mirtazapine nightmare..so fed up and no idea what to do

Haha nope.

Hey Karl, I hope you manage to figure things out. I'm in a right pickle along with craig. Just feel I'm worse off on the things. I'm not sure if it's my anxity getting worse or something or the tabelts not working.

Since going back up to 15 nearly three weeks ago I can't sleep now. My head is in over drive 24-7. I can't even nap as i have very weird dreams and most random thoughts. I do feel the butterflies in the mornings have eased and no crazy adrenaline rushes. But this onky started on these Dam things. I feel they have messed my body uP and that I'm stuck on them as i can't handle the wd. Never experienced anything like it. I am an anxious wreck on reduction. Can't be left alone as i trip out and think am dying 24-7. The adrenaline is through the roof. I'm at 15 now getting steady and some stength back and I might try ween even 1mg every month. I've read u can go as slow as u need lower the better. So I'm hoping I can get off these thjngs as I'm pretty confident it's these messing me up. I cry all the time just over the thought of knowing I can't get off them, its really upsetting and I don't know what else to do. I thought about trying to take another to try remplace the wd of these but I'm terrified now. I feel no one listens or understands how bad thjngs are apart from craig on tbis group. Honestly feel my life is over at 32. I have zero fight or motivation anynore. Completely different person and everyone noticed how differnt I am since I've been on these things. I wanted to try not take one for the day like craig but I mentally and physically can't handle it incase it sets things off for me while I'm trying to find some strength. anyway I hope u find the answers and defo agree with exercise, good eating and also positive reading and just keeping busy. My mind wonders non stop so I try to catch it then change my thought to a nice one. it's hard but over time u csn change your thinking habits. Let us know how u get on. Take it easy and stay strong

hey Shez, well what a weird day, i ended up taking 15mg last night as i didnt feel positive enough to take nothing, i didnt sleep as well as i normally do, when i got up i felt a bit weird, different, but as i got moving i have to say my day has been better than any in the last 3 weeks, didnt have any anxiety waves and felt pretty good, got to 5pm and just starting to feel a bit crap, convinced its my body now craving the drug. Im not really sure what i have achieved but pretty sure ive proved that if i can feel so different for just a single dose drop on a tablet ive been taking for years clearly shows something aint right. Going doctors next week and tell em that i believe this drug is no longer working and what i am experiencing is side effects when i increase and withdrawal when i decrease, which tells me they arent working on what they should be

Thanks shez32 ...once again most of what you report I can relate too (although we both know everyones fight is a personal and unique one).

Q. Do you find that alot of your hard to come by energy is often spent  dealing with the frustration and effort that comes from TRYING to get people (even family) to understand what depression/anxiety is, and how you are feeling ..and how challenging life is, and how even the simple things (such as being happy, confident, optimistic etc etc) are so hard to come by?

Sorry for such a long winded Q ..but its an important question for me as I have so little energy and optimism (its a precious and rare comodity for me as I normally feel like you that my life is over at 50yrs) ...It is so hard having to explain to people who say they care or should care what lifes like for me. Of course its a small breath of fresh air when I hear of someone else (online) who reports some similar experiences, worriers to my my own. Then I don't feel so very alone and isolated ..and this provides some comfort.

Hope I've made sense...

Wishing you peace and a settled mind and a measure of everlasting optimism!

Oh I feel that if we produce 70-100k thoughts a day then 90per of mine is wasted on negative thinking over my health etc.. My thoughts are so Stuoid and annoying. I fight it everyday. I'm usually a bubbly happy cheerful chatter box with loads of strength and so much motivation. I feel I don't even know my self anynore. Forgot what ot feels like feel my self and I miss being happy. I feel my heads always filled with worry and what if. I drain my self out more ha. I try very hard to keep my mind busy. I feel I bore people talking about my anxity issues etc

Cbt is good so once I start thst I'm hoping to learn new ways of dealing with things.

