Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)

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Hi,

In December of 2012 I made a completely moronic mistake. I smoked a lot of weed and had a panic attack. I took a few hits of a joint, was already too high without realizing it and then I got passed a vaporizer and hit that without realizing how powerful it was. I didn’t even know what a vaporizer was, it was my 3rd time smoking pot in my life and it has been haunting me to this day.

The next day when I woke up I felt what I later found out to be depersonalization/derealisation. I went on an SSRI and after 2 months of complete HELL I was able to live…decently. That being said, my anxiety was through the roof, I was having physical symptoms that I never, ever had – or even knew existed for that matter, I’ve been getting weird, annoying thoughts, halos around lights, visual distortions and a bunch of other stuff that’s been hard to deal with.

Now I’m really ambitious and despite feeling this way I just kept pushing through, I ended up moving cities, switching my life, was studying nonstop, doing music production, working, blah blah and I had a panic attack one day that seems to have relapsed me into the exact same hell that I endured when I smoked that pot.

I should also mention that I got off of my SSRI about 3-4months ago because of sexual side effects and I think that was a bad idea. I’m back on Ciprilex 10mg, in a mood and anxiety program, I’ve purchased a couple programs, im eating better (when I can actually eat), going to the gym, etc. I will do ANYTHING to get my life back. Before this I was a 3.97GPA student and I was making good money, loving life. Now I can’t go to school this September and I’m flat broke – I feel like I’m living in hell.

I knew I had GAD before this but it was always controllable. I was always told marijuana was good for anxiety and I know firsthand that for me, it’s not. I obviously triggered a latent disorder or exacerbated my pre-existing condition but I am praying that I can get it back to where it used to be (its 100x worse in every way possible) and get rid of this depersonalization in time.

Has anybody ever experienced a reaction to marijuana like this? I messed up, I know it but I’m praying I didn’t ruin my life/future. I'm not suicidal and I'm absolutely determined to get better, I will fight nonstop and do everything necessary -- but in 5 years if I'm still living like this I would honestly kill myself. I do not want to die and just the thought of that and having these thoughts in my head are killing me because I have so much good to offer the world and I love life more than anything, it's truly beautiful, I want to be me again.

Please help me. I’m desperate.

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  • Posted

    I can't smoke pot. It messes me up, intensifies my pain. Anyway I had some serious issues. First thing I did was had my system detoxed by going to a professional. Now keep in mind I'm 100 Irish. I got myself invited to a sweat log. Between herbs cleaning my system and the sweat log helping my skin, pours, detoxing my organs and the spiritual uplift of the whole process I came out exhausted but invigorated. The support I received was something I'll always treasure. I continue to go every time I get an invite. I've got serious medical issues on top of everything else.

    The detox of my liver (i don't drink alcohol), made the biggest change. Seen out holistic help. Your body heals itself quite well once you unclog all the crude we have in it. I'll say a prayer for you too!

  • Posted

    For anyone who has drug induced depersonalisation/derealasation it is not permanent, when you panic sufficiently you psychologically damage yourself & the damage stays until you fix it.

    It can take anywhere from 3 months to 2 years to fully recover but you will 95% of people recover within a year if you take longer its fine.

    marijuana is a psychedelic so it can really mess with your brain, but if you were not a long term user I highly doubt you fried something up there.

    Oh and lastly no you don't have schizophrenia or experiencing a form of psychosis it's all anxiety the devil.

    I made it out and so can you.

    Psychostein.

    • Posted

      unfortunatley thats a bit of a simplification.  Any issue which causes these problems cannot be said to only last a set amount of time. For some it may, for others it can be the start of lifelong issues - thats why its such a silly thing to do, and why its illegal.  People choose to take the risk, and thats fine - people can do what they like, but its a risk nonetheless and people here are evidence of why its not the best idea
  • Posted

    I understand, it happens to me alot i cried reading your post because it was so accurate
  • Posted

    Hi

    I'm really interested to know what happened to you after everything. In October 2015 I had the same reaction you had but with a Zoloft pill, the first one and only one I have ever taken. I really don't think marijuana did this to you but IT was a latent disorder, like it happened to me with the Zoloft. Like you, I feel like this changed my life forever and I haven't been able to be the same person. I was a really smart, productive person before all this and there's no trace of that right now. I hope to be in touch with you, I'm desperated.

    • Posted

      Sorry to hear about your problem but yes it was marijuana that did this to most of us that have told our story on here. Just as you have had an adverse reaction to the Zoloft so have others had a problem with most likely the THC that had passed through the blood brain barrier. It could very likely have heightened a disorder of the slightest magnitude. Say one would feel a little anxious from time to time in stressful situations or someone might over thinks things and was busted open as being chronic intrusive thoughts because of the heavy load of THC in the brain. My father has Lewy Body Dementia and there are medications such as antihistamines that he should never have because it will make his symptoms worse either for weeks or permanently. Just one dose. Well my mother gave him a cold tablet that had this chemical compound in it without her knowledge and he went downhill very fast after that one dose. Within 24 hours and he has stayed that way ever since. You need to see a neurologist or a specialist of some sort. A regular doctor is not going to be able to help. I hope you can find help. This is a terrible state to be in.

