Pain

Hi Lizzy

It must be really difficult for you to make ends meet with Alan out of work.

I know how hard it is when you have five children to clothe and feed when they were at home. Must be hard with you having four as well. Its not just food etc to have to pay for its the extra things that come along on top. I do hope Alan can get a job and will keep my fingers crossed for him for his interview.

I have had a couple of busy days this week. Have had both Sophie and Molly on Wednesday and Thursday. It is hard enough when the house is in order but more difficult with the kitchen and dining area being up side down. However I coped but was really tired last night. Going to a friends house today for dinner to chill out for the day.

I am getting no further with getting the ashes. My brother is just not getting back to me. I have left messsages on his house phone, his mobile phone and his wifes mobile phone. Still no answer. I think it is really rude and hurtful. My Dad would not have been happy with this going on. To be it is tarnishing my Dads's memory. It is so frustrating but I will keep trying to get hold of him or my other sister. With this going on it has again divived the family. Its my brother and sister who didn't want Dad to go into the nursing home. I truly believe my Dad did want to go in a nursing home but they were getting together and they were telling him to stay at his flat and they would look after him. If I could have changed anything it would have been for Dad to have had his last few months in a Nursing Home being looked after properly as my brother wasn't doing a very good job. He was just after the money!

Linda, Jeff and Linoor I hope you are all well today.

Have a good day everyone!

Tess

Hi everyone,

Thought I would catch up with you all this morning as I have a busy week ahead! Only have Friday without an appointment of some sort. It always seems to happen this way, its all or nothing. Lol

Hope its good news from the interview, Lizzy, I guess that would be the best xmas present in your house this year! Fingers crossed for you. Hope you are managing to keep your chin up, how is the councelling going now?

Tess, hope your painkillers are giving you some relief and that the kitchen is coming along well. Also things are settling down with your brothers and sisters. When my uncle died last year there was only my two cousins to sort things out and although they were seen to be very amicable during the actual funeral etc. they haven`t spoken since or even seen each other! Families!!

Well back on my new blood pressure tablets, after a break of 2 weeks to see if they were anything to do with the way I was feeling so we must wait and see. Sometimes I feel I would like to come off all my medications just to see who I am underneath and then introduce them one by one and find out just what does any good and what doesn`t!!!

Well, need to sorted for appointment number one of the week, take car for new tyres.

Wishing you all a good week, as pain free as possible.

Linda

Hi Linda & Everyone!

Good to hear from you Linda. I bet you have been busy with looking after your mum and travelling. I hope you get on ok with your blood pressure tablets now you are back on them. It would be good to start from scratch again with our meds.

My pain tablets are not working as well as I thought they might. They take the edge of the pain but it is still there.

Well things have gone from bad to worse with my brothers and sister.

I have only got my eldest sister now who is my family. My brother kept us waiting for two and a half weeks before he finally rang me about the ashes. That was after ringing him a lot of times and texting. He finally got to me and said he had been busy! He also said he had arrange to go visit the vicar who did the funeral to talk about the ashes. He will not let Christine and I have some ashes of our own. David wants us to stand there with Malcolm who has caused all the problems with stealing dad's money. My sister Christine and I do not want to scatter the ashes with him present as he has shown no remorse for what he has done. The law is whoever collects and pays for the ashes has the right to decide what happens to them. My brother's wife paid for them as she got us a discount through the co-op. Looks like we will probably not get any ashes.

We will still be scattering them in the same place as the rest of the family but on our own. Well we will have to see what happens.

Lizzy hope your are ok and Alan will get some good news!

Tess

Hi Tess and Linda,

I can relate to how you would like to stop all your medication Linda. I had this disscussion with MY GP last week. After receiving a very indepth reply to my consultant complaint 3 weeks ago. She is blaming my anti-depressants for some of my problems. So I asked my doctor if this is possible and he said yes. So I said I didn't want to do any more damage to my eyes (12 drops in each eye a day 3 different drops) and that I wanted to come off them. He was adamant that the answer was no. He told me that was a very foolish thing to do. It may well be but you only get one pair of eyes. So I asked for counselling on the NHS and he said no my problems are too deep for that, as I would only get a short course. So I asked how long did he think I would be on them for and he said he didn't know but at least a good 6 months more or longer. So Linda I do hope you get some answers to your blood pressure tablets.

Tess I am really sorry to hear that your brother is being so awful. It must be causing you and your sister so much pain and heart breake. You would have thought in this day and age that a pain killer could be found for fibro. I have been in so much more pain this year. Families can be so complicated I haven't spoken to my Step sister for years, yet we spent 10 years sharing a bedroom as young children.

Alan has his interview tomorow I do hope it goes well for him. Started to decorate our youngest bedroom a few weeks ago. Well I am really pleased as we have managed to do it all on a very small budget with all the paint that we have saved over the years. Just got to buy a tin of Gloss.

