Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)
Posted , 268 users are following.
Hi,
In December of 2012 I made a completely moronic mistake. I smoked a lot of weed and had a panic attack. I took a few hits of a joint, was already too high without realizing it and then I got passed a vaporizer and hit that without realizing how powerful it was. I didn’t even know what a vaporizer was, it was my 3rd time smoking pot in my life and it has been haunting me to this day.
The next day when I woke up I felt what I later found out to be depersonalization/derealisation. I went on an SSRI and after 2 months of complete HELL I was able to live…decently. That being said, my anxiety was through the roof, I was having physical symptoms that I never, ever had – or even knew existed for that matter, I’ve been getting weird, annoying thoughts, halos around lights, visual distortions and a bunch of other stuff that’s been hard to deal with.
Now I’m really ambitious and despite feeling this way I just kept pushing through, I ended up moving cities, switching my life, was studying nonstop, doing music production, working, blah blah and I had a panic attack one day that seems to have relapsed me into the exact same hell that I endured when I smoked that pot.
I should also mention that I got off of my SSRI about 3-4months ago because of sexual side effects and I think that was a bad idea. I’m back on Ciprilex 10mg, in a mood and anxiety program, I’ve purchased a couple programs, im eating better (when I can actually eat), going to the gym, etc. I will do ANYTHING to get my life back. Before this I was a 3.97GPA student and I was making good money, loving life. Now I can’t go to school this September and I’m flat broke – I feel like I’m living in hell.
I knew I had GAD before this but it was always controllable. I was always told marijuana was good for anxiety and I know firsthand that for me, it’s not. I obviously triggered a latent disorder or exacerbated my pre-existing condition but I am praying that I can get it back to where it used to be (its 100x worse in every way possible) and get rid of this depersonalization in time.
Has anybody ever experienced a reaction to marijuana like this? I messed up, I know it but I’m praying I didn’t ruin my life/future. I'm not suicidal and I'm absolutely determined to get better, I will fight nonstop and do everything necessary -- but in 5 years if I'm still living like this I would honestly kill myself. I do not want to die and just the thought of that and having these thoughts in my head are killing me because I have so much good to offer the world and I love life more than anything, it's truly beautiful, I want to be me again.
Please help me. I’m desperate.
45 likes, 522 replies
harleybabe54 Ihateweed89
Posted
Ok I am new here and I have something to say about weed from hell.. How do I post ? I don't want to reply , I want to post! Help and on this subject.
maryJane84166 Ihateweed89
Posted
This same thing has happened to me, it's because it feels so good, when you're without it, you're body misses the feeling. The more you smoke weed the feeling will eventually stop happening. You just need to get used to it and learn how to handle it. Hope this helps..
jonathan1331 Ihateweed89
Posted
Yes this actually happened on my road trip to Las Vegas. I was smoking a lot of weed and ended up triggering a panic attack. And it was triggering every day after that for one whole week I went to the doctor swearing that there is something wrong with my heart. But in reality your brain is so strong that is truly all in your head don't let your head run your life you're in control don't forget that and also keep in mind marijuana has never killed a single human being in all of mankind. Also one more thing every time I would see the doctor my anxiety would just go straight down because I felt like I was in a comfortable spot being a comfortable place and know that everything's going to be okay.
jmcg2014 jonathan1331
Posted
It's not about whether it has killed anyone, noones claiming that, what it has done is exacerbate and cause serious mental health issues in some people. That's just a fact
douglas.curtis Ihateweed89
Posted
Medicinal user for 30+ years.
Contamination is what you're most likely looking at. Never heard of anything like this before. I would be very interested to know when the first documented cases of this appeared, I would then look to see what products were being suggested or had just hit the market for cannabis.
This is not going to be something caused by cannabis, most likely some people have a sensitivity to this particular contaminant. As an example, the reported cases of Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) are from exposure to cannabis with the organic molecule "Azadirachtin" on/in it. Nasty stuff.
I would strongly recommend you look for a high or moderate CBD, CLEAN, source of cannabis. Most likely it will help you out a lot better than SSRI's, it'll actually help heal the damage instead of attempting to cover/compensate.
john49855 Ihateweed89
Posted
1. Drink plenty of cranberry juice mixed with water.
2. Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, you won't want to but get it down however long it takes you.
3. Write down on paper why you want to quit smoking weed. Look at this everyday for first months withdrawal.
4. Keep as busy as you possibly can. Especially when your clucking for weed.
5. If your circle of friends are still smoking stay away for at least 2 months. Relapse is very common when all your friends smoke. Put yourself first and keep remembering why you quit. Trust me they won't care either way they may even tempt you to smoke again because they're not strong enough to quit themselves.
6. Keep reaffirming yourself that in 3 months from now you will be feeling much better, take it day by day even keep a diary of your recovery so you can refer to it if the cravings don't subside how you want them to. Trust me they will disappear completely if you stay strong.
7. If you smell it anywhere get away from it fast, especially in the first 3 months of withdrawal.
8. Talk to your friends and family they will back you if your honest. Remember it's a strong mental drug but you also become physically addicted because of the relaxation it temporarily gives you.