My last tutor told me over and over treat each thought equally as thoughts can cause us no harm

I try apply this but when your stuck in a habit over time it's hard to change but I do try. Positive reading helps to lift Me too. I Miss working out so much and I hsve so much energy trapped in side it needs out in a positive way. I've learnt from the group thst I am not the only one suffering and that it's nornal and apart of life these days so I feel better talking about anxity issues. Dont dwell on things lad in time we will get stronger. Keep pushing and remember the thoughts cant hurt us just we end up feeling uneasy with them.so we can control our reaction to them over time. The book I read said carry on as normal as possible and face your fears then things get easier in time. Just take small steps for now until u feel like you can fight on. Stay strong for now :-)

Hey Craig yes I was wondering how you would go

Waa thinkkng the long life on them is meant to be so many hours I think like it varies on each person sure it's 2-4 days or something. I feel ok on reducing for 3-4 days then boom haha. I agree with u 1100per as i feel the effects of reduction Just 2mg after only a year on theM.I'm.adiment mine are making me worse too but am holding out an hour week or so just to make sure. I've had an average day too still feel blibs of it coming and going. Went out and ended up anxity anxous and came back felt my heart was racing and it freaked me out .never used to be like this I feel weak and frustrated. I feel so sensitive to like shocks and noises etc and feel my emotions are all over still get adrenaline zaps and muscle twiches. My head thinks I hsve allsorts wrong but apart thinks its this stupid tabelt. I feel so unfit I'm scared to exercise and everything

I fear everything for some reason. I am tempted to just cut to half and try stop again after a another week or so. I've lost who I am and I know it's these tabelts but no one listens

We both clearly ain't getting better sp why should we mess our self's up more with drugs that make our battle worse not better.

I hope the docs listen to u haha I just get told to calm down and up me tablet haha one doc did agree that I shouldn't take them anymore mind and he knows the normal shez. Maybe I need to just be stronger and fight the wd on reducition. Or reduce 1mg every month to try keep things calmer this time

I'm fine going 15-13-11-9 then.boom 7.5 blows me face off haha I'm scared to make any more adjustments while I'm trying to be strong. Gosh what a situation we have. That's me u and Karl funding things funky with these tablets. We should write a book ha

I hear you (thanks)

I have a question though re. part about: ..."Dont dwell on things lad in time we will get stronger. Keep pushing and remember the thoughts cant hurt us just we end up feeling uneasy with them"...

What if the thoughts are to do with 'real' legitimate stressful things?

For example in my case I constantly worry about my lower back condition which causes debilitating pain that I require morphine for, and the forced sale of my house which is the result of being taken to court by my ex partner, and X and Y etc). True maybe X and/or Y may not hurt me ..may not even happen but what about the 'real' stressful situations that will impact on me.

Everyone situation is different I guess. My cbt tutor told me each thought carries equal weight. Each thought is equal I guess as it is just called a "thought "

It's our reactions to our thoughts that causes the response. Flight or fight. I believe we are some what in control of our thoughts. Obv for you, you suffer physical pain so your thoughts of feeling pain are real, I'm guessing you try control it by medication etc no idea, but for me i suffer anxity ocd and negative thoughts. I am trying to fix my problem, but it's proving difficult hence why I'm banging on, on here. haha

Maybe speak to your gp and look into cbt. Hope you get sorted tho. Stay strong

Hey shez, I went to cbt a few years ago and I found it helpful, but I have a loving family who understand to a degree so that helps as well, I'm chilled this evening and really trying hard to work out what my next step is, I'm tempted to just take 15 again tonight but obviously worry about how I will feel tomorrow, worse case if withdrawal hits I can take a bit extra tomorrow, or the other part of me says take my normal dose until I see the doc next week and then make a decision, gees talk about not knowing what to do for the best. Thing I hate is take a pain killer for a headache and it goes away, take tablets for this and it just won't seem to go, will write tomorrow with how I feel, in the meantime enjoy your evening as they always seem to be the best times

I hear you ..many thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Have decided to stop taking the Mirtazapine in favour of Holosync Meditation, Simple reason being, (for me) unless Mirtazapine (or any other AD for that matter) is making a clear and noiceable positive differrence to my mood/anxiety/thoughts etc (which they don't seem to be), and if I having even the slightest doubt about popping them into my mouth (which I do) ..then its a BIG NO NO for me!!!

