Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)
Posted , 268 users are following.
Hi,
In December of 2012 I made a completely moronic mistake. I smoked a lot of weed and had a panic attack. I took a few hits of a joint, was already too high without realizing it and then I got passed a vaporizer and hit that without realizing how powerful it was. I didn’t even know what a vaporizer was, it was my 3rd time smoking pot in my life and it has been haunting me to this day.
The next day when I woke up I felt what I later found out to be depersonalization/derealisation. I went on an SSRI and after 2 months of complete HELL I was able to live…decently. That being said, my anxiety was through the roof, I was having physical symptoms that I never, ever had – or even knew existed for that matter, I’ve been getting weird, annoying thoughts, halos around lights, visual distortions and a bunch of other stuff that’s been hard to deal with.
Now I’m really ambitious and despite feeling this way I just kept pushing through, I ended up moving cities, switching my life, was studying nonstop, doing music production, working, blah blah and I had a panic attack one day that seems to have relapsed me into the exact same hell that I endured when I smoked that pot.
I should also mention that I got off of my SSRI about 3-4months ago because of sexual side effects and I think that was a bad idea. I’m back on Ciprilex 10mg, in a mood and anxiety program, I’ve purchased a couple programs, im eating better (when I can actually eat), going to the gym, etc. I will do ANYTHING to get my life back. Before this I was a 3.97GPA student and I was making good money, loving life. Now I can’t go to school this September and I’m flat broke – I feel like I’m living in hell.
I knew I had GAD before this but it was always controllable. I was always told marijuana was good for anxiety and I know firsthand that for me, it’s not. I obviously triggered a latent disorder or exacerbated my pre-existing condition but I am praying that I can get it back to where it used to be (its 100x worse in every way possible) and get rid of this depersonalization in time.
Has anybody ever experienced a reaction to marijuana like this? I messed up, I know it but I’m praying I didn’t ruin my life/future. I'm not suicidal and I'm absolutely determined to get better, I will fight nonstop and do everything necessary -- but in 5 years if I'm still living like this I would honestly kill myself. I do not want to die and just the thought of that and having these thoughts in my head are killing me because I have so much good to offer the world and I love life more than anything, it's truly beautiful, I want to be me again.
Please help me. I’m desperate.
45 likes, 522 replies
WilfredWilfy Ihateweed89
Posted
I have been so worried about this for ages and it has been slowly ruining my life but this might just give me the hope I need to carry on.
Smoking weed was possibly the worst decision of my life as I've been dragged through a living nightmare of disassociation, panic attacks and anxiety beyond any bearability.
I never been tested for anxiety however I have been affected by it alongside periods of depression throughout my life.
Mr.Oneceler WilfredWilfy
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Mr.Oneceler Ihateweed89
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Just a short breakdown to my weed past. As a young lad from the age of roughly 12 to 17/18 i smoked solids, sputnik, squidgy black etc. I never had any problems. We all smoked it an it was fun. I popped a whitey once from smoking too much but that just happens. Anyway, when i was about 19 in the late 90's skunk starting becoming really popular. I started to but that cos i liked the taste of it and got the giggles. I smoked this for a while then got into clubbing and taking other drugs, e's, GHB, ketamine. I smoked weed after taking ket once and it was just hell. I remember having a bag of skunk and being sat in my room on the internet. I got really paranoid all of a sudden and kept thinking my hair was falling out, it was sooo real though i was really paranoid. I put the spliff out and said 'wow, am not touchin that again'. 10 minutes later i lit it again like an idiot and went really paranoid again. I packed it in after that and just stuck to class A's haha.
Anyway, i have never directly had a psychotic episode triggered by weed but knowing my brain, i know for a fact if i did push my luck with the smelly skunk it would send me psychotic without a doubt. I always just thought weed was weed though but after scientific research it appears that only high strength skunk causes the problems. Can anyone tell me if they have another side to this story and have had a bad mental issue from using solid weed? I'm keen to know.
