My partner is so incensitive!!

Posted , 9 users are following.

Hi ladies,

Just need to have a rant to let it all out. I just came back from walking the dog with my partner but sat here angry, sad and lonely as he asked me if I had a nice lie in knowing last few days my anxiety has kicked off again and I'm waking up in early hours with it and acid reflux is waking me at 2am most mornings coughing. I have been on sick for a month now and he works full time but minimum wage and I get the impression he thinks I'm having a great time at home all day not having to work. When I said you know I'm not sleeping well he just rolled his eyes and said that's life though isn't it what your suffering with Agggrrr men!! Most of the time I bite my tongue and wear the I'm happy mask but sometimes you just think your just so insensitive. Rant over lol.

0 likes, 54 replies

54 Replies

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  • Posted

    Sarah, I truly sympathize with you. Like others have said, men don’t understand what women go through, especially during peri menopause.  Sleep deprivation affects every aspect of your life. Maybe if you “educated” him about peri menopause by sharing other women’s experiences of peri,  he might be more supportive. Good luck😍

    • Posted

      Hi, thanks for replying. I read some of the posts out occasionally and I've sent him info which he read but it's the fact that unless I have those fleeting moments of normal he just can't cope with this me.

  • Posted

    I have shared several of the posts here with my EVER so optimistic hubby. God bless him, btw. He says that if it were him going through this, he'd be just as positive. He gets a cold and thinks he's dying. 😲

    • Posted

      Hi Nancy, yes it's soooo true lol they could never in a million years handle this.

  • Posted

    Hi Sarah, I know that feeling, acid reflux is my 2nd name since meno, along with lots of other meno symptoms, I cnt eat spicy food now or anything with tomatoes in, bt I've found of I dnt eat after 6pm I'm fine and dnt suffer the reflux 😁

    • Posted

      Hi Wendy, thanks for reply. I am eating indegestion tablets like sweets atm but some nights I don't cough which is strange then next night I do maybe need to raise my bed a bit so not sleeping so flat( I can here my partner moaning about that already lol)

  • Posted

    Hi Sarah,  Uf we could only hook people up to a virtual reality machine and have them experience what we deal with!  I sympathize with you, I had to temporarily close my business 6 months ago because I could not keep up.  I am a one woman show.  I work with dogs, so I physically and mentally need to be on my toes!  My husband has been great.  He knows that in the 20 years we’ve been together, I’ve never been this worn out and unhealthy.  Along with taking care of the kids, I am just beat. I catch a little attitude here and there.  They just do not fully understand that there is no magic pill or potion.  Doctors don’t even understand us!  Just do the best you can to ignore dumb comments...not worth your precious energy!  😉

    If all else fails, get another dog!  I love my dogs and cats!  😂

    • Posted

      Hi Lou, thanks for your reply. I don't no how you do it, I admire your strength as I only worked part time and can't handle that although the boss hasn't helped cutting my hours 5 weeks ago because he plays games and wants those he sees as weak links out like I said he's not a nice person and ruthless so ontop of this peri I just couldn't work with him anymore and needed some breathing space to decide what I'm going to do, put up with him or quit and look for something else(not something I'm looking forwards to though at 50 starting again with peri) my partner I think just gets frustrated that I'm not the fun loving person he met 18 years ago. Yes docs don't understand just chuck pills at you that don't help everyone cause we're all different. Yes I think animals love us unconditionally and you can always depend on them, they don't judge you either so at least I have my kizzy who's fast asleep next to me at the moment 😀

    • Posted

      That’s too bad, sounds like your boss is dealing with his own inadequacy issues.  Probably doesn’t wear the pants at home, if you catch my drift 🤣.  That’s great about Kizzy, they know when we need them.  One of my cats (Bella) sleeps as close as possible to me every night. Sucks when I’m having a hot flash.  She started doing that a year ago, when I started feeling awful.  Also, if I start yelling or getting angry, she actually jumps up and licks my nose and cheeks...as if to say “mum, calm down”.  Amazing!  Keep strong and positive 😊

