Our Stalker Is Back

Brilliant news Tess. Well done both of you. Could easily have gone the opposite way with all the stress and harassment you've been having. I love the way you support each other, obviously a strong marriage, which although hard at times and pushed to the limits, has proved love conquers all

That is so good to hear.  You both have done amazingly well.

You can tell you have a really strong bond with each other from all your posts - just lovely x

Well, it pushed us the other way for a while - but I believe that Jim has a strong plan in his head which he doesn't want me to interfere with - so I don't.

As for the benzos, all I can say is that gabapentin has switched off my desire for them. Three cheers for Doc Diazepam for agreeing to prescribe them. They have taken away all my arthritic pain as well and made me unbelievably calm. I also sleep very well at night. We had a wonderful holiday in Scotland where Jim met loads of his family for the very first time. It was amazing. I am now researching houses in the area because we always said when out youngest boy was settled we would move to Scotland. The young man in question has overcome unbelievable obstacles to get accepted by the Navy. They asked him if he wanted to be in Intelligence but he declined. He wants to mend weapons.

Don't blame me if he blows the world up.

Considering all that has been going on, which has been so awful for you, you two are doing amazingly well.  Well done.  Sorry I've not responed before - hubby is in hospital and I haven't got around to reading posts.

Oh no. Is he very sick?

Wow..I'm almost lost for words again!

I WISH Gabapentin would do that for me....I have a MILLION of them...

Good for you!

And good for Jim...happy house hunting.

Excellent news, Tess! I know a calmer you means a calmer Jim too, so sounds like Doc Diazepam got a 2 for 1 there.

That might be a good question to pose to your doctor, Misssy. If Tess got that benefit from Gabapentin and you don't, what does that mean for your neurochemistry and is there something that might do the trick for you? Has the doc prescribed anything for your BPD or are you working on that one with therapy alone?

hi Adefree...Well, the Gabapentin does help me somewhat with the "pain" I experience...not that big a difference...but ENOUGH.

I have read that it helps with anxiety...as it is helping Tess...but it doesn't help me with my "anxiety".  My "anxiety" is off the charts..and every clinician I come in contact with says that...but they are ALL afraid of prescribing the benzos that I need to be calmer.

Until recently, my General Practioner....has referred me to a pdoc she knows and I have a meeting with that pdoc next week...she wants me to tell this pdoc to call her when she sees me...so that they can talk about prescribing me more benzo's as that is what my GP wants me to have.

The BPD is dealt with by a therapist...who coincidently told me to give my new pdoc her card because she wants to suggest that I am prescribed more of a dose of benzos than what i currently have...she said she thinks it is necessary.  BUT...with the laws in my state...and the crack down on drugs...it is so hard to get anyone to prescribe an "alcoholic" these drugs.

I have been open to doing drug tests so they monitor that i am not drinking...but as you know...I don't drink daily WHEN I don't drink.....I drink for days or weeks at a time...but then stop for days and weeks at a time...so its hard for them to prescribe to me..they don't want me to kill myself...and then take benzos that will be available to me.

 

last sentence should be...

They don't want me to drink copious amounts of alcohol and then take benzos that would be available to me.

Hmmm. That's a tough one indeed. 

Have you ever tried L-Theanine? That seems to be a hit or miss supplement, but when it works it's a big hit with folks. 

I also wonder about CBD oil. 

It's essential with gabapentin that you start on a lowish dose and gradually work your way upwards, day by day, until you reach the dose that works for you. Then stick to it. It's no use taking it randomly and in random amounts.

I am taking 900mg, three times a day, but I started on 100mg, three times a day. I did go higher than that but derived no increased benefit so went back to 900 mg, three times a day.

What are you taking, Missy? because maybe it just isn't enough>

I was taking 300mg 3x a day.

I stopped it because it made me gain weight.

I now will pop one when I am low on anxiety pills and tell myself that it will help me...I think it does help sometimes...but nothing I can count on..and I'm not willing to pop 3 of those pills at the same time...just seems wrong to me...LOL

what is going on in this saga?

Terry has a Restraining Order which has frightened the life out of him because he is already in trouble with the police for several unrelated matters.

Joe (who lives much further away) has been told not to come near us or he will arrested and charge.

Hsven't seen either of them for weeks, thank goodness, although the police told us to dial 999 immediately if either of them showed up.

It's chilly here now so the back door is not permanently double-bolted.

I had a minor relapse but am now on 6mg valium, In three weeks they will be out of my life for good.

Gabapentin is working wonders for me.

Since our holiday, Jim has started drinking again, which is a disappointment to me, and is makig him feel guilty. But I've told him not to feel guilty - it's an illness and he can't help it.

He has a Liver Specialist appointment in a month. I hope it will help him see how much appalling damage he's done - but I know that people with AUD generally dismiss what is happening to them.

I would appreciate advice and support from the Forum, although I know there's nothing he can do except an in-patient detox and various othe treatments.

That's really why we went to Scotland recently - I have a feeling that has neem his last time.

xxxxx Tess

I don't know why my post got moderated.

Tess, Jim has made progress and the black and white drinking/not drinking point of view will likely work against that. Let him know that he's still making progress in the bigger picture. Some drinking is to be expected. You've both made a lot of progress together and I expect you will continue to do so. Don't let the one day or even the one week turn your attitude.

Hey, Ade, my attitude stays the same now!

I NEVER mention how many cans he has. I can see him gradually drinking less and I'm not commenting. He hates it if I bring the subject of alcohol up - in fact, if I do, he immediately opens another can, to relieve the stress.

Things ARE going well here. We're going to Bulgaria to visit his brother and sister-in-law, but not till it gets a bit warmer there.

My Sis in Law has suggested that Wizz-Air is the cheapest.

Sounds like a toy you used to get in a Christmas stocking.

Oh, well.

Yes, I've found that it makes me want to eat more, too.

Bah.

Great, Tess! Good to hear. Steady as she goes, then and I hope you folks have a very enjoyable vacation!