Thanks
mattoidicus Mr.Oneceler
Posted
Had the most powerful frightening experience on solid. Known as double zero. Had a wee peice stuck on a badge needle, lit it, blew it out n stuck a pint glass over it. Sucked it out through the edge then did it again. Unbelievable rush. Thought my heart would burst, literally racing like a machine gun, keeled over on the floor, saw galaxies, Salvador dali like visions, heard music, totally huge huge 3 hour trip.
Had good on skunk, good on solid, bad on skunk bad on solid. Smoke less. Lesson - don't drink the whole bottle of whisky. Have a few shots, enjoy. You get me. BTW I don't smoke anymore. Why? was in the weirdest detached state after a year of smoking about a year ago but everything I was thinking and doing was completely normal. No psychosis as such - just removed from myself, like looking and talking through a window like I wasn't actually in the room! Even when not stoned. Had it several times over the years, got over it. I smoked for several reasons. 1. It's been pleasurable, 2.social. 3. I have a chronic pain condition and it really really helped that. Some people never have the detached experience, anxiety, etc. Others do. Just the way it is. You can get over any bad experience, but it can take as much as a few years for your brain to recover. That's the honest answer.
bangbangmaxwell Ihateweed89
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bonnie21356 Ihateweed89
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jmcg2014 bonnie21356
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bonnie21356 jmcg2014
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Mr.Oneceler bonnie21356
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bonnie21356 Mr.Oneceler
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Mr.Oneceler bonnie21356
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There's another chemical called CBN. I think this is present in oils more and is meant to give you a confusing high.
Bud is what comes off the plant direct, it's plant matter and it's very high in THC but sometimes very low in CBD so this makes some people more high than chilled and have spiralling thoughts. Hash is more matured and contains a higher ratio of CBD but also high levels of THC. Because there's a balance it supposedly levels itself out making it easier to function normally, have control over your thoughts an feel nice and mellowed. It comes in hard solid block forms which are usually brown or black and you hold a lighter to to block, it then becomes soft and crumbly so you pull it off the block and put it into a spliff of whatever.
Don't quote me on any of this though. I have'nt smoked weed for some time. I'm just saying what i've reseached persoanlly. I can say from personal experience that skunk (bud) used to make me giggly and have a laugh, the longer i smoked it the more i became paranoid and didn't enjoy the high very much so i stopped smoking it. That being said, i thought all weed was the same so i cut out hash as well. Now after reading up though i think it's much safer for certain individuals. I smoked a lot of hash as a young lad and never recall having many problems. I did go i'll and messed up once, but that was due to smoking large amounts. Being older now i think i'd be more respectful of the plant.
bonnie21356 Mr.Oneceler
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bluevelvet1234 bonnie21356
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As for your earlier concerns in this thread, I would advise personally that Weed is a drug whether it is legal or not and has side effects... most of those the user hopes is positive such as pain relief and anti-nauseant effects; however, weed can have negative side effects like any other drug, your concern is the paranoia it seems. I think also, many drugs have the ability to signal dormant genes that may be triggered and then expressed after drug use. For example, person X has a dormant gene for an anxiety disorder, person X smokes weed and the gene is triggered. Person X then exhibits symptoms of an anxiety disorder. Person Y may have the same dormant gene, may smoke weed and may not trigger the dormant gene. It's a bit of a gamble, especially if you personally already suffer from anxiety. There are other treatments for anxiety that do not include drugs that can be beneficial long such as meditation, exercise and therapy.
erkel Ihateweed89
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Talk to your doctor. Klonopin is excellent for short-longterm use. 1-3mg per day usually max. Never drink alcohol, (caffenine, vitamin & food 2hours after taking). Take on empty stomach. But you must be disciplined to use this powerful benzo correctly. It can help get your life back but can also ruin if not used properly. God speed!
harleybabe54 erkel
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