Not liking CBT / unsure what to do.

Oh thank you so, so much for sharing that. I just did some research and yes there's "Psychological Wellbeing Practitioners" - who I'm seeing, and "Psychological Therapists" but I think the Wellbeing Practitioners are the ones who can refer me to the Therapists, after at least 3 sessions if they feel you need it. But I'm just finding it so difficult to be open with her, I think there's a high possibility she won't realise I qualify (if I do, I'm not even sure).

Oh I don't know what to do... or who to contact, I hate calling people up, I hate talking to people I don't know about this. I think I will just end up going to see my GP again and talk to him about it.

Thanks and best wishes,

Anya

From your reply to me I can see that you are good at research and probably enjoy it. I do too. Doing something constructive about a problem breaks the cycle of worry and indecision which makes everything feel worse.  I know only too well how difficult it can be to summon up the courage to speak to someone you don't know about a personal matter. My husband has a real fear of calling up people he doesn't know and I suppose I've always sheltered him from having to do it. Try to find out how your CBT has been arranged. You might find something if you go online and onto the website for your GP surgery. There may even be a facility for e mailing them a question. Otherwise look for your local mental health services and see if they are providing CBT. You may well be able to contact them by e mail. In my experience the Wellbeing practitioners are relucatant to refer you to the qualified therapist as they are few and far between as they are expensive to employ. Many years ago before I brought  anxiety onto myself with overwork and stress I worked for MIND but not in the area where I had the CBT.( It wasn't working for MIND that brought on the stress which triggered the anxiety.)

If only you can step out of your comfort zone and get this sorted you will feel so much more positive and achieve great things. The best thing to do to overcome the fear or dislike of doing something is to face it head on and then you realise that actually you can do it and the worse that will happen is that you will have a few symptoms of anxiety whilst you are doing it and they are like a bully once you face up to them and then ignore them  they lose their power.

Go for it! Use the energy that you are putting into worrying to get you where you want to be. In this case help from a qualified CBT therapist. 

Best wishes

 Eileen 

Hi Eileen,

Yes, I do quite enjoy doing research, but sometimes knowing I need to research something I’m nervous about makes me put it off. There are some things I can’t bring myself to even start to research. Like all the reading up I did on the NHS thrust and how they work after I got replies to this post I could have done before I posted it I guess but I didn’t, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it because I wasn’t really sure what I was looking for or what I’d do with the info but haveing people to 'talk' to about it and having people sharing they experiences just made it so much easier. It made in interesting as opposed to stressful.

My GP surgery’s pretty small and their webpage is so outdated, there’s no reliable info to be found there. So many doctors are listed on there that don’t work at the practice anymore and the new ones the do arn't listed also lady who listed as the practice nurse is also the previous one, so website is not the best place to get into lol. But the service is really good and I like my GP so I really don’t care if their webpage is outdated.

I think I need to figure out what it is I want, the trust where I’m getting my ‘guided self help’ does have therapists who do CBT and I’m not even sure if my GP knows that what I’m getting at the moment isn’t CBT so I’ve scheduled an appointment with him for Tuesday and I’ll just talk to him (hopefully – if I get stuck I’ll have a letter prepared) and I think that he’ll want me to do the real CBT. I’m pretty sure he can and will put some pressure onto my wellbeing practitioner to refer me for CBT. I’m just not 100% sure I even want CBT. I don’t know, it seem so ridged and weird – the more I read about it the less I think it’s the right thing for me.

Thank you so much, your comments have helped a lot! I will do a little more research today and figure out exactly who I can contact and what else might be available to me then I’ll see my GP on Tuesday, wellbeing practitioner on Wednesday and then if I’ll need to, I’ll start sending emails or maybe even calling up people (would need some hand holding for the calling up I think – I might make another post here and get some courage from all you lovely people).

As much as I sometimes hate to admit it I do need some professional help or else I’ll never be able to live a normal and fulfilled life : ( So yes I’ll do my best to find and get something that works for me.