Off to counselling today not really sure how its going as it seems to have opened up some childhood stuff that I would have prefered to have left well alone with.

Jeff I hope life is treating you well. How is your wife and has your mum had her opp yet?

Take care everybody.

Lizzy

HI Tess sorry to hear things are not sorted yet about your dads ashes, I know what it feels like to be shut out of arrangements for this as my sisters arranged my dad's funeral without me. It hurts a lot I know Iam sending you big hug!!!

Hope everyone else is not too bad this week

Iam still waiting for new granddaughter to arrive she is now officially overdue lol

mum in law back out of hospital now just waiting for her chemo to start again

Keep chins up everyone

Hi Linnor

Thanks for the hug and yes it is difficult as you know. Still have to keep going and remember the happy memories. I hope your new little granddaughter arrives soon. What is she going to be called? We have a new little granddaughter arriving next March and she is going to be called Poppy. Will have three granddaughters then Molly, Sophie and Poppy when she arrives.

I hope your mum-in-law gets on ok with her chemo. Not a very nice time for her. What cancer has she got? I had thyroid cancer in 1996 and had to have radioiodene treatments. Had to drink some radioactive stuff. Luckily had no taste with it lol.

Lizzy i hope you are not over doing it with the decorating! Pace yourself! If only I would take my own advice.

Linda i hope your mum is doing ok and you have got your blood pressure tabs sorted.

Chris has gone off to work in his car to Ely for the first time today! Got there ok. It is like he has just passed his test all over again with not driving for three years. Much better for when he comes home as he hasn't got to wait now from 3.30 until 5 for a train. He wasn't getting home until 6pm.

Jeff I hope you are doing ok today. How is wife and mum doing now?

Tess

Hi all,

Well, survived my hectic week. just about! Still think blood pressure tablets are not suiting me very well, but will have to see what GP says on Friday.

Hope Alan has some success this week,Lizzy. As for different medications causing problems, if only the doc would listen to us, we know our own bodies best and just because a text book says they don`t cause problems doesn`t mean everyone is the same.

Tess hope your son is getting on ok with his driving, and his new job. Chris couldn`t find parking space on the road outside our house last night and managed very well getting into the drive.

I`m getting an awful lot of backache at the moment and trouble with heartburn. If I`m not awake at night with one it`s the other.

Well Ann is coming shortly to sort the fish tank out so must go and clear up the kitchen.

Take care everyone and hope this wet cold weather isn`t havin too much affect on you all.

Linda

Hi Linda

You are right about doctors listening to us but they never seem to! My daughter has the same problem with her consultant to do with her crohn's disease but they never seem to listen to her. Like you say we know our own bodies. It all seems to be text book and if it doesn't say it in the book it is not right. i hope you gp listens to you on Friday.

Yes Chris is enjoying his job and getting more use to being back on the road. He had a fright on the way home tonight along a dark stretch of road when a goose was in the middle of the road and he had to do an emergency stop. Its a good job he was only going at the normal speed or it could have caused an accident. He put on his hazards to warn the drivers behind him. Chris job is going well! Looking to forward to getting paid at the end of the month. We are his bank at the moment then will be giving him his bill.

Had a phone call from my brother today at long last! He said my brother wasn't going to scatter the ashes now. Didn't give any explanation or say what the vicar had said to him. He is going to scatter the ashes with his family and my other sister on Sunday 14th. He is going to give my sister and I some ashes of our own. He did ask if we were going to scatter them in the same place. He should know that is what we will do as all we have wanted is to do what was right for our dad. He is going to bring some round at the weekend. Still not sure how I feel about my brother now after all thats gone on. Will have to see how things go. To early to say yet. If my brother hadn't said Malcolm could scatter them done of this would have happened.

Nearly got the kitchen finished now and hopefully will be done before the end of the month. Think next job is to build the outhouse for the tumble dryer and washing machine. Then will be finishing off the dining area.

Should all be done hopefully before Christmas and then can settle down again. Might have a trip to Nottingham to see Andrew and Zoe at the end of the month. Will go down in the motor home and stay overnight.

Lizzy I hope you are doing ok today! And hope all goes well for Alan's interview this week.

Linnor has your little granddaughter arrived yet? If so what is she called and what did she weight.

Jeff hope you are doing ok today.

Tess

Hi Tess Linda Jeff and Linor,

Hope you are all well and that this cold weather is not causing too many aches and pains?

Linda I wish you all the best at the Docs on Friday. I hope you are still manageing to get some you time in. Sounds like Chris is becoming confident with his driving. My daughter is in the process of booking her driving test once we can find a suitable date. I hope the heartburn and backache have settled down.

Its all quiet here Alan has gone for another interview but still no job offers, its begining to get me down. Laura is out doing her paper round and the other 2 are still at school. Had an hours sleep earlier that was sooooo good.

