complete HELL I was able to live…decently. That being said, my anxiety was through the roof, I was having physical symptoms that I never, ever had – or even knew existed for that matter, I’ve been getting weird, annoying thoughts, halos around lights, visual distortions and a bunch of other stuff that’s been hard to deal with.
Now I’m really ambitious and despite feeling this way I just kept pushing through, I ended up moving cities, switching my life, was studying nonstop, doing music production, working, blah blah and I had a panic attack one day that seems to have relapsed me into the exact same hell that I endured when I smoked that pot.
I should also mention that I got off of my SSRI about 3-4months ago because of sexual side effects and I think that was a bad idea. I’m back on Ciprilex 10mg, in a mood and anxiety program, I’ve purchased a couple programs, im eating better (when I can actually eat), going to the gym, etc. I will do ANYTHING to get my life back. Before this I was a 3.97GPA student and I was making good money, loving life. Now I can’t go to school this September and I’m flat broke – I feel like I’m living in hell.
I knew I had GAD before this but it was always controllable. I was always told marijuana was good for anxiety and I know firsthand that for me, it’s not. I obviously triggered a latent disorder or exacerbated my pre-existing condition but I am praying that I can get it back to where it used to be (its 100x worse in every way possible) and get rid of this depersonalization in time.
Has anybody ever experienced a reaction to marijuana like this? I messed up, I know it but I’m praying I didn’t ruin my life/future. I'm not suicidal and I'm absolutely determined to get better, I will fight nonstop and do everything necessary -- but in 5 years if I'm still living like this I would honestly kill myself. I do not want to die and just the thought of that and having these thoughts in my head are killing me because I have so much good to offer the world and I love life more than anything, it's truly beautiful, I want to be me again.
Please help me. I’m desperate.
45 likes, 522 replies
lukis89141 Ihateweed89
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john03458 Ihateweed89
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Hey dude
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. What's happened is the THC withdrawal is kicking in. It's pretty crap I know buthat THC is stored in your fay cells which means you have to exercise to burn it off and p*ssed it out of your system. That's why it can takes weeks/ months or even years depending on your level of use and duration. Your body is resetting itself slowly and will get there.
I myself have been smoking since I was 13 and now I'm 36 - have tried to give up before but then returned to it because I couldn't handle the withdrawal. It's been 6 weeks now and I'm still suffering from lack of sleep and serious anxiety/anger.
You sound determined and I urge you to continue. Keep reminding yourself why your doing it and when you do feel withdrawal then tenons upside that's a good thing - your body is resetting slowly.
Best wishes dude
john_65512 Ihateweed89
Posted
This happened to me 3 times each much worse then the previous, every time these attacks occur, I question everything, such as life and existence. My way of feeling myself is simply by convincing myself it never happened in the first place. I sometime just stare at my nose, and I feel like me. It's just takes time and eventually after enough concentration life feels normal.
My suggestions to u are, 1. Jack off a lot. Jacking off gives off dopamine and once youved used some it's almost like u feel yourself. Weird but true. Secondly, try not to overthink life. Enjoy it as much as u possibly can. Third, do not stay up late. My 3rd hallucination had been by me staying up late enough to where my head started to assume I was high. Ever since the night that occurred, life's been hard but I feel like tomorrow is the day it comes to end and where I'll be back to normal. By the way the night was about 1 month ago. Hope this helps and hope that we'll be okay soon
Piggymj john_65512
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natdavauer john_65512
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You said you've been suffering for a month. Are you back to normal yet?
Piggymj Ihateweed89
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Netminder1976 Piggymj
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What's going on? How long have you been off of it?