Having listened to what you and others on here have had to say, together with reading and research I've done ...I am now convinced the key for me is not more 'suck n see' (try and hope) drugs, but rather something along the lines of the following formula:

MAKING APPROPRIATE LIFE CHANGES

+

HEALTHIER DIET + WEEKLY EXERCISE

+

SATISFYING DAILY JOB/TASKS

+

SOCIAL LIFE

+

PAIN RELIEF

+

MEDITATION (OR CBT)

[some things easier to achiev than others I know ..but its worth a crack]

Anyway, hope you and others find the key or formula that works for them/you.

Thanks for support and wise thoughts shez...

Much peace at Easter!

Hey Craig, have a think what u thinks best it's such a tricky situation for us ha.I've had an anxious evening for some reason. I think the fact am missing out on partying when all My mates are out enjoying life. Gets to you a bit stuck between ya heed and four walls. In convinced tonight I have something wrong the thoughts just won't ease up. Tablet clearing ain't doing much hA. YeaH your right it's like "take a pain killer and it makes ya get a migraine" in our stupid tabelt comparison. I hope u decide what to do and have a good evening :-)

Great idea Karl. Either way improving lifestyle will benefit you in the long way.

I read a moto that said, keep the body active and the mind at rest haha I wish I could apply it :-)

Your totally right about the medication situation I think I'm going to give up on things soon as either try something else or change my lifestyle even more.

I hope u get sorted lad and take care

Thankyou once again for the wise words and support!

Take care Shez

 

Hey Shez, I woke up this morning after tking 15 and have had another resonably good day, so less seems better at the moment. I cant believe i had 3 weeks of lousy days and with a reduced dose had 2 better days, sure the tablets are doing me more harm than good so just gonna carry on for a bit and see what happens, hope youve had a good day and seen some of the sunshine

Hi Craig (Shez too if reading this) ...

Yes having read your comments, I can relate to your experiences ... I was on 15mg of Mirtazapine and had this nagging and growing feeling  or rather suspicion that there were more 'negatives' than 'positives' taking the drug (atleast at the higher doses).

So I began a 'weening' off come slow reduction process lastnight. And like you I have had a noticeably better day. Nothing to shout from the rooftops but yes, a slight noticeable benefit dropping to 7.5mg.

[Where 0 = Absolute worse a human can feel and 10 = Absolute best a human can feel] - I guess for those of us that struggle with depression/anxiety going from feeling 1 out of 10 to even a 2, 3 or 4 out of 10 now and again is to be considered a blessing and achievement. However, to those that dont suffer, anything under 5 for example is to be considered a seriously lousy day as they are used to be operating maybe at a 7+ out of 10 most days. How I wish I was so fortunate

Anyway, for me my plan was not purely to drop to a lower amount but rather over say a week to come off the drug totally.

So what about the anxiety (and depression) I struggle with? (GP refers to it as 'Agitated' but I refer to as 'Reactive') ...I am aiming to try and cope without ADs of anykind but use Propananol on a 'as and when needed' basis). That way I wont be left thinking "are these Mirtazapines/ADs making me worse?????" but instead have the Propananol's 'anxiety stopping' benefits (inc. its placebo effect) only when I feel I need to pop a pill. Hope I haven't confused.

Best wishes and much peace at Easter!

[p.s. As a new comer here, found all your and shez's comments comforting - many thanks]

Just incase you wanted or needed to know more about Propananol. Here's something I found enlightening and encouraging:

https://patient.info/forums/discuss/propranolol-from-devestating-anxiety-to-calm-in-1-day-40199

May you have a peaceful nights sleep and awake refreshed and feeling settled and optimistic!!!

Karl

Hey Craig thats good to hear. It's strange too haha. Not sure what to make of things. I got up yesterday full of energy and was non stop my total normal self and done lots of exercise. Felt great. I felt mentally stronger like I neeed to push my self. Today I feel bbrigther but I did wake up groggy again trying to plough through but feeling tired and hung over feeling but plodding on with it. I'm giving it another week or so on my 15 to see how i go. Hope the 15 keeps u steady too. Keep going haha :-)

Thsts great Karl. Keep it up. Everything u say relates to me and craig. We are both trying to work things out regarding this strange tablet ha. Hope to give it a little longer than look at reducing. I've heard lots about propanol I'm sure sure takes this too.

Sounds safer then these things.