Tess I'm so pleased that you have managed to come to some sort of arrangement over your dads ashes. Its so hard when you fall out with family members as its so hard to just switch off that connection with them when you have known them all your life.

Linor and Jeff hope all is going well for you both.

I have been having a tough time with the couselling I have opened up Pandoras box and now its out I will have to sort as it won't go back in. The problem is that I went through a great deal of emotional stress as a child and rather than deal with it I just put it to the back of my brain and never spoken about.

Today I have put the heating on as its so cold here. Nearly finished my youngest bedroom she has picked a nice pink paint and it goes well with the curtains.

Take care all.

Lizzy

Hi Lizzy

Must be a very worrying time for you with Alan still out of work. I do wish things will improve for you. Sounds like your counseling must be very draining for you and I hope at the end of it some things will get sorted.

I bet your youngest daughter likes her bedroom now your nearly finished painting it. Do you like doing the painting? I do and find it very relaxing.

I have had a busy week so far. Had Sophie/Molly on Tuesday as Molly was off school with a bad throat and ear aches bless her. Got her again today after Amy has taken her to the doctors as got a cough now and sounds on her chest. Had my hair done yesterday at home so feel better with that now.

Got a friend coming tomorrow for dinner. Going to an 80th Birthday Party on Saturday with Claire. Stewart was invited as well but wants to carry on with the kitchen. He does his last night at work this evening and then is off until Wednesday. Looking a lot like a kitchen now and so pleased with it.

Linda I hope you get on ok when you see the doctor on Friday.

Jeff and Linnor I hope this damp weather isn't giving you too much pain.

I don't like this damp wet weather really makes my legs hurt with the arthritis. Roll on the summer lol.

Take care!

Tess

Hi Tess and everyone,

So glad your kitchen is soming along well, its hard work but worth it when you see the finished room, I felt like that when our shower/bathroom was done last year. Can`t believe it`s almost a year since it was done! We moved into Ann`s old room at the back and that`s sorted now too! It takes a long while for us to finish things cause I have to do most of it myself, but house is almost as we want it now and really just needs a good clean. Don`t think I should have written that down, something usually goes wrong and I never quite reach that goal!! lol

Well, came out of doctors feeling worse than when I went in, my fault not his! Blood pressure is ok now and tablets seem ok too, so that`s positive. Problem is with me I never seem to be able to put into words just how I`m feeling and what my problems are, once I get into the surgery. Even tried making notes and reading them over and over while I`m waiting. Consequently I don`t get the answers I need.

Well not a busy weekend this week so hoping to do a bit more catching up and get closer to my goal of regular me time!!

Hope everyone is coping with this cold weather, it makes walking more difficult for me cause of the fibro and arthritis. Have a good weekend

Linda

Hi Tess and Linda,

Linda I know exactly what you mean about not asking the questions and getting the answers when I go to the Docs. I now write it down on paper and hand it to the Doc and he reads it and then answers what I have asked it works quite well. I'm pleased to hear your blood pressure tablets are working and not giving you too many aide effects.

At long last we have finished my youngests bedroom and the only thing left to do is move all her bits back in. I am shattered now.

Tess how are you doing? Yes Tess I find painting relaxing and my brain seems to stop the dreadful thinking that never stops all day long. Then I just have the pain for doing too much activity. You did have a busy week I hope you are resting today.

I'm going to feed my cake again later, looking forward to trying it at xmas.

Take care and wishing you all a good week.

Lizzy

Hi Lizzy

I bet your daughter is pleased that you have done her bedroom now. I hope you are going to get a rest now you have finished it.

I haven't made a christmas cake yet! I am hoping to get if done quite soon or I shall be running out of time. Your cake will be really yummy by the time Christmas is here. Can't believe how quick it is coming around.

My brother decided he wasn't going to bring the ashes round to me. He has now left them at my sister Hazels house he has sided with him on not letting dad go into a nursing home. She rang me yesterday and said she had got them and they were in a bag. My sister Christine went to collect them but she gave them to her in an pot. She was going to keep the pot for herself and just give them to us in a bag. How low can she get! She asked Christine for the pot back as she wanted to keep it.

We are going on Saturday to scatter ours and then going back to Christines house for tea. We will make it extra special. My dad would have been horified it she had handed the ashes over in a plastic bag.

Linda I hope you are doing ok today. Linnor and Jeff I hope you are both doing ok today.

Tess

Hi

Oh Tess how awful for you and your sister. I hope it all goes well and that you have a lovely tea afterwards.

Got to go the house is cold so need to lite the fire.

Will chat later.

Lizzy

Oh Tess, what a nightmare this has all been for you If losing your Dad wasn`t enough, then to be treated like this by your silings, like you said how would it make your Dad feel if he knew what had been happening.

Haven`t slept at all last night, so got up in the end just before six :!: My friend is coming for coffe this morning so just going to chill.

Hope everyone else is ok

Linda