       

    • Posted

      Very Interesting. It happened to me twice, first while I was on medication(clomipramine, Respirdal and fluvoxamine) and second time on marijunana. In both cases I had a panic attack and then a total mess in my head which lasted for many months. I dont know about the first time if the medication were the cause and which of them but surely the second one was triggered by marijunana and it was much much worse and put me in a very bad condition that lasts till this very day (more than a year).I don't feel same.

      It is interesting because u have mentioned zoloft has caused it that or you suspect there is no connection between the drug and the condition and i don't think it is the case. First I am on zoloft and I am getting better by each day for months now I confess that either it is zoloft or the time pass but I start to feel the little glimpses of my formar self and the world starts to make sense again. Second objection that I have against your claim is that if it was natural or natural for some people to happen, then how come the conditin is so unkown for specialists? surely in all these years there must be a record of people with this disorder, unfortunatly the follow up after panic attack doesn't quite fit into any mental disroder.There are elements of depression,depersonalization, derealizaton and general increased anxiety but i honestly believe that there is more to know beyound the area psycology spans(mayb neurology?!).

      I have know one thing, my condition is not known and second that the panic attack and drugs are at the center of it atleast marijuna and I am 100% sure of it.

  • Posted

    Hey everyone I too have been suffering from the same exact thing! Luckily about 2 weeks ago I found a therapist and I let her know I wanted to get through this without any meds and she agreed and prescribed me an herbal probiotic called L-theanine. L-theanine has saved my life and I am able to function like nothing ever happened to me. I hope this helps everyone. Good luck!
    • Posted

      Hope stuff gets better for you, If you don't like to experience the same stay away from the drug that caused it and don't think that this is the worst, as it seems that situation can get worse with each "attack". good luck and if the herbal medication didn't help you might try a very smart and well informed psycologist and always be skeptical of any medication you are taking whether prescribed or not. 

  • Posted

    2 hours after taking the Zoloft I have a bad reaction. Suddenly I start thinking that I wanted to die, something that never cross my mind before,

    Ever. Then I start telling everyone to get away from me. (I wasnt sure if i was going to hurt myself or someone) I feel a sense of grandiosity, like everyone around were just humans, something like that, and I evil feeling Inside me. I have a struggle inside with my feelings and my thoughts. My thoughts were telling me this is temporary, this is going to pass and I was telling my dad who was present to held me with rope if it get to that. They rush me into and emergency room and then a mental hospital for a week. The diagnose me with bipolar disorder and treat me with antidepressants and antyphycotics and klonopin. The following months were follow why feelings first with antidepressant cause me to be really high all the time

    I couldn't stop cleaning and doing stuff but I couldn't go places and stay still in line I was a torture. The doctor took the antidepressants away. This was follow by months of extreme sadness, intrusive thoughts, high anxiety and extreme depression. I couldn't go to work because I work as a financial analyst and I didn't have the capacity anymore to do deep analysis or cry In from if people . Before all of this I went to work, study in colleague at the same time and workout every day. There's no trace of the person that I use to be before. I'm almost loosing my job permanently, I don't want to do anything, I feel dead inside. No motivation whatsoever. Also my personality change drastically I can't organize myself, I have no concentration, nothing matters to me anymore. I feel like I'm failing in every aspect of my life. This had been the worst year and 7 moths of my life. I'm just so desperated to get back to my old self sad

    • Posted

      The incident that I had differs from yours but it is same in essence if you ask me. For me after I smoked loads of weed I suddently felt that I am going insane and losing it, everything and I mean everything even words seem so strange and I couldnt make sense of anything.I was scared and called my friends and asked them if I become hospitialized in a mental institute for the rest of my life please kill me to not let me suffer there. The following morning I felt same insanity but the feeling of dread wasn't there it took me weeks to be able to even talk half properly again. At nights I used to count numbers and I couldnt pronounce many letters it seemed to be so hard for me to do so. I relate to you, I too lost my hopes of becoming my former self again, but times change. At this moment I feel like some of my problems have gone away and I get the taste of my former self now and then. Every healing that happened to me was gradual or maybe I am just getting used to who I am regardless life is much more bearable now.

      In case just stay away from anything that makes you psychotic or can cause panic attacks and also try to think too less of what you are going through(less analysis..).

      I am sure you will feel better but it is only matter of time. Apart from the medication I found fixed sleeping pattern(generally sleeping much) and doing hobbies that I used to enjoy to be helpful even if those seemed not to be so interesting!