I hope ur wd goes ok and keep strong and do what u thinks best

Hey shez, I hope you are still doing well, I am into my third day on 15 and I do feel better, my head isn't so heavy in the morning, less anxiety, just taking it slow as don't want withdrawal to hit me hard wishing you well

Thats great keep it up. I've been going ok got a couple of days trying to just get up and keep busy haha but I do still have to fight the morning groggyness. Not pushing my self too much just plodding on as feel we have no option

These just seem to numb us i think as i struggle with all emotions like my body dont know how to adapt to any emotions. Sucks but I'm out of ideas. Al just give it a week or so at 15. Just trying to get steady on things and more control. I hope you keep going well and can suss thjngs out. Keep strong lad your doing good

Hi Shez, I hope you are still doing well. I have made it through day 3 on 15mg and although i have not felt great my anxiety seems to have been better. I am nervous that withdrawal is waiting around the corner for me but i suppose i'll just have to wait and see, god what a life lol. My diary i have kept shows that everytime i was on 30 my anxiety was higher so i know the way to go must be down. Weather has been nice hear so that helps a bit. Talking with others on here and can't believe there are so many people in the same boat. Saddest thing is we only talk about it when we are poorly and when we become well we dissapear and get on with life. Take care

Hey Craig just seen this. I hope your doing well. Im 50-50 haha had a great week but Been up and down as i came down with cold bug and it floored me so I had to rest up and this led to over thinking haha. My head just never stops qnd if I'm poorly it seems to race more. Anyway while resting up I was reading up on cbt and negative thoughts and thinkkng intrusive thoughts. Tbis was were my anxity came from originally qnd why I was giving the mirt. It does not seem to do anything for them at all. But since my research it is 1100per my thoughts that are causing the constant anxitey. I have learnt all about it and have a better understanding. I also need to belive deep down am ok as past few months I jusr keep thinking I have so much wrong from these phy qnd mental symptoms from the anxity. My head over thinks from the way I'm feeling, but am feeling like this from my thought. So I feel I've found the root qnd I hope with actual cbt that I learn even more and slowly with time I can change my thoughts to more optimistic lkke I used to be qnd also learn to accept each thought as neutral and not react to it.

As for my mirt it still just calms me a little on a evening and I get adrenaline rushes still most nights, zero motivation, horrible head aches light headedness often, heart palps qnd just feel fatigue all the time qnd shakes often. It still makes me very hungry after I've ate but it seems when I eat after I've taking it I'm wide awake,so I have to try to have water qnd not give in to eating food. The morning groggyness is insane it takes a couple of hours to even wake my mind up haha. I get over wwhelmed with emotion most days too I really really want to be off this stuff as it's clearly not doing much for me but I still need to build the stength to reduce as I'm really scared as i can't handle the wd. I want to exercise but I get so worked up before hand it sends me too up a height at the moment. So am trying to focus on just getting through a normal day. I think once we are off these things we both might be able to function that little better as the groggyness won't be slowly us down haha. I hope that your still going well and keep pushing and remember it's just anxity it's not going to hurt us. Keep doing some Positive reading too as it seems to help alot. Chow for now lad

This seems the appropriate forum to report that I've been temporarily defeated by the mirtazapine withdrawal symptoms. I could just about cope with the brain zaps and the churning tummy, and I was feeling surprisingly cheerful, but the muscle spasms have exhausted my arms, legs and back so I'm having problems walking. My chronic fatigue syndrome mean that my muscles get weak when they are tired. So I've not declared surrender,just a strategic retreat. I'm taking the 30mg until I get back to normal, which is taking some time, and then I'll try again, even slower than before.

Hey guys, I am on day 10 of my reduced dose of mirt (15), I seem to be getting through it day by day. The doctor has told me that as I've all but done 2 weeks on 15, it's such a low dose I can just stop. The main problems I am having are anxiety, my throat seems to feel tight and uncomfortable, and I get waves of small panic. Having said this I feel better on the 15 than I did on the 30. I am taking propranolol a couple times a day to ease off the anxiety and they certainly have helped. The doctor only prescribed 30mg a day and sure I could do with it a bit higher, but trying to get off a drug puts me off taking something else. I have using the fact I can take a 30 at anytime as a shield to push me forward. I am very conscious of a crash from withdrawal but am taking it as slow as I can. Really gutted for you pixie as I have been there so many times with withdrawal, only downside is in the past when I have gone back up the nightmare starts all over again, wishing you both well

Hey guys hope u are both ok.