Thank you for sharing and all the very best,

Anya

Yeah you're probably right... I'm just not sure I'll be able to, I guess I could write a letter but oh my I'm going to feel ridiculous giving it to her at my next session! I might go see my GP first anyway and as the therapist comes to the practice to see patients she does have direct contact with the doctors there. Realistically I have all weekend to think about it / draft letters and things so I'll figure it out. You are right though best thing would be to speak to her directly, I just need to find the courage to do that!

​Thanks

No therapist will tell details about themselves - or they shouldnt. There shouldnt be a friend like bond, thats not at all what its about - if your too familiar, you dont share in the same way, so i wouldnt think a therapist would respond to that.  CBT is not intended to deal with Anxiety that has a root cause, emotional etc, It is generally for anxiety without preconditions, which works for many. But if there is a past issue, whether known or not which is triggering anxiety without a person even recognising the triggers, then the chances of CBT alone working plummets

Hi David,

It’s not even real CBT yet and she’s not even a real therapist (I realised this earlier today doing some research of what's available for me), I mean I guess she is but her title isn’t “therapist”. From what I do know about CBT, even if I do get referred to one of the Psychological Therapists for real CBT, I’m really not sure it’ll be the right thing for me. My GP suggested it and I said I’d give it a go but I think I might actually benefit from something a little less ridged (I don’t fit into their boxes very well). But yes I agree with you, not being open with my therapist isn’t going to get me anywhere – but she just makes me feel so awkward and self-conscious, I plan on being open and really giving it a good go but then I get there and feel so uncomfortable I just can’t go through with it.

I do agree with jmcg2014, I don’t think I can ask her personal questions, it would probably really freak her out and she won’t know how to respond (unless she’s got a prepared/scripted answer for when patients say things like that).

I won’t give up though, I wanted to earlier but I won’t.

Thanks, it does help, that last bit helps most : )

p.s. I follow you on Twitter and you followed me back today… you might not have realised it's me though(?)   ; )

Just see it through kiddo, you might learn something 

David ❤️😀🙏

I am talking about building rapport with the therapist and this should have been one of the first things established no matter what kind of therapy, and this should have been instigated by the therapist who has obviously not done a very good job. As for CBT, it's an overused tool often taught badly. Sad really because it is a useful diagnostic tool 

Yea mindfulness is popular in the NHS just now,like you my experience of it isn't that good. The problem I think is the NHS take something that might work,then water it down and don't train staff properly to deliver it,so it ends up a bunch t of a pointless exercise

Hi Nora, thanks for this lovely long reply!

“Healthy Minds” sounds like it functions pretty much exactly the same way as “iCope” (which is my local NHS service). I think with all therapy it depends so, so much on who the therapist is. Partially it’s about how good they are and how much experience they have but sometimes there’s also a natural chemistry (for lack of a better word) between two people which really helps.

From what I know, mindfulness is a type of meditation (so not necessarily therapy) developed by some American, based on aspects of Buddhist meditation (he probably just dumbed it down and made it more commercial), and now it’s somehow been intertwined with therapy... I’ve been meaning to look into what the different is between the mindfulness as a therapy and mindfulness just the meditation. iCope does a “mindfulness course” but I doubt it’s any good, probably very similar to what you’ve experienced.

I don’t think they offer DBT. But you’re right, I know I shouldn’t worry about what my GP thinks and I don’t even know why I do, he’s really sweet to me – just a little at a loss as to what to do with me I think. But I’ll probably make an appointment to go see him before my next therapy session, I’ll have a letter with me but I’ll try to talk. If I don’t manage and I hand over a letter, he won’t even be surprised! And then if he says to go see the therapist anyway I think I’ll get a letter ready for her as well.

Thank you so, so much for sharing your experiences, it was really interesting to read and really helpful!

All the best,

Anya

Yeah, jgmc, I think you got it in one --- unfortunately.