Piggymj Netminder1976
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Okay so I have had two experiences . One I hit a gravity bong and got really high and I think I passed out and it was very dream like there wasn't really any reality . I finally came out of it and felt weird for about 24 hours but I was fine .. About a month later I started having weird thoughts about life that I thought came from this weed trip experience but that went away . For some reason I smoked once or twice again and it was 100 percent fine but then about 6 months later from the gravity bong I hit a regulator bong and it was different this time I was very paranoid and twitchy and felt like I was having an anxiety attack . It was so so awful .I felt weird for about 2 Days but then I was fine .. That was in 2016 April . One day in the middle of June this year , it just randomly hit me . I felt very weird like I did the day after I was high and was just thinking so hard abot life and the feeling has continued until today .. So a little over a month . Right away I felt like it was from my drug experience but it had been so long since I smoked I wasn't sure if they were connected . Idk how to explain how I feel ..: I just feel like I am always consciously aware of what I am thinking , keep checking to see if I feel normal yet .. I have gotten better where I don't question life as much and I don't just sit there and think " what is life " or " what am I" as much I have learned to push those away and tried to get some answers to settle my mind . But I still feel off . I have gotten my anxiety ( I never had anxiety before besides when in high stress moments ) mostly under control but I still feel really weird . I thought it would go away but it's been like a month now .. I'm really scared and I know it's not normal . I just want to feel like myself again .. No one has said that in acting different but I feel like I am not even acting the same . Since the first thing I did was look into this being caused by weed , I may of just freaked myself out and keep worrying about it . Idk .. I could say so much more but I'm trying to keep it short . Pretty much I just want someone to tell me that it will go away or how to fix it , ifs that's even possible . But giving up really doesn't seem like an option I have to feel better there is so much more in life to experience . I am only 20 . I just want to hear that their is recovery please tell me there is . Thank you so so much for responding
Netminder1976 Piggymj
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It sounds to me that you could have an anxiety disorder. I have bad anxiety and definitely know the feeling. Smoking weed for sone can cause them an anxiety attack. Sounds like what you are experiencing is a form of derealisation or depersononlization. They are from anxiety, look them up. Even if you don't feel anxious it can be happening. Mine came on all of a sudden too. It seems to go away when I have my anxiety under total control. The more you think about it the worse it becomes.. it's a vicious cycle.
Piggymj Netminder1976
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rafe1364 Piggymj
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Hello, I responded to the original post that Ihateweed89 and I doubt you saw it, but that doesn't matter , I'm going through the same thing and bet i know what your talking about maybe, I also would like someone to talk to.
natdavauer rafe1364
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How's it going for you and Piggymj? I'm here for the same reason as most others. Same situation. I'm only 3 days in though and it's the worst 3 days of my life. I'm hoping to hear that you're better after a couple months?? Please let me know...
bill69168 Ihateweed89
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I just signed up to this website to comment on this because it is REALLY important for people to understand that this is real. I smoked MJ heavily between ages 16 - 20. I had anxiety on and off during that time. Then I quite for 10 years and smoked again for about 6 months.
What stopped me was a hellish night similar to what you described where I had a panic attack right after taking a few hits. After that, even when sober, I would have depersonlization episodes and mild panic attacks on and off.
After researching this VERY thoroughly, I've come to the conclusion that over time a person's brain just can't take the drug anymore. Yes it relaxes your muscles, but for some people, like you and me, it causes our brains to panic. This is a good thing in my opinion because I think it means that my midn and body would prefer REAL and NATURAL ways to relax through breathing, exercise, etc. Needless to say: you're not alone, it will get better over time, and stay away from the drug if it gives you this same problem.
I should note that I am very healthy, have no diseases or history of any type of mental illness either with myself or family history. Take your life expereince and learn from it; stay away from weed. It is not the miracle drug that proponents claim it to be!
andreas_38991 Ihateweed89
Posted
I will share my story, hoping that people can be helped and change their lives .So here is my story.
So i am 25 years old, i am a nurse and i moved to the UK last year to start working as a nurse. I rarely smoked weed in my life and one day while i was in the UK i smoked some weed (SKUNK in particular). i was feeling fine after that . But after a few days , the struggle began -dizzynes, shivering, vertigo, nausea, depersonalisations, and later on anxiety attacks, elevated pulse, weakness, overthinking...
So i went to a lot of doctors and they told me i had a flu. but after 3 months i went to my neurologist and after doing a brain MRI and making sure it was nothing neurological he told me i suffered from an ACCUTE PSYCHOSOMATIC DISORDER caused by marihuana. Certain organisms react to drugs differently, and my reaction to that drug activated some genes and this happened.
So i started on antianxiety medication which didnt do much , and then on zoloft (which are anti-depressants and work for psychosomatic disorders).
The first 3-4 weeks of starting this medication i was feeling rubbish, i had nausea, weakness and so i decided to stop my job and return back home to my family.
After a couple of weeks i started feeling normal again, but not only by taking my meds
- i stopped taking alcohol
- exercised regularly (even if i felt like i couldnt, or i was weak)
-eating healthy
-drinking a lot of water-
- going out in the sun
- not staying home for a long time.
- talking with people, socialising
SO after 5 and a half months i can say that i am almost my good old self back. I am still on zoloft 50 but i will be stopping it soon. I am positive, i have found a new job which i will be starting soon, i started going to a therapist for my anxiety attacks and i will be completely well in a few days.
For all of you out there struggling with this, IT TAKES TIME, ITS NOT EASY, BUT YOU CAN DO IT, DONT GIVE UP, EVERY DAY ITS DIFFERENT, DO THINGS YOU LIKE, AND EVENTUALLY YOU WILL MAKE IT....
ilyar03542 andreas_38991
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