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Name your 'Gammy' bit.

Posted , 5 users are following.

archemedes
archemedes

The idea behind this is to create a list of all those faulty bits that we suffer with so much.

Please try to keep it to a one-liner, and then at the end we should be left with a list of those things that are wrong with us (both humerous and otherwise) that drive each one of us mad.

3 likes, 206 replies

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  • archemedes
    archemedes

    Posted

    Just to remind everyone that as this thread is getting very long we now have a new one up and running in the Chatroom called:

    Name your 'Gammy' bit - The Return Part 2. arrow

    I've put one or two medical tongue in cheek jokes up there for anyone interested.

  • GeorgiaS
    GeorgiaS archemedes

    Posted

    Apparently I have a health condition I didn't know about. I had to get a letter of my origingal CFS diagnosis because I'm fighting to keep the care.

    In it it says 'Georgia was of slim build and was wearing a bandana, leather jacket and jeans and appart from being initially anxious she was normal'. Lol

    Is my clothing choice part of my health condition, if so I really need help. lol

    • archemedes
      archemedes GeorgiaS

      Posted

      Didn't they tell you that your (added) new diagnosis is "Nosenseofdressapethy" coupled with "Myjeansaretootightisyology"

      I might say two of the most dangerous. distressing and inoperable conditions. cheesygrin  

    • archemedes
      archemedes

      Posted

      They say that some relief from these conditions might be found by liberally greasing the 'Fluttle Valve" with heavy duty axle grease. cheesygrin
    • archemedes
      archemedes GeorgiaS

      Posted

      I do hope you keep more air in your tyres than wind in your willows cheesygrin
    • GeorgiaS
      GeorgiaS archemedes

      Posted

      And I hope you keep enough wind in your kilt to keep it flying! And my willows have nothing to do with you, behave! Tut biggrin
    • archemedes
      archemedes GeorgiaS

      Posted

      So then, what have you got to tell me about your day then?
    • archemedes
      archemedes

      Posted

      A SCOTTISH JOKE (for a change)

      Sandy was drinking at a pub all night. When he got up to leave, he fell flat on his face. He tried to stand again, but to no avail, falling flat on his face. He decided to crawl outside and get some fresh air to see whether that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and, sure enough, fell flat on his face. So, being a practical Scot, he crawled all the way home.

      When he got to the door, he stood up yet again, but fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door into his bedroom. When he reached his bed, he tried once more to stand upright. This time he managed to pull himself to his feet but fell into bed. He was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

      He woke the next morning to his wife shaking him and shouting,

      "So, ye've been oot drinkin' as usual!"

      "Why would ye say that?" he complained innocently.

      "Because the pub called an' ye left yer wheelchair there again!"

    • GeorgiaS
      GeorgiaS archemedes

      Posted

      It was a day that had things in it. Unlike the olllllllddddddd empty barn. What do you want, an essay. Yeah writing a really difficult OU essay about death and dying because I love punishment. cheesygrin
    • archemedes
      archemedes GeorgiaS

      Posted

      Part good, part funny, part heartbreaking, part active, part lazy, part interesting, part tiring.

      All in all a usual type of day. cool

    • georgeGG
      georgeGG GeorgiaS

      Posted

      Well Geogia you have broken new medical ground. I have discovered in these last few months that my symptoms must be politically correct or be subjected to political correction. Now our dress must be politically correct or . . . The mind boggles. Are the political police going to leap upon us stripping and clothing until we're politically correctly dressed. I forcibly stripped of every vestige of squarishness until a proper uniformity of in formalist garb is achieved.. While your bandana is plucked off and consigned to the flames and every other vestige of self expression and originality and exuberance is replaced by grey uniformity. 

      Then at last our medical and social records can be updated, uniform and tidily indistinguishable except for that all important distinguishing mark our UID. -  Unique IDentity.

      eek

      Please someone wake me up. I am having an appalling nightmare.

    • georgeGG
      georgeGG archemedes

      Posted

      It's catching. Archemedes is having a nightmare too dreaming of Nosenseofdressapethy and Myjeansistootightisyology. Quick fill the room with Soma. Take the suffering politically incorrect dreamer to the re-education clinic. Prescribe uniformly grey drab walls, grey diet of grey tasting food and drink. A few years of that and he will dream correct grey dreams. 

      Another  poor dreamer restored to political correctness.

    • georgeGG
      georgeGG archemedes

      Posted

      O you dour old Scot - that relly creased me up. Even heralding it as a Scottish joke was part of the blind for the eventual punch line. Absolutely marvellous. I am still wiping the laughter tears from my eyes.
    • GeorgiaS
      GeorgiaS georgeGG

      Posted

      It's shocking isn't it, do consultants describe what everyone is wearing in their health reports! No wonder the NHS is overstetched if they take all that time doing that. 

      I think we should all go to appointments naked to save them time and give them a laugh. cheesygrin

      Love your rant George! 

    • georgeGG
      georgeGG GeorgiaS

      Posted

      And no wonder they stonewall desperately when a patient via his/her lawyer asks for a copy of the file. It is really expensive. I have read on the forum of the resistance that is put up. The documents that are withheld. Reason the patient might become disturbed. Too true when they see some of the things written about them. I hope I shall never be in that situation. It is too stressful.

      glad you liked that rant. No fun in this one.

      no room for joking there. The steam coming out of your ears would be real.

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