Pixie I know how it feels I got through three months of up and down Tring to get off due to me feeling thry ain't doing much for me and the groggyness is hard to cope with. My biggest regret is ever tying these thjngs as i feel stuck on them. the wd floored me and I'm back to my full 15 until I have the strength to get off this year. Having an awful time at the moment I had cold and it kkockrd off my ear issue as I suffer vertigo. So being stuck in bed dizzy ovrr thinkng feds all sorts of anxity. I'm a anxious wreck this week. I know half the problem is my anxity and anxuius thoughts. But these tablets don't seem to do anything for it. I feel it's about my trying to change. Wish I could fix us all and get us off theee stupid things. I'm not sure if thry are making me dizzy or if it's my vertigo as it's flared up like crazy since I've been on these and the hesd aches are constant everyday like my heads pulsation. Never used to have this. No doubt it's all anxity haha the usual. Every symptom I get now I just label anxity or Mr A ha. Trying to soften the effect somehow. I'm taking omega 369 and vit b to try perk me up. My pmt is insane every month now with the increased anxity and lack of exercise. I generally belive I'm fdone for me and will never be ok. Just feel stuck in one big rutt keeping adding fuel to the fire.. It's frustrating. I can't even remember the old happy care free me anymore. My head is tired from the whole thjng and negative thoughts actually are draining. I was hoping summer would cheer me up but it's annoying because I don't even want to go out and enjoy it as it's a constant battle with my stupid heed. Hsd awful anxity attack last night worst one in a while. So I guess this is clearly showing that these thjngs are not working. I have constant fears sm going to faint and pass out nearly every second of everyday. No idea why. I've never passed out yet. But it certainly feels like I will from the physical symptoms that the thought leads t. Gosh what a want rant, it's nice to air off to people who underunderstand and are fighting similar battle. Poor us haha. I used to be more an optimist blimey now I feel so Negative from the crappy time im still going Throw. Product removed It helps me see it as just anxity but I csnt fully convince my self sometimes I can some I can't. I really really want off these mirtazapine tho, just not sure how and when anymore. Scared to make my self more anxious. I don't see it as us giving in just us needing a break by upping and getting our strength back so don't feel too hard on yourself. Paul I'm glad you are going ok and it's great that u finally worked out that the stupid things ain't helping you either. Keep going and take each day. Your doing great. We will all grt there in the end. I guess we have no option as live does go on anxious or not ha. Pixie I've been trying diapramic breathing it's meant to be real calming too. My tummy muscles feel so tight from stress and anxity no wonder I ain't breathing proper haha. There's lots of links on goggle for it. Anyway I've rambled on enough ha. Keep pushing u two

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Also guys I learnt from experience and lots of research that the slower reduction is better and the lower the reduction. One link I found one girl in aus got the liquid form and reducied 1mg every 4-6 weeks. Took her she's as sge was sensitive to the stuff. Some are some ain't. We clearly Are. I felt ok going 15 to 13 11 Thrn.9. but after three months I reached to a half and it send me all over with thst non stop adrenaline. I was terrified folks. this is what stops me wd agsin as I'm so scared to get to half and thst happen again. No wonder it leaves us so anxious. Not sure why it happened but docs didn't seem concerned yet it was draining me it was like I waa going out on to Wembley to perform infront of millions. It happened every few seconds just rush after rush after 10 days I coikdnt take no more so docs advice me to up back to 15. Been a month or so and it settled me lots. So in a away they hekp stop that and the morning anxity but that's about it. I don't want to up to next stage as if it's not working at 15 not sure upping will help. Just really regret caving in and taking these meds. Wish they had gave me any other but these as they have messed me up so much and I just want to feel human again.. U guys both know what it's like and what we are going though. I feel.at ease knowing we can all talk and support each other. I hope we can all get off these thjngs and be ok soon. Until then we just have to keep pushing I guess. It sucks but in life we hsve no option. I think I best get my positive reading out the day I'm having haha. Keep strong u guys