Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)
Posted , 268 users are following.
Hi,
In December of 2012 I made a completely moronic mistake. I smoked a lot of weed and had a panic attack. I took a few hits of a joint, was already too high without realizing it and then I got passed a vaporizer and hit that without realizing how powerful it was. I didn’t even know what a vaporizer was, it was my 3rd time smoking pot in my life and it has been haunting me to this day.
The next day when I woke up I felt what I later found out to be depersonalization/derealisation. I went on an SSRI and after 2 months of complete HELL I was able to live…decently. That being said, my anxiety was through the roof, I was having physical symptoms that I never, ever had – or even knew existed for that matter, I’ve been getting weird, annoying thoughts, halos around lights, visual distortions and a bunch of other stuff that’s been hard to deal with.
Now I’m really ambitious and despite feeling this way I just kept pushing through, I ended up moving cities, switching my life, was studying nonstop, doing music production, working, blah blah and I had a panic attack one day that seems to have relapsed me into the exact same hell that I endured when I smoked that pot.
I should also mention that I got off of my SSRI about 3-4months ago because of sexual side effects and I think that was a bad idea. I’m back on Ciprilex 10mg, in a mood and anxiety program, I’ve purchased a couple programs, im eating better (when I can actually eat), going to the gym, etc. I will do ANYTHING to get my life back. Before this I was a 3.97GPA student and I was making good money, loving life. Now I can’t go to school this September and I’m flat broke – I feel like I’m living in hell.
I knew I had GAD before this but it was always controllable. I was always told marijuana was good for anxiety and I know firsthand that for me, it’s not. I obviously triggered a latent disorder or exacerbated my pre-existing condition but I am praying that I can get it back to where it used to be (its 100x worse in every way possible) and get rid of this depersonalization in time.
Has anybody ever experienced a reaction to marijuana like this? I messed up, I know it but I’m praying I didn’t ruin my life/future. I'm not suicidal and I'm absolutely determined to get better, I will fight nonstop and do everything necessary -- but in 5 years if I'm still living like this I would honestly kill myself. I do not want to die and just the thought of that and having these thoughts in my head are killing me because I have so much good to offer the world and I love life more than anything, it's truly beautiful, I want to be me again.
Please help me. I’m desperate.
45 likes, 522 replies
mel57652 Ihateweed89
Posted
I've seen this and experienced it. It is a matter of perception I believe and you basically "took the blue pill" like in the matrix. When your perspective shifted as weed tends to catalyze reality as you know it has never been the same. These perception shifts happen for everyone that smokes unfortunately you do not seem to be embracing them. I remember times when I would fight the high instead of using it for medicinal or spiritual guidance.
Lil_tim Ihateweed89
Posted
I feel some of the same things you feel I have a lot of anxiety I smoked k2 and one of the biggest mistakes in my life also soon after I got a concussion and I don't think itso the concussion but thereshe a disorder that people Ave that makes you have flash backs of when you did a drug if the panic attack was powerful enough to be sorta traumatic it could be set off I would suggest you just stay calm and you could try things like meditate that's what I do and it helps also distract your mind it's also helps like talking to someone I hope you luck
faith76464 Ihateweed89
Posted
I actually made an account on here today in hopes that someone gets my message and hears my story so that they can get better!!
