Overwhelming Negative Thoughts
Posted , 83 users are following.
Hi Everyone! So I have had anxiety issues since I was a kid but this last year or two has been the worst it's ever been for me. I find myself always reverting back to my negative thinking ways. I haven't seen a therapist or a professional because frankly I can't afford it and I always end up chickening out when I do find a somewhat affordable place.
I've been researching a lot about different anxiety disorders and I'm most relatable to that of OCD and I definitely feel I have depression as well. I'm sorry if my post is a little excessive but I find that even writing it all down, gives me some relief of all the stress I feel. I would really love any feedback and any type of help you could all give me.
I am constantly making myself feel like I'm a bad person. I have a lot of negative thoughts running through my mind on a daily basis. I will bring up bad memories from the past of things that I did wrong or when I had made bad judgements. It's really hard for me to try and move on from past mistakes. I am always saying in my head, "I should of did this" and "why didn't I do that instead." I beat myself up over things I can't change. I notice that anytime there is something that is going good for me, I will find reasons why I don't deserve it or why I'm not worthy of having it in my life.
I also have panic attacks when driving alone. I always worry that I hit someone or something and didn't realize it or notice. I turn the radio down real low so that I can hear every noise just in case. I get so nervous and worried that I will check my car a bunch of times just to see if there's any type of damage or difference. I think the worst if I feel a bump or hear any type of ding.
I think the biggest thing that triggers my anxiety disorder is my fear of how people perceive me to be. I really need reassurance from others in order to feel like I'm doing things right or that I'm a good person. Everything I do or say in front of people, I analyze. I try and figure out what they are thinking and how they are judging me. I just want everyone To like me and think I'm a good person. I try to relate to everyone so that they have a positive view of me. I am always in fear of people getting the wrong idea or misinterpreting something I said and in doing so, they think I'm a terrible person.
I also get really stressed out whenever I go into stores because I get worried that the people working there will think me or the person I'm with is trying to shoplift. I will as far as buying something I don't even really want just so that they don't think I went there just to steal something.
When leaving the house, I go over everything in my head and if I'm not sure whether I locked, shut or turned something off before I left, I worry the entire time something will happen to my dogs while I'm away because of it. Like if I don't make it apparent that I checked all candles were blown out, then I will just worry that my house will burn down with my dogs in it.
There is a lot more that goes on in my head but I don't want to over load you guys in just one post. I am hoping that some of you can relate to any of the issues and can give me some advice as to what helps you. It can be so isolating living with an anxiety disorder because I know I keep these thoughts to myself since I know no one else in my life can understand what I'm going through. I avoid a lot of the things I love because they trigger my OCD thoughts and it just makes me so stressed and depressed. I want to be able to control my thoughts and just be happy.
Thanks for taking the time to read my long post and I look forward to hearing anything you have to say about it.
21 likes, 74 replies
DirTy_777 mary18945
Posted
Hi mary i have the same thing happening to me i feel people can hear my thoughts or can feel when i get scared . Wat happens is when i feel people can hear my thoughts i tend to think negative things i woulnt want to disclose to anybody then if they react to anything i think it feeds it even more and my thoughts get louder . I feel horrible i cant be around kids or old people either because im scared of wat people will think if i get a negative thought about them. Wat helps me a little is to not believe it and to ground my self . See with your eyes and not with your imagination look up on youtube how to ground yourself look at Teal Swans video it will help u out a Lot i wish u luck and dnt forget jesus loves u are cured bye.<3
kindra81214 mary18945
Posted
Hi Mary my name is kindra,and I never met someone that feels the same way I do...I struggle with the same thoughts and wonder why I can't just live a normal life....I have extreme anxiety and I can't drive alone as well....the freeway makes me panic even more....crowded places as well...I know I need to find help soon because I'm afraid it will ruin my marriage.. I'm so lost on what to do or where to go
Jay420 mary18945
Posted
Hi! I'm only 13 but I'm experiencing the same thing.I just tried searching this problem and this one speaks to me the most.Whenever I make one tiny mistake it sticks with me forever, I beat myself up over for no reason(I know it's the anxious thoughts).Sometimes it keeps me up at night or gives me stomach problems like feeling nauseous before school,I really hate it.There's more that I'd add but it looks like most of what I'm experiencing is already in what you wrote.I hope we can both get a resolve soon!
hanna89230 mary18945
Posted
bella72575 mary18945
Posted
Can I just say that every word you write is everything that I go through. The comment about going shopping - I thought it was just me!!!! I feel afraid to touch something in case they think I'm stealing. I always think the worst that everyone hates me and I'm always going to be alone. I also don't go to see anyone for help with this condition as I'm worried what the doctors think of me or the stigma of being mentally ill.
Thank you for sharing this because I feel less alone now. I hope that you get comfort from me feeling the same way!
asif91900 mary18945
Posted
Thnx I cn relate to everything I hve suffered anxiety I do the same what I hve found is meditation cn help I'm always worried wt pple think Abt a lot of the lies my head tells me I think if you know your nt wrong you shouldn't worry Abt others tht is wt I say to myself
john47751 mary18945
Posted
the point is to refrain from performing any compulsions whether it be checking, reassurance seeking, etc.
1. Try and attack the root cause of your OCD because unless that is fixed all other attempts will be feeble
2. Create a motivational writeup which contains very specifically why your thoughts are irrational, how other normal people deal with it and how it is affecting your life and those of others around you. Read this first thing every morning and night before going to bed for 10mins
3. I would suggest tackling all compulsions at once rather that attacking them one by one because the latter approach takes too long and you loose the patience and will power.
asif91900 john47751
Posted
peter_22733 john47751
Posted
annie31518 mary18945
Posted
Mary I am 19 years old, from London, I experience everything you've written there!! Can you email me , I don't know who else to talk to
muazzam981 mary18945
Posted
sunnycms mary18945
Posted
CBT is a very good therapy direction for your symptoms/thoughts. Dr. Burns has a book on Amazon that has a good, scientific track record of working for negative thoughts. The book is Feeling Good...... I'm not sure of the cost, but it will be a cheaper route than person to person therapy.
Henry182 mary18945
Posted
Thanks for sharing it.
karen90191 mary18945
Posted
Mary
I so can relate to you. I have chronic anxiety, panic attacks and severe depression. I was in the military years ago and was raped my a shipmate of mine what has caused a lot of my issues. I've been on the roller roaster from hell for years. Some days are better than others. I have to say my 3 children are my rock. They are 21, 18 and 17. They jump on my bed and say that's enough. Time to get up. They know it's difficulty for me. They help me thru it. They sure do not enable me.
I like you want everyone to like me. I to look for validation from others. When I was reading what you were writing I was saying to myself this is so me. I was told by my therapist that I have to like me, and validate me. It has to come from me. He said the more you keep looking for validation make else ware your still not solving the big problem. You have to be comfortable with you, yourself. I work on it everyday. It's difficult. For the longest time I couldn't look in the mirror because I didn't like who I saw. So my team told me to do a drive by, just peak in the mirror. I did that for awhile and started liking me. It comes in waves but it's working. Small steps. Forgive yourself for the passed. I have a hope poem. I'll share with you if you'd like. I have some pass stuff to I'm not proud of.
Hope this helped
Guest mary18945
Posted
Hello everyone, i know how hard it is to have anxiety , depression and more over negative thoughts. They are very irritating. But not to worry guys. Here is the website of transcendental.meditation. Hope you guys will learn this meditation as it really helps a lot of ppl who struggle with this illness. I was once a victim of this illness and now Im free from all these. 😃
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