OMG I think I am now certifiable crazy! Patch on patch off patch on....

That’s me too Sarah hate relying on drs and prescriptions . Left the patch off for a week and was a complete mess. The fatigue my God! Never experienced anything like it in my life .... i want to do this naturally but realized I can’t . It’s not just feeling a bit tired it’s like I’ve been drugged all day . Can’t nap as all I bloody think about is this illness hormones agh!!!! 

Maybe you don’t have the right dosage I know I was only on 1.5 mg cream and did nothing but now I’m doin the patch I cut it in half so am getting 2.5 mg . It does help. 

Hi finny

I hear everything you’re  saying ! I want to be back to ME also ! The way I used to feel act everything !

It started badly for me April and since then have been a complete mess ! 

It’s  all I think about ALL day but I can’t help it .im a nervous wreck ! 

I think the trauma of all this affects us tremendously . Can’t make plans constantly moaning about the fatigue ... it’s no life .

I’ve spent so many hours not sleeping but just lying in bed . Seasons have passed me by and although I’ve tried to ride the wave and just accept it .... it’s really getting to me!

Yes I too thought about sending my sister a ticket but having a guest when you’re so wiped out .... I think best for me to just get through this and be alone right now .

I can so appreciate your post. My symptoms became severe July of 17. Like you, they came out of nowhere and I had no idea what they were! Loads of dr visits and blood tests trying to reveal the reason I felt so dreadful. I was really in the weeds for about 3 months. During that time I either called my mom every single day and talked with her for a couple hours or had her come stay with me ( she lives 1.5 hrs away from me.) I am married and had  2 kids at home during this time and they were all supportive and kind to me - but I needed my mommy! I wil be forever grateful to her for pretty much taking chunks of her day every day and helping me through this. Some days all she did was listen to me cry and grasp at straws as to what might make me feel better. Other times we'd just chat about silly things and laugh and redirect my mind. She never once told me to get over it or move on and she never once didn't answer my calls! And she never had any issues with menopause but she has been a saint helping me through mine! 

Also, you mention giving yourself permission to just "take off" a couple months and do what you need to do to help yourself and get through the roughest parts of  this. That is exactly what I did. At first I had no choice. I literally couldn't get out of bed for weeks. After that, I was gunshy due to my peri anxiety but I stayed inside and never did anything I didn't want to! I told my firends what was going on with me ( even though I didn't know it was peri at the time... I just told them I was having panic attacks and felt like I was suffocating and had anxiety) and that I couldn't even be relied upon to answer my phone and chat and that I couldn't see them or do anything with them. That was very tough for me because I was not  the type to let people know I was anything but on top of life and who wants to tell people you've basically had a nervous breakdown! I lost some friends but I also realized who my true friends are by doing this. I'm sure there is a little subset of " my people" that have branded me a looney and are afraid of me! 😜 Lol! Oh well. I am now 13 months into this and am much, much better than I was a year ago. I am doing this naturally ( tried BHRT for 5 weeks, but it wasn't for me) and while we are all different, I think allowing myself to be weak, needy, sick, tired, anxious and just not myself helped me move through the roughest patches of it. When it first started and I was trying to figure it out and fix myself I was in the worst, most desperate state. Once I tried putting it into perspective and let it just be my reality for this time of my life is when it all started calming down. I have more good days now than bad days. I'd say my ratio is now 5-6 good days to 1 bad day and that bad day isn't debilitating. Certainly not how I was prior to this, but certainly manageable. I've even had days of where I felt as healthy as I was before this all started... and they are coming closer together! Maybe do as you posted and give yourself a break and just be kind to yourself and don't try to figure it out or work through it. Wave your white flag.. surrender to this peri mess and reappear when you feel you're up to it. Hugs to you. I know it so hard. It will be ok and you will get through this and be yourself again. 

Audra,

My eyes are all watery reading your post. My mom also had a breeze of the Meno and has been the biggest blessing to me right now. We FaceTime every single day - she listens to me talk about the SAME things over and over and over and over. She will make me laugh - she's a great laugher and has always had this calm and joy that comes naturally. 

I have read your 2nd paragraph at least 5 times now and am planning to read it again, LOL! 

When it first started and I was trying to figure it out and fix myself I was in the worst, most desperate state. 

Your words above? Those words describe me June & July....a most desperate state. The symptoms came fast and furious. I had never been anxious or depressed.  I crashed early June. And that is what happened - I crashed - I literally could not get out of bed for about 3 days during my last period. I've had numerous tests done. Then once I was able to get out of bed - I was still so exhausted for weeks. Then the crying started - out of nowhere - that last about 3 days. Then the worrying, health anxiety, physical symptoms from that list of 66 symptoms - all over the place.