At about 14 I started smoking weed occasionally , I'm 25 now and I usually only hit a joint about once or twice a day at the max. The other day one of my "friends" gave me a pill that said THC on it , I'm not sure how much THC was in it , or if it was really even THC. I took it at about 5:00 and I didn't feel anything , until I was at the gas station with my friend 2 hours later. She went inside and ended up taking like 15 minutes. It began to kick in and kick in VERY strong. I started to panic and told her I couldn't drive. I kept feeling like I was nodding out. I was loosing touch with reality and I was almost hallucinating. My senses were all messed up , I felt like I was dying. I felt like I was loosing myself. I was scared. She drove me home and I went and laid on the bed , I couldn't watch tv , because it was scaring me , I couldn't listen to music because it was scaring me. Everything was scaring me , including my children. I was so upset and nervous and panicking. I tried to take a bath, but couldn't feel the temperature , but I was freezing cold and shaking. I began drinking water , I drank about 4 16 oz bottles within an hour. I was finally able to go to sleep , but tossed and turned and kept having nightmares. I woke up the next morning and I felt a little better , but I still felt off . I could barely drive to work , I was panicky the whole time at work , I felt like I couldn't fuction right. I was still drinking lots and lots of water , probably 2 bottles per hour , maybe more. The feeling wouldn't go away , it began getting worse and worse , my head started hurting earlier during the day and by night time it felt like my brain was going to explode , it felt like I had pressure in my brain. I kept praying and praying for guidance on what to do . I kept praying that I wanted my old self back and I didn't want to feel that way anymore. Then it occured to me , maybe I was drinking TOO much water. A thought that didn't cross my mind until I had already drank way too much water. So I started reseaching about the effects of drinking too much water and how it could kill you. This is something I've always known , but I wasn't paying attention to how much water I was drinking until it was almost too late. I began eating some crackers I called my husband and asked him if he would bring me a gatorade. He took awhile to get here , but I started drinking the gatorade, ate more crackers and took an iburpofen. I'm so happy I did. I had trouble falling asleep , but not nearly as much as I thought I would. I was sweating real bad and still a little scared. I just kept praying and ask God to watch over me and keep me safe and get me back to normal. I woke up the next day ( today) and I was able to go to work. It's a mind over matter thing , and make sure you are hydrated ( not too much) , eating right , a good balance of electrolytes and prayers. Talk openly about your experience , it really helps. I talked to my grandma , my husband and my friend. Keep yourself busy ,and don't overthink. You will get better , keep your faith , pray , and stay away from drugs. Lesson learned for me ! I hope this message is able to help others! Praying for anyone who has had negative side effects from drugs. Once you're clean and feel good , please don't ever do anything like that again !
leslye02079 Ihateweed89
Posted
I've had the exact same thing ! I took a brownie today in class in my 2nd period . When I got to my next hour my body started to have muscle spasms & my whole body was just shaking . Everything around me felt like a dream . I got to 4th period & I was gone , I felt like I was going to throw up I felt my heart beating out of my chest , I started to get this weird anxiety attack . I could like feel everything in my body , it's super hard to explain . But I was just sitting and praying because I couldn't think straight my mind was every where . I eventually ended up in the bathroom with some girl because I guess I was gonna "throw up" and I had told some of my guy friends that I ate a half brownie , and they were telling me I was gonna be gone the whole day . I go to the nurses & I'm just laying there , I heard my heart beating like I could feel it through my chest & it's still happening I keep breathing heavy out of no where then I calm down . I hope and pray this doesn't mess with my social skills , because I'm a very sociable and fun spirit . But after what happened to day ... it's always no to drugs 😂
tinogrigoriou Ihateweed89
Posted
Hey bud, just wanted to let you know that I went through the very same thing and am happy to chat about it. Of course it sucks that you also went through this but it is nice to see that I'm not the only one that has had this experience and I'm not alone. I definitely have some positive thoughts to share regarding all of this, but to be honest I have to run out the door right now. Let me know if you're still out there and in need of chatting about this and if so I'd be happy to write more knowing that it's not falling on deaf ears. Hope all's well and know you're not alone.
samhatesweednow tinogrigoriou
Posted
I need help!!! Experiencing the same damn thing and I'm scared. Everybody is just annoyed with me and they don't understand. Did it get better for you?
layla54691 Ihateweed89
Posted
jmcg2014 layla54691
Posted
Sharing personal contact information isn't allowed here
samhatesweednow layla54691
Posted
boggers samhatesweednow
Posted
I 100% relate. Feel free to message me, maybe we can get a board of our own going. I would love to have a group with people who are suffering from the same source that we are suffering from so what better than here? It's I guess a rare thing and yet so many of you on this board!! Let's get it going so we can exchange ideas and solutions toward helping each other out...
ilyar03542 boggers
Posted
Hello there,
It is nice idea. As a matter of fact I was looking for opportunity to create a website dedicated for unknown mental illnesses caused by weed. But then you know you can never be sure if it is something going on for real or is it you being you I have been in this state of dilemma since the beginning that am i making this up or nope but I have grown confidence that the situation is totally out of my hand.I have been following this forum for a long time and i would like to hear , if you don't mind, the details of what has happened to you.