      Good luck!

  • Posted

    Hello,

    Just wondering if you had an update for us? I'm suffering from the same thing ....

    • Posted

      Hi I have been suffering with the same thing also for the last month. I was quite a heavy weed smoker and around 3 days after I quit I had the most horrendous panic attack that lead to anxiety depersonalization and then after that manic thoughts and now to top it off I'm now feeling depressed. I have to say i do seem to be getting better as the days go on . I find excersizing really helps. What symptoms are you having? I'm finding it hard to find someone who ununderstands what im going through think my friends think in being dramatic but it literally is hell

    • Posted

      rebbecca i know what your going through but mines is more worst you dont understand i smoked 5 months ago had a massive panic attack and i never smoked again and i dont know why im still feeling this way all types of sypthoms physically my heart aswell goes fast for anything and then sometimes just really slow i dont get whats wrong with me i never experinced nothing like this its like im

      nervous of anything now and get shortness of breath and body aches i seen alot of docters they say everythinng is normal plus blood work also come ott normal i seen a cardiologist aswell eveeything normal but i dont get so why im

      getting all of this if everything is normal i feel like something is wrong and they just wont find out exactly its just wierd im getting so much sympthoms that i never experinced the day of my life also im only 20 years old male

      .

    • Posted

      It's sounds like you have anxiety from the weed I know it sounds mad but it's just your mind. I rang an ambulance on myself twice a few weeks ago as i thought I was having a heart attack. The weed has messed with our heads. The more you think and worry about your symptoms the worse they become because your feeding It. what exact symptoms are you having? I'm am only 26 myself smoked weed for around 10 years and never had anything like this before

    • Posted

      Have the doctors given you anything for anxiety I know it's hard to believe at first but you have to realise that this is anxiety it is completly in your mind. The more you worry and Google symptoms the worse it will get. Weed messes with your head and after having a major panick attack this can lead to anxiety . Then basically when you anxious your brain will attract all sorts of crazy thoughts anD symptoms . I thought my heart was racin and I was having a heart attack but I was not my heart was beating completly normal . I have depersonalization atm. At its worse I didn't feel real and was scared of people's faces could barely leave the house . This is all in our minds and it's a side effect of anxiety you need to try calm down maybe get some Meds of the doctor . Excersizing is a must . Eat healthy. Take vitamins lots of water. Stop googling symptoms and try get on with life. I promise you now it is all in your head and the longer you go on like this the worse it will get.

    • Posted

      Yeah before this happen i was smoking weed for two or three years sometimes when i use to smoke i could feel my heart racing but it would go away but this time i couldnt control felt like i was going to have a heart attack my heart was racing so fast i could control my body i kept walking around and trying to breath only way i calm

      down when i threw up and was shaking afterthen after that day i would wake up constantly wake up with my heart besting hard or fast or out of control i was going to the ER mostly everyday to find out what was wrong with me and also me and my friend smoked from the same blunt i dont know how it didnt hit him that way but i was the only one bugging out he was saying if it was laced or anything we both would of been the same way but he was calm i was going crazy my heart didnt want to calm down at all ever sense that one day i been stuck this way for 5 months already

    • Posted

      Yeah i have anxiety pills called paxil but i never took them because im a little nervous about those type of pills plus those dont work right away they work 3 to 4 weeks into it really gets in the system and the sypthoms im getting is wierd besting hard sometimes it goes really fast sometimes it goes really slow that i can barely feel it while im at rest , twiching head and muscle back contraction like i cant realx my body this make me think im going to get a seizure even doe i got a mri done of my brain two or three months ago but still i keep twiching i cant relax my head or neck always in pain , body spasms like every where in my body it moves different places , also vision like unreal

      dream like feeling and body pains all this i never felt this before ever a day of my life and also wierd feeling in my head .

    • Posted

      Nervous about medication that's had millions spent on research, but not about weed sourced from who knows where? Hmmm........

    • Posted

      It honestly is all anxitey. The last weed I smoked gave me a major panick attack that's why I quit. My friend also smoked that and she's fine. I think different stuff effects different people in different ways. You really should try and take the medications I've tried a few of my doctors and stopped because I was paranoid it was making me worse but I'm now trying again. You can't live being anxious and that's what is wrong with you. You have anxitety you u have nothing to loose by taking the Meds your obviously not enjoying your life atm so it's worth ago. Also I don't know what country you live in but maybe propananol might help you? I take it when my heart was racing and it works pretty much straight away. This morning I woke up and my was pounding so I took one and was ok around 20mins later

    • Posted

      yeah your right i just be hearing some people die from medication thats always in my head like how about if they say or he died in his sleep from a anxiety pill or something
    • Posted