    • Posted

      Hi Sarah you need a different dr. Some doctors don’t think menapuse is a condition seriously....I have a great doctor now (same practice) but she takes it seriously. There’s Cognative therapy too. That’s really good but no doubt there would be a waiting list. I’ll see if I can find an article for you and I’ll send you a link. I made my hubby read it and it worked 
    • Posted

      Anything that makes my partner take notice a bit more would be a godsend. Thanks Lou 😀

  • Posted

    BTW...acid reflux...get a wedge pillow to raise yourself up a little.  Sleeping flat is bad for AF.  Also, stop eating anything 3 hrs before bed.  Absolutely, no spicy foods for dinner.  I have GERD, used to wake up with heart palps and choking. 😜

    • Posted

      Thanks again Lou 😀 Yes I think you've hit the nail on the head with my boss or soon to be ex boss. I think him and alot of the men there are inadequate as there partners wear the pants. I hear stories that would make your toes curl lol. I tryed sleeping with 2 pillows instead of one but found it uncomfortable which is why I thought about raising the bed Yes my kizzy sleeps cuddled up next to me after my partner has gone to work. So do you take any meds Lou?

  • Posted

    I’m on my 8th week of Lexapro.  It took me a year to even consider taking an AD, but because of my crazy hormones, my healthy anxiety took over.  That coupled with the fact that I ran myself ragged last year getting tested for everything, because I thought I was dying.  I stopped BCP last year and everything went downhill.  I am now 41, so my only options are going back on birth control...which I tried, made things worse.  My obgyn said I can’t take HRT until I reach menopause, and  my dad died of a heart attack at 42, so there’s that to consider.  She left the practice so I’m seeing someone else in a couple months.

    Some women can ride out the storm on an AD, hopefully I can until my last period.  I have a lot of physical symptoms.  Fatigue, dizziness.  Once I got through the sucky side effects, the AD seems to be helping me out.  I feel so cheated...women do so much for this world, and there’s just no understanding or help.  😊

     

    • Posted

      I here you Lou, I tryed one when mine started last year as I had crippling anxiety and had no choice. I lasted 2 days as the nausea was unbearable, I felt like the walking dead in the morning hands trembling had to take myself off to a walk in centre as didn't no what was happening. Doc said I'm sensitive to meds. My last appointment last week to get more hrt doc gave me another AD said it's an older one with not as many side effects, not tryed it yet to scared and need see if hrt works first as don't want be rattling as taking that many tabs. Glad your feeling some relief with yours though 😊

    • Posted

      I too could not take AD’s as I’m sensitive to meds it was awful vomiting too I always take half of anything the dr prescribes. So you may be also sensitive to HRT as I am now finding out so make sure you go on a low dose to start. If it’s a patch you may want to cut it on half .... I started with the full dose and it’s messing me up . 

      I don’t want to feel like I’m 21 just want to feel somewhat normal like I’m actually in my own body . 

    • Posted

      I tried lexapro many years ago ... it was awful only lasted 3 days and was vomiting water ... and I have a strong stomach . Recently with all this meno stuff tried Zoloft or sertraline 

      And that was awful too . Lost lbs overnight constant sweaty and I mean soaking wet palms and running to the bathroom every 5 minutes. Some people have great success but I don’t really want to change who I am ... and I guess too sensitive to those kinds of meds. 

    • Posted

      Yes sertraline!! That was the one I tryed, lasted 2 days was awful, It was the first ever AD I've ever tryed and scared me so much hopefully will be the last but you tell docs and just want to try you on different ones it's so frustrating 😠

    • Posted

      I was on 1/2 pill of the lowest dose which I believe is 12mg so 6mg and yes it was horrible ! you sound sensitive like me so if you find something that isn’t a b...tch to get on ... I’d gladly try it. 

      My mom is on Prozac and has been great on it and my friend is on Celexa she is non stop never stops moving and is always cheery and happy ( which can be a bit annoying ) 🤣 . 

      We have to say ‘I like me i want to be the best that I can naturally’. I don’t want to change my personality maybe just a tweak to get through this time . 

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