It's almost mid - August. I am SO much better than I was those nightmare 3 weeks in June and then semi-nightmare July and early August. I feel like yesterday and today I am coming into the acceptance of this Meno reality. Your words are BEYOND BEYOND comforting. I realize I cannot be the strong, happy, full of life woman that I've always been for my family and friends and have to let go. This is my current season. I'm learning to accept it. I did get dressed today but have been a couch potato upon waking. My husband has taken our kids out for the day. I cried a little when they left - realizing I am just not up for it  and sad that I'm not up for it. I have no choice. My body is saying no. I'm fragile. I haven't gone this long without a period - but my mom says hers stopped right around 50 and I'll be 50 in November. If all of these emotional and physical symptoms are a final performance and my body will slowly adjust to the plummet of hormones - that will be wonderful. I did start the topical otc progesterone 3 days ago based on my Saliva test results which were extremely low. I am watching a lot of movies (don't know that I've ever done this before?? LOL) - I am starting to feel a relief to give myself this permission to be kind to myself and give my body this rest. In addition to the movies, I am going through TONS of old posts on this forum - you may get some more replies from me on some of your old posts, LOL! Thank you so much, Audra - your post has been such a huge comfort to me!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Im so glad my post has made you feel better! I love this forum and it has helped me through some dark days knowing I'm not alone. I always check this forum everyday, so I'm always here to help or chat if needed 😊 

Your mom sounds lovely. Mine is too. What would we do without them!? 

I know you didn't get to go out with your family today but I hope you had a nice time watching movies and relaxing. 😊 

Big hugs to you!!! 

Yes I always say baby yourself at this time . I’ve been going through this badly since April and boy has it been a rollercoaster ! I live alone with my cat and have never felt lonely before this.... now I feel lost . 

I don’t make plans anymore and if I’m feeling ‘ok’ I’ll maybe go out but I’ve spent endless hours watching tv... thank God for tv!

Trying to remain optimistic but it’s really tough ....especially when you’re alone and it becomes all you think about.

I’m just telling myself I WILL feel better and I am ILL with this right now . I think when you’re going through the physical exhaustion and the mental low mood and depression it’s a double whammy . I honestly never knew it could be SO BAD!! 

So well said Audra! So glad you are feeling much better and that there is light at the end of the tunnel . My Peri was awful too at 41  it took months to feel somewhat normal . I literally freaked out as I now know  that it was all hormones at the time thought it was PTSD.

Now I think I’m postmeno at 52 and it has been HELL.... it’s like you lose your mind confidence everything that was once familiar becomes ‘weird’ .

I had to go on the patch as my fatigue was so debilitating every day ...so now I just do 1/2 patch and it’s lifted the symptoms . I’m not happy about being on it and wanted to ‘get through this ‘ naturally .i could not though.

I just try to tell myself if I had a headache I’d take a migraine pill so..... in time when I’m feeling better mentally I’ll wean off it .

Hi Lori,

Yes - not only am I dealing with all NEW peri symptoms since my last period in June - I feel like I am still trying to recover from the onset - this came on out of nowhere!!!!!. It was traumatizing as I didn't know how awful plummeting hormones would influence numerous functions in my body!!!!

After reading a ton - it sounds like about 30% of us have hormones that plummet and the rest of the  women will never have this experience - they will have regular levels of all hormones forever - hence why my mom and other friends of mine only remember a few hot flashes and then no period. 

I decided to embrace that I'm in that 30 % and had yet again another little pity party about that this morning. I am slowly trying the transdermal progesterone cream and additional supplements as needed. 

I find that I just want to watch movies and do the minimum. The hours and days are passing me by, too. 

You all inspire me so much to keep on keeping on! 

Yes I read 20% get it really bad 20% no real symptoms and 60% can deal with it just hot flashes etc.

I’ve neber been a jealous person but boy oh boy am I jealous of those who get minimum or mild symptoms 😩

If you’re in Peri your hormones will level out and then you’ve got it all to do again in meno post meno.

By my blood results I’m post meno and although I crashed  at 41 terribly I got through it after many months.

Meno was mainly just some panic anxiety and a few hot flashes and sweats... nothing crazy . But post meno is the WORST!! 

So glad your mom could be of comfort I may fly my sister out when I’m feeling stable . I just had to cancel my trip to UK in June to see my mom as was such a mess.

Boy the fatigue !! Cannot keep my eyes open !

Yes the patch has helped immensely with that it’s hust that I didn’t want to go on BHRT wanted to fight this like the fighter I am!

Had no choice though . 

Hi Beverly 

Let me know how that goes for you and if you get any results make sure you post your results and any improvement as it helps all the other ladies too. 

I cut my patch in half and that’s enough to get me through. I did however stick the whole patch on yesterday after a week of no patches as I was so ill with the fatigue. 

I’ve also started a low dose of testosterone and low dose progesterone at night. Im not jumping through hoops yet and don’t feel MYSELF but at least it curbs the fatigue .

Hi Beverlys1,

This is SO inspiring to read you are noticing some changes since starting the bio identical hormones! I am reading a ton on this today and am open to these options. My Saliva test results said my estr/progest ratio is 8 and normal range is 100 - 500. 

I am starting first with the otc progesterone cream morning and night and I am starting to notice some subtle changes as well in just 3 days.

A good friend of mine who was a Pharmacist at one time suggested that I start with the otc progesterone cream to get started and then have a consult with my local natural path MD here to talk about the compounding as this is what she has been doing for a number of years.