harleybabe54 Ihateweed89
Posted
Don't smoke weed or eat the treats. I guess some people it has an effect like that. It takes awhile for weed to get out of your system.
nicole06792 Ihateweed89
Posted
emily9711 Ihateweed89
Posted
I've never had weed but I did suffer with bad anxiety. Have you tried natural supplements like vitamins, herbs and essential oils? I've heard that it can be VERY benifital to some people. Maybe you could research it and give that a shot.
You also said you go to the gym which is really helpful for anxiety. It's been scientifically shown that continued exercise helps. I use it as a coping mechanism and find that if I don't go my anxiety gets worse.
nikki66089 Ihateweed89
Posted
I understand exactly how you're feeling and I pray that everything gets better for you. I'm currently going through similar symptoms ever since smoking weed a week ore so before Christmas and I'm paying sooner than later I can feel normal again and feel like I used to. I still feel disconnected, have severe anxiety that wasn't present before and most recently bad thoughts, which I don't intend to act on but am having difficulty getting rid of. I hope everything has gotten better for you and that there is hope for me. I also just started grad school this month and do not want this situation to prevent me from doing well.
Iknow11 nikki66089
Posted
Stop thinking about it stop worrying about it and it will go away that us is what i did I kept my mond busy on other things and it got better slowly but surely i don't have any symptoms now
samhatesweednow nikki66089
Posted
I'm going through the exact same thing right now for the last three and a half weeks and I'm scared to death. Are you feeling better? If you are what happened? What did you do? I feel like I'm going to feel like this forever and it's making things so much worse
samhatesweednow nikki66089
Posted
I'm right there with you. There obviously has to be a link between marijuana and all of the problems we're having. Why isn't anybody in the medical world discussing these things? This is absolutely insane and it's ruining lives.
nikki66089 samhatesweednow
Posted
Yeah it was definitely not fun. I actually went to see a therapist and she talked to me and helped me feel a lot better about everything. I talked to my doctor about the extreme anxiety and she prescribed me ativan just in case I have a panic attack. I honestly haven't had one since I think it's just the fear of having one. But just knowing that the medication is there if I need it helps me feel calmer. If you can, download some meditation apps. They have helped me tremendously. Calm is one and the other is called one moment meditation. That one is only a minute long and you feel an extreme sense of calm once the minute is over. It really helps. I honestly feel a lot better. I've stopped focusing on how things feel different and just try to think positive. Things don't feel as different as before and I'm starting to feel a better sense of connection. I think it's just a matter of us getting out of our own heads. Yes it might take some time, but just refocus you energy. Whatever you like to do keep doing it. It got bad for about a week to where I wasn't eating the same and was always wanting to sleep, feeling sad, etc. I think it was just a matter of me convincing myself that things were different or felt different. But trust me you won't feel like this forever. I'm already feeling a whole lot better and I know it's only going to get better. The same will be the case for you. Sorry to write such a long story. But again just if ever you feel anxious try meditation because it really does help, exercising...I do boxing..it's great and a little trick that's been keeping me calm is chewing bottle caps of plastic water bottles lol. I think it just takes my mind off of the anxiety. But it will definitely get better. I guarantee you. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that things feel a little weird but just be accepting of it and don't think about it as much as you can. It will go away. I'm almost there. Good luck, let me know how everything goes for you
nikki66089 samhatesweednow
Posted
I agree. I've smoked marijuana of and on since 18. Not all the time but on numerous occasions atleast 20 times. This time what was different for me was the amount I smoked and how long I held it in. I was honestly trying to get higher than I typically get and it worked unfortunately. I had never been that high in my life...and I had a panic attack because of it. I think because it was such a drastic change in my reality that it was hard for me to focus back to how everything was before, which could maybe be the case for you. And then after having a panic attack there's always that fear of it coming back. That's happened to me before because I've had panic attacks twice before not marijuana related and I had a fear for a few months of it coming but it eventually went away.