      Im from New york and i have metaprolol i took those only sometimes when my hesrt was racing but i a barely take it anymore because my blood pressure would be low and my heart was just be racing so me taking it would calm down my heart but my blood pressure would go

      even lower so it would make really dizzy plus my hesrt now goes sllow usally it has been going slow but sometimes i get those just by running down the stairs or walking fast my heart starts bestting to fast then feels like it

      pause then continues really wierd the cardiologist did a stress test for me three months ago running on a trim mill and 7 day heart monitor and echo also a sonagram like to see my heart througha computer to see how is beating a day before i

      was soppost to take the monitor back i was in a friend car and out of no my head felt so wierd like tingling feeling and my heart just went super fast it didnt want to calm

      down i even almost jumped out the car my friend was driving i

      told him pull over my heart and i got out the car my heart didnt relax he call the abulance they came then it started to

      go down and i started to relax they told me i probably suffer from

      anxiety and panic attacks that day the cardiologist called me and told me he saw was was going on it was going super fast ask me what was i doing that its going that fast i told what happen and he told me to drink a metaprolol and try to relax i did after that i saw him the next day and told me i have a little bit arryhtmia but not a dangerous one that im fine everything looks fine he didnt give me no medication or anything he just told me to see him in three months after that i see him again on the 24th but i dont get this after i smoked that one day it messed me up i csnt enjoy life anymore go out with friends have a drink no becaus ei have sypthoms daily and this really effected me i barely have friends anymore after they found that happen to me they barely want to be around me i was like a popular kid everyone wanted to hang out with me

      smoke go out but sense this happen and i cant no one really wants to be around me i guess but its cool its life.

    • Posted

      Things like that, if they are true - which is pretty unlikely, would probably be allergic reactions, much higher chance of being allergic to something unregulated like weed, which has no consistent make up or control
    • Posted

      I have been talking here and there to help people recognize the condition.I  had a very bad panic attack previous year and up until now I am struggling with the aftermath, thanks for the advice about sports, I aslo found antidepressant and sedatives to be beneficial but it is also hard to tell whether there was a casual relationship since the time takes for the medication to kick in is too long. I believe the major symtom that is left is ridiculous weakness in my short-term memory also I still find problems with my visiual processing(for the lack of better words!).Even if everything that I am experiencing is psycological, it is not under my control. Please do update with anything that helped you, I have been an active update or commentator of this forum since  a year ago.
    • Posted

      There are two major variation in reaction to the panic attack after the weed.I do like to distinguish between this sort of panic attack with any other as far as i am concerend it seems not all the panic attacks fits into  same category.

      Anyway yours is about conerns about dying mine was concern about going nuts, so proportionally I feel conditions such as losing the capacity to understand new material, talk properly or read properly. I do think most people even specialists are undermining both cases. And also you are a hundred percentage right to not trust the prescribed  medications. The psycological science lacks a proper model and have next to zero clue of the mechanism of action for these medicaitons. In case the mediactions damages you they won't usually confess  and rather blame it on yourself and since there is no rigorous approach to prove them wrong or right you will end up with what you get. I also have been through that phase as well.

      You should see a smart, compassionate psycologist to help you through this in case you want to use medication.

    • Posted

      i seen one they gave me medication called paxil but whats going on with me i feel it physically after that day i been experincing things i never felt before its like im going nuts im tierd of feeling this could barely do anything been stuck this way for 5 months not knowing what really going with docters just saying its anxiety the weed my triggered my nervous system and probably my brain im just stuck dont know what else to do if the docters say im fine i just dont want nothing bad to happen to me
    • Posted

      Well for starters there are stuff that you can do that would objectively make you feel better, namely exercise, doing the stuff you used to enjoy and eat and sleep plenty in general! Do not smoke weed or regular cigarettes since the later drains a lot of energy making it harder for you to go through this. Alcohol can also make you worse. You menioned pain or weird senstations, ever since I quite my former medicaiton i felt  strange senstaion which at best I can explain is the combintaion of fatigue and extreme sense of irritation all over my body when I wake up(as if I need someone's help to make me stand up). It basically makes sleeping a terrible experience. I also used to see irratitng nightmares each night in the after withdrawl from  "legal medicaitons" that my previous doctor prescribed me. Till this day(three years) I wasn't able to sleep like the way I used to dosad .To not to make you confused the sleeping disorder that I have is not because of panic attack as it happened before it, it is because of withdrawl from the medicaiton also I had to quite the previous medicaiton cause it made me felt so bad as if my brain is about to stop,I really hoped to die back then instead of going through that agonizing pain. I changed the psycologist that I used to se and feel a bit better, So be careful of any medicaiton you are taking and who you are seeing, ask for help from close family members(adults with brain!)

    • Posted

      yeah my parents dont want me to take those medications but i dont know what should i do even doe i realky have these sympthons bad and my body is getting tierd

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