9. You don't need any other drugs like diazepam etc to quit weed. This is very important to remember.
10. Get back to the things that really matter to you in life. Relationships, sports, study, future goals or anything that really matters to you.
It's not easy but if I can you can. Keep things as simple as you possibly can because your brain is in recovery and will tend to over think things.
You will quit the crap that's ruining your life in the mirror to yourself at least 10 times a day. I find this keeps you determined to quit.
Do whatever it takes and remember you will make a full recovery over time some take longer than others but always remember your getting better everyday.
Good Luck your going to need it.
harleybabe54 john49855
Posted
I quit a month ago . I wrote a post what happened to me and have no clue why it was not posted! I only wrote what happened to me! I asked a moderater to explain this to me ! I read the why , none of it applied to what I wrote! People need to know concentrate can give you panic! I don't want anyone to do what I did and that is to panic and get up! Wrong move ! Blood pressure drops and blood hoes to legs ! Your body protects itself and you pass out to get blood back to heart and head ! Unfortunately my head hit cement ! People need to know this stuff. Stay seated and it will pass . Don't do what I did and end up in trauma center ! I am now recouperating from fall and testing for seizure. They want to make sure. But now I am dealing with doctors from hell .. I don't like doctors , I have white coat phobia . I smoked four hits of concentrate ! Like smoking four joints at once! Been his house bound for almost a month and can't drive until testing comes back! This is all for my peace of mind.
alexandra_jorda Ihateweed89
Posted
Your story is similar to mine. In the past I have smoked and had terrorizing experiences. Hope things are looking up
rafe1364 Ihateweed89
Posted
Hi, this same thing happened to me after lots of smoking weed and usually enjoying it over time I stopped and started seeing and feeling traumatizing thoughts that started to affect me while sober I see those same things like abstract figured with shadows and lights and other visual distortions. Overtime I felt like this ghost/ demon kept getting closer and finally the other day i made the mistake and smoked and while high I literally felt like I was being pulled away from my body and couldn't even be me anymore and this thing just took over my body, and some traumatizing stuff happened, I am going through something very similar as you are and also is looking for help.
megan89955 Ihateweed89
Posted
A similar thing has actually happened to me! I had the strongest weed I had ever had in my life... And I had a really bad experience with it. I began to see in green and yellow and everything was jumping about... It felt like I wasn't even in the real world!.. It really freaked me out and I started screaming and freaking out really bad!! I was crying and kept having anxiety atacks one after the other... I just wanted it out my system... But now whenever I just even talk about it or I am in a similar environment with the same person and they say something to me similar to how they did that day I go back to feeling the exact same as I did that day it is awful!!! And I don't know how to stop it... It's almost like I'm high but I'm not.
noah86 megan89955
Posted
Demons do use different channels to take advantage of somebodys body including drugs. i think you need to seek prayer more than anything especially because i've heard several testimonies of people feeling their spirits being pulled out of their bodies when asleep etc. With me, ive had that experience before when i was sick and i knew it was a demonic attack. i believe that even the numbness experience i have in my head due to the one time i smoked a joint was induced by some spiritual forces to try make me go insane and ruin my life. Pray and refuse the devil to have victory over your life. i've done that for the last 18 years and my life has been great inspite of this sensation but each day 'am reminded of its torment and i just wish somebody outthere can hear me out and never try to smokoe a joint in their lives. You'll be fine, pray
harleybabe54 noah86
Posted
kristers20452 Ihateweed89
Posted
Your symtoms sound like a mercury poisoning that could occur from contamined fish. I would recomend getting that checked
noah86 Ihateweed89
Posted
Hi, 'am sorry about your situation but am glad you have a fighting spirit. i too smoked once (and i mean once) some 18 years ago and had a terrible experience that almost made me quit high school. Todate, i still have a terrible numbness in my brain that causes me so much discomfort and perosnlaity shifts. Sometimes i even get suicidal but thanks be to God, i have managed to refuse this to ruin my life and have since studied though with so much effort and got married and even have kids and my own business. There is no day that i dont pray to God that this sensation would go away. i hope this encourages someone, dont give up. We all make mistakes but God can use our mistakes and do soemthing great with them...so live your life and dont give up
a39375 Ihateweed89
Posted
I felt this same exact way. I skoked weed for the first time back in my freshman year of high school and a couple days went by and after that i realized i had never really come down from it. I felt so foggy and hazy and everything seemed to be a dream. Of course, thinking about it made it only worse and worse and worse. The more you think about do, the more stronger it becomes. you have to continue to live normally, do not be scared by things such as your voice, your thoughts, that persons facial expression, why your mom didn't text you back, why people make fun of you or laughed at you, just DONT THINK ABOUT IT. I know it is eSier said than done but that is the key to beating depersonalizations. Simply continuing to go about your everyday activities and not allowing a mental illness to wipe you completely off the face of the earth. You have to fight and continue to fight. You have to stay strong no matter what and realize this is all caused. by anxiety. Maybe try eat meds for anxiety. Also, when you start thinking about don't think about it. Simply let the thoughts pass thru your head. S don't resist them. Get a job, be active, stay busy, anything to keep your mind from going into a coma of overthinking.