People don’t understand ... how bad this is

Hi Vicky,

I was diagnosed at 43 and when the doc got my hormone test results, she made me feel like a freak and told me it was waaaaay too early. I know better now, I see a lot of women here my age or even younger and understand that it is ok. I have been experiencing a loooot of depressing feelings, crying spells for no reason, that can last for days, which can later change to days of sheer anger where I hate everyone and everything and isolate myself, because I understand that I act and sound like a crazy person. My whole body aches, my back, my neck, my shoulders, I go through days of being not hungry to craving odd foods and sweets. I am constantly tired, wake up just as tired as I was in the evening each morning hoping that today will be different. It's basically has been like a roller coaster from hell!!! Some days I am ok, for a week or two, and then out of no where the hell starts again. And from what I understand, I haven't experience the job of hot flashes just yet, that delight is yet to come, Yey! Which makes me wonder what else is coming and how long is this going to last and am I going to survive this, or am I going to either go mad or die from some kind of oncological desease, because menapause has been known to provoke all kinds of unpleasant deseases. Oh, and to top it off I can't do HRT, because my Mom, Grandma and Great Grandma all died from cancer. I am also pretty vain and constantly worry that I am aging prematurely.

So, I completely understand you, hang in there. I try to meditate and live in the moment, this is the only thing that helps me, just breath, when everything is bad, just concentrate on nothing but your own breathing and that's all. I also try to do things just for me, like the other day, I took a day off, made myself a sandwich and went to the part and sat there like a crazy lady and fed pigeons and crows by the lake all by myself, instead of being at work, and you know what, it helped!!! 

Sending you big hugs and lots of understanding and support :-)

Hi Marina, I will sent you a private message.

Don’t worry about hot flashes they are honestly NO BIG DEAL just just get a little warm and then it passes. It’s the fatigue that gets you and I am the same way . I’m tired ALL the time . Make sure you get plenty of rest and then at least you know you’ve had enough sleep and it’s just the hormones .

Maybe you could try BHRT ? 

Just remember there are loads of women going through exactly the same thing as you so you are not alone in this . 

Hi Vicky 

Yes it’s been a BIG SHOCK ! I honestly ever knew it could be so bad as nobody talks about it . It’s honestly  debilitating and depressing . 

And yes my friends my age seem to be working going out just living life normally it’s so frustrating I’m sure we all say why me ? 

I’m doing the best I can with alternative medicine and now the patch which I didn’t want to go on but I couldn’t continue anymore . I was making appts turning up then having to leave due to feeling so faint . It’s no life for now but you just have to ride the wave and tailor your life around this terrible illness. 

Marina-  oh my goodness it sounds like me except i didn’t know it was hormones.  i started having troubles in 40’s as well i think as i look back.    what is your age now?  im almost 50 in sept.  i am so worried about a few things i really ned some support today from anyone who can honestly say they have or have had my symptoms.   Dry mouth laat few weeks,  before that dry eyes almat stinging and nose dry ans bled a lil.  Hands fall asleep at night.  (i sleep w em tucked though)  can you not have periods and still bloat and feel crampy?  ive not had period 9 mo now  last ur went 9 mo and started and had to count down again!!!  im a nervous wreck about taking a shower or looking at my body for fear ill see something out of ordinary.  it sounds dumb i know.  Even washing myself im afraid to feel a lump or something somewhere.  i just have got to embrace this somehow.   will reaching menopause hopefully in few mo start getting better or worse?   peri would be over correct?  

I absolutely agree Lori, I couldn’t ever imagine the meno nightmare! For me there is no life without my hormones. For me menopause is an illness, I don’t find anything natural at all! The only positive thing was that I tried to reavaluate my life, to think that we will die someday and we have to live our life with the best way we can before it is too late...💐

Amen Vicky ! When I’m better and I say better as this is an ILLNESS I can’t wait to just live life ! Simple things like make a dinner plan go away for a weekend go shopping ! I’ve been holed up in this house now for almost 3 months . Trying to stay positive but it’s tough . I willing this to get better and doing everything I can to be healthy but this is even too much for a strong woman like myself . 

I had that ! Numbness in my hands  whilst sleeping it’s gone away now but boy that’s not the worst of it ! If you don’t have the anxiety fatigue and the dreaded depression be thankful as that’s definitely the WORST part of this transition . Most of the women on here if you look at my post about the one thing you can’t live with most women say the anxiety and fatigue . 

lori-   yes i have the anxiety and depression but i think its because of the worry of the symptoms being sinister instead of hormones.   i cant bring myself to have more fears validated by a dr so i dont go.  i figured id be blowing alot of money from what i read as it ends up hormones related and i will not take that hrt .  Hears too many awful things about it .  im glad it works for others.  it just makes my fear of cancer worse.

Well hopefully you don’t get so desperate that you’ll try anything . That’s where I am right now by 4.30pm I could have been in bed ! The anxiety is all hormones so you may want to try BHRT it didn’t work for me but you may have better luck .

I am a workout queen and I think that is half my problem as your adrenals crash during this time . I don’t want to give it up though as I love it and love having a great body . I may have to though . 

I completely understand how you feel.  If I do force myself to go with ANOTHER symptom.  I always end up crying and my heart rate goes way up.  It’s an awful feeling.

Hi, I can't thank you all enough for all the love and support. What are the main differences between BHRT and HRT?

Hi there, I just turned 44 in the beginning of June, but my periods and moods have beeing going all over the place in the past year or a little more. I too have dry mouth, dry hands, hands and feet fall asleep and cramp up, hands tingle sometimes as well, as there's bad blood circulation. And I know what you mean about being afraid to find a lump, it's not dumb and I am going through the same thing, I am afraid to wash my boobs, becuase I don't want to touch them and God forbid accidentally find a lump. Everytime something hurts, I think it's cancer, which I understand that, if you think about it, the chances of it being something else are much greater, then it being cancer, but still the only thing I can think of is the worse possible case scenario. So hang in there. I try to identify these thoughts, as I know that they are nothing but paranoia, and I stop them as soon as I realise that I am thinking them. I just think "there I go again, thinking paranoid thoughts, MARINA STOP!", of course they come back and I have to stop them again, but that's how you train your mind, I guess. I can only guess here and suggest something I try.  Hope you feel better! Big hugs!!!

Hi marina.  I thought I was the only one that didn’t want to wash or touch my boobs.  When my anxiety is really bad, I won’t even look at myself in the mirror.  I was doing better about stopping those thoughts saying the same things you were saying.  But I think I forgot how to do it.  So, thanks for reminding me.

Hi Lori,

I hear you loud and clear . .  . Oh to live the normal simple life again 🙏🏼 Who would have thought going shopping would have felt like such a massive achievement . .  . I had know idea I would be hit SO HARD by all these horrendous years called ‘perimenopause’ I actually dont know who I am anymore ? Anxiety is my worst symptom, I feel like every day problems suddenly become unbearable, like some massive mountain I can’t possibly conquer . . . I want to believe I’ll feel like me again one day, but I actually can’t imagine how all this is just going to go away ??? I thought I was a strong woman but this has bought me to my knees xx